AN: Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or any of the characters; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer. Please note that the words in italics are directly from New Moon.

I hope you enjoy this chapter; I will not be able to post the next one until after I post the next chapter of 'My Little Sis.' Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter, and thanks for taking the time to read it.

Memories

A searing pain ripped through my chest as Aro took my hand and drew forth the last image I had of Bella as I left her. The hollow in my chest was echoing the pain of my loss. Aro quickly progressed backwards in my memories until he found my human memories, or what remained of them.

There were very few, and most of them pertained to my mother. The clearest one concerned a talk she had with me about girls and sacrifice. She had told me that one day she hoped I would find a girl who I loved more than life itself, and she said when I found that girl, I must willingly sacrifice or surrender everything to her. Her words were so clear, 'When you willingly sacrifice everything to her, then you will discover that what you receive in return is much greater than anything you thought you were giving up. Also remember love is not about receiving but about giving. It's what you give to her, the quality and quantity of that giving, that is important.

With true love, you will never have to ask yourself if she loves you, you will know whether or not she does by what she returns to you out of her love for you.' Had my mother had a premonition about Bella one day entering my life, or was that how she felt about my father, and she was hoping I would find the same kind of love that she had found?

The one memory I retained of my father was also a talk about love and women. It had to have been just before our illness, because I had just turned seventeen. 'Son,' he said, 'Don't try to understand women; it'll never happen. They are marvelously unique beings. Just know that when you find one you love, and I mean really love, she will be worth more to you than anything else in life. She will become your life, and without her, you'll lose all interest in life. Keep yourself pure until you find that one woman who will become your entire world, and when you find her, give her all of yourself. Hold nothing back, keep no secrets, and do everything in you power to make her happy, safe, and loved. When you find the woman who is your true soul mate, you'll find yourself the richest man in the world even if you're living in poverty.' It seems there might have been more to the talk, but that was all I retained of that particular human memory. It was a memory that had so deeply been buried, that I had forgotten I still had it.

The next memory Aro found began with the pain of being changed. He skipped most of the memories of that painful change, and then he leafed through my memories as he watched Carlisle create our family. He smiled when he came to the memories of Esme and he watched as Carlisle fell in love with her. It seemed to please him that Carlisle had found someone he could love and that loved him back. The day they were married seemed to please him even more because I could hear him whisper, "Good, good."

Three things seemed to occur simultaneously as Aro watched my vampire existence unfold. First, I saw every memory as he encountered it. Second, I could feel his response to what he saw. Third, I could hear his thoughts and feel his reactions as he watched my memories unfold. When he first discovered Carlisle was working as a doctor, he felt amused, but as he witnessed Carlisle dedication to the medical profession and his patients, he was awed by the controlled restraint that he observed.

Aro's talent amazed me. While I could only hear what people were thinking in the present, Aro was able to tap into the memories of a person and pull them forward so he could see them. The first memories he pulled were good memories of Carlisle and Esme, but those pertaining to my rebellious period displeased me. I hated seeing the monster in me drinking from humans; I hated the fact that that same monster had lusted after Bella's blood. Aro, on the other hand, found my rebellious period interesting, but when he saw me return to Carlisle and my vegetarian drinking habits, he was disappointed because I heard 'What a shame' filtering through his mind.

As he continued to watch, he saw the family growing as first Rosalie and then Emmett joined the family and embraced the vegetarian lifestyle. I also noticed he was more attentive to my memories when any of us fell off the vegetarian wagon, so to speak.

Another point of interest to him was the Quileute and our encounter with the tribe the first time we moved to Forks. He watched as we dealt with the tribal leaders and the drawing up of the treaty that was agreed upon between our kind and theirs. Aro made a mental note of the location of the werewolf pack thinking to himself that it might become useful knowledge to him later on.

Aro's thoughts turned to pleasure when he discovered Alice and her special talent. He was almost as pleased with her as he was with me when he first discovered that I heard people thoughts. That was the first bit of information he made a mental note of soon after he witnessed my change. In fact, his first thought about Alice's gift was that she would make a valuable member of his guard; he had thought the same thing when he first discovered my ability. It surprised me, though, that he failed to see the value of Jasper's talent but that may have been because Jasper only used his talent to ease fears, anger, or anguish of others. Since Aro dismissed Jasper's ability, I decided it would be wise to consciously avoid other memories of Jasper's talents. It was bad enough that he desired Alice and I as part of his entourage, I didn't want to encourage him any further.

I began to notice that Aro skimmed through the next years watching events unfold with amazing speed. I had the impression he was trying to update himself on Carlisle's life, and he didn't slow down until that fateful day when Bella first walked into my existence.

Once again, the aroma of her delicious blood filled my senses as she walked into the biology classroom, and my yearning to taste it overwhelmed me. Aro reawakened that first day of torment and all my plans unfolded about how I could take her blood and why I couldn't. I realized Aro was also experiencing all of my desires for Bella's blood because of the slight darkening of his eye coloring, and I heard his mind uttering 'heavenly ambrosia, sweetly divine aroma.' Then Aro frowned as I gave up the chance to taste that which tempted and called to me stronger than anything ever had before.

He skipped over my memories of Alaska and skimmed through my time at school pausing at the day of Bella's near-fatal accident. He watched, as I did, as Tyler's vehicle slid toward Bella and her truck. He sensed my panic that she would be killed and my unthinking race to save her life. Amazement spread across his face as he realized I saved her not for her blood but for the person I was becoming attracted to in a more physical sense.

He watched my memories carefully as my longing for her changed from my desire for her blood to a desire to know her better. He sensed my grief for the distance that separated us, and my fear that she would run screaming from me if I attempted to befriend her, and at the same time, he sensed my unending desire for her blood as its sweet aromatic fragrance filled my senses. He tasted the desire in my mouth, but also experienced the struggled to overcome the desire for her blood. He noticed as the desire slowly changed to a growing desire to be near her, not as prey, but as something much more human.

I lost myself in the memories as he drew upon them and I found myself once more in her room watching her sleep. I re-experienced the first night I heard her murmur my name in her sleep, and I once again felt the jump of my dead heart as I realized she was dreaming about me. Me of all people; the one person she should be avoiding like the plague, and yet, there in all her innocence, she was dreaming about me and calling out my name. The emotions evoked by her voice uttering my name filled me with pleasure and pain at the same time.

As I reacted to my memory, I felt Aro's wonderment that any human could evoke such a response as Bella had evoked in me. His mind, as it wondered through my memory, seemed to recreate my emotions within him. Even as I felt a jolt near my heart, I sensed and felt this same jolt reenacted within him. I realized Aro was not only seeing my memories, but in some cases, he was experiencing the same emotional reactions that I had experienced and was experiencing as he drew these memories to the surface of my mind.

He next drew out the experience in Port Angeles when those vile men tried to attack Bella. All the fear, hatred, and horror at the fact that I had almost lost her a second time, overwhelmed me. A low growled built up in my throat as Aro pulled that memory to the surface, and I sensed a tension in the Volturi around us, but as the growl died so did the tension. Aro was quick to replace the Port Angeles memory with visions of our day in the meadow. Bella's face as she saw me in the sunlight, her expression as she realized I loved her, her smell as I nuzzled her neck, and the sweet taste of her lips as I kissed her all raced through my mind reminding me of what I had willing given up, and had now lost forever. Aro moved on to the time I spent with Bella, the growing love I felt as her chocolate brown eyes looked into mine. The depth of her eyes flowed vividly back into my mind. Once again, even in my memory, I felt myself falling into the depths of her eyes with the feeling that if I fell far enough I would reach her mind and find the answers to all my questions about her, only to find myself falling further and realizing there was no bottom.

My memory then jumped to James' hunt for her and the intense fear I felt about losing her. As if it were happening at that moment, I once again felt the dread when I read her message and the urgency of needing to reach her before it was too late. Then I saw her lying on the floor bleeding while James lunged at her. I felt an inner growl building up at the anger of his violation of her, and the thought of being to late to save her nearly toppled me to my knees, but I felt Aro's grip on my hand tighten as he too felt the despair and grief ripple through my body, mind, and soul. My grief, when I had thought I had lost her forever, caused me to sway, and for one brief instant, as I stepped back to stop myself from collapsing because of the grief, Aro lost his grip on my hand and the memories stopped, but almost as quickly as the contact was lost, he seized my hand and the memories began again.

He watched as I relived the moment when I realized she was still alive, the shock I felt when I discovered James had bitten her, and then the taste of her luscious, sweet blood as I began to suck the venom out of her. Even tainted with James' venom, her blood tasted sweeter than any ambrosia that one could imagine. I sensed Aro tensing up as he too experienced the taste of her blood through my memories, and his surprise that I was able to stop before I took Bella's life.

Throughout all the agonies I experienced about being close to Bella, Aro continued to wonder how it was possible for someone to resist the temptation that Bella's blood awakened in me. He felt the call of her blood as strongly as I did, and I sensed in him a desire to taste her blood just as I had tasted it. His thoughts – his blood lust – were filling me with those monstrous desires, and I willed myself to evoke only memories that helped me resist her blood.

Because of Aro's fixation on Bella's blood and my unwillingness to feed his desire for her blood, I forcefully pushed forward in my memories and skipped the visions of Bella in the hospital as I watched and waited for Bella to regain consciousness. Instead of Aro, I pulled up the next memory. I found myself standing at the bottom of the staircase at home looking up as I watched Bella descend in her prom dress. Bella may have protested Alice's ministrations that day, but the overall result was more breathtaking then even I had imagined. Every curve in her luscious body was accentuated, and I watched breathlessly as my angel glided down the stairs. Even in a cast, I saw only her perfections; I only saw her grace, charm, and beauty. If Aro had wondered how I could possible resist her blood, he should have learned from that memory how deeply I loved her, and that no amount of blood lust could have tempted me to take hers.

As much as I wanted to stay focused on the memory and that moment, Aro pushed forward and ended up on that fateful day that changed everything – Bella's birthday. Maybe I should have consented when Bella pleaded to stay home rather than forcing her to go to our house for the party that Alice had planned. If only Alice had foreseen what was about to happen, maybe things would have been different, but she didn't and they weren't and that was why I was here allowing Aro to touch me and pull out memories that I didn't want to relive.

Once again, I watched as Jasper lunged toward Bella as a drop of blood appeared on her finger. I heard his thoughts; he hungered for her blood, and he didn't plan to allow anything to stop him from taking what he wanted. The anger I felt toward him as his thirst rose up and threatened Bella's life and the hate I felt toward myself for bringing such danger into her life all overwhelmed me. It was at that moment that realized I would bring her nothing but harm and heartache. It was the moment I knew I would have to tear myself away from the only woman I would ever love, so she would be able to resume a normal human life; the normal human life she was meant to live before I interrupted it.

The moment of saying goodbye to Bella replayed itself in my mental visions. I once again experienced the shock I felt as I realized Bella believed the lie I was weaving about not loving her and the look on her face when she said, "You don't want me." It was not even a question for her but a statement of fact. I remember feeling as if I would cave in right then, her acceptance of that comment as a fact tore my heart apart. How could she have believed that, and worse yet, how could I have allowed her to believe that?

I didn't know which was harder to believe – the fact that Bella believed I didn't love her and didn't want her or how quickly she believed the unbelievable. Hadn't I told her how much I loved her? Hadn't I shown her how much I loved her? Yet it took almost no time to persuade her that I didn't love her, and the look on her face when I said, "You're not good for me, Bella," I'll never be able to erase that expression from my mind. It was indelibly imprinted there forever. If I ever had a reason to hate myself, causing her the pain that I saw on her face was all the reason I would ever need. 'Oh Bella, I miss you so much,' my absent heart screamed.

Then I saw her face again, as I did that night, after revealing her pain her face changed. I felt as if I were seeing an empty shell, as if Bella had vacated her body and only an automated voice were responding to my comments. Then, as I rushed away from her, I felt a sense of utter loss while yearning to embrace her and kiss every inch of her body.

The final memory he drew out was my utter despair when I realized that Bella had taken her life, that she no longer graced the world with her presence, and that I could not survive in a world where Bella no longer existed. I had thought that the pain of being changed was unbearable, but the pain that shot through my entire being when it was confirmed that Bella was dead was greater than any pain I had ever experienced before. I had known that my heart went missing the day I left Bella, but at that moment, I had felt it return only to be torn back out and shredded into a million tiny pieces. Each piece of my heart emanated its own pain, which filled my body and crippled me so that the only thought that remained was the desire to end my own existence as quickly as possible.

As suddenly as the memories started, they stopped and I notice Aro taking a step away from me. He stared at me as if trying to understand everything that he had witnessed and felt.