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Chapter 7

Doctor, Doctor

Jax POV

I never used to get this nervous. I never used to be scared. Or maybe I was, but it just happened so often that it was nothing to me. Who knows anymore? I used to get worried about Tara, but not like this. That gave me a sick feeling inside as well as a warm one. Did I trust her enough I knew she'd be okay and be able to handle shit? Or was it the fact that she knew that side of me, the only side back then, from the beginning? Maybe things were different with Scar... And I didn't know how to feel about that.

Tara would never leave me. I'd always love her. She'd always be in my mind and heart. She'd want me to be happy, though, wouldn't she? Isn't that all she ever wanted for me? Fuck. Why did I feel so bad about having feelings for another woman, then? If it was just sex, that'd be a different story. I'd fucked so many broads, hell, I'd fucked Wendy before I tried to off myself. Sex wasn't the problem. The emotions were.

It wasn't that I loved Scarlett, I don't even think I was ready for that. It was the fact that I saw the potential of loving her. That freaked me out. I didn't have that with Tara. I was with her in the start as a childhood relationship that grew into more. I wasn't thinking of a future from the start. Fuck why do I have to feel at all?

I watched as Scarlett scurried around the kitchen to tidy up for the club. She wasn't scared like I was. She was only worried about how shit would affect me, and, God, that made me want her more. She caught me staring and gave me a smirk.

"I'd ask you to help, but I know you'll only get in my way," she teased me. I continued to watch her. I couldn't stop, actually. Scarlett stopped her cleaning and came over to wrap her arms around my neck from behind the chair I was sitting in. "It's gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let them do anything to hurt you or me. Relax, please." She came around to look me in the eyes. Just one look made everything in my head calm.

Sighing, I nodded. She was right, I was getting myself too worked up over all of this. "You got it ready to go, just in case?" I wondered as I tilted my head, signaling towards a drawer in the kitchen. Scar rose her eyebrows before going to grab what I was asking about: her gun. She grinned as she showed me the magazine full of hollow points. "That's my girl. Either stay by it at all times, or tuck it in your waistband. I'm not risking you getting hurt if they turn on me for any reason."

Her face twisted in pain before she shook her head in agreement. Scar knew that if anything happened to me, she had to live. It'd kill me, if I wasn't already dead, if the club hurt me and she didn't survive. Then it would've all been for nothing. Her helping me, the MC coming here, my talks with Chibs. It all was shit if I didn't protect her.

Scarlett's eyes stayed on the gun that she was moving around to examine. I was more than surprised when I found out she had it; I'd found it in that same kitchen drawer when looking for a meat thermometer for her. When I questioned why she had it, her only response was that she ain't no bitch. Valid explanation.

She tucked the .9mm in the back of her pants and came back over to me. She started to massage my shoulders, helping me release tension a bit. "Promise me..." Scar began before drifting off. She cleared her throats before continuing. "Promise me, no matter what, this won't change anything. With us, I mean. I've gotten too attached to you, Jax, and I really don't kn-"

"The only thing that'll change how I feel for you is death," I interrupted her as I craned my next to look her in the eyes. "Even then, I don't really think it'd end. I know it hasn't been years, but, fuck, it feels like it." I let my gaze lock with hers. I wasn't afraid or worried to let her in anymore; I was only afraid to lose her. Scarlett had become my person.

Her eyes lit up a bit while she twisted her lips around to try and avoid a grin. Our eyes stayed on each other in the silence. We made each other so fucking happy, it was ridiculous. She was about to reply when the doorbell rang. They were here. Fuck.

Our stare broke. Our eyes widened. It was time. It had to be done. I still didn't know how the MC would react. Would they hate that I lived? That I lied? That I was living a fucking vanilla ass life? Or would they be happy for me? Fuck, I hope they were.

Scarlett stepped away from me, her eyes flashing to the door, silently asking if she should open it. I nodded; I didn't think I'd be able to bring myself to turn the handle and allow them in her home... In what had become our home.

She walked to the door and reached for the knob, but she quickly pulled her hand back. She'd done so to fluff her hair up real quick and straighten out her shirt. Scar took a deep breath and put on a fake smile before opening that door and changing shit forever.

"Hi, I'm Scarlett! So nice to finally formally meet you and to see you again!" She exclaimed with a fake sense of cheer. It was the same voice she used when she spoke to me in the hospital when she was still only my doctor. I laughed once at the memory before standing up and preparing myself.

Chibs walked through the door first, which made sense. He knew the most about it all. "Ah, it's a pleasure indeed, dear," he replied with his genuine smile. He gave Scar an investigative look that lasted a moment longer than I'd like. They weren't only here to see and talk to me; they were here to study her.

I plastered a smile on my face when I saw Chibs. No words needed to be exchanged for him to immediately hug me. I was glad that he wanted me back in, at least. If none of the others did, I'd be okay with knowing my brother stayed true till the end. That feeling of loyalty was better than the MC as a whole, in my opinion.

Next came Tig. He gave Scar a hug that I knew surprised her, but she didn't let it phase her. She could deal with the creep's creepiness... She really was a keeper. She even hugged back. He, too, looked at her longer than I approved of, but in a much different way than Chibs. Again, creep.

When he approached me, I swallowed hard. He was hurting that there were so many lies surrounding me the last few months. No matter how creepy and off he was, he was a good guy, and that'd never change.

I smiled at him. "Hey, man," I began slowly. Before I could speak again, he pulled me into a tight hug that I instantly returned. "How you been? How's Venus?"

Tig nodded as we pulled apart. "She's good, she's good," he replied. He wouldn't stop looking at me. I was starting to get uncomfortable from it, but I knew this had to be hard. "Sorry, Jax. It's just... I thought you were dead. We all did, for so long. It's hard to see you alive and kickin'." He looked back at the rest of the guys, who entered the house, as the majority of them nodded and sighed.

I let out a mirthless chuckle. This shit was weird to me, too. I made peace. I said my goodbyes. I thought I reached the end. "Well, we can thank this lovely doctor right here," I admitted with a smile. Scar rolled her eyes before coming to sit next to me on the couch. The club followed suit. "Scar's saved my life and made me feel like I had shit to live for again on top of that. I would've never survived these past few months without her, literally." She placed her hand on mine and gave it a squeeze. I felt her tense up and quickly retract when she noticed the guys looking at us quizzically.

Scarlett cleared her throat. "Can I get anyone a beer?" She asked the group. I knew she was uncomfortable, even though she tried to hide it. The fake, cheery Scarlett was her coping mechanism. I had being a dick, she had being happy.

All the guys nodded and she went to fetch the drinks. Part of her just wanted to get away, another part wanted to give us time to talk alone. I appreciated that about her. She knew what I needed and wanted, even for small shit.

"So, kid," Happy began. My head snapped to look at the scary dude. He was still as harsh looking as ever. "What the hell happened? And how can I get me one of those?" He jerked his head towards the kitchen. Obviously, he meant Scar.

I felt my fists begin to clench. I had to stop myself. I couldn't be the guy that was falling for a girl right now. I had to be old me. 100% douche me. So I laughed. "Shit, try to kill yourself and they'll be linin' up to take care of you, to lick your wounds, among other things," I answered with a fake satisfied-looking grin. The guys nodded and laughed along with me, and it made me feel sick. I was turning into some pussy who didn't like to objectify his girl. Great.

Scar walked back into the room while we were still chuckling about her. She smiled like she knew the joke as she gave everyone a beer except herself. "You don't drink, Scarlett?" Wondered Quinn. Dude was always one of my favorites. Real nice, but real tough when you needed him to be. "Oh no, Jax didn't get you pregnant, did he?! That near death experience give him super sperm?!" I almost choked on my beer as the room erupted with laughter again.

I shook my head and tried to catch my breath before attempting to answer. Scar beat me to it, though. "God, no! Nothing like that. I'm on call tonight," she told them with her natural, small smile. Quinn made a noise of realization. "Yeah, so Jax might be out by tonight. Might have to bring home another poor, hurt stray after my shift tonight." She winked at me. It made me wanna laugh and tease her back and kiss her, but I couldn't. I couldn't show that much affection yet.

She was doing good. Letting on we had feelings, but not flat out letting them know what was up. She was staying cool, and I was takin' note, like I'm sure the guys were. I looked over and saw Happy watching her, now, too. I didn't know if he was analyzing her or fantasizing about fuckin' her. I didn't like either.

"I never answered your question, Hap," I said after clearing my throat. His eyes shifted to me and fast. The club was ready for this, and so was I. "I went through with trying to end shit, as you all know. Went and got hit by the truck. However, I fucked up by having the cops so close to me. They got the ambulance quick and got me sent to St. Thomas, where this fine piece of ass worked on me along with a few other docs. Scar had the hard part of stopping the bleeding from my head. Clearly, she succeeded. When I came to, I was a dick at first, but I told her everything after awhile. She got Jarry to keep shit quiet for me until I was on my feet again, which I got no idea why Jarry went through with it, but I ended up being grateful she did. The rest is obvious. Scar took me in, the story broke, you guys found out, and here we are." I shrugged and took a sip of my beer. I noticed all the varied looks on their faces, as well as Scarlett looking down and fidgeting with her hands.

There was silence for awhile. A long while. Everyone shared a moment of eye contact with every other person at some point during that silence. Nobody knew what to say anymore. I knew they still felt betrayed. I knew they were still hurt, even if they did want me back. This shit was not gonna be easy.

Finally, T.O. spoke, "Man, you know I love you. You know we love you. You're our brother." He stared at me dead on. I swallowed hard. "But that shit? Hearin' you were alive this whole damn time? That cut deep, man. That hurt us all. What the fuck changed? How do we know you won't pull some shit again?" All eyes were on me again. All the nerves were back again.

I looked at Scarlett. Instantly I felt a wave of calmness and relief when I saw her eyes and smile. Fuck all the manly bullshit. Fuck all the cold, hard bullshit. My attention turned back to the MC. "This right here. This woman. I don't know what the fuck she did to me, but she made me wanna live again," I quietly confessed. They all looked at each other with a look on my face I had too many times when I thought a man was weak. "That might sound gay. It might make me seem like a bitch. I promise you, it ain't like that. She makes me stronger. You saw how Tara dying changed me. Scar changed me, too. Tara dying, Scar saving me... Maybe both changed me for the better. I'm not the man I was. I won't do that shit again because that's not what I want anymore. Shit has changed, but I'll tell you what's the same... I want my club back. I want it more than anything. But I also want my girl. That's how it was with Tara, that's how it is with Scarlett."

Again, silence. Tig and Chibs shared a long, knowing look. "Aye, we know you're a romantic no matter how hard you try to hide it," Chibs started with a smirk. "But are you still the same lad? We know you're different in a number of ways, but are you still that guy who is going to kill a fucker when he needs to go bye bye? Hm?" The smirk was gone. All there was was a stone cold stare.

"Maybe I should go..." Scarlett stated as she stood. She smiled to the guys and went to leave the living room.

Chibs stopped her. "No. You stay right there, lass," he ordered. I tensed up. Fuck. "You're going to hear this. All of it. You're going to know what shit pot you're gettin' yourself into. You're goin' to know what kinda man Jackie Boy here is. We all are." Annnnd there the smirk was again, but it was different. More devilish and daring. He was testing her.

Scarlett slowly turned around and came back to sit beside me. Her body was stiff and hard. She wouldn't look at me; she wouldn't look at anybody. Her eyes were glued to the wall, and I couldn't blame her.

I sighed. "I'd kill for my club, no question," I answered firmly. It was the truth. Scarlett let out a small, annoyed laugh, one she knew only I could hear. She knew what my answer was going to be. We'd discussed it a million times, and she was understanding, but it still bugged her. She spent her life working on saving people, while I could go and end a life without looking back. "Keep in mind what happened after Tara was murdered, though. I'd kill for my girl, too." Time for me to give the threats and stares. Time for me to push the fuck back.

Tig grinned. "That's my boy!" He exclaimed. "There's the cold Jax I know, even threatenin' us! I love it, man. I say you're in. If I say you're in, Chibs'll say you're in. If Chibs says you're in, the boys will agree. So let's get this over with!" He stood and lifted his beer. He signaled for the rest of us to follow.

The rest of the MC tried to hide their smiles at first, but they eventually joined in with comments of how they missed me and how they were glad to have me back. "There's no guarantee until we meet with the presidents," Chibs reminded us all. "But until then, we're glad to have ya alive again, Jackie! So here's to Jax, and his lovely, lovely doctor lass, Scarlett!" Everybody clinked their beers and drank, except Scar of course. It was finally here. My life was coming back.

I grabbed Scarlett in my arms before giving her a huge kiss. The club all whistled and howled at the sight. I flicked them off and smiled into the kiss. I was falling for this woman hard and fast and I had no idea where the hell it would go, but I didn't care. She was a part of me now.

Scarlett pushed away from me slightly with a smirk. "I really enjoyed meeting you all," she said with a shaky voice. Her eyes locked with mine as she bit her lip. "But I think it's time you got the fuck out of my house. We have something to attend to."

She smashed her face on mine again as the guys all laughed and grabbed their shit. "Sounds good, doll," Tig replied. "We'll be in touch with you guys, so don't fuck too much!" I gave them a thumbs up before hearing the door slam.

My hands roamed Scarlett's body. I wanted to feel every inch of her. I couldn't get enough, and I hope I never had to.

Scarlett POV

Jax ran his hands up and down my back before moving to kiss my neck. I shivered as soon as his lips touched my skin. I wrapped my fingers in his blonde hair and breathed him in. Fuck was I falling for him.

Our lips met again. I fumbled away from him to take my shirt off. Luckily, I wore my good bra today. Jax studied me up and down with a look in his eyes even more hungry that the last time he looked at me like this. "You sure, Scar?" He asked before letting himself kiss me again.

I stopped him before when I wanted to take things slow. But now? All I wanted was him. I wanted his lips, his body, his everything. I slowly reached for him and took his shirt off. My turn to study him. "Oh, I'm sure," I giggled. God he was the most perfect man I'd ever seen. He went at my neck again, but I pulled his face up to look me in the eye. "Jax? Promise me one thing. Don't hold back." Instantly, his eyes got even more devilish.

Before I knew it I was being carried upstairs and being thrown on my bed. Jax hovered above me as he kissed all up and down my body, sending chills through my spine. I hadn't felt that in a long, long time. He ripped off my pants in a flash before doing the same with his. It was all underwear now.

He stared at me for a moment, just taking me all in, and I did the same. He made me feel good about myself again. He wanted me, and that felt damn nice. "Come here," I whispered and signaled for him to get back on me. Jax kissed me hard enough it made me moan. Why the fuck did I hold out before?

Our tongues went head to head with each other for awhile before he bit my lip and pulled away. He moved down my body again, trailing it with little bites and kisses as he went. He pulled my underwear down when he got to it. Jax continued to peck and nibble my thighs before hovering over my crotch area, teasing me by only breathing and kissing around it.

"Fuck.. you.." I breathed heavily. He laughed loudly. I was annoyed and reeling, while he was amused and turned on. He wasn't gonna get away with this shit; he'd pay.

Jax's face was over mine again with a smirk on it. "Darlin', that's exactly what I intend to do," he jeered. We shared another kiss that was so passionate, I almost didn't notice when he entered me. Almost.

He groaned with pleasure and I cried out with it. He didn't even have to move and it felt fucking amazing. It took a minute of adjusting to the unbelievable feeling, but he finally started to thrust. I couldn't believe it. I didn't think sex could feel this good.

I moaned louder than I ever have and dug my nails into Jax's back. "Jesus fuckin'... Ugh!" I screamed as he continued to pound into me. His thrusts got harder and began to hurt a little, but I liked it. I'd never had sex like this in my life. I was here for it.

His hands pressed down on my shoulders with force. I could already feel them starting to bruise just like I could feel the hickies forming on neck. I felt like a teenager again, and it was mind blowing. I flipped Jax over so I was on top. He grinned at me.

"You're so fucking hot," he said while looking up at me riding him. He closed his eyes and let me do the work. I put my hands on his chest and let my body glide on top of his, making us both moan some more. "If you even think about stopping, I swear to God I'll beat your cute ass so hard you won't even fucking recognize it." He looked at me again with those lustful eyes.

Smirking, I stopped. "You promise?" I winked. Jax shook his head and flipped us back over without notice. His pace grew faster and faster as he bit at my neck and shoulders again. I never felt this much euphoria from a combination of pain and pleasure. He hit my gspot hard with a vengeance. My back arched up. "Holy fuck! I swear if you stop now you're dead! Jesus." Thankfully, he wasn't evil like me and didn't dare even try to stop.

We were both groaning, moaning, screaming, panting, all of the above. Jax let his lips touch mine once more before locking his gaze with mine. I couldn't control my face as much as I couldn't look away from his. I felt my mouth gape open and I felt myself bite my lip while I watched him smile and smirk at what he was putting me through.

I watched his face as Jax slowed his movements slightly and moaned. "You just might be the best thing... the best thing that's happened to me," he told me between harsh breaths. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. I gripped his biceps tight as I felt him finish inside me right before I came. He kissed me sweetly and softly. "I mean that. Don't take it as meaningless sex talk." Jax pecked my forehead before rolling off of me.

I cuddled up to his side and let out a deep breath. "Ditto," I agreed. He twirled my hair in his fingers and gave it the usual sniff. I couldn't help but giggle. "Even after sex? Such a dork."

Jax squeezed me tight and told me, "It'll be always. Don't think you're gettin' out of the Jackson Teller hair sniff. It ain't ever going away!" He jokingly grabbed all my hair and brought it to his face. He took a huge breath in before acting like he passed out from the glorious smell.

I laughed so hard I snorted. Jax gasped and went to make fun of me, but I hit him with a pillow to shut him up. "Do not even think about it!" I scolded him. The snort was rare. He should feel lucky he got it! "We're never speaking of this again. Nobody ever snorted after fucking. Nobody ever will. So shut it!" I dove on his chest and placed another kiss on his lips. I'd never get sick of the feeling of him, in any sense.

Jax place his hands in my hair and kissed back. I adjusted myself to lay my entire body on top of him. I let my hands grab his face, like I was trying to pull him closer. Of course, just as things were getting steamy enough to start a round two, my pager went off, and we both groaned.

I broke away from him with a sigh. "I gotta go," I sighed. Jax flashed some big puppy dog eyes and a ginormous frown. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed to get dressed. I looked back and saw him with the same expression on still. "Oh stop! You know I have to go save lives!" I grabbed a pair of underwear and some scrubs out of my drawers. He still stared at me with that face.

I turned away knowing that he was gonna make me wanna jump on him again if he kept it up. I got my pants on and was working on my bra when I felt his arms around my waist and his breath on my neck. "Promise we'll pick this up again when you get back?" Jax questioned with a sultry voice. I leaned back into him when he nibbled my earlobe. "I'm not lettin' you go until you say yes." He rubbed his hands down my arms slowly and ran his fingers along my hips when he got there.

I cleared my throat and stepped away. I finished getting dressed and was putting my hair up when I turned back to him. "Of course we're gonna get back to this," I stated. There's no way I wouldn't. I mean just looking at him? Fuck. I had to get outta there. "I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to stop getting back to this." I ran my index finger up the center of his abs and let our lips crash one more time before finally heading for the door.

"Hey, Scar," Jax called right as I stepped out of the room. I faced him again and raised an eyebrow. "Go be a sexy doctor so we can play sexy doctor when you get home, you sexy doctor you." He laughed at himself as I rolled my eyes and giggled.

I nodded at him. "Will do, dork," I yelled back as I raced down the stairs. The butterflies were going crazy in my stomach by the time I reached the car. Who would've thought I'd ever fall for a patient? Let alone Jax fucking Teller? Being a sexy doctor has its perks.