10th grade


My year was full of nothing.

There was no New Year's Eve party. Rhonda had joined the lacrosse team as an alternate player. She thought it would help on her college applications. Even though she always cared so much about fashion, and was sometimes a little stuck up, she would get down and dirty on the field with the boys; I wasn't exactly surprised to hear she joined. The whole team was at some special training camp in Vancouver over winter break.

Her practices started back up, and she had them more often. This meant that I could come down and see her practice more often. Our games were also at different times now; she had her games on Saturday mornings now. I watched every game. I found out she was going to be going to a big lacrosse tournament in Portland for spring break. Her JV team made it to the national semi-finals. I took the last day of school off before break and instead went down to the bus depot and rode down. I stayed at the hostel, which was a 30 minute bus ride from the convention center where she would be all week. I made a big pink banner with her name on it to hold up and cheer her on.

There were only JV and varsity games, and her first game was on Sunday. I made sure to get there early for her game. I made sure to sit right at the front; she would be sure to see me. I made sure to wear her team colors and I had brought my big sign. Only, she brought something too. Just as her team was about to take the field, this guy just walks right up to her and hugs her. As though it was nothing! And then he kissed her cheek. Whoa, this is all happening too fast. I feel—I feel dizzy. I need to lie down. I think all the color drained from the world at that moment. She blushed and he responds by poking her on the nose. She smiles at him and swats his hand away. No, the color has not drained away. Everything is red now. I leave my sign and check out of my bunk at the hostel. I get back on the bus home.

By the time I get to Gerald's house on Monday, he already knows. Helga sent Phoebe a picture while they were out Sunday night. That guy- her boyfriend- is the brother of a girl on the team. I stop going to her practices. I do go to her last game of the season. But I go with Gerald and Phoebe, and a few other kids I know from around town are there too. His name is Leon. I smile and shake his hand. How could she not go for a guy like him? He has great hair, great teeth, and he plays lacrosse at his all-boys prep academy. Y-Yeah. W-Well, um. About all that stuff I said, Arnold, I... I... I mean... It was crazy back there, and... With a guy like that, why would she ever go for a guy like me?

Once season is over, I bury myself in people watching at the coffeehouse. I don't know how Helga didn't explode. Journaling can barely contain me.


My year was full of amazing.

I finally convinced Rhonda to join the lacrosse team. Even though she is such a princess sometimes, I know she is quick on the field so I told her that the college admissions would love to see an athletic activity on her transcripts. We also got admitted to a special hardcore training boot camp in Vancouver over winter break, so Rhonda didn't get to throw her annual New Year's party.

There hadn't been enough local teams for a school rating last year, but we had been invited to a national semi-finals gig in Portland for spring break. So we upped our practices to four days a week to prepare.

In return for joining the team, Rhonda requested that I not only go to the pathetic Valentine's Day "Sadie Hawkins" dance at our school where we host the guys prep school at our campus, but that I let her give me a makeover for it. As it was time to pay the piper, I succumbed to girly torture. She waxed my eyebrows, and Olga could not have been happier when she saw them. She also picked out a slinky knee-length white dress with a high neck and a sheer, soft, pink chiffon over layer that softly billowed around my ankles. It was actually quite pretty. Kayla's brother Leon* thought so too.

He was so easy to talk to. We traded numbers and spent the next few weeks trading funny pictures on our phones. Then he started picking his sister up from practice and asked me out one day. Just as friends. We go see some stupid kid movie about bunnies and of course, Lila Sawyer would be there right up front. We made fun of the whole movie and threw popcorn at people. He walked me back to my building and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before asking if he could take me out again. Whoa, this is all happening too fast. I feel—I feel dizzy. I need to lie down

I, Helga G. Pataki, have a boyfriend.

Spring break came and we went to our tournament in Portland. Leon came too, since his parents came down to see Kayla play, and he cheered me on. We did well, but we were first place losers. We didn't make the cut off to go to the finals.

When the last game of the season came, Rhonda invited nearly everyone we had ever gone to school with to watch her play. Arnold was there. Leon meets all my old friends. I feel like time is moving in slow motion when he introduces himself to Arnold and shakes his hand. That boy still gives me the biggest case of the butterflies. Of course Arnold is happy for us. Y-Yeah. W-Well, um. About all that stuff I said, Arnold, I... I... I mean... It was crazy back there, and... How could I have thought he could ever go for a girl like me?

Once season is over I get focused on my writing. There is this camp I want to go to, but Bob won't pay for it. He does give me a job at his store for the summer at a slightly better wage though, so I guess I will just have to go next year.


*Kayla and Leon are totally made up and not from the show