Chapter 6: The Man with the Pink Gun
(A/N: The title's a James Bond reference if you couldn't tell.)
Rhode gritted his teeth, 'Me and my big mouth...'
"Open fire!!" Blondie yelled and Ian and Anthony both pulled out assault rifles and fired.
Rhode ducked back inside and headed out the back entrance. He couldn't handle her last time, and now she had help. While heading out, he ran into Doc.
"Rhode, what's going on?!" Doc yelled.
"We've got company!" Rhode answered, "We've gotta get Donut!"
They headed towards Red Base while the ex-Insurrectionists headed inside Blue Base. When they got there, Lopez looked at them, puzzled.
"¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?" (What are you doing here?)
"Lopez!" Rhode said, "Remember that female soldier that I told you about? The one that cut off my arm?"
"Si."
"Well, she's here. We need your help."
"¿Que puedo hacer?" (What can I do?)
"Doc, grab his arms and legs. I've got his head and torso."
"What are you planning?" Doc asked, untying Lopez.
"Just trust me," Rhode stated, grabbing Lopez's head.
Lopez's body in their hands, Doc and Rhode ran inside. They travelled down to the hologram room that Sarge had built and Rhode pulled out some power tools and set to work.
"Come on, come on," he spoke to himself as he reattached limbs.
"Hey!"
They turned and saw Donut standing at the top of the stairs. They breathed a sigh of relief.
"What's with all the hullabaloo?" Donut asked.
"Donut," Rhode ordered, "Watch the outside. We've got company. I need you to warn me if anyone's approaching."
"Oooh! Like spy stuff?!" Donut asked cheerfully.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Rhode said, "Just do your job."
"Alright!" Donut stated, putting his helmet on and grabbing his gun, "Agent Double-O-Donut is back!"
He headed out the door and Rhode just put on the finishing touch.
"Okay Lopez," he asked, "How is it?"
Lopez got up with his body attached and stretched his limbs.
"No es el mejor," Lopez stated, "Pero lo suficientemente bueno para luchar" (Not the best, but good enough to fight.)
"Awesome! Now let's go deal with those guys."
"OK."
"What do I do?" Doc asked.
"If one of us gets injured," Rhode instructed, "Do your job."
He and Lopez ran out the room. They spotted Donut looking out the door, cartoon style, and he turned.
"Guys, they're headed this way!" He whispered.
"Okay," Rhode took a deep breath and stepped out and Lopez followed.
"There he is!" Blondie yelled, "Open fire!"
Ian and Anthony obeyed and Rhode and Lopez returned fire. Rhode and Lopez began to retreat back to Red Base, seeing as Blondie kept slowly advancing, swinging her sabers.
As soon as they got inside, Donut began to open fire too, but Lopez got hit. In the neck. I think you know what happened.
"Mierda!" Lopez cried as his head hit the ground.
"Lopez!" Rhode cried out in alarm.
"¡Tienes que estar bromeando!" (You've got to be kidding me!)
Then Lopez suddenly felt his foot twitch, "¿Oh?"
Rhode ducked down and around the corner as Ian walked in, stepping over Lopez's body. Anthony followed, also stepping over Lopez. But before they could shoot Donut, Lopez's headless body got up and slammed their heads together, knocking them out.
"Lopez?" Donut said surprised.
"Bien," Lopez's head said, "Eso funcionó mejor de lo esperado." (Well. That worked better than expected.)
But the victory was short-lived, as suddenly, he lost control of all his body parts. Blondie had sliced off all his limbs.
"¡Oh vamos! Acabo de recibir este cuerpo de nuevo juntos!" (Oh come on! I just got this body back together!)
Donut whimpered in terror as he backed up, the hallway on his left. Donut fired once, but Blondie sliced the bullet in half.
"S-stay back!" Donut warned, "I'm warning you!"
"Oh yeah?" Blondie taunted, "What're you gonna do, Pinkie?"
Donut's jaw dropped as Blondie walked past the hall, "It's not pink!"
Suddenly, Blondie felt the barrel of a gun touch her helmet. Rhode was in the hallway next to her.
"It's lightish red," Rhode finished as he squeezed the trigger to his pistol.
His bullet definitely did not miss. Blondie fell to the floor, her helmet falling off. Her beautiful face now had an expression of surprise. Blood began to soak the floor around her head, staining her blonde hair.
"Oh, you got owned!" Donut told her corpse, "I saw it! Freaking owned!"
Rhode grinned, "You're right about that."
He looked at the sabers that she still had in hand. He picked them up, along with their sheaths.
"And to the victor," Rhode mumbled, putting on the sheaths and putting the sabers in them, "Go the spoils."
"What about them?" Donut asked, gesturing to Ian and Anthony.
Rhode thought about it, "Eh. They can live. Let's just scare them off."
XXX
When Ian and Anthony came to, they saw their dead leader's body a few feet away. They yelled in alarm at the sight and looked in front of them. Rhode pointed his new sabers at them.
"Yeah, I advise running now," Rhode smirked.
So they did. Without a second thought, they got up and ran to who knows where.
"Good job Donut," Rhode said, patting his friend on the shoulder, "You did good."
"Agent Double-O-Donut always gets his man!" Donut saluted, then frowned, "Or... Woman in this case."
"Yeah," Rhode said, picking Blondie's body up and throwing it into the river and watched the body float away, "Well, I'll be heading back now. I need my beauty sleep. Think you can fix Lopez?"
"I'm on the case!"
Rhode chuckled, "Alright then. Also, get Doc for me, unless he wants to stay in Red Base."
"Can do!"
And Rhode headed back to Blue Base, chuckling as he realized he had just avenged his right arm.
XXX
And that's the end of Blondie! I thought about that scene with the gun to the head thing, and wondered if Rhode should say, "Slice this," thus making a Matrix reference. Oh well. Next up, the reunion! Till next time guys!
