I Fear Love

I stretched on my hammock, after several nightmares throughout the night; it was nice to just relax. The sun was coming in through the windows, I felt nice and light. Then a thought came to me, Odette. Where is she? I sat up straight as I looked around the room. Anamaria moved in her sleep and mumbled something with Jack in it. I looked around wildly to find no Odette, as I tried getting out of the hammock it tipped over spilling me onto the floor. I cursed rather loudly as Anamaria kept talking in her sleep, some rather disturbing things might I add. After getting up from the floor I ran to the door and opened it and looked up and down the hallway.

"Where did she go?" I muttered as I ran into the hallway, I ran into several men but I didn't care, as long as I found Odette, I would be fine. I ran up the stairs and onto the deck, I looked around wildly until a voice called.

"Emily!" I whirled around to see Odette sitting on Jack's lap waving at me. I sighed in relief as I walked over to her.

"Odette what are you doing up here?" I asked trying not to sound mad.

"I wanted to hear Jack's stories." She said happily.

"Captain Jack, darling captain." He said to her and she nodded.

"You look mad Emily are you ok?" She asked innocently and I smiled and said.

"Yes I am ok, I was just worried. Next time will you tell me where you're going?" I asked and she nodded.

"Good, now continue with your story." I said before walking off, I saw Will at the wheel of the Dutchman; I smiled up at him even though he couldn't see me. I hadn't talked to him lately, and we have things to talk about. So I went to the railing and swung over. I greeted the few crewmen that were already on deck and then I quietly walked up to the wheel. Will's back was to me as I snuck up behind him.

"Nice try Emily." He said before I could lunge at him. I pouted as he turned around and started laughing at me.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked as I stepped closer to him, till I was next to him.

"6th sense?" He said jokingly as I lightly punched him in the arm.

"Seriously." I said as he peered at me, he nodded his head and said.

"I don't know really, it's just when your near I can feel you."

"Weird." I said even though I wanted to smile and hug him.

"Very, I mean I only got that with one other person and that person was…" He stopped talking, but I knew who he was going to say.

"Will we need to talk." I said after several long minutes of silence.

"No we don't." I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness.

"Yes we do, you know we do."

"Well I don't want to talk." And before I could say anything he had stormed off with me standing there shocked. Why did I have to fall in love with him? Wait, love? I banged my head against the wheel, before running after Will. I had a good idea of where he was going. I ran to his cabin and just threw the door open and marched in to see Will looking at me surprised.

"Emily…"

"I don't care if you don't want to talk, we are." I said and then I slammed the door shut so it was only Will and I, in his cabin.

"There's nothing to talk about." He said turning his back to me while I snorted.

"Oh I can name three things to talk about."

"Oh and what are they."

"My death, your family, and us." He turned to look at me.

"What us? There is no us." The words stung me as my heart felt like Will had stabbed it. Will must have seen my face because he said.

"Emily…"

"Fine two things to talk about, but we're talking about them." I spat at him. Finally he nodded he took a seat on one of the chairs as I stayed standing.

"Ok let's start me, I died."

"I think I know that. I just don't know why." He said looking up at me.

"I died because I thought it was best for everyone, and I…I was scared." Will quirked one of his eyebrows.

"Scared, of what?" I stopped pacing and looked him square in the eye.

"You."

"Me? How did I scare you?" He asked bewildered. I ran a hand through my hair, as I suddenly felt nervous about what I was going to say.

"Because you just do." I yelled at him as he looked at me.

"Everything that happened to us, it scared me. I mean you're you, and I'm me, and what we were together. It was good…it was great. I never felt that way about anyone before and that scared me. And you were married, with a son. It was too much to take and what I did was selfish, I realize that, but it was a good idea at the time. I just need to get away, the pain of everything was too great, and I'm sorry I hurt you, and I didn't want to. If I had known that your son would die three years later and then Elizabeth later, I wouldn't have done. I would have stayed and lived the pain. But I didn't know and I'm sorry." By now tears were streaming down my face as everything went blurry. I didn't even notice Will stand up and come over to me, until I felt his strong arms go around my waist and he pulled me to him. As I cried into his chest as he held me. He led me to a couch as we sat down with me in his arms as he gently rocked me, until the tears stopped. I pulled away slightly away from him so I could look into his eyes. He brought a hand up to my face and wiped away the remaining tears. We stayed like that for a long time, just looking at each other.

"It killed me when you died. I stayed in my room for days, I just couldn't believe it, and I blamed myself." I shook my head no.

"It wasn't your fault." He held up a hand to shut me up. He then continued.

"I felt like a part of me died, and I realized that you and me were much more then just a fling." I felt that way too, but I kept quiet.

"And then I just tried to forget about you, and I went back to my duties as captain and everything was going good, I mean I thought about you everyday especially when I was trying to go to sleep, your face haunted me." I gave a small smile as he caressed my cheek.

"And then my one day on land came and Elizabeth told me what had happened to my son William, he died of a plague that came through the island. And those seven years alone had hardened Elizabeth, she had never let the grief go, it just ate her up for seven years. And in some way she thought it was my fault. So when I tried to console her she just started yelling at me, she said it was my fault that our son was dead. And then she threw my chest at me along with the key, and she told me she never wanted to see me again."

"What did you do?" I asked as I had started absent-mindedly rubbing circles on his chest, in the exposed area of his shirt. My head was leaning against his chest, where his heart should be. But I could have sworn I heard his heart beat speed up a little from across the room. He sighed before saying.

"I did as she asked me to; I left with my heart and the key to it. And I never saw her again, it wouldn't have mattered anyway, she died five years later, or at least that's what Jack told me."

"Were you sad?" I asked as he took my hand into his as the entwined together.

"Of course, I had loved Elizabeth."

"But." I said as I felt he had more to say.

"The relationship was strained, even before William died." I looked up at him surprised.

"How so?" I asked intrigued as I settled back down on him.

"Well there is a rule to being the Dutchman, after he finished his ten years of duties he is allowed to leave his job as the Dutchman, if his love stayed faithful to him fro those ten years."

"Are you saying Elizabeth cheated on you?" I asked shocked, she wouldn't do that, would she?

"No she was faithful."

"Then why are you still the Dutchman?" I asked.

"Well because the Dutchman has to be faithful as well." Realization dawned on me as I finally figured out what he had been trying to say.

"And you well know I wasn't and Elizabeth knew about the rule and so she was shocked when I told her that I would have to be heading back to the ship for another ten years. Our relationship was doomed from then, even before then I realized our marriage wasn't a good one. She deserved someone she could see all the time not once every ten years."

"Do you wish you hadn't married her?" I asked hesitantly.

"I loved Elizabeth, but if I had known what would have happened afterwards, then I say no. She didn't deserve the life she got." We stayed silent for a couple of minutes, just thinking, I was thinking how good it was to be this close to Will again. His scent was intoxicating as I breathed it in.

"I'm glad you told me." I whispered as I looked up at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled down at me.

"Well I thought you deserved to know, and you were right we needed to talk." I realized that I should go look for Odette, make sure she is doing good. So I groaned and untangled myself from Will.

"I better go look for Odette." I said as I stood up and I gave him a sad smile. He smiled at me and motioned for me to go. Just as I was out the door Will yelled.

"Emily." I turned around confused as he smiled at me and said.

"We are ok." I cocked my head to the side as his words finally made sense; I smiled back at him before walking into the hallway. I made my way onto the deck and jumped back onto the Pearl, as soon as I stepped on the deck Odette ran towards me, and I gave her a hug.

"Emily I have been looking all over for you."

"Well I'm sorry, I was visiting a friend. What do you want to do?" I asked her as I stood up and she looked at me and smiled.

"Well Anamaria give me some rope and I was going to make a bracelet, you can make you too, come on." She grabbed my hand and started dragging me towards our room. Once inside I saw small strands of rope on the floor and Odette plopped herself down on the floor as she started working on hers. I sat down across from her as Star rubbed up against me.

"Are you going to make one?" I shook my head no.

"I'm not good at crafts, my best craft is sword fighting."

"Isn't that dangerous?" She asked looking up at me, while I laughed and nodded. I watched her in silence for awhile before finally saying.

"Odette?"

"Yes?" She asked.

"Do you have anywhere to go? Like family anywhere, where I know you'll be safe?" She thought about it for a couple of minutes before saying.

"Yes, my Mother lives in London." That was good we will be porting in London in a couple of days.

"Why does she live there?" I asked curiously.

"I don't know, I went on a trip with my Father one day and when we came back she was gone, only a letter saying she had gone to London. My grandparents live there."

"Why do you think she ran away?" I asked as I stroke Star.

"That's easy, my Father hit her, a lot harder then he ever hit me. She told me she was going to run away, she said she would come back for me one day, but she never did."

"How old were you when that happened?"

"Five and now I'm eight." We lapsed into a silence until she said.

"Emily?"

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Why did you save me, most people just look on?" I sighed as images of my Father hitting me flashed through my mind.

"I save you, because when I was little my Father hit me too." She looked shocked.

"He did?" I smiled down at her and playfully ruffled her hair.

"Yes he did, he did this to me." I said as I raised my shirt up to reveal my burn mark. Her eyes got as big as saucers.

"How did he do that?"

"He took an iron that had been resting in the fire and he set it down on me." A lone tear fell down my cheek as Odette crawled over to me and sat in my lap giving me a hug. I returned it. I felt her take my wrist and I felt something go on it. And I looked down to see a rope bracelet on my wrist. I looked down at her as she smiled up at me.

"It's a friendship bracelet." I smiled before hugging her again.

"I'll wear it everyday." I whispered as I held the young girl. I finally let go and she went back to her spot and she picked up Star.

"Are you going to make one?" She asked again trying to change the subject.

"Maybe later." I said as I took a couple of strands of rope and I put them in the pocket of the jacket I had been wearing.

"Want to go up to the deck and see what everyone else is doing?" I asked and she nodded and I took her hand as we walked up. When we got up there I saw most of the Pearls crew sitting around the deck drinking rum and talking. Even some of the Dutchman's crew came over, it was like a party. I went over and sat on a crate as Odette sat on my lap, she was trying to learn the song a pirate's life for me, which the crew was singing. I felt someone sit beside me and I smiled when I saw it was Will. He smiled back before putting an arm around my shoulder gently pulling me to him, as I leaned against him. And for once in a long time, everything was perfect.

(Please R and R! I do not own Pirates.)