BELLA

I felt terrible about yelling at Jasper and Alice. I knew they were only trying to help me through this. To be completely honest, I wanted nothing more than to accept that help. However, I knew that I didn't derserve it. I deserve any kind of love and support from them. Especially since Edward's death was my fault. I know the Cullens wouldn't have agreed but that was the truth of the matter.

If I had just stayed away from Jacob like Edward had told me, none of this would've happened. But, no, I had to fight Edward and insist that Jacob coould be trusted. Edward gave in because he hated to see me unhappy. Now, look were all of this got us. How could I have been so stupid and naive? How could I have actually thought that Jacob loved me enough to let me go? He was way too fucking selfsih for that. Now the Cullens had lost someone they loved dearly and it was all my fault.

Yet, here they were doing their best to take care of me. They brought me back from the meadow so I wouldn't have to be alone. Jasper used his powers to keep my emotions in check. And Alice was being as supportive as ever with everything. Even Rose seemed to be a little more caring and understanding than usual. To bad I didn't deserve any of it.

I deserved nothing more than to have been left alone in that field. Forced to fight my own way out and deal with the loss of Edward myself. I mean, I was the reason he was dead after all.

In fact, my presense in Forks has done nothing but complicate the Cullens' lives. Things would be a whole lot better for them if I stayed. At the very least they wouldn't have to risk their lives to save mine anymore. They could stay together and be happy forever.

Besides, I didn't think that being around them would do me much good anyways. I mean, seeing and spending everyday with them would be too much of a reminder of what I had lost and everything that I had to give up.

Though, I deserved the constant reminder of the pain, the Cullens didn't deserve the constant danger that having me around caused. And I didn't even go looking for it. It usually found me. Well, it could find me this time but I was going to leave the Cullens out of it. They didn't need to be burden by me anymore.

Which is why I decided to go away and stay away forever. I wouldn't forget that they existed but I wouldn't let myself cross their path again. They shouldn't have to have to deal with me anymore. I wouldn't make them.

I climbed out of the bed, about an hour after yelling at Jasper and Alice, cleaned up the mess of food and dishes on the floor to the best of my ability and wrote the Cullens a nice long letter, apologizing and telling them of my epiphany.

The problem came when I realized that I had no way to get home. Edward had picked me up in his volvo and drove us to the meadow the day before. Which meant that my truck was still at my house.

I thought about calling Charlie but soon realized my cell was still at my house. I knew that I couldn't ask the Cullens because then they would ask question. I wanted to be able to leave without any fuss.

My problem was solved when I spotted that Jasper had left his cell on the dresser. I picked it up and hurriedly dialed my house number.

"Hello, Swan residence. Chief Swan speaking." Charlie answered on the second ring.

"Hey dad." I said trying not to sound like I was going to cry.

"Bells, what's going on?" he asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really." I replied. "But I'll explain later. Can you pick me up at the end of the Cullens' driveway?"

"Of course." He replied, "But I thought that Alice was going to bring you home?"

"She was but we got into a fight and now I feel awkward asking her." I lied. Something that I had become good at in my time with Edward.

"Alright. I'll be there soon."

"Thank you, dad."

"You welcome Bells."

"See you soon."

I flipped the phone shut with a sigh then laid it on the dresser. I crept down the stairs and out the door as quietly as possible, praying the Cullens were too wrapped up in there grief to see or hear me leave.

I walked down the long driveway, lost in thoughts of everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours. Mostly, I thought about how everything was all my fault. By the time I reached the end of it, I was in tears.

I stood there thinking now about what I was going to tell Charlie. I had to liue to him about what happened to Edward. Which was horrible for me because Charlie already hated Edward for leaving me once and breaking my heart. Now, I had to lie and say that he left me again, a month before our wedding. That was just going to make Charlie hate Edward more. I wasn't going to be able to mention Edward in front of him ever again. Unless, I wanted to hear Charlie's bitterness and resentfulness about Edward. That was no way to remember my dead fiance.

However, even if was going to take myself out of the Cullens' lives, I wasn't about to blow their secret. I loved them too much to see them hunted and hurt, regardless of our relationship. Besides, it was the least I could do considering everything that I had already done to their family.

These thoughts had me crying ten times worse. In fact, when Charlie's cruiser pulled up less than five minutes later, I was nothing but a bawling baby when I slid into the passenger seat.

"Bella, honey, what's the matter?" he asked at the sight of me.

"Edward's gone." I sobbed out.

"What do you mean?" Charlie questioned.

"I mean Alice and I went shopping yesterday and when we came back, he was gone." I explained. "He left a note on his dresser that said he didn't love me anymore and couldn't marry me. He said that he was bored with me and was going somewhere to find something more exciting."

Charlie wrapped his arms around me and started stroking my hair.

"I'm so sorry honey." He stated and Iwas surprised to her only sympathy in his voice. There was no anger or resenment. Only love and support for his daughter. "Is that why you and Alice fought?"

"Yes, she was trying to help me but I just wanted to be left alone." I answered. Which was part of the truth. "So I yelled at her to go away. I feel horrible about it now though."

"It's alright." He whispered. "I'm sure she understands what you're going through. You can call her later, if you feel up to it."

"No." I said, "I can't. I don't want to talk top or think about them ever again. It would be too painful of a reminder of Edward. I don't think I could hang out with the Cullens, even Alice ever again."

"I'm syre you'll feel different in a few days." he whispered. "But I'm not going to make you do something you do want to do. You go back to them, when you're ready and I'll stay out of it."

"Thanks, dad." I replied. I knew I was probably never going near them again but I didn't want to say that Charlie. He was doing such a fantastic job with the father thing at the moment. I didn't want to ruin it for him.

"And if that boy ever comes back, I'll make sure he won't be able to hurt you ever again." Charlie whispered.

Knowing that Edward was never coming back, I simply nodded into Charlie's chest. We didn't talk anymore after that. I continued to cry as Charlie held me and stroked my hair. He was being very un-Charlie like and if I wasn't so emotional, I would've been just a little wierded out.

It took Charlie an hour to calm down enough so he could drive. The ride home was silent. Charlie drove, no doubt, worrying that I would be going back to my zombie days. Somehow, I didn't think that I'd get that lucky this time. I simply stared out the window trying to make sense of everything that had happened and wondering if the Cullens saw my note yet.

When we got home, I was so emotioinally exhausted that I went straight to my room and, even though it was only about twelve o'clock and I'd only been up for four hours after getting over twelve hours of sleep the day before, cried myself to sleep.

ALICE

We were all worried about Bella after her little outburst with me and Jasper. However, Carlisle warned us that this was a very delicate situation and if we pushed her, she might not ever let us help. Which is why he made us go about our normal daily business and wait for Bella to come to us.

However, at fifteen minutes to the time we had to meet the pack, she still hadn't come down so Carlisle went up to talk to her. He came back down less than a minute later, though. He had a note clutched in his hand and looked sadder and more tired than he had when he went up there.

"She's gone." he whispered and handed me the note.

I knew the entire family was going to read the note, so instead of pacing it around, I just read it outloud.

Dear Cullens,

There are a lot of things I need to say right now and a lot of them are not pleasant. However, I need to say them for the sake of your family.

First, I want to apologize to Alice and Jasper for my outburst earlier today. I know you were only trying to help me. The truth is, I don't deserve your help. Especially since it's my fault that Edward's dad. I put to muych faith in Jake. For that, I'm also sorry.

I apologize for my abrupt departure without so much as a goodbye. I thought it would be easier to do it like this. You'll understand what I mean when you finish reading.

I'm so sorry for all the trouble my coming here has caused the family. I can't count the number of times that I put your family's lives in danger or threatened to tear you guys apart. I know most people would've told me to get out of their family and leave them alone by now. I'm very grateful that you weren't like that and for everything that you've done to help me through my life. However, Edward's death is the last straw.

I realize that if I stick around in your family, it's only a matter of time before someone else gets hurt or dies. I couldn't live with myself if something else happened to the family because of me.

That's why I've decided to walk away from you guys. The family's safety would be so much better without me around. You could do everything that you normally would without having to worry about the human getting hurt or kidnapped by sadistic vampires or attacked by raging mates, etc.

Besides, I realized that it would be much harder for me to move past this if I stuck around. I mean, being around you guys would remind me too much of what I lost and had to give up. I no that I would deserve no less than that. However, you guys deserve nothing more than to not be burden by me.

So my walking away is a win/win thing for everyone. You guys can get rid of me and I don't have to remember all the time.

I want you to know, though, that no matter what our relationship is, I will never blow your secret. I love you guys too much to ever see you hurt, hunted, or experimented on. Besides, I don't want the Volturi to have to do a massive wipe out of Forks, Washington. It would just be too messy.

Anyway, thank you for everything that you've ever done for me. It won't be forgotten. I love you all very much and will miss you all so much. Especially you, Alice. I don't know how I would've gotten through the past couple years without you. You are truly a wonderful friend and I will never forget you.

Maybe we'll be able to be friends again sometime. But, I suppose this is goodbye for now. I love you all and hope you understand.

Love,

Bella

I had to reread the note twice before the words finally began to sink in. When the finally did, I found myself feeling confused. I was sad because Bella left and said that she wasn't coming back. At the same time, though, I found myself wanting to rip out Jacob's throat. How could he do this to Bella and still claim to love her?

I let out a choked sob. Jasper wrapped his arms around me and I turned my face into his chest and continued to sob.

"Is there anything we can do?" Emmett asked after a minute. And for the first time ever, I could hear sadness and hopelessness in his voice. That was a scary thought. I had no idea that Bella had that much of an effect on the family.

"No." Carlisle answered sounding just as sad. "She has to work through these emotions on her own. If we try to push her, we could push her over the edge. She has to realize that none of this was her fault on her own. And until she does, she won't feel worthy of out love and support. So, we'll respect her wishes and just leave her alone."

"We're not going to leave her totally alone are we?" Esme asked, "Because, I don't think that I could handle losing another child. I mean, it's one thing that she's walked away for awhile but it's a completely different thing to have her kill herself. I don't think that I could handle it if she did that."

"I know." Carlisle replied pulling the distraught Esme to his chest. "Which is why we aren't going to leave her completely alone. We'll take turns watching her to make sure that she isn't doing anything stupid."

"Good." Esme replied into his chest.

We were silent for a moment. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts about what Bella was feelings.

"Come on." Carlisle stated, "We have to go meet Sam."

And we all followed him out of the house. Each one of us burning with a new reason to see the mutt punished.

JASPER

As Alice read Bella's note, I found myself feeling very odd. It felt like someone had ripped out my heart and stomped on it, which was a very strange feeling for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was sad that Bella was gone. However, the ripping out the heart and stomping on it analogy was only something humans used to desribe it when a lover or spouse broke their heart not when a sister or friend went away. It was just weird to feel this terrible over someone who I had just considered a friend. I dismissed it as just being so connected to her emotions for the past day or so.

Alice reread the letter to herself a couple of times before the words sunk in. When the did she let out a choked sob and buried her face in my chest. She continued sobbing while the rest of the family talked.

I didn't catch any of the conversation. I was too lost in my anger at the mutt and was imagining all the ways that I could kill him because that's what I was going to do, no matter what anyone said. If anyone deserved death, it was the mutt. Not only for taking Edward away but for breaking Bella and causing her so much guilt and pain.

"Come on." Carlisle stated pulling me out of my daydreams. "We have to go meet the pack."

We all followed him out of the house. The images of me killing Jacob were playing a wonderful movie in my had. I hoped I'd get the chance to live it.

We ran to our usual meeting place. A clearing just outside the boundary line. Sam was already there and he wasn't alone. He had brought Embry, Quil, Jared, Paul, Seth, and Leah with him. I understood why too. The were the fiercest, strongest, and bravest of the pack. Hell, I'd want them by my side if I was on that side of the line.

I could feel worry, fear, and sadness coming from all of them. My family, however, was nothing but angry. We knew that Jacob wasn't present but seeing som many wolves in front of us, made us want to take it out on them.

After a stare down of several minutes, Sam spoke,

"On behalf of the pack and the Elders, I wish to give you our condolences on your fallen cover memeber. I would also like to tell you how sorry we are to know that Jacob was the one behind him. I'm also, obligated to inform you that we did not know he had any intentions of doing anything like that. He must've been hiding his thoughts from us. However, had we known, I promise we would've done everything in out power to stop it."

"Thank you for your kind words." Carlisle stated calmly but I could feel angry radiating off of him. "But we would like to know what you intend to do about it."

"The Elders and I were up all night discussing it and have come to the conclusion that exile from the pack, as well as La Push and Forks, is a reasonable punishment." Sam answered.

"To hell it is!" Emmett growled and I could feel his anger rising. Rose must've sensed something too because she grabbed his wrist tightly in her hand. I tried to use my gift to calm him but my anger as well as the rest of the family's was getting in the way. Alice was the next to speak her mind.

"He attacked and killed our brother without provaction." she growled, "And you expect us to think that sending him away is an appropriate punishment. I don't think so."

"I understand that Edward was your brother and am sorry that you had to lose him. But you have to understand that Jacob is our brother and we won't sentence him to death, even if it is justified." Sam responded.

"So you're saying that Jacob should get away with that unjustified murder of our brother because he's your brother. That's bullshit!" Emmett growled and Rosalie gripped his wrist tighter.

I feel the anger rising on both sides and see the wolves forms shaking. I tried to send out calming waves but there was too much anger inside me to project anything else.

"Well, seeing as Edward stole the love of Jacob life, I'd say the murder was justufied." Embry stated from behind Sam.

"Edward didn't steal anything from Jacob! Bella chose Edward, plain and simple." Rose yelled and it was Emmett who had to hold her back this time.

"It doesn't matter how it played out. Edward ended up with what Jacob wanted and that's what made it justified." Quil replied and I could see his form start to blur.

The next voice surprised. I had never seen or heard Esme so mad in my entire time with the Cullens.

"Putting Edward and Jacob's hate for each other aside, did you ever stop and think about what this is doing to Bella?!" she yelled. "Because it's detroyed her! She's blaming herself and who knows what she'll do now that Edward's gone! If you don't think that Jacob deserved to be punished for what killing Edward, certainly he deserves something worse for doing this to Bella!"

"I....." Sam started to retort.

"Enough!" Carlisle yelled. I could feel loathing and anger coming off of him in great waves. However, he was choosing to be rarional and that was hopefully going to save the situation. "Sam, we have no problem with you at the moment and we don't want this to turn into a fight. We will continued to respect you and uphold the treaty. However, we do not angry with your decision for punishment. Which means that if Jacob Black ever returns to Forks or La Push, you better be prepared for a war. Because I will not ask my children to hold back. And they'll most likely kill him. Now, let's go." He shouted the last bit to us.

I was shocked, I had never seen Carlisle so angry in my laugh nor had I ever heard him condone the killing of another creature. However, we were talking about the creature who murdered his son and took away his daughter, so I supposed anyone would be angry enough to want him dead.

He turned and made us all leave before any one of us could start the war right then and there.

A/N: I hope you guys liked. I know that Carlisle is a little unbelieveable at the end. However, like Jasper said, his son was muredered and his daughter walked away from the family because of Jacob. I think that would make any parent angry enough to want to kill. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Please, review. I live for your compliments, your criticisms, and even flames. They only make me stronger. So please give me the strength to continue this story. LOl.