Super Bowser 64
Chapter 7: Big Boo's Bunt
Disclaimer: Mario and co belong to Nintendo
Bowser, after being bailed out of the last level by Lakitu looking up the controls online, stomp around the castle trying to find a home for the big shiny gold key he now sported.
"Do I need to look up a walk through?" groan the floating cameraman, tired of that message about the key not fitting in the mezzanine door.
Bowser stood before the double doors. "Of course not goggles! If I try it the twentieth time maybe it'll decide to open."
Toad cleared his throat. "Guys? That key actually goes down-"
"Nobody asked you, fungusface! Ghahh! Why isn't it working?!" Bowser beat on the door repeatedly but it never bulged.
"How about some fresh air?" Lakitu suggest, staying back for safety.
Without answer Bowser quit and head through a door he hadn't yet on the ground floor which lead to a long red carpeted corridor. A large semitransparent boo blocked the way which Bowser immediately bared fangs at, but from Lakitu's view point he saw nothing but a red floating coin through his viewfinder.
"Hehehehehe. This is not your home!" the boo cackled.
Bowser rudely barged past. "No one asked you either! Kicking open the back door there were more of the floating, laughing, ethereal little beasts roaming around Peach's quaint little enclosed backyard area. Bowser suppressed a chill.
"W-Whoa!" gasped Lakitu, pulling away from the viewfinder just in time to find himself in the Pumpkin Zone. "Aren't these your soldiers?"
"I wouldn't know if they were. They look too much alike-"
"Rac-"
"Don't you go there! You know what I mean." Bowser stood in the center of the courtyard where the fountain was. "Attention! This is (maybe) your King-!" SPLASH! Something invisible knocked Bowser straight back into the pool and against the 'L is Real' fountain.
"You mean Eternal Star? Ha!" Lakitu was punished for that snarky remark when something unseen knocked the camera out of his hands, forcing him to dive down to catch it in time.
Bowser spat out water. "Which one of ya'll is doing this?! HUH?"
All of the boos stopped the roaming to stare at Bowser with their shifty eyes. A moment later the water Bowser sat in began to boil, being heated up intensely by his rage.
"Forget it. Just hand over those red coins then. I need the stars."
"Neverrrrr!" bellowed the biggest boo in the distance. Their beckoning call threw five boos into a frenzy. They all at once swarmed in on the Koopa King to lift him slowly from the ground. He struggled to no avail as they were intangible to him.
Bowser was carried up and up. "Goggles! Stop dreaming and help!"
Lakitu grabbed his CD holder and tossed a disc he didn't care for at a boo. Metallica's 'LOAD' album smacked him in the back of the head and he disappeared, slowing down Bowser's ascent. Still Bowser was nearing the edge of the wall and they'd surely toss him over into the raging waterfall just outside it! Lakitu threw another cd: 'Reload'.
"Keep your stupid metal to yourself!" Bowser shut up when that second cd knocked out yet another boo with their back turned. Lakitu got distracted when some other boos started to head for him. Soon Lakitu was in a tug o war match with boos trying to grab his camera while the big boo stood back as coach. With this going on Bowser used his brain (for once.) "Hey ya'll," he said quickly. "It's Queen Boo over there!"
One of the boos holding him gasped. "Where?" He and the other three all turned around, allowing Bowser to knock them out. They disappeared in a cloud of smoke and he was safe. Or not. Down he plummeted right on top of the big boo's head! There was more smoke as the remaining boos shriek and disappear. All was left was Bowser laying flat on his back.
"Are you okay?"
Bowser abruptly lean up. "Nope! Oww! What is this?!" Impaled on his butt from the impact was a small little music box. Slowly it crank itself in his hand, or so he thought. Next he knew his world went black.
…
Bowser was in a dark place… well, in a different way than usual. His back popped when he got up and took a gander around. It was nearly pitch black but what he could make out was a tall cage like wall surrounding the outer edges of the stage along with a medium sized brick mansion ahead, lit up slightly by the dim lanterns posted outside it's doors. With a sigh Bowser head there, he was getting use to the program after all.
'Game in progress. Meet in basement. B.B,' said the tattered paper. When Bowser ripped it from the door with a curious look he realized that it was antiquated.
"I should Google how old this is. Wait. I don't care!"
"Cut that out, goggles! Where else are we gonna go if the house is locked?!"
Lakitu spun his night vision camera around, spotting a cabin around back. The door creaked when it was gently pushed open allowing old mildew smells to make Bowser's eye water.
"Who goes there?" The radiant blue iris of the inquiring creature lit up before releasing a laser beam. Bowser narrowly got out of the way as it struck the door, breaking it in two. "Bwa ha ha ha!" went the floating eyeball. It spun around again to face where Bowser fled to, but could only find his camera guy. Lakitu waved and the confused monster sat still just in time for Bowser's flame breath to envelop it from behind. He was reduced to a blue coin that his attacker happily picked up.
"Great. I don't know who that eyeball thing was but now we just need 96 more coins."
"95. You can't count."
Bowser flushed. "Shut it, goggles!"
Elsewhere Booligan signaled a two but boos lacked fingers so every call for a fast ball, curve ball, screw ball, or fake out seemed identical. Why were they bothering? What ever ball was being pitched went right through the batter. Literally.
"Out! Change!" The catcher muttered. "… Calm down. You can't bat a one hundred every game," he added as Big Boo at the plate beat his bat repeatedly into the ground in rage. A small boo slowly floated up with the scoreboard, sweat pouring off of them in buckets practically.
"S-so this means the Boolicious Battlers now tie with the B.B Champs?" This announcement result in a collective groan from all the players on field. Suddenly they heard the elevator in the distance then the background music stopped.
"Who halt my masterpiece?" exclaim Bootoven, the right fielder boo with a powdered wig on.
"Me, losers!" Bowser entered the room everyone was in, a circular hall with old wooden floors and dust marks from the objects that had been cleared out of the way to host a 'baseball' game. "Now, give me your stars. Don't be shy!"
But he was ignored as a burly boo named Bock step up to the plate to bat. Big Boo was now the pitcher and threw a curve ball that curved.. right into Lakitu. CRASH! There went the sound of expensive equipment being destroyed, plus a cameraman shrieking.
The catcher, Bational only gave it a second's thought. He was average in every way save for his always tensed brow, made to be that way from his fellow boo's constant idiocy. "Walk."
Boo scanned over the score card again. "So if Bock goes there then Butler goes here...Boomerang makes home and-"
"Idiot just look at what's going on. And who has the ball?! They're gonna cross the home plate!" Big Boo shout as the runners were running (floating) past first, second, third, and finally home. He finally located the ball right at Bowser's stinky feet (who was yawning and refusing to get involved) and struck the last boo out. The inning was almost over, still stuck at a tie.
"Oh, I got it," said Boo, smiling weakly. "Boolicious battlers are 424,828 to B.B Champ's 424,828! Uh… did I do good?"
With a growl Big Boo flung the ball their way but it missed and knocked Bootoven out with his powdered wig flying. Bowser finally had enough.
"I don't know what you're playing but it ain't baseball. Do you all have stars or not?"
Bational sighed as he took off his catchers mask. "We do but no one will ever see it because there's only two outs and the remaining Boolicious Battlers are too tired to swing. You've messed our entire century long game up."
Bowser noticed the surviving team who looked like indistinguishable boos and not tired, but who was he to judge? "No way! What if I'm the relief? I got good stats in the games ya know."
Before Bational or any others could have a say, Big Boo got in Bowser's face, towering over him even more than the boo at Peach's back yard did. "Deal, shorty. Try not to choke, hehe."
Now Bowser was a Boolicious Battler, or batter rather. (But he'd happily be both.) He step up to plate with his own oversized spiky bat while Big Boo smugly smiled up there. Bowser tightened his grip as the boo's arm wind up. A second later the ball seemingly materialized in the catcher's glove.
"Strike one."
Bowser focused hard but this time the ball was only a fleeting speck zooming past him before he'd had a chance to react. His brain churned for an idea and by some miracle he'd found one.
"Strike two."
"Get this one past me, freak." Bowser chuckled darkly when the third ball at maximum velocity head right down the plate-
Bop! With a hallow noise it bounced off of his bat and rolled on the field, aided in momentum by the uneven floorboards, out into center field right past Big Boo's shocked stupid face, past the boos in the outfield with the same expression, and against the wall on the edge of the room. From here it made it's rebound past the outfield boos still frozen, past Big Boo, past-
"What the heck was that?!"
"A bunt," Bowser answered, confidently stepping off of home plate after he'd picked up only a mild sweat during his sprint. "Oh, and an in-field home run, suckers! That's the 'Bowser Monsters' style. Get on my level, fatty!"
Big Boo's entire face tinged red. "No flipping way. We've been playing since forever. You can't turn your bat sideways and.. just.."
"Maybe that's your problem. The game's changed. Pay my goods up!"
"Arrg! Never come back!" Big Boo bark. With a wave of the hand a shining star appeared near the passageway in. Bowser instinctively reached up for a high five for no one to be there. His camera guy was still off in the corner putting his equipment back together. "Goggles?!" Bowser said, coming up as the boos began to murmur in the background about something. "You missed me being awesome. What's wrong?"
Lakitu looked up in desperation. "My stuff is toast and the spares are back in the castle. Even my phone got totaled."
"….Wait. So… we don't know how to get out of this level either!?"
Big Boo and some of the others boos on his team overheard that gave Bowser a funny look, licking their lips.
"He he he, don't have your technology? I hope you can make it out of here ALIVE!" His words echoed as the lights dim. Bowser's hair began to stand up as he backed against the wall.
"Psst. Over here!" said a boo near the entrance. It was the scorecard boo. Bowser could tell by the way they looked unusually like a dork, but then again they were saving Bowser's clueless behind so he wouldn't judge!
"Alright. Now what?" Bowser asked as he heard the collective cackles of boos getting closer in the darkness.
"If you hug the wall to the right and go into the water you'll find the elevator, hehe," said the little boo. "Oh, and tell Luigi I asked about him!"
Bowser gave one last look behind. "Yeah, I do that random thing. Thanks whoever you are. Ya seem familiar but, never mind..."
To be continued.
Created: 12/21/18, 12/25
Author note: No, this story didn't go away as I been handwriting it since early November of this year and with me working on finishing up other stories I never got around to retyping it up on my computer until now.
