Until You Love Me
Chapter Six: Jealousy Will Drive You Mad
Ron's POV
"Ron, what is there left for you to possibly say to me?" Hermione asked. "What, do you want to say you're sorry? Do you want to tell me you don't know what you were thinking or you don't know what came over you? Do you want… do you want to ask me to forgive and forget?
"What you did Ron-! What you did is unforgivable! You saw that I was in pain Ron, and you just sat there acting as if you'd no idea why! You sat there comforting me when the whole time the reason I was in any pain to begin with was because of you!
"I mean what Ron, did you think that Cedric and I would just end and you and I could get together? Is that really what you thought? Did you and that girl really think that once Cedric and I were over you two could just swoop us up into your arms and whisk us away into your happily ever after?
"Did you really think that that is what would have happened?"
"I'd hoped for it." I told her. "It's just… Hermione, we've known each other for the past three years, going on four now, and though I may not have been much of a prince at first, the complete opposite, even, but… could you really not see how much I care for you?" I asked her as I reached out to run my hand through her hair, but she leaned back and I drew my hand back. "You're so… everything, Hermione. You're beautiful, and funny, and witty, and logical, and brilliant… you're perfect. I mean, why wouldn't I want to be with you? You and Harry, you two are the only ones who found me interesting enough to become my friends. And I know that sounds bad, Herm, makes it sound like I only want you because you're the only female who ever gave me a second glance, but that's not why. You're my friend, my best friend at that, and isn't that the best person you can be with? Your best friend? Leaves room for no surprises or reasons to not like one another; you already know everything there already is to know.
"Which is why… I don't understand why you wanted to be with someone you hardly knew rather than your best friend. I mean is it, is he better than me or something? Is he… am I not good looking enough, or smart or athletic enough?"
"Ron…" She began slowly. "It's none of that. Looks, they have nothing to do with why I am with him. Nor do they have anything to do with the reason I fancied him in the first place. My reasons for liking him; loving him, I just can't explain them. Cedric… I know he's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.
"And us Ron, I really didn't know how you felt about me. And even if I did… it wouldn't have changed anything. I love you Ron, like a brother. Like I love Ginny or Neville or Harry, you're all family to me. I would never want anything less or more from any of you. And I'm sorry if that hurts you, but it's not going to change. I love Cedric, Ron, no one else. I never have, and I'm not sure if I ever will."
"You don't know that Hermione. And frankly, it's pretty unfair to even think that when you're still only fifteen. I mean, what about other people that want to, but have never had to chance to be with you, or Cedric for that matter? Neither of you are even weighing out your options, you're just so… infatuated with each other that you won't even give others a chance to see if they can be happy with you, and you with them.
"I mean you can't expect to be satisfied with your life when you've only ever just kissed one person, can you? And I am sure Cedric feels the same way, I am sure he wouldn't want you to feel trapped. If he were me, or I him, I would want you to be able to get a change to see what else there is for you out there, or more specifically, who."
"Ron-"
"How can you really be sure how happy he makes you, or, feel for that matter, when he is literally the only person you have ever been with? I mean, you've never kissed anybody else. So how sure can you really be that he is the one you want to be with? Shouldn't you at least let yourself explore and see if somebody else makes you as happy as he makes you? Or you never know maybe there is someone out there who will make you happier than he has made you."
"Ronald, are you even listening to yourself right now?" She asked me after a moments wait. "You claim to be my best friend, you claim to know everything there is to know about me, and yet here you are accusing me of being merely infatuated with my boyfriend! You are so blinded by jealousy that you can't even see how truly in love with him I am! You can't just except that I am happy with him, and in turn be happy for me! You're the most selfish person in the world Ron!
"How would you feel if the roles here were in reverse, and you had a girlfriend that you were perfectly happy and in love with, but I tried convincing you otherwise? How would it make you feel if I tried convincing you to expand your horizons and try being with someone else? Would you leave them and do so? Or would you stick up for yourself and your heart, or would you just go off and make possibly the biggest mistake of your life?
"Why would you risk your own happiness just to appease others fancies? I mean, why in the world would you let yourself give up the only thing that has made you truly happy after spending years of being alone and merely moderately happy? I mean, wouldn't you rather say: 'Screw you Hermione, I love her and she loves me, and if you've got a problem with my happiness being with someone besides yourself then we really need to reevaluate the depth of our friendship.'
"Honestly Ron, would you ask Ginny to break up and leave Harry just because Neville likes her? Would you suggest she take a break from Harry to see if Neville was good for her, or better, for that case?"
"Of course not, Harry and Ginny are brilliant together; I'd never do something like that to them. There happy, so I'm happy for them."
"Then why can't you be happy for me Ron!" She boomed as she shot up from the couch with her hand covering her heart. "Why can't you just leave well enough alone!"
"Because I want you Hermione!" I shouted. "I want to be with you, dammit! I want to make you happy; I want to hold you and kiss you and tell you I love you and be the one you come to when you need comforting! I want to be the one to make you happy! I want to be the one to give you that adorable ear-to-ear grin whenever my name is mentioned, and I want to be the one to make you shoot to the stars when you think of me! I want to be the one you sneak off to see in the middle of the night! I want to hold you so bad sometimes it hurts! You're the only one I want to be with Hermione, and you're not even giving me a chance to prove to you how bloody much I love you!" I pulled myself up quickly and cupped my hands on either side of her head and pressed my lips firmly to hers as I finished.
"Don't Ron!" She shouted as she shoved against me with her hands.
"Let me show you how much I love you Hermione!" I told her as I bounced my body back to hers and kissed her again.
"Ron! Stop it! I don't love you!" She cried as I held her tightly against me; I kissed her again. "I don't want you Ron, I could never want you!"
"Hermione, stop struggling!" I told her before cupping my hands tightly around her forearms and shoving her down to the couch. "Just let me in Hermione!" I begged as I climbed atop her.
"Ron!" She screamed as she kicked and hit me. "Get off of me now Ron! Ron- Ron, Ouch! Ron, please!"
The last kick hit me hard in the groin, and I went toppling to the floor in agony.
Hermione wiggled herself up and took off from the couch, but I reached out just in time to grab her ankle and she went tumbling to the floor. She was screaming as I pulled her towards me on her belly, she kicked and struggled to get herself free but I wasn't having that. I had had enough and it was time to prove to her who really loved her, and I wouldn't stop until she knew.
"Let me go!" She cried as I twisted her wrist in such a way to cause her enough pain to make her body twist to face mine. "Ron that hurts! Please! PLEASE! You're my friend don't do this, don't do this Ron please, you're scaring me!"
"Hermione, I love you, and I'm going to make you feel it!"
"No! Ron please! Please!" She screamed as she slammed her fists against my chest and arms. I muted her by slamming my lips to hers, but the little thing struggled and turned her head from mine. I would be damned if that bloody Diggory had her before me…
"Ron stop please, please stop Ron!" She screamed. "Ron stop this! Owww!"
"Ready for those dragons mate?" Seamus asked as he, Harry, Neville and Ginny made their way up the last final steps to the Gryffindor House.
"As ready as I'll ever be." Harry sighed. "The good thing is Moody's been helping out a lot, so I think aside from the nervousness, shakes and potential death I should be fine."
Ginny had made it a point to block these conversations out and so silently jumped ahead of the boys and mumbled Still Garden to the fat lady. The door then swung gracefully open and with it came screams, and the four looked at each other for no longer than a moment before rushing inside to see what all the commotion was about.
"Stop please!" She screamed again.
"I'm gonna make you fe-!"
TBC
