Chapter 7


Cold…

Why is it still cold…

And Heaven smells like…leaves.


I never expected to wake up.

It was another part of the forest. There were flowers and various pods, but not an anti-rat in sight. It wasn't Heaven, but it wasn't the hell I blacked out on either.

"Where is this?"

"The Southern sector," I jumped as the reply came from behind me and to the right.

It was the Doctor – hands in pockets and leaning against a tree. A slight smile upon his face. If I ever lived through a plane crash, a sinking ship, or the world's end, I wouldn't be as relieved as seeing this self-righteous alien's face.

"What? You didn't think that I would actually leave you here for good?" He pulled away from the tree. "No, no. I rather like you too much for that, despite your stubbornness," and grinned wider, pausing after a moment to look North with a scowl.

"What did you do when I was gone?" he asked, questioning me with a look. "I had to stun those creatures to stop their progress. They'll be a little confused when they wake up, but nothing else."

My jaw had practically hit the floor. It was like nothing had happened. Where was the angry, live-by-my-rules-or-suffer Doctor?

"I…you came back," and tried to shake the rest of the cobwebs from my mind. Why didn't he leave? He never reneged on a promise. I stayed silent for a moment longer, while the Doctor tilted his head in an attempt to see past my bangs.

Finally, "I think those lizard-rats respond to vibrations. Stomping. Screaming." I pointed to my cheek, "Thanks, by the way."

The Doctor barely paid the comment attention and went to pick up a bundle from the ground. "You were supposed to use the bark. The sap was too concentrated." He straightened up and tossed the bundle, "I brought you actual clothes and shoes while I was gone, rather than that," he flicked a hand at my sweats and slippers, rolling his eyes in mock disgust.

It was a little demeaning, but true nonetheless. I looked at the worn, muddied slippers and tried not to evoke the image of myself, the first human explorer of this world, as a civilized nightmare.

"We need to talk. I'll be back in a minute," and he went inside the Tardis, hidden from sight behind a cluster of trees.

I took this as my cue and began rifling through the bundle. The clothes that he brought looked like a normal T-Shirt and jeans, with some off-brand sneakers. Not much better than sweats in terms of fashion, but my practical side was squealing in glee. I took the opportunity to find my own cluster of trees and changed.

"I'm coming out!" The Doctor exited the ship backwards with a hand over his eyes.

I called out, "I'm already done. You can turn around."

He twisted and surveyed the scene, "Not bad. It seems that you actually have a shape." The Doctor was already putting his hands up to ward off my protest. I settled for a glare.

"So…this situation that you've created," and he waved a hand in the air. "Are you finally ready to tell the truth so that I can help you? Or are you making friends with the wildlife?" He raised his eyebrows.

Repulsive little monsters…

"Ha! No thanks to you, I've become a local celebrity around here. It seems that everything wants a piece of this," and I pinched some skin. "For lunch. Even the friggin' tree sap!"

"That one wasn't my fault," he shook a finger and doubled back to a tree near the Tardis, pulling off a few loose pieces of bark and pocketing them. "And what have we learned in the meantime? That I keep my promises." He turned quickly. "I left you here. Now is the time when you start keeping your own word."

I was getting too tired to argue. Maybe it's time to consider it… At least another night on this icy rock, or just telling him. I would have mentioned it sooner or later. Why not now?

"Sit down, Doctor."

His eyes widened, apparently having not expected this outcome, and sat down on a smooth stone nestled in the moss. "What am I supposed to be bracing for? You're not old enough, not to mention manly or evil enough, to try the "Doctor, I am your father" line," he joked.

"Doctor," I ignored his attempt at humor to search for the right phrasing. "I come from a universe that houses the authors of your life. There were several from the '60s, not to mention those responsible for your current personality. Your entire existence and litany of worlds, along with Rose's parallel universe, was sparked from their imagination and set to paper for a television show in England."

Blank stare.

"Well, this explains where the, "your Writer" comment sprang from. This other universe." He spent a few seconds searching my face for something. The truth, perhaps. His brown eyes stared into mine, and he asked, "You're really being honest, aren't you?"

I nodded, not taking my eyes away.

The Doctor looked back down at the ground and bit the inside of his lip, mulling over this new idea. "These people," he began. "These writers of mine, do they live in this universe as well? They may be able to answer our questions about who is searching so desperately for me…"

Oh…why didn't that occur to me sooner?

It took me a second to realize the flaw. "It mostly depends on if they decided in advance to ever write themselves into the story line. I don't believe that was the case," I paused to make sure that the Doctor was focused. "That would mean that this universe exists solely for you and any companions or extras that there ever was or will be in this series. My version of your writers, we'll call them Primes, all have alternate interests, even lives, in this universe. Even if the Primes placed one or more of their alternate personas into the series' story line, your versions wouldn't be able to help us. They would have normal lives, most likely so that the Primes could be extras in the background for kicks."

I stopped at the look on his face.

"Kicks," he repeated. "That's just it."

He hesitated, "You mean to tell me," and began to count off on each finger, "that every single person I've lost, every single life destroyed, every battle that could have been won, was done for your world's amusement?"

Oh God…

The Doctor looked at me in horror and I felt my heart break.

"We couldn't have known…" I took a step towards him.

He sprung from the ground and backed away in haste, almost losing his balance, and looking for all the world like I was his own personal demon. I couldn't get within 6 feet before he retreated further and further into the woods. His face was pale and hands shaking in either grief or anger. We locked eyes for a split second.

Confusion. Hurt. Mourning. Fury.

I stifled a sob, "I warned you. I tried."

He stood still at the tree line, hands now clenched, eyes firmly on the ground. His head slowly raised and I was permitted one last, fleeting gaze before he melded into the woods, leaving darkness in his wake.