The Love Boat
Obsmama, Maxandmo, Carenl, Mtneer05 and GeekChic12 make the Love Boat float.
Chapter 7 Sarong
The equipment in the business center worked perfectly, even if it was going to cost me a fortune. Everything in the meeting wrapped up nicely, which meant I wouldn't have any more work obligations for the rest of the trip.
The ship was nearly deserted, so I took the opportunity to explore a little. I played some blackjack in the casino; then I headed to one of the top decks that had a full sports court, rock-climbing wall, mini-golf and a FlowRider surf simulator. There were a few staff members and maybe five or six couples milling around, but other than that, it was empty.
I kept contemplating the FlowRider. The tech standing near the gate saw me looking at the rushing water and came to stand next to me at the railing, introducing himself as Joham. He told me the water rushes uphill at about thirty miles per hour and was like an unending wave. It took a little bit of practice, but other than that, there was no special skill or training needed. With so few people around, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get the hang of it without the whole ship watching me fall on my ass.
"So, you wanna ride?"
"I'm thinking about it," I replied, trying to sound cool.
He smiled at me and tilted his head, looking me up and down. "It's no problem for a young, fit guy like you."
I was taken a little aback by his perusal of me. I shook it off, attributing his over friendliness to boredom. "No problem, huh?"
"You can have it any way you want. It's easiest if you just lie there, a little more fun on your knees, but I have to say it's much harder when you do it standing up," he said to me with a wink. A wink...he fucking winked at me. Then he added, "I have a feeling you like it really…hard. Is that how you want it?"
"I'm not really sure," I said, a little shocked, wringing the back of my neck. I was thinking this was definitely more than friendly.
"Come on," he enticed. "I'll be fun. I'll start you out on your belly, and we'll see how it goes from there."
"Okay, let me run back to my cabin and change into my swim trunks." I smiled, glad I could think of a way to escape the awkward conversation.
"All water attractions are clothing optional. You could just undress and hop on," he said, raising his eyebrow.
"What—" I shook my head, trying to clear the confusion out of it. I decided to play it off and hoped he'd get the hint. "Dude, you just told me that water rushes up at thirty miles per hour. There's no way I'm voluntarily letting thirty mile per hour jets of water anywhere near ass, sack, or sword."
"Sword?" he repeated quietly, with a low, appreciative whimper.
My eyes shot up to his, and I took a half a step back to create some distance. Why did everyone on this cruise think I was gay? "Yeah," I chuckled. "I'm pretty sure my wife would be pissed off if it was out of commission for the rest of the cruise."
I thought if I could play it off as a joke, he'd get that I wasn't gay and we could avoid any more awkwardness. And I still wanted to try the FlowRider. I hoped once he realized I wasn't interested, he'd think I was oblivious to his flirting and he would slip back into his more professional character.
Joham looked at the ground and then brought his eyes back up to meet mine. "Look," he said, wetting his lips. "This isn't the first Swinging on a Star takeover I've worked. I know how things go down with you people."
"You people?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. I realized he assumed we were swingers, but I was still confused about how "things went down" with "us people."
He leaned into me, much closer than I was comfortable with, and whispered, "Your wife can come too. I don't mind a 'V' as long as you are the hinge."
Did he just suggest a three-way with Bella and me? No way this dude was touching Bella. And what the hell is a 'hinge?'
He must have sensed my panic, because he straightened up and looked a little baffled.
"Joham, we both signed a behavioral conduct document, swearing that the staff was off limits," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, certain that I had delivered the ultimate argument.
He threw his head back with laughter and then put his hand on my arm. "This is your first Swinging on a Star event, isn't it?"
I looked between his hand on my arm and his face in confusion.
"Put it this way," he said, still laughing. "'Don't ask, don't tell' is alive and well at Swinging on a Star takeovers."
I pulled my arm away from his grasp. Why didn't he understand? Couldn't he take a 'no?' And then I realized, I never actually said it. This situation was the same as dinner last night. When people expected you to be in this lifestyle, subtlety didn't work. They thought it was a coy game.
"No."
"No?" Joham asked, clearly confused.
"No, I'm not interested. And neither is my wife. You keep your hands off her," I warned gruffly.
"I wouldn't touch your wife with a ten foot pole, let alone my pole!"
What the hell? Bella was beautiful. Every man wants her. He was starting to piss me off. "What's wrong with my wife?"
"Mostly, she doesn't have a dick," he said angrily, crossing his arms over his chest. "I told you, you would have the hinge!"
And that's when it started to click for me. "Oh, so a hinge…?" I asked, relaxing my stance and dropping my arms.
"You play with me, I most certainly play with you. You can play with her, she can play with you. I don't play with her, and she doesn't touch me," he explained flatly, dropping his arms too.
I nodded in understanding.
"How new at this are you?"
"Really new," I confirmed.
"There are some kiosks in the promenade brought aboard specifically to cater to the 'lifestyle;' you should find some literature that can help you figure out some of these terms and a little bit about the lifestyle culture. Otherwise, they're going to eat you alive, dude."
"Thanks," I replied sincerely, a little touched that he seemed to have completely switched from Don Juan to lifestyle advocate in an instant.
"No problem. You let me know if you change your mind about a 'play date' though," he said with a wink.
I chuckled. "Yeah, I'll do that."
We stood in awkward silence for a moment before I accepted there really was no graceful way to exit. "Yeah, so I'm going to go check out those kiosks now," I said, jerking my thumb over my shoulder toward the elevators.
I heard his boisterous laughter as I turned and walked away.
The "lifestyle" kiosks were definitely eye opening. I was impressed at how passionate the vendors were about both their products and the lifestyle itself. Even within the "swinger" community, a whole spectrum of other "sex positive" subcultures existed that covered pretty much everything except "vanilla."
I purchased a couple of things and picked up a few pieces of literature that I thought would help Bella and I navigate the "lifestyle" for the remainder of the cruise and was headed back to the cabin when I saw Jasper barreling down the hall.
"Edward," he said, with a mixture of relief and panic in his voice.
"Jasper, dude, what the fuck did you do to your hair?" I asked, pointing at his head full of beaded braids.
"Oh," he said, skimming his hands over the bumpy, blond rows on his head. "I'm embracing the island."
I just stared at him. I never understood how he could get away with his chin-length hair with his corporate job in the first place. With his blond hair, his new corn rows actually looked like corn.
"Like 'em?" he asked, shaking his head. The beads knocked together, and Jasper swore loudly when one caught his eye. "That hurt, man," he whined, rubbing his eyelid.
"Oh yeah dude, they go great with your black socks and sandals," I laughed, pointing at his feet. There's no way I could ever get away with shit like that, but with Jasper, everyone humored him like he was the coolest thing since air conditioning.
"Screw you, dude, I don't like sand between my toes."
I laughed. One of the best things about Jasper was he gave shit as well as he got it.
"What are you doing back so soon? I thought you and Alice were planning on staying on the beach until they dragged her away."
"Yeah, well, I'm looking for Bella. Have you seen her?"
"No, I haven't. I thought she was planning to go ashore with you," I said, confused as I remembered the slight panic in his voice when he first saw me.
"She did, and she was supposed to meet up with us after snorkeling, but she never showed."
"Is she still in the water? Did you check with the dive master?"
"Yeah, well the Snorkel Shack said she turned her gear in about fifteen minutes after she got it, but she never showed up at our rendezvous spot."
"Rendezvous spot? Maybe that's why she didn't show. Did you really call it a rendezvous spot?" I asked, trying to create a little levity. Jasper was not amused.
"Come on Jasper, chill out. She's an adult. We know she turned in her gear, so we don't have to worry about her having some accident in the water."
"But this is not like her. Bella always shows up where she says she's going to. And it's been hours since she turned her gear in. Alice is freaked out."
"Okay," I sighed as I raked my hand though my hair. "Where's Alice now?"
"She won't leave the rendezv—meeting spot. I came back here to see if Bella returned to the cabin or something. "
"Let's check." I opened our door. The room was even emptier than when we'd left because housekeeping had been in and taken away the mattress pad as we requested. "She's not here," I said, stating the obvious. "Let's go down to the front desk and see if she's checked back on to the ship."
"I tried that; they wouldn't give me any information."
"Yeah, but I'm her husband," I responded confidently, putting my hand on my chest.
"What?"
"Yeah, when we checked in, they assumed we were married. They think we're newlyweds."
As soon as we got within Alice's sight, she ran up to us. "Did you find her?"
"No, but we think we know where she is."
"Where?"
"Well, according to the SeaKey system, she hasn't re-boarded the ship. And there was a charge to her SeaKey at the Tiki Hut Bar and Grill about a half hour ago," Jasper reported.
"We're going to head there together, and if she's not there, we'll split up and meet here in an hour. Are you okay waiting here?" I asked. I had a feeling Alice would want to come, but I was a little worried about Alice's temper when we found Bella. Even more than that, I was worried about her reaction if we didn't find her. Also, in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was Bella's way of punishing Alice for her outburst yesterday afternoon.
"Wait…" Alice started to argue, but I cut her off.
"We really need someone to stay here in case she comes back."
"Fine," Alice said with a pout, putting her hands on her hips. She huffed as she sat down on the chaise and pointed to the cluster of buildings beyond the beach and commanded, "Go find my best friend."
On the way to the Tiki Hut, I questioned Jasper about why Bella might not want to meet up with them, but he couldn't think of any reason. He said they had all enjoyed the ride to the island, and Bella was excited to snorkel around the sunken ship in the cove.
In my head, I started strategizing how we should split up to maximize our search effort and wondering how long we should go on our own before contacting the authorities if she wasn't at the bar. Even though I told Jasper that we shouldn't worry because Bella was an adult, I was still alarmed. She turned in her gear, so I hoped that meant she wasn't in the water. But, even on land, I was worried for her safety because she had that sweet innocence thing going that made every degenerate asshole on this ship want her.
Maybe I was just absorbing Jasper and Alice's anxiety, but I felt protective of her, and my hackles were definitely up. It was all I could do to keep myself from alerting the authorities and demanding a search grid be established.
We followed the boardwalk off the beach and through the carefully planned tropical vegetation. The Tiki Hut Bar was open on three sides, with round tables scattered under the faux-thatched roof. The place was deserted, except for a single server behind the bar, and a pretty, little brunette playing with a retractable badge reel.
"Thank goodness," Jasper sighed as he started up the steps.
As we approached the bar, it was clear that Bella was three sheets to the wind.
Drunk Bella was funny and a little handsy. She leaned against my shoulder and brushed her fingers over my cheek and chest. More than once, I had to re-steady her on the stool.
Though, it did make me wonder how Bella would have gotten back to the ship if we hadn't found her. I didn't even want to think what might have happened if someone like Mike, from the dining room, would have taken advantage of her overly friendly state.
I would have never thought Bella could make Jasper blush, but seeing it was almost funny enough to make me forget the thought of my baby cousin having "hot monkey sex." Their entire conversation was a silly back and forth that showed how much they cared for one another. They were almost like brother and sister, and I understood his need to warn me against hurting Bella a little bit more.
Once Jasper left, Bella got even more flirty. It took all of my control not to give in to her. I wanted to kiss her when she looked up at me through her lashes. My fingers twitched when she offered to let me check for more straws in her "old lady pockets," which seemed to be code for her bra-top thingy. And hell yes, I wanted her cherry, and I wanted to show her how not little my sword was. But there was no way I was going to take advantage of her.
When I finally convinced Bella to head back to the boat with me, she could barely walk. I wanted to go back and tear her "new friend, Paolo" apart, but I had a feeling she would have face planted on the floor before I could even reach the bar. So, I pulled her in my arms and carried her out of the bar.
She molded to my body and wrapped her arms around my neck. I felt relief that she was safe in my arms and not floating in the water or being led away by some creep who would do god knew what to her.
When I noticed how small she looked in my arms, the caveman part of my brain engaged, proud that he was protecting his woman. I wanted to take her to my cave and keep everyone and everything away from her.
I carried her out into the bright sunshine, and Bella snuggled into my shoulder, taking a deep breath as she settled and started playing with the hair at the base of my neck. She looked at me, slowly blinking her heavy eyelids, like I was her entire world. I wanted that moment to last forever.
I was yanked from the moment when she poked me in the eye with the arm of my sunglasses trying to put them on my face. I winced, wanting so badly to rub my eye, but I couldn't because I was still carrying Bella. She gave me that brilliant smile I usually got when I winked at her. I didn't have the heart to tell her she'd just maimed me, so I just quietly thanked her for thinking to put them on in the first place.
Just as we turned onto the wooden planked path to the tender dock, we were stopped by two uniformed cruise line employees.
"Does she need medical attention?" The taller one asked.
"Nope, we're fine," I said, twisting slightly so Bella and I would fit though the narrow space between them.
"Then why are you carrying her?" he asked in an accusatory way.
I stood up a little straighter with Bella still in my arms. I was getting ready to tell the dickhead off when Bella giggled and lifted her head to explain, "Cause he's my hero. Aren't you?" She touched my nose and smiled, turning her face to the dickhead. "And I'm a little bit tipsy. He's my Super Eddie-Pasketti… Spa-skettis. You know…those long skinny noodles?" She pantomimed something that I guess was supposed to be spaghetti, and laughed at herself, throwing her head back with enough force that I almost dropped her.
"Bella, I'm going to set you down. Okay?" I set her on her feet as gently as I could before she flailed in my arms anymore. She wobbled and leaned heavily on me.
The dickhead had the nerve to ogle her tits. I cleared my throat and took half a step toward him.
His eyes snapped to mine. "Sir, may I see your SeaKey?"
As I reached for my SeaKey in my back pocket, the non-dickhead worker gently pulled Bella away by her elbow and led her a short distance away. I shot him a nasty glare, but he quietly told me he was just going to make sure she was okay and for some reason, I trusted him, unlike the asshole in front of me. He continued to hold onto her elbow for balance as she swayed and spoke with him.
Dickhead cleared his throat. "Sir, your card?"
I handed it to him roughly. He examined it, calling out to his partner, "Cullen, six-twenty."
The other man took his attention from Bella's rambling for a moment to nod back to us pointedly.
"Don't tell him," Bella said, pointing at me. "But I'm a wee bit more than tipsy. I don't want him to think I'm a lush. You don't think I'm a lush do you? Cause I don't usually drink. I'm a good girl. I teach kindergarten." She gasped loudly, covering her mouth with both hands. "But I'm not telling you where in Florida I teach," she told him, exaggerating the 'Florida' with a confident nod.
Dickhead's voice drew my attention back to him, and I glared at him angrily.
"I'm sorry Mister Cullen, but it's protocol. I'm sure you appreciate our concern for her safety."
"What? Are you fucking serious?"
"Please don't swear at me, Mister Cullen."
I clenched my jaw. "She wouldn't be in this condition if you'd have cut her off in the bar."
The little pencil-neck ignored my complaint. "We'd be happy to provide a wheelchair to assist you in getting her back to the boat."
"We'll be fine," I huffed, walking the short distance to Bella.
"Edward," she cheered excitedly. "Come meet my new friend, Joe. This island has lots of nice people."
I smiled at Joe and then Bella. The booze had relaxed her entire face, and even though she looked goofy as hell, she was still beautiful.
"Goodbye, Joe," I said as I wrapped my arm back around her waist.
"Goodbye. I hope you enjoy the rest of your voyage, Mrs. Cullen."
Bella's smile brightened even more as she looked up at me from where her head rested on my shoulder. "He called me Misses Cullen." Her voice had a dreamy quality to it. "I used to write 'Isabella Marie Cullen' on my notebooks in high school. Never hyphenated. Nope. I thought about changing my middle name to Swan for a little while, but then I'd be 'I. S. Cullen' and that just sounds like bad grammar." She scrunched up her nose at the thought. "Did you know I am, I. M. Swan?"
"No, I guess I always thought of you as Bella. Or Belly-bean," I said with a wink.
I wondered if it was the rum specifically, or any alcohol that made Bella spill her secrets. I was pretty sure she'd regret telling me she liked the silly nickname I had for her, but I was certain she would never have told me she used to doodle my name all over her Lisa Frank notebooks.
"Aww, you always thought of me. You're so sweet." She patted my cheek.
We walked a couple of steps, but even leaning against me, Bella stumbled a lot.
"Bella, are you sure you can walk?" I tightened the arm that circled her waist.
"That wasn't because I'm drunk. It was because of these flip-flops," she said, pointing to the spot where she'd last tripped over nothing.
"It is! Watch, I'll show you." She bent down and began pulling at the toes of her flip-flops, while still standing on them. I loosely held her hips so she didn't fall over. Her eyebrows furrowed together in frustration as she tried repeatedly to lift one foot, but she never could quite get it off the ground.
Bella straightened up suddenly, wobbling in place. The initial panic on her face was quickly replaced with excitement.
She bent back down to touch her toes, then shot back up. I stepped back because her arms swung so wildly.
"This is fun, Edward. You should try it."
She continued bending over and quickly standing back upright, teetering each time, but the quick changes in direction seemed to be keeping her from falling.
"It's like I'm one of those little glass birds with the red stuff in their butts that drink water."
I chuckled, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "A dippy bird?"
"Hey!" She jolted to a standing position and put her angry little fists on her hips. I reflexively reached for her when she looked like she was going to topple backwards. She lurched forward, crashing into my chest before taking half a step back. "Don't call me that!"
She looked at our hands resting on her hip, so near, yet not touching. Her eyes fixated on her own hand as she unfurled her fist, and brushed past my wrist to stroke my forearms. Her hands on me felt amazing, but the way she blushed and the little breathy sounds she made as she watched, made me want to throw her over my shoulder and find one of those "designated play areas" they announced on the tender ride to the island.
My thumbs almost reflexively traced circles into her hips, and I nudged her closer.
Her eyes flew to mine, and I saw the lust in them for just a moment, before they flashed with ire. Her eyebrows knitted together, and she tilted her head. "Just because you're all perfect with sexy arms with just the right amount of hairs, doesn't mean you can call me names!"
"I have sexy arms? With the perfect amount of hair?" I might have smirked.
"Uh-huh," she nodded, and looked back to my arm and started playing with a few hairs. "You're like all man-hairy, but not monkey-man hairy."
"I'm less hairy than a monkey-man? Good to know." I smiled wryly, trying to hold back a chuckle.
Her eyes twinkled with her smile as she nodded emphatically.
"Why do we always talk about monkeys?"
I laughed and shook my head. I'll bet her attention span rivaled that of her class hyped up on birthday cupcakes. "You're the one who keeps bringing up monkeys, Belly-bean."
Bella leaned away from me, and her eyes widened. She brought her hand up to point at my nose. "Now, I 'member…I'm mad at you!" Her eyebrows furrowed. "You called me a dippy bird. That's not nice. I may be a teeny, tinsy bit tipsy, but I'm not dippy!"
I tried to hold back my laughter, because I could tell she really thought I called her 'dippy.' I wiggled her hips slightly, making her shimmy. "Not you, silly Swan. Those drinking birds, they're called 'dippy birds.'"
"Oh," she said, swinging her shoulders back and forth like I had her hips. "Sorry."
I brought one hand to her shoulder to still her swaying. "I think you might be a little bit past tipsy, don't you?"
"Nah-uh. I know because just before you found me, I gave myself a field sobriety test. My dad is a cop." She nodded and slammed her finger at my chest before tapping it on her temple. "So I know how to do 'em."
My hands slid down her body, dipping a bit lower before returning to her waist.
"You want me to say my ACB's? I can't say them backwards, but I can't do that sober either."
I felt one side of my smile lift even higher. She didn't even notice that she'd already said them out of order.
"A C B D, E F G…"
"You can't sing, Bella."
"What?" She stomped her foot. "I thought you were nice! Now you're making fun of my singing. I didn't make fun of your ugly shirt!"
"You called me gay!"
"There is nothing wrong with being gay, Edward. Some people are born that way." She patted my shoulder, doing a crappy job of hiding how funny she thought she was.
I took off my sunglasses and tucked them in the collar of my shirt so she could see my eyes. I raised my eyebrows, and my eyes bored into hers. "Not me."
"I remember," she said, in a low husky voice. Biting her lip, she glanced down at my fly, and then looked back at up at me through her eyelashes.
Holy fuck. She just checked out my dick. She slowly raised her chin so that she could look into my eyes, unobstructed by her thick lashes. Even lost in her lustful gaze, I could see her cheeks burn crimson. I felt her breathing increase against my lips and her hand stroked my bicep to the same increasing rhythm.
"Edward," she whispered, as her hand moved across my shoulder and down my chest. She let a little moan slip out, but never broke eye contact as she turned her wrist and firmly gripped my now fully hard cock.
We were still on the beach. She was still drunk. I shook my head, trying to clear it.
"Bella," I warned. She seemed to snap out of it too and looked at me expectantly.
Bella's hand gently squeezed my cock and I wanted her to do it again, only harder. Every part of me wanted to beg for more, except for this one little glimmer of conscience that kept telling me it would be wrong to let her continue when she was this drunk.
I took a step back, holding her in place by her shoulders and breaking her connection with my crotch.
Shit, what in the hell were we talking about before that? Field sobriety test, that's right. She's drunk. I can't have her like this.
I shook my head again, still trying to focus.
"I meant, you can't sing your ABC's in a field sobriety test. You have to say them without singing them."
"Who in the heck can say them without singing? That's just crazy!" She tilted her head and shrugged one shoulder playfully. "How do you know? Is your dad a cop? No? I didn't think so."
I titled my head to match hers. "No, but I've seen plenty of episodes of Cops."
"Oh." She crossed her arms over her chest, sounding a little defeated before excitement flashed in her eyes. "I know what I can do! Watch this!"
She took a step back so that she was no longer in my arms and raised her arms to form a large letter "T." She closed her eyes and started to move her head backwards.
"I don't think this is a good idea."
"Shhh. Watch."
Bella fisted her hands, with just her pointer fingers sticking out, started to bring them toward her face. Time slowed down, and I watched in slow motion as she tipped further and further to the side. I quickly covered the distance between us, pulling her back into my arms.
She winced, bracing for the fall that never came. Her eyes opened and she threw her arms around my neck.
"My hero, you saved me!"
"Uh-huh," I agreed. As cute as she was, I was starting to wonder if we were ever going to make it to the tender boat. "So can we agree you're pretty much hammered?"
"That's what she said." She burst into laughter.
I chuckled, mostly at her laughing at her own joke.
Bella's fists went back to her hips. "Why didn't you laugh and high five me like you do Jasper?"
"You didn't do it right, Sweetie. But, points for effort," I said with a wink.
"I don't want your loser points," she pouted. "Okay, maybe I'm a lil bit drunk. But it's these damn flip-flops' fault I can't walk!" She sat down right in the middle of the walkway.
"What the hell are you doing, Bella?"
"I still can't get these off!" She pulled at the toes of her sandals, nearly falling backwards when she lost her grip.
"Here, you do it!" She rested on her elbows and flung a foot straight in the air at me. I wrapped my hand around her ankle but was distracted by the sight of her bare thigh when her skirt pooled around her bottom.
"Ed-hed-ed-waard," she cooed, wiggling her foot for attention.
"Oh. Yeah." I shook my head to clear it for the thousandth time since I met her at the bar. I refocused on her foot, where she had her toes curled, binding them between the foam and straps. It easily slipped off as soon as I straightened her toes. I couldn't resist sliding my hand down her smooth, soft calf before letting it drop.
Bella raised her other leg for the same treatment. I absentmindedly traced the contours of her ankle as my eyes drifted down her inner thigh.
A feminine, Midwestern accent pulled me from my thoughts. "Oh, I can't wait to see where this goes."
My head snapped up, the water, the beach, and the plank path suddenly in focus. I looked down at Bella, still leaning on her elbows, with her skirt bunched at her waist and her foot in my hands. I quickly took her flip-flop off and pulled her into a standing position.
Bella swayed a bit but recovered, turning to me with a smug smile. "See I told you it was the flippy-flops!"
"We've been watching you," the lady said, drawing my attention back to her.
The attractive brunette's hair was big enough to compare to my mom's prom picture, but she didn't look nearly as old as my mom. She wore a sheer, oversized beach cover-up but nothing underneath. Even through the gauzy material, I could see the curves of her tan, lithe body. Her husband was standing behind her, and from what I could see that wasn't blocked by his wife, he was wearing nothing at all.
"Tina, Love, don't scare them," he admonished. "Hi, we're the Fuchs." He reached around his wife to offer his hand.
I raised my hand to meet his, even though the formal greeting seemed out of place coming from a naked man. Before he could reach for Bella's hand, she burst out laughing.
"Seriously?" she asked between snorts.
The couple looked at each other in confusion before looking back to Bella.
"Are those 'code names?'"
Tina shrugged. "No, those are our real names. Well, MF is kind of a nick name for this one," she added, pointing her thumb over her shoulder.
"MF for Matthew Fuchs," he explained.
"Yeah, let's go with that, MF'er, 'MF' stands for Matthew Fuchs," she said, side-eying her husband with a wry smile.
Bella's laughter grew, and she had to put a hand on my chest to help her balance as she doubled over.
"Okay. You guys are swingers, right?"
They nodded their heads.
"And your name —" Bella was having trouble speaking between her peals of laughter, "—your name is Tinaloves fucks?"
I caught Bella by the elbow just as she started to fall with another round of laughter.
"I really do love a good fuck," Tina replied. "But it's pronounced Foo-ks. It's German for fox."
"You're foo-king kidding me." Bella managed to keep a straight face for about three seconds before Tina and Matthew's chortles got to her, and she started laughing again.
"Hi, I'm Edward; this is Bella. She's a little feisty when she's been drinking."
"I'm not drunk. I'm just a lil' tipsy!"
"It's okay," Tina said, fluttering her eyelashes at me before turning to Bella and cooing, "I always find a great orgasm is an excellent way to sober up."
She shifted a bit, running her finger along MF's defined, tanned chest and down to cup his junk, hidden behind her hip. "And this MF'er is built to please."
As she squeezed him, Matthew threw his arm around Tina's shoulder, and slipped his hand in the neckline of her cover-up, groping her tit while growling and nipping at her ear. His eyes met mine, and I expected them to be angry for staring, but he gave me the Joey Tribbiani head nod and then started to ogle Bella. The entire time the MF'er was sucking on her ear, he was eyeing Bella, while Tina was staring at me.
I wanted to pull Bella behind me to keep him from looking at her. Or maybe give her my shirt to wear, so he couldn't look at her chest while he was fondling his wife's, but Bella spoke up before I could.
"Interesting, because Edward has never given me an orgasm," Bella said, completely serious.
Tina smiled like Bella was joking. I saw Bella's shoulders tighten as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned a bit closer to her. "It's true," she said, glancing at me and wetting her lips. "Not a single one."
"Then you should definitely come back to our cabana with us," Tina whispered, brushing Bella's cheek with the backs of her fingers. I was a little shocked and a lot turned on when I heard Bella moan as Tina's fingers continued to caress her cheek before tucking some stray hair behind her ear.
Bella pulled back, breaking contact. I saw some confusion in her eyes as she looked at me. Her eyes slid shut, and she seemed to relax as I rubbed the exposed skin of her lower back. Taking a deep breath, Bella lazily opened her eyes, smiling when she caught me looking down at her.
"See, Baby. Did you see that? The way they look at each other? They're adorable. That's why I want them," Tina said, rubbing Matthew's forearm.
Bella looked at me blankly, then back to the Fuchs. She blinked rapidly, and her lips parted to speak but closed before any sound was released. I felt bad for her discomfort, but at the same time, seeing her so flustered was amusing.
"That's a pretty drink. What's that called?" She pointed to the red and white frozen drink in Tina's hand.
"This is a Miami Vice. Half piña colada and half strawberry daiquiri. And all yum," she said, lifting the hurricane glass slightly. "MF is drinking Malibu and pineapple juice. He just can't get enough pineapple juice, if you know what I mean," she said, winking at Bella.
"What does she mean?" Bella whispered to me.
"I'll tell you back at the boat," I whispered back.
"You know…it makes the guys sweeter," Tina answered anyway.
"Oh. I don't think you could make Edward any sweeter," Bella said, blushing and glancing at me for a second before looking away.
Tina looked at me and silently asked if Bella was serious. I shrugged, because I really didn't know what else to do. I hoped she would take the cue to drop it, but she obviously didn't.
"Hun, I meant they taste better," Tina said, motioning to my crotch.
"They taste better?"
"Yeah, it makes their jizz taste better. I mean, it doesn't make it taste like skittles or anything, but it's definitely sweeter and less bitter. MF has been loading up on pineapple juice for weeks."
Right on cue, Matthew wiggled his bushy eyebrows.
"Why don't you come back to the cabana with us, and you can taste for yourself."
"Pfft, I'd rather taste that," Bella said, pointing at Tina's drink.
"I'll have Pam bring you one," Tina assured.
Bella eyes fixed on Tina's drink. She tilted her head and chewed on her bottom lip like she was actually trying to decide whether to go to the Fuchs' cabana with them.
I lowered my lips to her ear and whispered, "You know they want to have sex with us, right?"
Balla gasped and her jaw dropped. She pulled her face back to look into my eyes. I nodded, silently reaffirming Tina and Matthew's motivation.
"So do Bob and Molly. In Italy."
"What?" I asked. She nodded back to me the same way I had moments ago but didn't offer me any additional information.
"I think Bella's had enough to drink today. I really need to get her back on the ship."
Tina's face dropped, and her shoulders dipped a little in disappointment.
"It's okay, my love," Matthew told Tina, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and kissing her with vigor.
"Thank you, though. We're very flattered," I added, trying to soften the rejection. The couple nodded their understanding, and I took Bella's hand to lead her back down the path toward the tender boat.
"Maybe we'll see you later on the ship," Tina said sadly, raising her hand to wave goodbye as they started to walk away.
"Cheer up, baby," Matthew told her, taking her hand in his.
"Only if you suck on my boob."
She shrieked when he lifted the edge of her cover-up and slapped her bare ass. "Deal."
We watched them walk away in silence, a little stunned by the entire interaction.
I pulled Bella along the path, toward the tender boat again. Even if it was just to help with her balance, I loved the feel of her tucked into my shoulder.
Bella snickered. "Oh my goodness, I didn't know they made crocheted speedos too!" she exclaimed, pointing at Matthew's retreating form.
I shrugged. "I thought he was naked until he stepped out from behind her."
Bella's giggles erupted again. "Remember that Friends episode where they called speedos 'banana hammocks?'"
I nodded.
"His banana hammock was yellow, just like a banana! I hope there are no monkeys on this island."
I cringed at the thought.
"Do you think it was real?"
"Do I think what was real?"
"His banana, it seemed really big."
I stopped in my footsteps. "You looked at his banana?"
She shrugged. "Didn't you?"
"No. I don't usually go around checking out the size of other dudes' junk."
"Oh."
We started back down the path, and Bella stopped us again, raising her finger up like she'd just remembered something she had forgotten.
"I wanted to go see Pam!" Bella whined.
"Bella, you don't even know who Pam is."
"I know she can get me a pretty drink. What if she's my new friend, but we don't get to meet now?"
"I think you've made enough new friends on this island."
"But I want to meet Pam!"
"Bella," I said, taking a deep breath and trying to think of a way to get her to agree to continue on our way. "You know for us to get to the cabanas, we have to walk all the way across the nude beaches, right? And they are in the designated play areas, so there will be people being openly amorous."
"Ew!"
We walked a bit more down the path.
"I'll bet she has big boobs."
"Who?"
"Pam, I'll bet she has big boobs. Pams always have big boobs."
"Okay, " I agreed to placate her ramblings.
We finally made it to the tender boat dock but just missed one trip, meaning we were among the first to board the next trip. I led her to an empty bench, and she slid all the way down to sit next to the rail. I slid onto the bench beside her.
Another cruiser sat next to me, and Bella twisted to put her back to the rail and threw her legs over my lap, pointing her toes to keep as much distance between the lady and me as possible.
I quirked an eyebrow, begging for an explanation.
"I told Alice I would understand if you wanted to 'play' with other girls on the ship, but I lied. I don't want to share," she admitted, wrapping her arms around my neck and nuzzling into my shoulder.
"I don't want to share, either," I assured her, rubbing her back with one hand and the back of her thigh with the other.
Her skirt fell open at my ministration, and I got another peek of her soft thigh.
"What is this thing? Is it split all the way up?" I asked huskily, sliding my hand higher on her bare thigh.
She ran her fingers through my hair, gently scratching my scalp and nudged my jaw with her nose as she brought her lips to my ear. "It's a par…peri…pari," She pulled back slightly, frustrated that she couldn't quite figure out how to say the word.
My eyes focused on the opening as I continued massaging her leg. I readjusted my position, trying to get situated so that Bella didn't feel my hard-on.
She softly sighed and whimpered as I rubbed her back and leg, relaxing into my shoulder. She continued playing with the fine hair at my neckline as her hooded eyes slowly blinked in contentment.
"Umm…Alice and my mom call it a par-something, but I call it a sarong."
"Uh-huh," I murmured absently.
"But I don't think it's sa-wrong, Edward. I think it's so-right. Don't you, Edward?"
"Uh-huh."
Thank you all for reading.
I've never had a Miami Vice, but next time I go out, I'm ordering one and pretending I'm sipping it with the Fuchs in their cabin. ;)
