Jude sat behind the steering wheel, the purr of the engine was just as sweet as the hum of the recording equipment. She couldn't remember the last time she had driven a car. In London she had a driver, and even here, she knew she had a driver, but all she wanted was to drive her own car. She had asked Jamie to drive it a few times a month, to take care of it for her, and she was impressed with how well of a job he had done. It was perfectly waxed, and started without a single back fire. But she knew she could only let the car run for a minute. She could see the cameras flashing through the garage windows, and she hear them shouting questions.
She shut the car off when she heard a knock on the driver window. She rolled it down and looked up at Kwest.
"Suicide isn't the way to go." He laughed, opening the door.
"If they'd move, I'd open the door." Jude said stepping out of the car. She had only had it on for thirty seconds, but she could taste the exhaust in the air.
"I wouldn't bet on that happening anytime soon." He smiled at her. "Your driver is here, and so is Big Lou."
"Big Lou, again?" Jude asked.
"Darius wants you protected, even if you're not signing with him." Kwest explained, as they walked back into the house. "Got to protect the Instant Star family."
"Did Sadie already leave?" Jude asked, looking around the empty living room.
"She's out of the house by seven, every morning." Kwest smiled.
"Alright, I'll see you at G Major for dinner then?" Jude asked leaning up and kissing his cheek before leaving. "Seven, don't be late!" she shouted as she stepped out of the house and into the madness. She was glad Lou was there to direct her through the people.
"Jude!" people shouted her name, trying to get a picture, a good picture.
"Are you and Little Tommy Q back together?" someone shouted.
Jude looked around, her eyes protected by the sunglasses she had come to rely on. She used her hand to shield extra flashes. Some of the faces were ones she remembered, others were new, most were new.
"Did you come back for him?" "Are you signing with G Major, or NBR?" "What about your band in England?" "Are you staying?"
Jude was amazed at all the questions, she was amazed she was able to hear so many of them as she made it to the car. Big Lou kept them back. She sighed as the door closed, it was annoying to go through that every time she stepped out her door.
"Where to Miss Harrison?" the driver asked.
"My loft." She said, watching at the car pulled away, leaving the reporters behind, the cameras, and the questions she didn't have answers for. She looked for Speiderman's numbers as her neighborhood passed by. She was going early, staying in the house was driving her mad.
"You've reach the Speid and his hot wife." His voice was happy, laughable even. "Leave me a message." Karma laughed as well. Jude wasn't sure if she had heard her sound actually happy before.
"Hey Speid, it's Jude." Jude sighed, she knew it was too early for him to be awake. "I'm heading to the loft, I'll see you when you get there." She hung up feeling stupid, what kind of message was that? Of all the people from back home, Speid was the one person she had seen the most of. He had gone with Karma on her European tour, even flown over to help her record a few songs. She had found another band in England, one she worked great with, but she knew no one would ever be able to connect with her on the same level as Speid did when he had a guitar in his hands. He had even come over with Kyle and Wally to visit. He had been a great friend to her over the years, and now she was excited to see him and the boys, back where they use to make music.
She was happy to see the neighborhood was still the same, run down and shady. Just looking around the outside of the building she knew that Nikola and Dylan would never approve, but to her it was home. Big Lou walked next to her, his eyes seemed to dart between the end of the hallway to Jude. But Jude was too focused on the door. When she put the key into the lock she looked up at Lou, confused as to why is wasn't turning. She could hear someone on the other side, and stepped back when she heard the locked click. Her mouth fell open a little as she looked at the girl on the other side of the door. She looked up at Big Lou even more confused.
"Oh my gosh, you're Jude Harrison!" the girl nearly shouted. Her long brown hair fell down to her waist, and her brown eyes seemed to light up with excitement as she looked at Jude.
"Yeah, and you're?" Jude said pointing at the girl. The longer she looked at her, the more familiar her face came. Her face was thin, and it seemed to match her body, and Jude could tell due to the lack for clothes the girl was wearing. Shel had on a pair of short jogging shorts, and a white tank that was cut way to low to do any actually jogging in. When Jude looked back up at her, she knew where she knew the girl.
"May, Instant Star winner." The girl laughed. "I can't believe you're here, like outside the loft, here."
"Well this is my loft." Jude looked confused, she looked back down the hallway, making sure it was the right one, and she knew it was from the faded picture of Patsy glued to the wall.
"Who's at the door?" the voice made Jude's heart stop.
She watched as he pulled the door back, opening it all the way, only to stop when he saw her confused face.
"Jude?"
"Tommy." Jude answered shaking her head.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Shouldn't I be asking that?" Jude wondered, looking back at May. "But I've got a pretty good idea." She sighed, crossing her arms in front of her. She looked back at Tommy, and looked him up and down, he was fully dressed, but she could tell by the look on his face, he had been caught doing something.
"You've always been good at jumping to your own conclusions." Tommy remarked.
"Maybe I wouldn't have to, if it wasn't so obvious." Jude said looking back at May.
Jude could see the annoyed look she was getting the girl, and it only added more fuel to her fire.
"I should get going Tom, I'll see you at the studio." May said pushing her way through Jude and Big Lou.
Jude watched the girl walk down the hall and then looked back at Tommy. "Well Tom, last I checked, I was the owner of the loft." This was the one place she wasn't able to let go when she left for London. She had spent days on the phone with Iggy, trying to get him to agree to letting her buy the space. The space had meant so much to her, and SME, she couldn't leave them without it.
"And I was renting it." Tommy added, stepping aside allowing Jude to come in.
Jude looked around the loft, it didn't look much like Tommy's style. There was a bass still in its stand, and an old set of Kyle's drums. She stopped when she saw her motorcycle where she had once had a piano. She pointed to it, looking back at Tommy.
"I couldn't leave them at your house to rust." Tommy shrugged, closing the door with Big Lou standing guard.
"I don't remember saying you could rent my loft." Jude said taking her jacket off, and laying it on an empty chair.
"You didn't, Stuart did." Tommy said walking over to the bed, and pulling at the blankets.
"My dad?" Jude asked.
"I needed a place to stay, while I'm working on the album." Tommy sighed looking up at her. "Sadie said she would tell you."
"She obviously failed to inform me." Jude looked at him. She thought back to last night, Sadie had wanted to say something, but Jude didn't listen, and now she wished she had. She pulled her arms tight around her stomach, watching as Tommy picked things up.
"When I talked to your dad I had no idea you were coming back." Tommy said looking up at her. "I'll find somewhere else."
"No." Jude shook her head. "There's no reason we can't share the space, you'll be in the studio working during the day, I can use the loft then," she smiled at him.
"You're not doing the album?" Tommy asked.
Jude turned around and walked towards the drums. "I'm not that Instant Star girl anymore. I want as much distance put between her and me as possible."
"What happened to Jude Harrison?" Tommy asked. "What happened to the girl that thought it was such a good thing I do another song with Boys Attack?"
"She grew up." Jude shrugged her shoulders.
"You shouldn't hate Instant Star Jude, you should embrace it. It's what made you, gave you your start. Without it, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be the Rock Star that you are now." Tommy gave her a small smile. "I hope you'll reconsider, it'd be fun to work with you again." He didn't say anything else, he just turned and went towards the door, leaving Jude to her own thoughts.
Jude ran her hand over the top of the old Fender. The neck of the guitar showed its true age, each nik and dent in the wood were like trophies of the work that guitar had done, that songs it had written. Jude wondered how many times she had sat and watched Tommy work over a song on that guitar. Every part of her was burning to pick it up, to play something, anything, but she knew she shouldn't, not with Tom Quincy's guitar. As she looked at the bed, she felt a sudden urge to burn it. That bed, this loft had been the first place she had shared with Tommy, and now she knew he was sharing it with other girls. The list she had burned so many years ago popped into her head. She had once written her name over the top of all the other girls. It seemed almost laughable now, to think that she could have been the last girl he was ever with. How naive she was.
