Title:A Tale by the Sisters Hameron Book 1
Chapter:7 of 18
Authors:jellybean30 and daisyb10
Rating:T
Warnings:Suitable for Teens. 13 years +
Pairings:House/Cameron, Wilson/Cuddy
Summary:A Housian adaptation of Shrek.
Disclaimer:We do not own House, M.D., Shrek, or any of their characters, nor do we profit from this story.

Chapter 7 – The Dragon Queen

House and Wilson stepped through the imposing doors of the tower cautiously. As House laid his hand against the smooth, cool surface of the smoky glass, an odd sense of deja vu swept over him. The doors swung shut behind him and he paused, trying to identify the source of this strangely familiar feeling. He knew he'd never been here before; hell, he hadn't left CRIPPLED in years, but he knew this place.

"House."

Wilson's tentative voice broke him free of the curious sensation. He looked around the entry way of the tower and the trepidation in Wilson's voice was suddenly apparent.

The shaded glass panes of the tower blocked any ambient light from outside, creating a dusky atmosphere inside. As House's eyes adjusted to the sudden lack of illumination, his gaze was steadily drawn toward the longest corridor extending from the foyer he stood in.

When his eyes had adjusted, House nodded at Wilson and the two made their way into the corridor. As they walked, House placed his cane carefully to avoid thudding. They passed a set of pillars on either side of the hall, each subtly lit by an overhead light. House ignored them, but Wilson stopped to examine one briefly.

Atop the pillar was a badly mangled briefcase, its contents splaying out from between its warped sides. Wilson peered more closely and saw employment contracts poking out like the stuffing from a neglected stuffed animal. He recognized the name on one of the letters as the administrator of a prestigious medical center in the mid west.

Wilson turned his head slowly and viewed the length of the corridor. It was lined with pillars on either side for as far as Wilson could see. They showcased briefcases, messenger bags and the occasional lap top computer, each damaged or destroyed in some fashion. These were the possessions of those who had come to get Cameron before them, abandoned in haste and fear.

"House, have you ever met Dr. Cuddy?" Wilson asked as he jogged to catch up to House, who had walked a bit ahead.

"No, just heard about her," House said. He stopped and looked back down the corridor. "There are no doors."

"She can't really be as bad as they say. Right?" Wilson asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"You're scared, aren't you?" House asked, rounding on Wilson with an amused look on his face.

"No, I'm not …scared. Just, well, they probably don't call her The Dragon Queen for nothing."

"Dragon Queen?" House smirked. "I thought they called her The Drag Queen. You know, because she used to be a man."

"Seriously?"

"NO!" House scoffed. "Why don't you go and find the elevators?"

"Why do we need the elevators?" Wilson asked following House dutifully back toward the main entrance.

"Cripple, not taking the stairs," House whacked Wilson sharply on the shin to emphasize his point.

Wilson hobbled behind House, mumbling obscenities under his breath. "I meant, why do we need to go up?"

"Because the princess will be in the highest room of the tallest tower," House answered immediately. He stopped and cocked his head uncertainly to one side. Why do I know that?

"How do you know?"

"I read it in a book once," House said slowly, looking around the tower again and trying desperately to remember something. Resolutely he shook his head and began walking again. "Wish I knew where…."

Wilson struck a path down the left side of the hall, while House followed more slowly, carefully taking in the details of his surrounding in the hopes it would jog his memory.

"Why don't you go find the elevator … cripple not taking the stairs … like I've ever made him take the stairs … grumpy jerk … sending me off to find the elevators like I'm some secretary … and where the hell are the …"

DING!

Over Wilson's head, a cleverly concealed display lit up indicating the elevator's return to the first floor.

"Elevators," Wilson announced.

"Well, at least we can get to the princess," House said. "But where's the …"

"Dragon Queen?" a voice purred as the elevator doors slid open.

Wilson gasped as a figure stepped to the front of the elevator. The dim glow of the security lights revealed a black patent leather stiletto heel. Wilson and House followed the leg attached to that shoe up to a blood red pencil skirt encasing sensuous hips. A black satin blouse with a deep v-neck topped the skirt, enhancing already impressive cleavage. A mane of silky, raven colored locks cascaded over the shoulders residing in the blouse and framed the face of the infamous Dragon Queen. She was regal and sensual. Deadly.

"Dragon Cuddy … I mean, Dr. Queen," Wilson stammered. Cuddy smirked dangerously as she appraised Wilson and marked him as easy prey. Her eyes slid to House and his lecherous leer faded. Certain he couldn't get past her using any conventional method; House did what House does best.

Hooking Wilson's shin with the handle of his cane, he gave his best and only friend a good shove, straight into the dragon's lair, metaphorically speaking. Wilson flailed his arms mightily, but finding no purchase he tumbled forward into the elevator, taking Cuddy with him. The doors slid shut. House limped away quickly, counting on the time it would take Cuddy and Wilson to untangle their limbs to provide for his escape.

Escape.

House limped out the doors and into the blinding sun. He squinted and let his eyes adjust while his mind was whirling. He needed to get away from the Dragon Queen. He needed to get back to his lab. If he didn't get the princess, his lab would once again be full of sick and annoying patients. He had to get the princess. The princess was in her lab at the top of the tower. The Dragon Queen was currently in the elevator, his only way of getting up the …

House eyed the tower thoughtfully. His eyes followed the walkway winding around the building. He cocked his head to one side and let his gaze slide over to his motorcycle.

&&&&&

Cuddy and Wilson struggled to disentangle themselves, but not before Wilson felt a hand not so subtly grab his behind. Finally the two were free of each other, and Wilson quickly retreated to the far side of the elevator.

"Some friend he is, throwing me to dogs," Wilson said. Then he blushed and stammered on. "Metaphorically speaking, of course. I don't mean you're a dog. Far from it. You're more feline, I would say." He continued stuttering and generally making a fool himself, all the while desperately searching the wall behind him for the button to open the elevator.

"There's definitely a graceful quality about the way you move, especially in that skirt," Wilson continued, his eyes lighting up as his fingers fell upon the door panel. He turned as quickly as possible to find the door open button, but not quickly enough.

In just those few seconds, The Dragon Queen descended upon him.

&&&&&

The engine rumbled deafeningly as House inched his way forward to the bottom of the walkway. He paused for only a second or two before releasing the brake and coaxing the bike up the formidable hill. He crept up the winding path, slowly gaining speed until the bike was swallowing the space before him like a parched desert dweller swallows water. The angle of the turn tightened increasingly as House drove higher and higher.

He reached the top of the path and braked hard, halting just shy of crashing through the smoky glass pane that reflected his image. Slightly dizzy from the winding path and towering height, House removed his helmet and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He needed to get to the princess, but couldn't see any way to get into the lab.

The engine rumbled, and House noticed a mild tremor in his mirror self. Twisting the throttle experimentally, House watched the glass shake more obviously. He smirked, and revved the engine several times, enjoying the rippling effect the cacophony had on the glass.

A door panel slid open and a beautiful young woman stepped into the frame. Her honey colored hair was held back in a thick, lustrous braid that fell over one shoulder. She was dressed simply and plainly, but that did nothing to hide her beauty.

"Who is making all that racket?"

...JellyBean30