Disclaimers: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines and movies context from Marvel movies Captain America: The First Avenger and The Avengers. Joanna Splendore is my original character.
Author's Note 7: Thanks for each review, message, favorite and follow! I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!
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Chapter 7 - Reminiscences... of a relationship
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Life never felt so good.
Steve found his life's path in Art School. His talent was appreciated even more; he started to work as a freelance illustrator. He had a future ahead of him and the love of his life by his side. He had never imagined he'd be happy this way, and become even more protective of Joanna. It was charming and amusing at the same time. He still couldn't be the provider he wished to be, but he helped her in all ways.
Joanna was an excellent cook. In those times of shortage of food, when people worked hard struggling to keep their jobs, her homemade food was a blessing. With few ingredients she managed to make nutritious and inexpensive tasty meals. Combining her French and Sicilian legacy she was also able to make the most exquisite dishes to a more refined clientele. But she was too introverted to sell anything, so Steve took charge of the deals. Not only was she paid more properly, but the number of debtors became zero. Of course, he wouldn't ever touch a penny.
"These are your savings."
Meanwhile, Joanna's work at the hospital was becoming increasingly difficult with poor working conditions. It was a cold autumn night, but Steve was waiting to walk her home. She arrived really upset and told him about a discussion with her supervisor, who wanted to increase her already long hours. He clenched his jaw and she knew that he was furious. He wanted to shield her from all harm, but above all, he'd always respect her choices. He would never demand or force her to do anything, even if he thought it was for her own good. He carried her bag and they walked home in complete silence.
After dinner, Steve took Joanna's hands, and kissed them softly. His touch was always gentle, but powerful for its meaning - she belonged to him and melted instantly as she always did. He knew it, and gave her one of his breathtaking smiles, releasing her hands as if to free her from any influence. When he spoke he was extra careful to assure her that he'd be at her side anyway, but he said that her will was the only one that mattered on the subject.
"What do you most enjoy doing?"
Joanna would do anything for Steve, and here he was again, asking about what she wanted. He questioned if she won't be happier if she stopped to work at the hospital and just cook. Taking into account all the risks, benefits, she'd be less tired and make more money, "You can have your own restaurant someday." As always, he was completely sincere and accurate on his assessment. The faith he had on her was inspiring – it had already changed her. Now he was making her dream of being more than the simple passive woman she was raised to be.
Steve understood Joanna's fears and how difficult it was for her to try something new like this. At that moment, she was fragile and insecure, but was relying on him to face this new challenge. He reached out for her, and she grabbed his hand. Together. As scary as it was, he gave her the support and trust she needed - she quit the hospital. Steve couldn't be more proud of her.
Joanna knew that Steve was one of a kind, and couldn't feel more blessed for having him in her life. Her young hero was the most inspiring person she'd ever saw. Talking with clients or handling suppliers, it was a joy to see how he would bring the best out everyone around. He had an ease way in dealing with people, leading them in a natural way, by example, not by force.
Steve was the most faithful friend and passionate lover, and yet, he never ceased to amaze Joanna.
The holidays were the happiest both spent in years. Being home never felt so good. It was never enough to be together. They honored the past, praying for their missing ones. Joanna's care and love attenuated the effects of the winter, always ruthless to Steve's health.
She also received a few orders to make festive desserts. Although men weren't expected to help in the kitchen, everything about Joanna fascinated Steve, so he actually learned a few things just to be close to her. She put him to knead the dough, but when she came closer to check if it was already elastic enough, he teased her, by simply caressing her hair, running his fingers through her silky black curls. Because, in truth, even knowing how shy she was, it was just too hard for him to stay away from her. The gentle brush on her skin was enough to send shivers up her spine and the next thing she knew, she was surrendered in his arms.
Redder than the tomatoes on the table, she made another rule; he could help her, but always keeping a safe distance. Steve smiled broadly and she knew he wouldn't. He still loved to make her blush. Somehow it will make Joanna even happier.
They dreamed with the future, together in complete joy.
1938, February 14th
To celebrate their first Valentine's Day ever, Steve took Joanna to that Monday matinee showing of Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - the first full-length classical animation feature film. She was delighted, and he felt proud of himself for making her so happy. He embraced her and held her hand during the whole movie; she felt the most loved woman in the world.
Back home, Joanna made them a special dinner with Steve's favorite dessert. She loved to cook, but cook for him was what she enjoyed doing most, absolutely. He ate everything, as usual, and waited for her to come and kiss his cheek. Then he took from under the table his last gift, and she was taken aback by a bouquet of red roses with a card that he had made especially for her.
"Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow."
She was too happy to be embarrassed and broke one of her own unspoken rules – she kissed him avidly in the middle of the living room, while he held her in his arms. His soft touch was all that takes to make her his, and he carried her to their bed. Because of the full moon the bedroom wasn't in complete darkness, and Steve could see the sparkles in Joanna's eyes.
"I only need you," he kissed her like the first time and she fell in love again. His hands knew every inch of her flawless body, every way to make her come alive under his touch. He loved to know her wishes so clearly. Steve felt fulfilled, a real man, with the most wonderful woman in the world in his arms. Every night with Joanna was unforgettable.
They were living a perfect fairy tale. But in real life, what happens after happily-ever-after?
1938, June
Steve finished his Freshman year with the higher grades. But his time of full happiness ended when he received a letter from Art School. Due to the country's deep recession his scholarship wasn't renewed. Since he couldn't afford the college tuition fees and he'd have to stop studying.
This had a tough impact on him. It was a step back in their dreams. His young soul was devastated. Steve sat there on the couch with the letter in his hands, motionless. But his expression was one of deep regret.
Joanna hurried to sit by his side and he gave her the letter. Immediately she said they could use her savings to pay for his education, but Steve didn't accept it. She got up very upset and started pacing from one side to the other, muttering, in her Italian mood. He gently took her hand and she stopped. It was impossible for her to be mad at him when all he needed to do was to touch her. He asked her to sit again. His voice was trembling but his eyes were completely dry, making Joanna alarmed.
"Please... don't ask me that."
And he continued saying he couldn't deny her anything. But there were things a man could never accept. I need to be the man here. He knew that he wasn't worthy of her yet, but he needed to win on his own merits. He needed to do the right thing.
"I don't deserve you."
She never saw him so defeated. She tried to swallow a lump in her throat, blinking back tears. Heartbrokenly, she understood that there was nothing she could do to convince him otherwise. She had to respect his choices as he always respected hers. Even a choice based on pure male pride, but it was a fundamental part of who he was. They were both raised to respect gender roles, but her love for Steve was so huge that, for once, she found these traditions really ridiculous. But she could never fight him – she wouldn't make him feel less-than-a-man, like he felt his whole life.
She put her hand near to his heart, struggling to speak between her incessant tears, and said, "Don't you ever say that you are not worthy of me."
That moment, he needed her, so she forgot all about her shames. She pulled him to her arms and kissed him. He returned the kiss but kept still. She continued kissing and hugging him, talking about all amazing things he did for her, how he inspired her and how she'd be lost without him. "Il mio eroe." That she had hope that things were going to be better, and he'd find a great job, "You can fight anything." Until he was holding her, and smiling through her kisses. Once again, she made him feel better. Of course her kisses helped him a lot too.
But in the days that followed, Steve maintained the absolute control, without blaming anyone or venting his understandable anger and frustration. He was holding everything inside and Joanna was worried.
1938, July
Steve's 20th birthday was coming, and Joanna didn't know what she could do to cheer him up - if there was anything that could make him to feel a little better.
They were laying in their bed in total darkness, wrapped in each other arms, when he broke the usual silence, "Can you make me mom's cake again?" He was almost sleepy, but she noticed the slight tremor in his voice, and simply nodded her head in agreement. She remembered how emotional he got last year.
On the 4th, she made the 'bleu-blanc-rouge' cake, and he wept silently like last time. That was the only way he would allow himself to cry - for his mother. She took him to bed, and he let her nest him until he fell asleep, completely wasted. When he woke up he was in a good mood, smiling, and ate the whole cake.
Joanna learned - she'd make the cake every time Steve needed, and he'd never had to ask her again.
Unfortunately, things were far from getting better. Steve kept working as a freelancer illustrator, but only got a small job at a Newspaper.
1939, September 1st
The World War II started in Europe and Joanna was worried for her family's safety.
Steve was 21 years old and still without perspective of change in his future. What frustrated him most was the fact of having to hide his relationship with Joanna. He wouldn't ever taint her reputation and since they lived together, not even their romantic involvement could be visible - to the outside world they were just family friends, business partners.
He worked hard and achieved agreements for her to provide fine desserts for a few exquisite restaurants, so that even with any crisis, Joanna, at 27, continued working and earning.
But still, Steve needed more.
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End Note 7: Thanks for reading!
It's the middle of the story, and things are going to be difficult. It'll take me more time to publish because I need more time between the chapters. When I wrote the story it was like writing a script. Now that I'm actually publishing the chapters it's like shooting the scenes... I'd never imagine that I would write such an emotional story... Anyway, it's harder than I anticipated…
The mistakes are all mine. Many thanks to Winterbeauti who is always inspiring me!
Feedback is the best way to improve. So, please, review it!
xxoo Mari
Ref: Movie verse, Steve's time line from SHIELD files - 1939-1943 Steve worked as Newspaper boy
