Hello there :). Here's a new chapter and I hope you'll all like it

**AGAIN, I KNOW THAT MY ENGLISH IS NOT PERFECT. IT IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND I AM TRYING THE BEST AS I CAN. PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT. THANK YOU**

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Harry was still sitting on the cold and wet floor. He felt absolutely horrible and ashamed. He felt sick that he was so turned on by that. He was a disgusting pervert. What kind of person would like seeing his teacher naked? Harry anwsered to that question, just a sick and twisted person. Not a normal person.

Than something crossed his mind. Was he like his father? Was he as horrible person as his father?! Harry quickly shook his head. He could not be like him. He just couldn't. But that thought just could not leave his mind. Was he really able to do something like this? Probably not, but he was still angry with himself that he was feeling those feelings. It just wasn't right. It was so unnatural. It was sick and perverted and at that moment he just wished to die.

All that he ever wanted was to be a normal boy, a normal boy with normal parents and a normal life. But Harry was anything but a normal person. Harry didn't want to be famous, he wanted to be just Harry with mother and father. Father... with a normal father, not a freak like James was. And now those feelings... It was just all too much for this 15 year old boy.

And some day he will have to face Lord Voldemort and kill him. Well, probably Voldemort would kill him first. And knowing that was slowly and painfully killing Harry. Plus he was blaming himself for Cedric's death. It was his fault, who's else could be? Harry knew that it was all his fault. It was his fault that Voldemort killed Cedric... Cho's boyfriend.

And Cho... Harry felt so bad that he was lying to her like that. She was a nice girl, she really was and she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve that her boyfriend died and now that Harry was lying to her.

Harry felt the hot tears gathering in his eyes. He wanted to hide them, but he was just too weak to do anything. Harry seriously considered killing himself so many times, especially this year. But he was just too weak to do anything. He was a coward, like his father was. A disgusting and a cowardly person. Harry let the hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

After a few minutes, Snape came out of his private rooms. When he saw Harry sitting on the cold floor and crying hardly, he was shocked. He didn't have experiences with situations like this and he didn't know how to react. But something in his heart was telling him that he needed to calm the boy down. Because seeing Harry like that really bothered Snape.

"Potter" carefully said Snape.

Harry got scared. He quickly looked up to see who was talking to him. When he saw Snape, he just hid his face into his palms.

"Potter, what's the matter?" tried Snape again, but he received no verbal anwser.

Snape was by now really worried. What on Eart could upset the boy like this?

"Potter!" raised Snape his voice.

Harry could not listen to Snape anymore. He whished that his professor wouldn't call him Potter, because that was his father's name... not his. He wasn't like his father. And because of that, he pressed his hands against his ears. It just hurt too much being called Potter.

"I'm not like him..." said Harry, while crying.

That surprised Snape. He couldn't believe that Harry was still bothered by that. He didn't know that the boy would care that much.

"Potter, I never said that-"

"Don't call me Potter. I'm not my father!" screamed Harry.

"I'm sorry" after a few moments of silence said Snape and countinued, "Po-... Harry, what's the matter?" asked Snape, with unusual warm voice. Then he got onto his knees, so that he was closer to Harry.

When Snape called Harry by his first name, Harry stopped crying. He was just really surprised. But, on the other hand, it felt nice when Snape called him Harry. It felt like somebody was hugging his heart.

"W-What?" asked Harry, trying to make sure that he heard right.

"Well, that's your name, isn't it?" said Snape and Harry noticed that his professor was embaressed.

Everything seemed so unrealistic to Harry at that moment. He looked at Snape, who was really close to Harry right now. Harry noticed that and he immediately blushed. Because he was so embaressed, he quickly looked at the floor.

"So, what's wrong?"asked Snape again.

Harry didn't know how to anwser his professor. He didn't want to lie to his professor, but he wasn't ready to tell him everything, so he decided that he would tell him only a part of everything.

"Eveything..." slowly started Harry and then he countinued. "Cedric's death... it's all my fault".

Snape was expecting this. He knew that Harry would blame himself.

"It's not your fault, Harry" quietly said Snape.

When Snape called him again by his first name, Harry blushed again. It felt so weird, yet so nice. Harry couldn't describe the feelings with words.

"B-But he got killed, because of me... If Voldemort would just kill me when I was a baby then..."

Snape shook his head. "You couldn't know that Voldemort would be there, could you?"

"I kow that, but still... if I wasn't there, Cedric wouldn't die" murmured Harry.

Snape just couldn't believe what was the boy saying. How on Earth could Harry be responsible for Cedric's death? Severus then soon remembered that he knew another person, who liked to blame herself for everything, just like Harry. And that person was no other than Harry's mother, Lily.

"And now that Voldemort came back... But nobody believes me. Everyone thinks that I'm just making this up and that I'm crazy" countinued Harry.

"I believe you" quietly said Snape.

Again, Snape's reaction made Harry stun. He couldn't understand why was his professor so kind to him all of the sudden. Harry thought that maybe his professor felt sorry for him, or maybe he was trying to calm him down. Harry just couldn't figure out what was his professor up to. However, it felt good that Snape believed him and that he didn't think that Harry was just acting crazy. Harry smiled for a few seconds, but that smile suddenly faded away, when he remembered the fact that Voldemort was probably looking for him and when he would find him, he would try to kill Harry.

Snape noticed that Harry's smile disappeared, so he asked the boy once again: "What is it? You know, if you talk about things with other people it actually helps. Believe me, I was the same, but your mother thought me this."

Harry looked at Snape. This was the first time when Severus mentioned Lily. Harry wanted to tell everything to his professor, but talking about things like this was too hard for Harry. It was just too painful and it made him remember painful things. But he didn't want to remember. Harry wanted to forget everything.

He just couldn't say it out loud that Voldemort will kill him. Harry wanted to live, even though many people didn't like him. Even though he was through a lot, he still liked his life. He wanted to grow up, have a family.

Hot tears started gathering in Harry's eyes again. Harry hated that. He hated the fact that he was so weak, he couldn't do anything but cry.

Snape couldn't stand it anymore. He didn't want to admit it, but he actually felt bothered when he saw Harry crying. He knew that he needed to try calm down Harry, but he didn't know how to, so he tried again: "Harry, you can trust me"

"H-He'll kill me" finally said Harry. His own words hurt Harry.

Just as Snape wanted to say something, Harry interrupted him: "I feel so lonely sometimes. Even though I have many friends, I feel lonely. I am pathetic, right? I should be happy to have so much people around me who love me, but I just..."

Harry was crying really hard by now and that was starting to annoy him. Why was he crying in stead of doing something? He really was a coward. A weak person. He must've been... And that was the reason why he couldn't help Cedric. He was a weak person, just like his father.

"I'm such a coward" quietly said Harry.

"That's not true" anwsered Snape.

"How is that not true? If I wasn't a coward I would do something. I would save Cedric and I wouldn't be here crying all the time"

"Harry, you are ony 15. And for a 15 year old you are pretty strong" said Snape.

For s few seconds, Harry didn't say anything. He was just sitting there and trying to calm himself down. However, he just couldn't stop crying. He knew that he needed to do something or think of something else to stop himself crying, but all the things he tried it just didn't help. And by now he felt really embaressed for crying like that in front of his professor.

"Potter, calm down" said Snape and put his hand on Harry's right shoulder.

As Snape's hand touched Harry's shoulder, Harry's body stiffened. He could feel that annyoing heat spreading through his body and he started breathing faster. He just hoped that Snape wouldn't notice that he blushed and that his heart started beating like crazy. However, Harry finally stopped crying, because he was too busy trying to control his body.

When a few moments have passed by, Harry felt better. It actually helped to talk to somebody else about his problems. He looked at his professor, to thank him.

"Thank you, sir. It really did help talking about those things" said Harry.

"See? What did I tell you?" said Snape and Harry could swear that his professor almost smiled. Snape then quickly got up onto his legs. As Harry's professor did that, his hand left Harry's shoulder. Harry got so used to that feeling that when the hand disappeared from his shoulder he felt somehow disappointed. He wished that Snape would touch him again.

Harry then got onto his legs also.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Harry" said Snape with an unusual soft voice, making Harry blush. Snape then lifted his arm and professor quickly ran his fingers through Harry's hair. As Severus did that, Harry opened his eyes wide. He was completely shocked and confused by his professor's actions. What the hell was Snape trying to do?

Harry really liked when Snape touched his head, but he soon wished that his professor wouldn't do that. Because Harry's body reacted in a way Harry didn't like. When Snape's hand touched Harry's head it felt like electricity started spreading through Harry's body.

When Snape saw how the boy reacted, he quickly removed his hand from Harry's head. Severus knew that he shouldn't do that. Harry was his student, and he was Harry's teacher. However, at that moment he just couldn't resist patting Harry's head, because at that moment the boy looked really cute.

"P-Professor... why did you give me detention today?" asked Harry, because he didn't want that Snape would notice how red his face was.

Snape was silent for a few moments, before he anwsered Harry's question. There was a reason why Snape gave Harry detention, but it wasn't because of Harry's bad behaviour. Snape knew the real reason, but it was just too embaressing to tell anymone, especially to Harry.

"Well, like I said before... It's not because of your bad behaviour. It's just..." Snape paused and tried to come up with something that Harry would believe. Quite a few seconds passed by before Snape countinued "You weren't attending my classes for two weeks, and I thought you might need a help with catching up with your classmates."

Harry was just looking at Snape, not saying anything. He almost started laughing when Snape said that. Harry knew that his professor was lying, because Snape would never do something like this. Heck, not just Snape, but every teacher that Harry know wouldn't help him if he skip their classes. However, Harry didn't want to bother his professor, so he just nodded.

When Harry nodded, Snape relaxed a bit. He knew that Harry probably didn't believe him, but as long as the boy didn't start to attack him with new questions, that was all that Snape needed.

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During their private lessons, Harry did't say anything. He was just listening to Snape and taking notes. However, he wasn't mentally pressent in those lessons. Harry was asking himself constantly why was he feeling this way around Snape. He has never in his life felt that way. Even last year when he liked Cho not.

Harry liked when Snape touched him. Even though it felt weird, Harry liked it. And what was bothering Harry was the fact that Snape was a man! And Harry had never in his life liked somebody who was the same sex as him. And there was an annoying question constantly bothering Harry. But the question was so embaressing that even Harry couldn't say it.

When Snape saw that Harry wasn't paying attention, that annoyed him.

"Mr. Potter, could you please listen when I talk."

Harry soon stopped thinking and quickly anwsered "I'm sorry, sir. But I think we can stop now with these lessons and countinue tomorrow".

Harry really had enough. He needed to be alone, so that he could think everything over.

"But it's only been an hour since we started" said Snape.

Only an hour? Harry thought that he's been there much more time.

"W-Well, I have to go somewhere. And I have to do a lot of homework" lied Harry.

"Go somewhere?" asked Snape with his monotone and cold voice.

Harry quickly remembered Cho this time.

"Cho, I promised that we'll get together." Harry felt really bad that he was using her like that, but at times like this it really helped to have a 'girlfriend.'

"You can meet her some other time" said Snape and he sounded really angry. Harry was surprised at Snape's reaction.

Snape ran his fingers through his hair. This was the first time that Snape lost control over his emotions. Since Lily broke his heart, Snape always hid and controlled his emotions really well, but not this time. Harry noticed how his professor's body started shaking a bit.

"What's wrong, sir?" asked Harry, puzzled. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with Snape.

"What I mean is... your should focus your time more on studying than dating. You need to be prepared if something really happens"

Harry knew that his professor had a point. However, Harry could not focus on studying now. Harry needed to sort his feelings out.

"I know, but... She was really disappointed that I skipped our first date today, so I want to make up to her" said Harry.

Snape didn't say anything, so Harry thought that he can go, but just as he was ready to leave the Potion's classroom, Snape went after him and quickly grabbed his wrist.

"Please stay" quietly said Snape.

Harry quickly pushed Snape's hand away. What the hell was his professor doing? Harry didn't know anymore. Was his professor making fun of him? Was Snape trying to hurt Harry, because he read Snape's diary? Harry knew that this could be the only logical anwser to his question. However, when he looked Snape, Harry could see an unknown emotion in his professor's eyes. Harry couldn't figure out what that emotion was.

The next thing that Harry did was turn away and ran out of Snape's classroom.

When Harry left Snape loudly cursed. He was angry with himself that he couldn't control himself in front of the 15 year old boy.

Snape usually hid his emotions very well. But there was always an emotion that he couldn't hide. And that emotion was jealousy.

Severus Snape was jealous.