Warning: There will be gore, torture, molestation, suicide and rape.

1944

Elijah seemed to be growing like a weed. Over a year he seemed to be aging at an alarming rate. It must have been the economy or the military power during this war but Elijah was now twelve years old and really grew into himself. He had the curliest blonde hair and shining blue eyes. It sadly also meant that because of his rapid growth he was incredibly shy and reserved. Alfred was trying so hard to get him out of his white, freckled shell but it was easier said than done. He was currently carrying some paperwork and muttering, Elijah in a sweater vest and pants following behind.

"Hey pops! Can we go out for ice cream later?"

"Hm? Oh sure champ. Just gotta get this to England."

"Is grand-père doing better?"

"Oh France? Yeah he's doing better. I think I heard him scolding England earlier."

"That's good! I don't want him to have any more nightmares like all you nations seem to have."

"Oh…Heh…Yeah. I think he'll be doing a lot better now."

"I'm going to go play in Mr. Ivan's room!"

"Okay just don't get caught."

"I won't!"

He saw his kid run off and sighed. Sure, they'd rescued France but he was still completely out of it. He hadn't spoken to anyone since the operation that saved him. He would scream in the night and they had to not wear military uniforms around him. It was worrying. Would he be like this forever? He saw England walking by and passed the paperwork over and tried to keep walking but was grabbed by the arm by England.

"America…Do you…Do you think he'll get better? Do you think he'll remember me…Remember any of us?"

"England. Dude. Relax. He managed to recognize he wasn't in that hellhole of a prison anymore. He'll remember you without a problem. Just wait it out."

"Alright…I'm going to visit him…You know lilies are his favorite."

"Yeah I know. Don't fuck him too hard."

"ALFRED!"

He ran off laughing until he was out of sight. Then he pulled the letter out. It was nearly destroyed now, only the signature still intact. He knew Lovino was in hell now. He saw what mainland Europe looked like. He knew…He knew Lovino wasn't fighting with the Axis anymore. He saw the life gone from Feli's eyes. It was so cold…So distant. It was creepy. Had Germany done that to him or was he crying…It was hard to tell across the battlefield. He didn't care to know either. He knew it was bad but he just wanted Lovino back. He wanted to apologize for the fight they had when he left. He wanted to fix everything. Remembering it just seemed to make him even more worried.

"All you seem to care about is your damn money! Land of opportunity my ass!"

"I didn't ask for any lip from the hired help!"

"'Hired help'? Is that all I fucking am to you now? The god damn help?"

"Well I did hire you after all."

"I thought that was a favor from one nation to another! You segregate your people; you deny other people jobs! You are a hypocrite!"

"Fine if hate it so much LEAVE!"

"MAYBE I FUCKING WILL!"

God…It was stupid now that he thought back. That next year the stock market crashed and everything went to hell. He should have listened to Lovino. He should have done things different but he was blinded by the limelight. So great was his 'reign' and so brilliant his nation's glory that long was the shadow he cast. But such is the way of the limelight, it sweetly takes hold of the mind of its host. He was so foolish to listen to it and do nothing to stop his own destruction and the ruining of the only thing he held dear now other than Elijah. He slipped the piece of letter back into his jacket and continued walking as he thought about the horrors Lovino was going through.

"I want to die. I want to fucking die. Just end me already."

Lovino was done. He was ready to embrace death. The guards had made him so physically and emotionally dead he didn't even feel them violating him anymore. They never gave him enough time for wounds to close or for scars to form or fade. He could swear they even branded his ass with a swastika at some point. To think it used to be a Buddhist symbol of peace. Those days were definitely long over. He let out a shaky breath as they dragged him back to the barracks and Edward tried to clean up his wounds. He'd lost his letter at least three months ago. The guards had burned it in front of his eyes when he was caught reading it. He wanted to feel the crinkled paper and dream about the times he was happy. The times he was actually able to smile. He'd stopped crying all the time too. His tears were unable to fall. He had no tears left. What good would tears even do in a hell like this. Nothing. They would do nothing. He shuddered as Edward tried to clean up one of his arm wounds. His arm was definitely infected…He'd have to remove it before he was knocked unconscious by infection. He couldn't have that. They might use Edward instead of him! He needed to keep Edward safe. He had to keep Edward safe…Maybe it was safer if Edward didn't have to worry about being affiliated with him. Maybe he could end it all. He waited for Edward to finish and go off to do work before he limped his way to the electrified barbed wire. He'd seen so many other prisoners do it. Just grab and let it do the work. He grabbed it and felt the electricity go through him. He swore he could hear his grandfather's voice. He shut his eyes and actually smiled before he felt people pull him off. Wait…One of his arms was numb…It was numb wasn't it? When he opened his eyes he knew the truth. His arm was still hanging to the wire…It actually rotted off his body. He actually vomited at the sight and blacked out. When he awoke again he was bandaged up and he swore he could still feel his missing arm being tossed into a cremation oven. It was so hot…So fucking hot. It burned. Was this what France felt when he was guillotined? It was horrible. The more worrying question would be if he would grow it back. Could he grow it back? Would he need to have a prosthetic? God that thought made him scarily sick. He also realized he was back in the barracks again and Edward was sleeping beside him. He used to be so innocent. So pure. He heard a voice as he looked towards the barracks door. Feli! Feli was here! He was saved! He then saw Germany behind him. Shit. He watched them walk past.

"Now do you understand?"

"Yes Germany…Romano...Why did you go against Germany? Why…"

"He's no longer your brother…But if you want you can pick a prisoner to raise."

"Feli it's me! Romano! Your brother!"

"Brother? What brother?"

He shivered at that tone of voice. He was truly brainwashed. He saw Feli approach Edward and point to him. No…They couldn't! They couldn't take Edward from him! He tried to protect Edward but was shoved aside by Germany as Edward was picked up and carried away. Lovino finally found his tears as they flowed freely down his face as he cried out for his son. He promised to protect him! He promised to be his father! He promised! His last light was gone and he could see Germany smirking. He knew! That bastard knew! He couldn't stop shaking. He couldn't stop crying. All he could do was cry out. Eventually he just fell asleep where he lay, unable to even move. When he woke up again he had lost all hope. All will to fight. He let the guards do what they wanted. He let people use and abuse him. He didn't care anymore. He couldn't care anymore. He'd lost Edward. He lost the letter. He lost everything. What hope could he have. God had abandoned him. His brother had abandoned him. Everyone had abandoned him. He was going to die here. He knew he was going to die here. The barbed wire would be his tomb, his ashes spread across Poland by the wind. He would never see Alfred again. He would never see Edward again. He would never see the American sunshine again. He would never…He would never hold Alfred or apologize for his anger that night. He would never have a life again. He slept off his sadness and emptiness, praying for death. It was all he did anymore and all he ever would do now.

"America please remove your child from my room."

"Huh?"

"Your child is trapped in my closet. Please get him out. He could get hurt."

"OH SHIT!"

Alfred ran off to Russia's room to disentangle Elijah with a laugh. The kid seemed to be getting into all sorts of trouble now. Sure, the year was almost over and Elijah was still growing but at least he still had his childlike wonder. It was almost a beautiful sight as he dragged Elijah back to his room and smiled as he fixed his clothes.

"Sorry pops. I was looking for his porn."

"Wha- Elijah you are 12! You don't need porn!"

"But pops!"

"No Eli."

"Okay…"

He ruffled Elijah's hair and walked to the meeting room, sitting down and listening. They were going to head across Europe and liberate every country. He prayed Lovino was safe somewhere in hiding but he knew better. He had such a sense of dread he knew they would find him in a literal hell. He only half listened to the entire thing and as soon as it was over he went to the bar in the base and started drinking. He didn't even notice some of the Allies come in.

"Alfred that's enough. You have a kid to worry about."

"Yeah bro. You need to stop stress smoking and stress drinking. You have Eli to worry about."

"Sorry…I…Sorry."

He put down the glass and got up, walking away and right into France. He looked…Better. A lot better. France even smiled. His hair was short though. He didn't look good with short hair. England and Canada were behind Alfred. Did they recognize him? Were they okay? Alfred saw the tears rolling down his face as he moved forward and hugged them as best he could. He recognized them! They all knew his voice was too damaged to speak but they all knew now he was okay. Alfred had a new ray of hope. He turned away when he kissed Arthur. Alfred didn't need to see his dads kissing right now. He was just glad everything was finally okay.

"Escape was not our goal since it was so unrealistic. What we wanted was to survive, to live long enough to tell the world what had happened in Buchenwald." ― Jack Werber, Saving Children: Diary Of A Buchenwald Survivor And Rescuer