Back on the Normandy
"Why is there so much blood!" Wrex burst out, carrying the writhing Commander Shepard in his arms, while he hurrying in the direction of the medbay, followed closely by Liara and Dr. Mordin Solus.
He glanced down at Shepard.
Her face was pale, eyes pressed tightly shut and bloodless lips pulled back over gritted white teeth. She had one hand pressed over the entrance wound on her shoulder, the thick red liquid oozed out between her fingers, flowing down her chest in scarlet streaks on shining black armour, pooling on her stomach and dripping down her sides. She felt so small in his arms, so light. This wasn't right.
"There isn't supposed to be so much blood!"
That wouldn't be happening if she was a Krogan, thick skinned with patches of strong scales over their bodies. But she wasn't a Krogan, as much as she sometimes reminded him of one. She was a squishy soft human being, bleeding out in his very arms. Damn humans and their flimsy bodies!
He stormed into the medbay, once inside he lowered Shepard gently down on one of the operating tables, not minding the blood sticking to his own hands and chest. Her blood.
"Burns like hell." Shepard got out between clenched teeth and ragged breathing. "Get that bullet out!"
Liara pushed past him while Mordin settled himself on the other side of the table, already starting to remove her armour, revealing the nasty looking wound on her shoulder.
"Hold her down, Wrex!" Liara instructed him after scanning Shepard's body and examining the wound. "God, she's losing too much blood already." she said with wide eyes, her hands visibly trembling.
"I've already said that." he growled. "Do something!"
"Joker!" she half screamed into the communicator at her wrist."Get us to the Citadel, now! We need help!"
"Roger that!" Jokers answered. "Will she be alright?" his voice was slightly trembling.
Liara didn't answer his question, her silence louder than words.
Wrex bend over Shepard, holding her arms in place, while Liara started to remove the bullet in her shoulder. Shepard lay there panting heavily, teeth gritted so tightly that he thought they would shatter any moment, starring up at the ceiling with her green eyes afire as if she was saying "You want me death? Come and try!" What a Krogan she would have made.
Wrex stayed with her after the surgery was done, thankfully they'd been able to stop the bleeding after the bullet was out, but Shepard had fallen into unconsciousness after that. He stared unblinkingly at the blood that had pooled around her on the table. It had already turned a deeper shade of brown. Shepard's face was paper white and her breathing low and shallow, he'd checked it several times to make sure she was still alive.
He felt a hand on his still armoured shoulder and looked up to see the female "Eve", Mordin had called her, standing beside him.
"Why" she asked in a deep rumbling voice. "Why did that human risk her live to save mine?"
It was a question he'd asked himself over and over in the past few hours.
"I don't know." He answered her truthfully.
….
Huerta Memorial
Kaidan and his doctor looked to the open door of his room. It was already late in the evening and there weren't many people around at this time, usually. People hurried back and forth in the corridor and he could make out bits and pieces of conversations when they passed by his door. It wasn't until he heard a specific name that he actually attempted to rise and walk to the door to see what was going on.
"You are not supposed to leave your bed, Major." Dr. Michelle commanded when she saw him swinging his legs over the side of his bed.
"But.."he objected, glancing passed her at the corridor."They mentioned Commander Shepard."
"I 'eard that. You stay 'ere while I see what's going on." she flashed him a stern look before she went quickly out the door, shutting the door behind her.
Was she alright? What had happened? What had she been doing? Too many questions raced through his head after Dr. Michelle had left the room and he grew more and more impatient with every passing minute. He needed to know what was going on. Now!
He rose up slowly just as the door opened again and Dr. Michelle stepped back inside. She raised an eyebrow at him and he sunk back into his pillows with a frustrated grunt.
"The Commander 'as been shot in the shoulder during a mission." she reported, looking down at data-pad in her hands.
"What?" he exclaimed, half rising from his pillows again.
"Apparently she was hit by a knew type of ammunition constructed by Cerberus to penetrate shields and armour. As far as we can tell it contained a chemical toxin that stops the natural cell regeneration. She's lost a lot of blood before Dr. T'Soni and Dr. Solus where able to remove the bullet. But!" she raised a hand to stop him from speaking. His stomach had turned while hearing the news and the blood drained out of his face in a rush.
"Her vitals are stable and she's receiving blood transfusions as we speak. She's still unconscious but she should be alright." the doctor concluded, looking up from the pad in her hand.
"Can I see her?" he asked, trying again to get out of bed, despite the fact that every motion made his muscles scream in protest. He didn't care.
"You are not allowed to leave the bed." she repeated her words from before, placing a hand on his shoulder and pushing him, effortlessly, back into the pillows. He hated being this weak. He hated his body for not responding properly to him and he hated not being by her side when she needed him. If she still needed him.
He had send her a message, informing her that he was awake and that he would like to see her, but received no response, not a single word.
Maybe she was just too busy with rescuing students or fighting off Brutes with her bare hands, that footage had nearly given him a heart attack when he had seen it on the news. Maybe she didn't want to see him. Maybe she didn't care about him anymore. He cared, though. And he wanted to make sure she was alright, even if she didn't feel the same way about him.
"I want to see her." he said stubbornly.
"I will see what I can do." Dr. Michelle said squeezing his shoulder. "Tomorrow." she added with a stern look in her eyes.
"Tomorrow." he agreed grudgingly, pulling the blankets he had shoved aside before, back over his chest.
"Sleep well, Major." she said when she left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving him alone with his worries. As if he would be able to sleep tonight.
Kaidan waited patiently until the lights were dimmed in the corridor beyond his door, before he swung his legs out of his bed. He slowly stood up, not sure if his legs would carry his weight. Even if not, that wouldn't stop him, if necessary he would crawl out of the room to get to her. To his relieve though, his legs stopped trembling, mostly, after a while and he was able to limp to the door.
Luck was with him today, he thought when he looked out of the door into the corridor and saw that it was empty. He limped to an open terminal at one side of his room, activated his omni-tool at his right arm and simply hacked the damn thing to find out where she would be. It only took him a couple of minutes before he got through the firewalls. Tali would be proud of him, he thought with a grin.
Room 239 Jane Shepard.
He read, looking up on his own door, Room 230. Not too far. His body already ached from head to toe again, but he could endure the pain. Slowly he began to move, one step at a time, with his hand at the wall to support him. When he finally reached Room 239 he had to stop for a moment. He felt as if he had been running all day. After catching his breath again he opened the door to her room and sneaked inside.
The room was barley lit, just a dim light in one corner, but he could see Jane laying on the only bed in the middle of the room. Thankfully there were no machines or monitors attached to her, and he let out a breath of relieve.
Even by the dim light he could make out the pale skin on her face, slightly illuminated by the stark contrast of the midnight-black hair that fell in messy strands over her closed eyes and nose. Her breathing was deep and regular, which indicated that she was either vast asleep or still unconscious.
Kaidan looked around the room and found a chair standing in one corner beside the window. He went over and managed to drag-lift it to one side of her bed without causing, too much noise. He dropped down in it with an audible sigh of relieve, he wouldn't be able to get out of it soon, not that he wanted to leave anyway.
Kaidan's gaze lingered upon her peaceful, sleeping face for several long moments before he leaned forward and gently took her hand in his, it was a small hand, he noticed, warmth and a familiar buzzing radiating from it and when he moved his own ever so slightly he could feel the ruff patches of calloused skin under his fingertips.
He brought her hand to his lips and planted a light kiss on the back of her hand before he reached out with his other hand and tenderly brushed the hair off her face, his fingertips gliding over the soft skin on her temples.
Her eyes opened slowly, blinking several times before they focused on him. Kaidan felt unable to move, to speak, even to breath, he wanted to stay like this, holding her hand and losing himself in the depths of her eyes and the feel of her skin against his fingertips.
"Kaidan?" her voice was sleepy and very quiet, it send a shiver down his spine just to hear her speak his name.
"Hi there." he whispered back, a smile forming on his lips, his fingers moving along her jaws, his thumb brushing lightly over her cheekbones, he felt her shiver, her hand moving up to cover his own as she leaned into his touch.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice still soft.
"I've heard you've been shot." he replied. "I came to check on you, how are you?"
"I'm fine." she said closing her eyes, and he thought she'd fallen back into sleep but when she opened them again she seemed much more alert.
She looked at him again and her eyebrows crease in a light frown.
"Kaidan?" she asked again, her voice no longer sleepy. "What are you doing here?"
He sat back, not quite understanding what she meant. Did he do something wrong? Didn't she want to see him?
"You're not supposed to get up, yet." she said, fixing him with a stern expression on her face and trying to get up herself. She breathed in a sharp breath and moved her hand to the bandages along her right shoulder. He used her momentarily distraction to push her gently back into her pillow.
"Neither are you, Jane." he stated.
"I'm fine." she repeated her words from before, not very convincing since she pressed them out between gritted teeth.
"You're not." he said simply, unconsciously retaking her hand in his. She looked down at it and then back up at him.
"Your girlfriend won't be very happy, if she finds out you sneaked into another woman's room in the middle of the night." she said retrieving her hand from his.
"My what?" he asked sitting back looking dumbstruck.
She rolled her eyes and looked away. "The pretty blond girl sitting beside your bed? What was her name? Alice...something."
"Tikaani."
She let out a huff and he mentally slapped himself for saying that.
"Congratulations Major, she's beautiful." she said still not looking at him.
"She's not...I mean...she is, but-"
"It's alright, Kaidan. I understand and...I'm happy for you."
"Alice is not my girlfriend, Jane."
"It didn't look like that when I came to check on you."
"Well I don't know what it looked like, but-"
"She loves you, Kaidan."
He sighed. "I know, but-"
"You don't have to explain yourself. I don't blame you or anything...it's been a long time...and you moved on...it's okay...don't worry about me..."
"Jane, stop." he interrupted her. "I'm not seeing anyone. Alice is just a friend, nothing more. Yes, she has feelings for me, I know that, but I don't. I never had...because...because..." I never stopped loving you. He wanted to say these words, he could feel them form on the tip of his tongue, but they remained unspoken.
There was a long silence stretching between them, neither of them speaking or looking at one another.
"Will we ever get over this?" she finally broke the silence between them.
Kaidan's eyes fixed on hers and he swallowed. What did she mean? Over him? Over them? Over..
"What?" he asked his voice almost a whisper.
"Me dying..Horizon...everything that went wrong?" she clarified, gaze dropping away from his.
He stayed silent, looking down at his hands, pondering over her question in his mind.
"I thought I lost you back there...on Mars." she half-whispered and he glanced up.
Jane wasn't looking at him. She'd turned her head sideways toward the windows, chewing on her fingernails, her eyes starring unfocused into the night. "I kept asking myself...over and over...what if I've been quicker...what if-." her breath hitched and there were tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
"Jane." Kaidan said moving to sit beside her on the bed, ignoring his protesting muscles.
"Oh Kaidan..." she whimpered, suddenly flinging her arms around his neck and burying her face in the hollow of his neck, her body shaking with silent sobs.
Kaidan held her close, rocking softly back and forth as best he could, while drawing soothing circles on her back. The fragrance of her hair filled his nose and he inhaled deeply, it smelled faintly of cherry blossoms, her favourite shampoo. He planted a kiss on top of her head and buried his nose deep into her hair, savouring every breath.
A faint blue glow surrounded them, sending warm waves causing through his body and making his skin tingle. After long moments sitting like this, she finally stopped shaking and moved her head slightly back to look up at him. Her eyes still glittering wet with tears and her lips were so tantalisingly close to his that he could almost taste them.
"Sorry." she whispered, he could barley make out the word over the sound of his pounding heart.
He smiled. She always said that after someone saw her cry, as if shedding tears was something to apologize for. She'd done exactly that when he had found her crying behind a crate in the Storage on the Normandy, after Virmire.
"Don't be." he whispered back, brushing away the remaining tears on her cheek and under her eyes with his thumb. She looked so beautiful in that moment, the same way she had years before when he had said and done exactly the same.
It felt like he was thrown back in time, and for a moment everything around him vanished, everything but her. He moved closer and felt her warm breath against his lips when she exhaled deeply. But before their lips could touch she'd pulled away from him, and he released her.
"We should get you back to your room." she said, with a faint smile on her face. And before he knew it she had hopped out of the bed and crossed over halfway to the door.
Kaidan blinked at her, several times, still feeling a little dazed he got back on his feet, swaying slightly when his legs wouldn't immediately support his weight. And then, she was there again, pulling his arm around her shoulders and steadying him with the other around his waist.
"I can very well walk alone." he started to protest.
"Oh, I can see that." she said with a small smirk on her lips, while guiding him to the door.
Kaidan huffed, although he really liked the feeling of her body pressed against his side with her arm around his waist and his arm around her shoulder. "You shouldn't get out of bed, yourself." he continued to argue.
"You're worse off than me." she replied. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
"Not really." he admitted when they walked into the corridor.
"Didn't think so. Your hair is a mess." she grinned up at him.
His hand involuntarily reached up to touch his unkempt hair, it had grown longer, he noticed when he pulled his finger through, messing it up even further. He would need a haircut soon.
"I like it." she said, biting on her tongue while still grinning at him."I would like it even more if your face wouldn't look like a male version of an Asari." she giggled.
"Is it that bad?" he asked her, running a hand down his face.
She laughed at his expression, it sounded like a tiny bell in his ears, and he grinned foolishly at her.
"No." she said, still chuckling."You're still looking good, Major." she teased.
They'd reached his door and he gave her a knowing look. "You've been distracting me, so I stop arguing with you." he accused her.
"Yes." she replied shamelessly, leading him through the door to his room. "Telling you not to argue with me never worked, you're too stubborn."
"Me?" he said his voice rising several octaves.
She smiled at him again, that lovely smile that made her eyes sparkle. And he couldn't help but return that smile. It felt good, it felt like being with her back on the SR-1. It felt like no time had past at all. Maybe she really was the woman he knew, maybe she really came back to him.
"Jane." he said when they reached his bed. "It's really you, isn't it?" he asked, not really knowing why he had, but somehow it was important to him.
Jane looked at him, her eyes unreadable as she slipped around to stay in front of him. She regarded him with those eyes for several moments before she finally stepped closer, leaving only inches between them. He held his breath, not daring to move or to speak.
"Words won't convince you, I guess." she murmured, it wasn't a question, it felt more like a statement, but before he could think about it any further, she'd went up on her tiptoes. Balancing herself against his chest with her hands, she brushed her lips against his, so lightly it felt like the wings of a butterfly. His biotics flared up fully for the first time since his accident. And a spark of energy sizzled in the tiny space left between their lips. Her energy immediately reacted to his, running down her arms and hands right into his chest.
Kaidan wrapped both arms around her, pulling her tightly against him as he finally captured her lips with his. Her silky lips moved against his, slow and soft, comforting and reassuring, while their combined energy raced through his veins with every heartbeat, with every touch. It was heaven, bliss, joy...paradise, it was her. There was no denying the fact, that this was really her.
The kiss ended far to quickly for his taste when she removed her lips from his after what seemed like seconds to him, but before she pulled back completely she planted another very light kiss on his lips, like an afterthought, a signature, a promise.
"See you tomorrow, before I leave the citadel." she said, sounding a little breathless.
He was too dazed to answer her, or even comprehend what she was saying. But before he could regain his senses, she was gone. Leaving him alone in his dark room, to pull his scattered thoughts back together.
Kaidan crawled back into his bed, not noticing the lose items scattered all over the floor. Or feel his aching limps and muscles, he still felt however, the touch of her lips against his, and with that he finally fell asleep.
