"Daddy, I was thinking, maybe I should go to Brown." Jules said looking over at Dr. Erickson as they ate dinner.
"What about NYU? I thought you wanted to be a filmmaker?" he asked looking over at her.
"I changed my mind. I thought I would try doing something practical. Like being a doctor or something." she said looking down into her plate.
"Jules, what's behind this change of heart?" he asked looking over at her.
"I don't know. I mean, I don't know where Roger is and it makes no sense for me to go to the city and room with Collins if Roger's not there. Those were our plans. I don't feel right doing it without him." she said looking up at him.
"Jules, I think you should go anyway. You never know. Roger might show up in the fall." April said looking up at her.
"What's the use? He's not gonna be there. And he doesn't love me anymore anyway. Daddy, I'm gonna go up to my room, OK?" she said looking up at him as she got up from the table.
"It's OK sweetie. Go ahead." he said looking over at her as she ran up the stairs.
"She's a mess isn't she dad?" April said looking up the stairs.
"Yeah, I don't know what to do for her anymore. But I guess if she wants to go to Brown to forget about Roger, it's better than her locking herself in her room like she's been doing most of the summer." he said looking over at her.
"Yeah I guess. But I wish she would go to NYU anyway. I'm sure Roger's there and he just doesn't want Collins to tell her that he's there." she said looking over at him.
"I don't think it's such a good idea if she sees Roger again at this point. She's still hurting over the miscarriage. I'm afraid seeing him would hurt her even more." he said looking over at her.
"Dad, how can you say that. Roger and Jules are made for each other. They're supposed to be together." she said getting up from the table to go to Jules' room. "Jules, I'm coming in." she called out just walking into her room.
"April, what are you doing? You don't knock anymore?" she snapped as she wiped her eyes and hid the picture of Roger she was looking at away.
"You're not giving up on you and Roger, are you?" she asked walking over to the nightstand taking out the picture she had just put away.
"I guess I have no choice, do I? He gave up on me first." she yelled getting up from her bed to walk around the room.
"He hasn't given up on you. Jules, you owe it to him to go to the city to see if he's there." she said looking up at her.
"Collins would have told me by now if he was there. And anyway, if he is there, he knows where I am and he could call me. At least to tell me that he was OK." she said looking over at her.
"Jules, he's hurting. Hurting over losing the baby and losing you." she yelled looking over at her.
"He didn't lose me. Not until he left me April. We were supposed to get married and live our lives in the city together raising our baby. But then I lost the baby and things just got all messed up." she said starting to cry again.
"You treated him like it was his fault. Every time he looked at you, he saw the pain in you face. What was he supposed to do?" April yelled looking over at her.
"April, you don't understand. You really don't." she yelled opening the door to her room, running down the stairs leaving the house.
"What happened?" Dr. Erickson asked looking up the stairs.
"She doesn't understand why Roger left. And she refuses to go to New York after him." she said looking down at him.
"April, why do you always have to yell at her about this? You know she's having a hard time." Dr. Erickson asked looking up at her.
"Because I see what Roger and Jules had. It's not over dad. I know it's not over between them." she yelled running out of the house as well.
"Dad, has Jules come home yet?" April asked looking up at Dr. Erickson as she entered the kitchen.
"She should be in her room. I went to bed early last night." he said looking over at her.
"She's not dad. She's gone." she said looking over at him.
"What do you mean she's not in her room?" he asked coming out from behind the counter and rushing up the stairs. When they got to her room Dr. Erickson looked in her closet and April looked in her nightstand.
"All of her pictures of Roger are gone dad." she said looking over at him.
"Her clothes and her bag is gone too. Is there a note anywhere?" he asked looking around the room.
"I don't see one. Dad, maybe she went to New York to find Roger." she suggested looking over at him.
"I'm gonna call Collins. Do you have his number?" he asked looking over at her.
"It should be on the phone bill. She calls him once a week." she said looking up at him as they went down the stairs.
"Here, I found it." he said looking over at her as he grabbed the phone and began dialing.
"Dad, let me talk to him." she said taking the phone from him. "Collins, it's April. Is Jules there?" she asked as Dr. Erickson stood over her.
"No, she's not. Why, she's gone?" he asked looking over at Roger.
"Yeah. Um Collins, is Roger there?" she asked looking down at her feet.
"No Babygirl. Roger's not here." he said as Roger got up from the couch to go to him.
"Collins, please. Don't lie to me, OK? It's really important. I think she ran to New York to find Roger." she said looking up at Dr. Erickson.
"Babygirl..." he repeated looking over at Roger.
"Dammit Collins, I need to know. My sister may have run to New York to find him. If you hear anything from either one of them, please, please call me, OK? I'm really worried about her." the 16 year old yelled crying into the phone.
"April, I promise. If Jules shows up here, I'll call you immediately, OK?" he told her trying not to lie to the young girl.
"Thank you Collins. Thank you so much." she said looking up at Dr. Erickson.
"No problem Babygirl. Anything I can do to help you." he said looking over at Roger who looked very worried.
"OK bye." she said hanging up the phone.
"Jules is gone?" Roger asked looking up at him.
"Yeah, April said that she may have run away to New York to find you." he said looking down at her.
"When did she leave?" he asked looking up at him.
"I don't know, but I'm assuming it was sometime last night or really early this morning. At least long enough for her to get here." he said going into the kitchen.
"What the hell did I do to her?" he yelled running his fingers through his hair as he walked around the loft.
"Roger, you have to go out and find her. She needs you to go out and find her." Collins said looking up at him.
"How am I gonna find her? This city if friggin huge. Where would I start?" he asked looking up at him.
"I don't know, but I know she doesn't know where I live, so she's probably wandering around lost." he said looking over at him.
"What am I gonna do Collins?" he asked looking over at him.
"I don't know man, but when Babygirl walks in here, you better be smart enough to apologize to her and try to start over again." he said looking over at him.
"I will man. You have no idea how much I regret not staying there for her. Or talking to her when she called here every damn week. Collins I screwed up so bad." he cried looking over at him.
"I just hope it's not too late." he said looking over at him.
"Me too." Roger said going into his room taking out his pictures of Jules before laying down in his bed and crying.
2 Years later
Julianna hasn't shown up anywhere yet. She didn't go to Brown or NYU. She stopped calling Roger and Collins and her father and April didn't know where she was. She seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. When April graduated high school, she decided to go to New York to see if she could find her sister. She knew she had to be somewhere close enough to Roger, so that when she was ready to talk to him, she could find him. She decided to go to live in the loft with them for when her sister did show up. Roger was playing in a band and Collins was still going to college at NYU.
"Hey Collins, I'm here." April called out as she, Mark and Benny entered the loft.
"Babygirl, you are looking more and more like your sister every time I see you." he smiled getting up from the window seat to hug her.
"Where's Roger?" she asked looking around.
"In his room. He rarely comes out of there. Unless it's for band practice or to perform." he told her quielty pointing towards Roger's room.
"Has anyone heard from Jules since the last time I called?" she asked looking over at them.
"No Babygirl, sorry." Collins answered taking a beer out of the refrigerator.
"I swear, I have no idea where my sister is and what she's thinking. She should have been here by now." she said looking over at him as she opened the beer.
"I don't know either April." Mark said looking over at her.
"Hey April, I didn't hear you come in." Roger said coming out of her room as he walked into the kitchen for a beer.
"Yeah, hi 's up?" she asked looking up at him.
"Nothing. I'm gonna be in my room writing, OK?" he said looking around before going back in his room.
"See what I mean? He rarely comes out of his damn room." Collins said looking over at her.
"Yeah well, I'm gonna change that." she said putting her beer down on the metal counter before storming into Roger's room. "Roger, what's going on? Collins says you never come out of your room. You can't keep hiding in here forever." she said looking over at him.
"April, is this why you came here? To badger me?" he asked sitting on his bed looking up from his guitar.
"She's been gone 2 years Roger. You have to move on. This is not healthy for you." she said looking down at him.
"Well what else am I gonna do? I can't think of moving on April. I still love her and I lost her. I left and now I don't know where she is and that's my fault." he yelled leaning his guitar against the bed before getting up.
"I don't know where she is either Roger and she's my sister. She didn't just run away from you, she ran away from me too. That's not your fault. If it was your fault she would have contacted me or my dad a long time ago, but she didn't. She's stayed under the radar from everyone else too." she yelled looking over at him.
"Yeah well, what do you want me to do April?" he asked looking over at her.
"Move on with your life. Obviously Jules is not coming back." she yelled looking over at him.
"I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to do that." he told her quietly before leaving his room and walking out of the loft.
"What happened April?" Benny asked looking over at her.
"What does it sound like happened Benny? I'm trying to get him to move on." she answered going back into the kitchen to retrieve her beer.
"He is no where near ready for that yet." Mark said looking over at her.
"It's been 2 years Mark. If not now, when?" she asked looking over at him.
"He still loves her Babygirl. You have no idea what's he's goes through every night without her. Not knowing where she is. When she's coming, if she's coming. It's tearing him apart. Him moving on is not even on the radar for him." he said looking over at her.
"I don't know Collins. I hate seeing him like this. I remember a time when he was the most alive person on the planet. Now, he's dying inside and all he wants is Jules and she couldn't care less. About him or me." she yelled walking into what was to become her room.
"I bet having her hear is not gonna help him much." Mark said quietly looking over at Collins.
"Not with her looking so much like Jules." Collins answered looking up at him.
