Episode Two: Problematic Pony

Star wrinkled her nose at the proverbial plate of slop she was served for lunch, overcome with a bout of homesickness. The closest thing she could imagine to this on Mewni was corned cream, but even that smelled delicious. She wasn't entirely sure that this grey goop was even edible.

Her first day on Earth had been a Friday, and she was relieved to learn there would not be lessons for a few more days.

The week's end (or was it just weekend?) had been surprisingly pleasant, largely in part due to Marco's parents. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz were unbelievably kind, hospitable and gracious hosts. They seemed to swoon with joy whenever Star talked about Mewni and the ways of royalty, but she learned to avoid the topic after a few days unless directly asked about it. Marco made a face whenever the subject came up, and she found herself on the receiving end of more than a few hard glares across the living room or at the kitchen table.

Other than the occasional cheeky remark, the pair had quickly warmed up to each other. The Princess had a desire for perfection, which was an impossible goal in the Earth dimension anyways, but it was only made more difficult by Marco's presence. She was glad for his friendship, of course, but there was something inexplicable about him that was just… off? Different? She couldn't explain it, and that frustrated her. Star was proud of her literacy and, raised-to-rule, she was proficient in speechcraft, but something about Marco eluded her capacity to weave metaphors or cast a fair and impartial eye.

He was… the product of his actions, and those were more foreign to her than the newness of his dimension. He was rough around the edges, tired of her by default, prone to cursing and wary of manners. Somehow, he was dangerous and flirtatious, and Star wasn't sure she could ever get used to that.

Still, Star could detect the occasion spark of sincerity in his smile or the copper corners of his eyes, and beneath it, Marco was human like everyone else here. The flirty winks or lingering smile were certainly a part of the persona, seemingly crafted just to get on her nerves, and that actually made him easier to tolerate. He was trying to be friendly in his own strange way, and she could at least appreciate that.

Star laughed lightly to herself, now invested in the memories of the weekend and neglecting her lunch entirely.

After they returned home and Star met the Diazes proper, Marco had brought her to her new room which was entirely too drab for her liking. After a quick spell to create a more fitting chamber for a Princess, Marco still seemed a little dumbfounded by her magic. That was at least a little flattering, Star remembered, remembering the brightness in his eyes when she completed the spell.

But… that's exactly her problem with him. He was too easy to indulge, and she let her sense of responsibility be eclipsed in the interest of impressing him, and she improperly magicked a small litter of puppies. Her recklessness had granted them irregular lasers that erupted from their tiny, cute little eyes, but Marco couldn't have been more pleased with them. Against her better judgement, she let him and the Diazes keep them.

After that, she carefully tucked away her wand and promised herself to use as little as magic as possible while on Earth, and insisted that she and Marco do something else. At that, he said he could show her something almost as impressive: the Internet.

She met Alfonso and Ferguson, Marco's longtime friends, via the magic connectivity between devices. It was sort of like her compact mirror, which was highly advanced magic for Mewni, and the Earth's equivalent was impressive.

"So how did they get in there? Do you scan your bodies? Or is there a portal?"

He had laughed at her when she asked that. Her heartbeat quickened at the memory, almost flushing from embarrassment.

"No, Princess. They're sitting at a computer like we are. You'll meet them at school on Monday, but I figured we'd ease into the intros, hmm? If you're going to be my friend, then you gotta be cool with these guys."

She almost giggled, remembering the way their little avatars on the screen waved at her. Alfonzo and Ferguson. She would remember their names.

"So, we're friends now?" She remembered catching him off-guard with that, but he puffed out his chest and replied with an annoyed roll of his eyes.

"Hey, if we can beat up monsters together, then we're probably alright."

Luckily, Ludo and his gang hadn't shown up during the whole weekend, and her "Earth life" was going relatively smoothly.

Up until Monday, that is.

Midday. Lunchtime… She frowned down at her tray. She used to love lunch time on Mewni.

Marco noticed her reluctance to eat, pushing and scraping the sides of the grey grease that was some poor excuse for food and sighed in exasperation. He pushed his packed lunch towards her, not keen on listening to her complain during his only break in the day.

"For the love of Macki Hand, just eat this."

Star looked up, surprised, and accepted the crumpled paper. She pressed the wrinkled brown texture between her fingers, eyes narrowed in scrutiny.

"Is it… edible?"

"You're hopeless, Princess." Marco snatched the strange blob back and - oh. It opened. There was something inside, geometrical food pointed in every direction.

"Oh, well," she paused to clear her throat when Marco passed back the bag. "Thank you for the… triangle... food."

Marco stood up and stretched his arms over his head, cracking his half-gloved fingers in the process. That was something Star did not understand about his get-up - what was the point of wearing gloves on only part of your hands? Earth was a strange place indeed.

"I'm going… outside. I'll be back in like, fifteen. Think you can survive without me?" He grinned, knowing the insinuation would bother her. He added to the effect by leering over her with an expression that was the image of condescension.

Star turned her head to the side and pointedly closed her eyes, brow drawn together.

"Of course I can! Don't hurry back." She replied, snickering a bit to at the end to betray her attempt to be mad at him. He turned away with a laugh of his own, heading towards the back exit of the school parking lot.

On his way outside, Marco heard a familiar voice around the corner of the science hallway. Jackie Lynn Thomas, he knew it immediately.

With an automatic scowl, Marco threw up his hood and continued walking, pretending not to notice her when he passed the corner and made a beeline for the door. If she noticed him passing, she didn't say anything, and he was just fine with that.

Once he was outside properly, Marco let out a low breath of air and removed his hood, his hand lingering at his ear to fiddle with one of his piercings. This was probably his favorite place on the school grounds, at least during the warmer months.

The shadows bled through the bleachers overhead, casting daubs of dim light along the back exit, punctured by a few delicate rays of sunlight through the metal panelling overhead. An occasional bee or insect would buzz by, humming a tune to the last sighs of a summer breeze and continued on their way through the comfortable California air. Marco took a few deep inhales of the refreshing, energized oxygen that welcomed him before making his way to the bleacher stairs.

"Hey, Janna? You out here?" He called as he went up the steps. She was the only other person who smoked regularly and he hadn't spotted her at lunch, so he expected her to be outside in their usual place.

Nope. No Janna today.

With a shrug, he moved down the bench to sit comfortably, legs propped up against the metal bars that kept fans from spilling over into the field during a football game. No one came out here at this time of day, except for him and sometimes Janna, and he preferred to keep it that way.

It was simple. Quiet.

Unlike his life lately, which was… loud and complicated. Unpredictable.

Marco lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, letting the smoke heat his chest with toxic tendrils, slow on the exhale of monoxide into the atmosphere.

It's not that he didn't enjoy Star's company so far. The past three days had been a sort of mini vacation from the real world, just her and his parents, spending time together at his house. He showed her movies, and she showed him a spell or two. She was interested in simple things, like the bathroom and the variety of cacti that grew around their house, whereas he couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. That didn't stop her from coming in and bothering him, talking to him until he eventually got up. She was gullible and easy to annoy, but at the same time, unafraid to throw a few cheeky remarks back to him. There was a sort of untenable charm she carried with her wherever she went, between her wide smile and soft voice and enchanting perfume, she was just nice. Easy to be with, easy to know, easy to talk to.

Too easy, really. He blamed Star for being stupidly adorable, because he wasn't interested in making any more friends. Caring about other people took work, he thought wryly, and that's how he got burned before.

Marco ashed his cigarette carelessly over the metal seats with a rising memory, glad he was over-and-done with Jackie. That had been a rollercoaster few months and it just ended up making things more difficult on everyone - their chemistry was all wrong, too strong and inherently destructive. They brought out the bad qualities in each other, and even if it was fun, it didn't feel right. Unfortunately, they had to still see each other everyday in a few classes and in the halls, and it was always a little uncomfortable.

He suspected more than once she wanted to get back together, judging by the occasional text or wave when they crossed paths, but she also might just be trying to be friendly. Either way, Marco wasn't interested. Between Star and Janna, he didn't need anymore girls in his circle to sully the reputation he had earned. Janna was tough, while Star on the other hand...

It had only taken half a full school day with Star sitting beside him in class, talking and sharing smiles and private jokes for the rumors to spread. Janna had assured him in the short break after biology that she had no idea what he could be talking about, but he highly doubted that. Gossip was practically the girl's freakin' middle name. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if she was the source of the rumors.

Whatever the case, Marco wasn't going to indulge. Star was too oblivious to understand the context of the whispers that followed them into each class, and he was making a pointed effort not to acknowledge them outside the passing comment with Janna - that would show he cared too much. If kids wanted to think he and Star were together in any sort of romantic way, then -

A loud shearing sound disrupted his train of thought, and Marco had to scramble to not drop his cigarette. Cursing, he patted off some unwanted ash that had fallen onto his jeans while he looked for the source of the noise. It was like a cross between an extremely loud zipper and a paper shredder.

"The fuck was that…?" He said to no one in particular, looking around the field. It came from the Eastern end, near the goalpost, and he had to blink and rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

A portal, much like the one that those monsters had escaped into from the other day, tore a hole through the fibers of their dimension a few inches above the turf. The color of a swamp, the tear swirled menacingly, and from within two large black figures with horror-style masks emerged. They looked at each other, presumably exchanging a few words that were beyond Marco's perception.

"What the…" he muttered, ducking down and spying through the metal grating, watching them stalk away from the school after a moment. They were evidently going somewhere, but it was away, so that much was good.

Marco huffed angrily and stood to finish his smoke. Whatever those things were, it was clear there was at least some connection to Star - up until three days ago, no one appeared through ominous interdimensional portals in the middle of Echo Creek - but he wasn't about to follow them either. He had barely gotten away with lying to his parents on Friday about cutting with Star, and he didn't need any extra trouble.

Star, after all, was trouble enough.

The princess munched on a few of the pointed consumables Marco had left her with, sighing contently with each one. Even if the seating in the cafe was uncomfortable and there was no housemaids or footmen to serve her, she didn't have any trouble enjoying the snack. By herself, she could study the strange flaxen texture of each bite, sticky and cold in her hands but stiff and crunchy on her tongue. Bizarre, but delicious, Star focused on the task of eating rather than the creeping anxiety of passing eyes and students walking by. She told Marco she would be fine without him - she would be - she survived the whole first afternoon on her own. She didn't need him, no, but it was at least nice to have a sort of "first line of defense" between her and anyone who had tried to talk to her in class. He kept away strangers, suggested who was worth giving the time of day, and did not once pressure her to act in a way that made her uncomfortable.

Except right now, without him, she was a bit uncomfortable.

"Star!"

She jolted when a voice appeared behind her, though it sounded friendly enough. Still, she jumped, but chalked it up to being immersed in how absolutely-ridiculously-magically delicious these silly triangles were.

"Mar - oh? H-hi, Janna. I thought you were Marco." Star laughed awkwardly as the girl gave her a three fingered, nonchalant wave and sat down next to her at the table.

That made Janna snort as she pulled out her cell phone, typing into the small screen.

"I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered."

Star grinned sheepishly, but wasn't sure how to reply.

Janna continued to make easy conversation. "How are you adjusting?"

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Star took a moment to consider how to answer.

"Things are definitely better than when I last saw you. I think taking the… the weekend," she said, emphasizing the word. She hoped she said it correctly. "To get settled in helped. Marco's parents are so sweet."

"Oh yeah, the Diaz's are the bomb," replied the dark-haired girl, nodding slowly while she continued to text. Star was impressed with her ability to multitask; Marco couldn't text and talk at the same time.

"Thanks again for passing me that note on Friday," Star said. "I was really, um… nervous? It was a lot to take in at once."

Janna eyed Star's two lunches, one clearly prepared by school and the other by Marco. "No prob, Bob. I didn't expect you to be from a different dimension, but still, that's got to be some sort of crazy jet-lag."

Star was going to ask her to elaborate (and remind her of her name), but stopped when Janna shot an arm into the air and waved.

"Oh, hey guys - over here!" As an aside to Star, Janna added, "Have you met Alfonso and Ferg yet?"

Star arranged her face into a beaming smile, determined not to be nervous to meet these "friends" of Marco's face-to-face.

"Yes! We met on Saturday on the… world wide web." Star narrowed her eyes. The expression gave her the appearance of hostility when, in reality, she was really just trying to imagine a spider web that connected people through their phones and computers. And Marco called her weird.

Janna stopped to chuckle, trying to mentally prepare herself for this conversation. "Don't get too excited… They're abuncha dorks."

Star's smile fell a few degrees, but she perked up as soon as they sat down across from the girls.

The thin, olive-skinned boy spoke first. He had a kind smile and wore glasses, dressed in a very well-suited shade of blue. "Hey! You're Star Butterfly!"

Star nodded and opened her mouth, but Ferguson held a hand up before she could respond. He leaned close and lowered his tone, so Star moved in, straining to hear him over the din of students.

"Hi Star, quick, while Marco's gone. I wanna prank him. Wanna help out? Don't be weirded out, okay?"

She shot a sidelong look towards Janna who shrugged, so Star tentatively nodded. "Um, okay… What kind of prank?"

"Well," Ferguson said as he leaned back, taking a bite of his own gray mush. "I want to see if we can annoy him. Nothing physical, just, something to get under his skin. What do you say?"

Star opened her mouth, surprised and a little uneasy at the suggestion, but then she pressed her lips closed again. Marco had tried to annoy her on purpose since she arrived, and it could be fun to try to get back to him… but it would also be really, really unfair to take a jab at someone's feelings, even someone like Marco.

With a frown, she shook her head shyly. "I don't know... I don't think I could do that to Marco."

Alfonso nudged Ferguson in between a bite of food. "I told you it was a bad idea!"

He paused and looked at Star sympathetically. "I told him it was a bad idea."

Beside her, Janna snickered quietly and mumbled something under her breath, so Star gave her a quizzical look.

"What?"

Janna looked thoughtfully at the ceiling for a second, only for her face to morph into a mischievous grin a moment later. She put her phone away properly and kicked her feet up on the table. Star, meanwhile, was taken aback by her indecent display and her utter disregard for modesty.

She's wearing a skirt, for corn's sake! And there are boys… Literally. Right. There.

She felt herself turn pink in the face for Janna's sake; if she wasn't going to be ashamed of her own impudence, Star would have to do it on her behalf.

"Look, Star," Janna said. "Lesson one for your time on Earth. Never turn down a good prank. Do you think Marco would have given it a second thought?"

That made her clench her jaw, suddenly unsure. It just didn't feel right to do, but, these were Marco's friends. They knew him far better than she did, and if it truly was harmless…

"Okay… maybe…?" Star conceded with a small smile, and Ferguson and Janna cheered.

They laid the plot out, and once she had an understanding of what they had in mind, it seemed shockingly simple. On Mewni, she could have expected someone to lose a leg or get bitten by a Terror Warbler on even the most timid of pranks, so just a casual little farce seemed totally innocuous by comparison.

Alfonso, however, looked even more unsure. He tried a second time to convince them otherwise, this time appealing to Star's initial reservations.

"I don't know guys, Marco can get really...protective."

With an exasperated expression, Janna gave Alfonso a look, resting her chin against the palm of her hand. She gestured towards Star, appraising her with bright eyes, and then raised an eyebrow towards the skinny boy.

"Maybe, but if it's Star we're talking about, I think you mean jealous."

Star bit her lip before popping another triangle into her mouth. "Jealous?"

Janna flashed a grin at the girl, which only confused her more, before she put an arm over Star's shoulder and squeezed. "Listen, Star, you've got a lot to learn about Earth. And I'm not talking about math."

Thoroughly confused and a little overwhelmed by everyone on Earth's insistence on touching her so nonchalantly, Star replied with a pout. "But… I'm really good at math..."

All three of them seemed to find that response amusing, earning Star laughter around the table.

Something about what she said must have been funny, even if she wasn't sure why, so she grinned with a little more confidence and ate another triangle, glad to be getting along okay with these humans.

Her first social interaction without Marco… and it went well. Really well. Maybe she could do this after all.

"So, where is Marco, anyways? Lunch is usually his best subject." Ferguson lobbed the question to the whole group, but when all eyes turned to Star, it was clear that they expected her to answer.

"Oh. Umm..." she paused, putting down the gooey-yet-somehow-crisp triangle so she could answer properly. "He said he was… going outside! He said he'd be back in about fifteen minutes."

Star grinned proudly at the others, pleased with herself for remembering. They all exchanged a knowing look at that, though it went unnoticed by Star, too busy humming and enjoying another bite of Marco's angular snack.