7
A Night With the Werewolf
Sinéad prepared herself for the uneasy task she was facing. She promised Lupin an absolute safety and no harm if possible, she assured him that they would surely find a way how she could deal with his werewolvish version. But although she was so resolute on the outside, she felt insecure inside. Lucky me that Severus would be there for me, she thought. It was strange. The more she knew him, the more she liked him. He seemed cold, tough, unfriendly and strict, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for her so far. All she asked for, all she wanted and all she needed, he was there. Grumpy, but was there. All of a sudden, she was sure that if she woke him up in the middle of the night, he would grind his teeth and would maybe spit a word or two, but would help her in any situation. And this is, after all, all that matters, she thought. And regarding Severus' unhappy experience with the mankind, Sinéad thought it very brave of him. That he still hasn't given up. That he still fights, and not only for himself, for everybody. But rarely anybody sees it. Dumbledore thought it wise to initiate her to his special business with Severus, so she valued the Potion master even more. When they met in front of the Whomping Willow, she expressed her gratitude that he came. She was determined to praise him and cherish him as much as possible, to repay what could never be repaid.
"Are you ready?" Severus asked with a slight concern in his voice, "you don't have to do this, you know. The wolfsbane potion works fine…"
"I know, dear. But there must be a greater protection system I suppose. You have to admit that this castle is tailor-made for disasters, from what I have seen during those four months."
"What a decision to make…" he looked in her eyes, deeply, as there would be so much more to say than that.
"Has he taken his potion tonight?"
"I truly hope so."
"Me too," she laughed over Severus' joke. She waved her hands again and the willow stood still as any other tree. My training truly gives me credit, she thought, smiling. Severus casted her another look and entered the passage after her. For the last few metres they had to crawl on all four and Severus considered it fortunate that she went first, for he would rather see her bottom than let her to see his. They were all dusty and dirty from the earthen passage, and she slowly entered the living room of the half-fallen house.
She saw a strange creature huddled under the two-and-a-half legged piano. It looked like a big grey short-haired dog, but it was bigger and more terrifying. It raised its head when she entered and yowled a little.
"My dear poor Remus!" She whispered and stretched her empty hands towards him as to let him see she has no weapon and therefore, the poor beast should not be afraid. She knew that animals attack mainly because they are scared, and she wasn't sure how much of an animal is now present and alive in Lupin's mind. Severus entered silently after her, taking a long hard disgusted look at the poor werewolf.
"Remus?" She whispered, kneeling down a few metres away from him, "can you hear me?"
The werewolf pricked up its ears and seemed interested.
"Sinéad… Don't…" Growled Severus, his wand in his hand.
"Can you hear me?" She asked again softly. The werewolf nodded slightly and looked desperately sad.
"Do you think we could try what we were saying we were doing?"
Lupin nodded again.
"Stand up from under the piano," she said slowly and carefully, as if negotiating with a suicide. "Turn around and begin destroying the furniture behind you." She turned to Severus: "It sounds silly, but you will soon see that this is the best way we can work with him."
The werewolf slowly crawled on all his four legs and gave Sinéad another I-would-rather-you-wouldn't-be-here look. Then he turned around and began tearing a wardrobe as she were saying. She shivered by the sound of cracking wood, but forced herself to concentrate. It's just another Whomping Willow, she told herself. She closed her eyes and activated all her spiritual connections. She called the Spirit of Anger again and he, reluctantly, agreed to help her to calm the wild beast down. She focused even more. She connected her fingers and closed her eyes, connecting herself to the werewolf's soul. She saw a weird grotesque mixture of animal-like and human feelings, the animal ones were stronger but the human ones were somehow… powered. As if charged. She threaded anger on her imaginary energetic wire and began to draw it off. She was waving her hands and concentrated only on conducting the huge amount of emotion accumulated by Lupin's outburst over demolishing the furniture away. Suddenly, the werewolf stopped destroying the table and furiously looked at her.
"Lupin, no!" She screamed when the werewolf gave her a furious hit with his claws. She lashed out and a wave of fire repelled him away. He looked sad and guilty again and refused to cooperate further. Severus in the meanwhile stretched his hand in a protective gesture in front of her torso.
"I think it's time to go, Sinéad."
"But why?! It went so good!"
"Yes, for some time he really ceased to attack the furniture, however…" Severus' dark eyes looked directly into her green ones, "there was something that outraged him further. Maybe it was you making him losing his power." He led her forcibly to the entrance to the Shrieking Shack.
"But it doesn't make sense!" She protested and tried to get away from Severus' tight grasp, "why had he gained a new source of power when I was constantly removing it from him at the same time?"
"That is no concern of mine." Said the Potion Master adamantly and pulled her into the tunnel. "And thereby I forbid you from now on to mess with the werewolf. You could have been killed."
"Can I mess with him when he is not a werewolf then?!" She didn't know why she said it. She spat it out as a poisonous snake bite.
"Mess with whomever you like you little freak, as long as it doesn't concern me." He snapped and violently threw her out from the tunnel from underneath the willow. He waved his wand and the branches froze to stillness. "If I were you I would express more gratitude to me since if I remember correctly, I just saved your nice little butt for the second time as you would surely remain with the werewolf for the rest of the night and get yourself killed, you fool." He turned round and dashed away into the darkness, his long black cloak streaming behind as usual. Sinéad was staring into the deep night and felt hot tears of humiliation were streaming down her cheeks. She began sobbing, she weeped and wailed.
"Why?!" She cried and hit with her clenched fists to the ground, "why did it go like that?! I wanted to help him, I wanted to help poor Remus! My poor little darling!"
"Do you have something to do with Remus?" A calm voice asked from the darkness. She jumped and her eyes grew with fear.
"Who's there?!" She yelled.
"Just your friend, the Dog," a tall unkept man smiled and stepped forward from behind the trees.
"You-you're the man everybody's looking for–" she breathed out and trembled weakly. "Sirius Black…"
"And you are the sweetest woman I have ever seen," he smiled and touched her rosy cheek with his dirty fingers, "but don't yell so loud, otherwise I won't have any other choice than to commit the crime that I was sentenced for…" He stepped closer to her and she could feel his smell, the sharp tang of an unkept body and long-worn clothes.
"Please… Don't kill me…" She whispered and watched him with terror in her eyes.
"I won't," he laughed a little and continued, looking at her with his soft, deep eyes, in which there was, if Sinéad saw correctly… Love?
"What business did you have with Remus? Are you his…"
"No, I am not his girlfriend or anything," she smiled, surprised of the easiness of her own words, "I hoped I could help him with my powers, actually, I thought I would help the other inhabitants of the castle too, in case of emergency…"
"Your powers?" Sirius Black raised his eyebrows, "you are not a witch?"
"No, I– That doesn't matter," she waved her hand carelessly, half hoping that the prisoner wouldn't be interested and would let her go.
"I cannot thank you enough for caring for my old friend," said Sirius with heartbroken cracking voice. "He deserves it, he bloody deserves it. I would immediately take him under my roof, if I ever could. But for now, young lady," Sirius gently took her hands into his, "would you like to hear a story of a sad man?"
There was something about him that unabled Sinéad to say no.
She felt desperate. So desperate. After she heard Sirius' story, she lamented several hours and then just lied prone and cried from time to time, sometimes slept. Sirius changed back into the black dog form and was laying beside her, warming up her back with his furry body. The day was breaking when Sinéad finally got up to her feet.
"I'll bring you something to eat, Sirius," she said weakly and was about to go back into the castle when Sirius' voice stopped her.
"Can I ask you one thing, sweet wild princess?"
"No Sirius, I am not bringing you any victims of your revenge," she said wryly, tired of everything.
"No, that's my business and not yours. I would like to see my godson playing Quidditch. Do you think you could sneak me to the morning match?"
"Of course, dear," she yawned, "but no one has to know. Now you'll run to the stadium and hide under the stands' cloth, Gryffindor if you please. I will bring you your food there and cover you with my skirts so that you can have a space to watch. After the match, you wait under the stands and will leave with your food packet when everybody else is gone. And no shenanigans. Or else I find you and curse you as I can."
Sirius laughed heartily and Sinéad strolled to the castle, worn out as hell.
At the exact moment she crossed the doorway of her own room and was looking forward to a nice little nap, Severus Snape threw the door open, bearing in his face the true expression of despair.
"My goodness!" He hugged Sinéad tightly, before realising what he just did and pulling away quickly. "Where have you been all night?!"
"Well, I–" She stammered, not knowing what to say.
"Don't tell me you went back to Lupin?!"
"Well, I– Yes, I did," she pulled herself together and instantly began working on her lie. "I wanted to see… If there's still something to be done." She smiled feebly.
"And was there?" Asked Snape.
"No." She said, regretting her own mask of kindness which she just constructed for herself.
"You mustn't deal with the werewolf alone." Said Severus less sharply. "You are our only hope, you are the only one who can make us better."
Who can make me better… He thought when he was gently closing the door behind him.
Sinéad waited until the last students were gone from the classroom she was just teaching. After getting over Sirius' attack on Halloween, the whole school was upside down by the Dementors' appearance at the Quidditch pitch. She brought Sirius a giant bag of food as she promised, publicly pretending that she couldn't make it to breakfast and is as hungry as a werewolf. Dumbledore and Snape knew of her night mission with Lupin, so they weren't surprised, and nobody else dared to ask. What she couldn't understand were Dumbledore's words he breathed to her when the staff was leaving the stands: "There is so much pressure on Harry right now, and much more is to come. It would be great if he could let go of his steam and you could learn something of the wizarding world…" How could she possibly help Harry let go of his steam? Is that another stupid remark of the wizards? She delved again into her problem concerning Lupin and suddenly jumped and ran towards the Gryffindor house.
"Excuse me," she said politely to a second-year ginger girl who was passing her by, "could you call in for Harry Potter?"
"Sure thing," smiled the red-haired little one and disappeared behind the portrait.
"Teachers have a granted entrance to the common room my dear," the Fat Lady smiled at Sinéad who suddenly felt embarrassed for she had to remind herself (as for the thousandth time) that she was a teacher. An adult. A mature woman. Her peers were having children and families. She was curious whether Méav or Eimear had married since she left? Were they starting a family already? Perhaps she was an aunt, and she didn't know! She suddenly felt homesick to death and she longed to be with her people at this very instant.
"Hey, Ginny told me you wanted to see me, Miss Uí Bríain?" Harry, whom had just returned from the infirmary ward days ago, asked in his usual manner. His voice, unfortunately for him, naturally had a slightly arrogant and authoritative pitch.
"Indeed I wanted to." She said and ignored the curious glances of the Gryffindors going to and from their house. "I want to arrange a meeting of the two of us."
"Is it because of my results?" Harry said faintly, "I know they are poor, but I promise I'll do my best to improve– there's just a lot of things on me now–"
"No, boy," she smiled kindly, "I am going to help you."
"Help me?" He seemed confused. "How?– I mean, with what?"
"You will see." She said, her tone suggesting their conversation is nearing its end. "Is Wednesday evening convenient?"
"Yeah, sure," Harry wondered why the hell does the young woman want to see him alone. He was nervous a little.
"What did she want?" Asked Ron hungrily when Harry returned.
"She wanted to organise a meeting with me. She said she would help me."
"Help you?" Asked Hermione in the same confused way as Harry did seconds ago, "with what?"
"I don't know. She said I'd see."
"Poooh, Harry has a date!" Booed Ron.
"Ronald!" Hermione yelled and Ginny casted them a surprised look from her knot of classmates. "It must be important when she wants to see you. Oh, I wish a teacher would like to invite me for a private consultation!"
"Hermione, they are usually glad you exit the classroom." Ron threw in and the two of them began to fight.
In the evening, she went with a food packet into the Forbidden Forest to leave it there for Sirius. Poor man, thought she, poor, poor darling. When she went back to her room, Lupin was waiting for her there. He looked awful. He had dark circles under his eyes, he was very pale and looked more scruffy than usual.
"Poor dear Remus!" She cried and rushed towards him to hug him in the friendliest manner she could.
"Dear Sinéad," Remus looked at her, warmth in his eyes and a loving smile on his face again, "can a desperate man like me ask but for one night with such a lovely lady? I need you more than ever. I feel horrid. Filthy, dirty and... damaged. Please let us both stay together, drink tea and talk, I ask no more than your comfort and friendly support. Please Sinéad, please!"
She wanted to cry in the inside. She couldn't say no again, and she began feeling very, very abused. Do I look like a sewer for all your emotional waste, boys?! She thought grudgingly, but one look into Lupin's face made her heart melt and she opened her door in a welcoming gesture.
"I cannot thank you enough," Lupin was gleaming with joy the next morning and casted at Sinéad one smile after another when they were walking down the stairs, being passed by numerous groups of students who too rushed for their breakfast. "Last night was one of my best times ever, and I am so happy that I could be with you, Sinéad." She smiled and nodded, however, inside her she was as dry as a desert, desperately calling for watering or for a rest. She felt she has to push on, she has to be there for all of those who need her, she has to save Lupin, she has to save Sirius, she has to save Severus, she has to save Harry… Harry! She had an appointment with him this evening! She shook her head. She felt overworked, although teaching-wise she showed average results. Suddenly, a cold hand grabbed her shoulder.
"You will surely excuse Miss Uí Bríain for a moment, Lupin," Snape smirked wryly with an open-faced contempt destined for nobody else than Remus. When Sinéad and Snape were out of earshot of everybody, he spat spitefully.
"Did you spend last night with him?!"
She seemed truly surprised and miffed: "Why are you asking such a thing? Were you eavesdropping a minute ago?!"
"Tell me this and tell me no more, did you spend last night with Lupin?!" He screamed at her.
"Yes I did!" She screamed back at him, outraged by such coarseness, "what business is it of yours?!"
"I knew it." She never heard such hatred, such disdain, such madness in his voice than she did now, "you tart. We're finished. Everything that has been between us is over, did you hear me?!" He yelled at her and dashed away.
"Wait!" She shouted, hot tears streaming down her eyes, "what was between us? What is over? Why?! I don't understand…" She whispered and knelt down, burying her face into her fingers. Everything was wrong. Her presence here was in vain. She couldn't help Sirius. She couldn't help poor Remus. She didn't have yet a chance to help Harry. And Severus wounded her so much that she felt her heart would die from pain.
"There there, what do we have here?" A soft hand gently patted her shoulder. When she lifted her tear-bathed eyes, she saw Dumbledore standing by her side. She began weeping and sobbing.
"Albus…" This was the first time she called him by his first name, "I feel dead. I cannot go on. I need to go, please, let me go, I need to leave this place now!" She burst into tears again and had to be escorted by Dumbledore to his office. After hearing what was there to tell, Dumbledore seemed lost in his thoughts.
"I have to admit that I didn't expect such turning point, Sinéad. Apparently, more than one man fell for your personal charm and magic and now they are fighting over you like a pair of cocks I would say," he added with a smirk.
"But I didn't want any such things!" She wailed, her face crooked from her cry.
"My dear Sinéad, tell me one thing," Dumbledore said calmly and softly, "did you become intimately close with any man here in Hogwarts?"
"No!" She burst out in anew, "I haven't! I swear I haven't! I'm a colleague and a friend, but not a mistress of anybody! Is that what they were thinking I were?!"
"I am afraid that at least Severus did, from what we can judge."
"That's awful! That's the reason he kept asking me about the night with Remus!"
"You've spent a night with Remus Lupin? But you've just told me you were–"
"Yes I have!– I mean, it's true, all I've told ye is true, Remus and I were just talking and drinking tea and we really enjoyed ourselves! He needed me, after his dreadful change back into his human self! So we spent a whole night like that, for God's sake!"
"This is what happened? Nothing more? Just chatting and drinking tea?"
"Yes! Why are ye all so particular about spending a night talking! Is there something wrong with it?!"
"Of course not. The problem is that our dear Severus interpreted it in a different sense. No wonder, even I would…" Dumbledore murmured with a slight tone of amusement in his voice, however, when he saw Sinéad's desperate expression, his speech became serious again: "Everything is alright now. No more harm will come to you anymore," said the Headmaster resolutely, "you will go to your family for a week and we'll hope the atmosphere gets better. Don't worry about your return, everything would be alright. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, Albus," she smiled a little, "yes I do."
"And do you want to come back to Hogwarts to help us all again?" He asked, but she knew he didn't demand anything of her.
"I don't know… I suppose so, but– It's really hard to say."
"I see. Your suitcase would be here in a minute, as well as something nice to eat. You've missed breakfast I suppose. Is there anything yet that has to be arranged before you leave?"
"Yes, please, Albus," she smiled softly, "I would like to leave here a note for Harry Potter that our today's appointment is due next week. Also," she paused, hesitating whether to say it or not, "there's a wild-dog family in the Forbidden Forest and I was feeding them the past days, so if somebody could come at least once when I am away and bring them food at the edge of the forest. They know where to find it."
"Of course. I will send an elf. How kind of you, Sinéad."
"Thank you, Albus. For everything."
Severus Snape was pale with anger. How could she? After all that he had done for her, she has done nothing in return. Nothing. And what was worse, after all he had shared with her, his memories, his privacy, his soul, this was how she paid back! When she knew Lupin was one of the main reasons for his problems! He felt misused, betrayed, jilted. When he finally managed to make himself forget about Lily when Sinéad was nearby. But was even worse, what was the worst of all, was the fact that she even never had actually been his. He didn't have any right to act as he did and to blame her for her actions when she was still a free unengaged woman. What was making him cross was the fact he didn't know his own feelings about Sinéad well yet, nor he did know why were he claiming her for himself this morning. He was torn apart between Lily and Sinéad.
"Cancelled? Your appointment with Uí Bríain was cancelled? That's not what I would expect her to do," Hermione speculated excitedly over her cauldron. It was the Potion class and Harry had just received a message delivered by professor McGonagall.
"Silence!" Growled Snape, walking in between the desks and watching the students' struggle with his instructions for the Cure-all Potion. However, he could hear well that the Potter-group mentioned Sinéad's name. After making sure no one was watching him, he moved slowly more closer to hear better what they were saying.
"Seamus Finnegan says he'd seen her running away from the castle with a bag over her shoulder," whispered Ron excitedly, "and I've heard McGonagall chatting with Lupin and telling him that Sinéad was falsely accused of something very serious."
"Accused falsely?" Hermione nearly yelled and the neighbouring students casted her a look, "of what?"
"Maybe it concerns Sirius Black's attack of the Fat Lady," Harry thought, "maybe she helped him to get into the castle."
"No, Harry," Hermione looked at him with a great seriousness in her eyes, "you heard what Dumbledore said. No teacher would help Sirius Black get into the castle."
"I know, but still," Harry was resolute to maintain his point of view, "what do we know? She could have."
Severus almost forgot he was listening to somebody else's conversation. He quickly finished his pacing through the classroom and gave them all an extremely difficult homework.
"My child!" Cried Aengus and grasped Sinéad tightly. All the members of the tribe were happy to see her again, all the women, men and children. She hugged everybody and it took her dozens of minutes before she greeted everybody and everybody greeted her.
"Didn't they like ye, my child?" Asked the father with great concern in his voice.
"Yes father, they did," she assured him weakly, not quite sure of her own words.
"So why are ye coming back?" He roared good-heartedly and slapped her into her back.
"Because I missed ye so much," Sinéad smiled and dropped a few tears, these ones were the tears of joy.
"No no, ye have a secret of yers!" Her father didn't stop teasing her. "Yer married, or at least engaged, are ye?"
"No, father, I'm neither," she looked sad for she remembered the recent events that she just ran away from.
"No worries, darling, I don't want to expose you to the first herder that comes around. But, ye know… I thought that ye would already be married and laid when ye come back, so I already married Eimear off…"
"What suicide– I mean who wanted to marry her?" Asked Sinéad curiously.
"Cú Chulainn, our best warrior!" Cried Aengus and began chuckling and clapping his big hands. It was a custom at this tribe for the young women to find a husband in the summer season and to wed at the Samhain festival, for they would get laid just before winter comes and then they would give birth during the summer again which was much more convenient than to deliver the baby in the middle of cruel and cold winter. Therefore, the custom was just a very practical way how to start your family life.
"Well, I was actually saving him for ye, but I thought that maybe ye find yer own husband out there." Aengus confessed tentatively.
"Father, I wouldn't like to live with a warrior," Sinéad smiled and raised to her feet. "Where is the newly wed young woman?"
"Cooking for her husband, as every good wife should do."
Her sister was changed beyond recognition. Her usual expression of bravery and slight arrogance was changed by a sad and torn-off one. She was toiling over a meal in the stove, her cheeks red from the fire, her eyes full of shadows, her hair messy and unkempt. Sinéad leaned over the doorway of the shanty and she watched her sister's misery.
"Why did ye come here?" Growled Eiméar, "do ye enjoy yerself? Do ye like what'ye see? Are ye content now?!"
"Why should I be happy with my sister's misfortune?" Sinéad asked calmly, her hands folded at her chest.
"Because now," Eimear panted and wiped her sweaty dirty forehead, "ye finally have a proof of your superiority. Years and years I've been fighting with ye over the privilege of the best successor of the chieftain, and now ye finally won. Isn't it nice?"
"No, it isn't. I never intended to win. In fact, I've never played any game. And I am sorry if you did."
"I don't believe ye."
"Believe what you want."
"I surely will."
"What's your husband like?"
"He's an arsehole."
"That's nice to know. Why did you marry him then?"
"First and foremost," Eiméar turned around from the stove and now she was facing her sister, whom looked in her fancy Hogwarts robe like a princess, "because he tricked me into lying with him. And I was too ashamed to tell father so I told him I want to marry my husband. I feared the consequences."
"And are there any?"
"I don't know yet. But I'm sure ye would be happy if there would. Yer ambitious little sister, chained to this goddamn shack while the queen enjoys herself in the stone palace. Ye don't have to make faces at me, Méav told me well how your new home looks like."
"Where is she by the by?"
"Training somewhere with her new skill which you kindly enabled her to develop." Eimear answered wryly, close to tears of humiliation.
"Run away."
"What?!"
"Run away from yer husband if yer not happy with him."
"Yer mad! I can't and ye well know it! Besides, father would kill me!"
"Better be dead than unhappy I'd say."
"Also, how about– Well, the..." Eimear paused and placed her hand on her belly.
"I don't think ye'll have a baby, Eim…" Sinéad said softly, stepping closer to her sister and placing one hand onto her shoulder, the other on her belly. "I can't feel any connection with the new soul that would possibly be there. I'm sorry."
Eimear's face went from surprise to a slight sign of happiness, than to disbelief: "Perhaps yer senses are wrong. Or yer lying to me."
"I thought ye don't want the chile."
"Me too– Well I don't know if I want it or not. If I only had a place to run away to…"
"Ye can run away with me."
"It's yer own place. I won't be stealing its being for ye. I have to find my own place. Either here or somewhere else, it depends upon the chile in my womb."
"I just want one thing from you," Sinéad continued quickly when she saw Eimear's new expression of fury, "never to see you as unhappy as today."
