Fourty-Nine Sweeps.

I suppose I'm writing in this now, so I should introduce myself. Vriska. To whom it may fucking concern. If you know me you're probably expecting some bullshit '8' references. Don't hold your breath. If there's any live being able to read this.

We all gave up on quirks so long ago I don't even remember. It's actually kind of pathetic that I even remember! Maybe I stopped when Tavros died. That sounds about right. I've looked back on this writing and Terezi seemed to not have noticed that I was pretty deeply shaken by it too, even if I didn't show it.

Boy, for one who seemed to be able to pick up on how we were feeling, she didn't do so well on me. I guess her compliments were nice. Stopped me from wanting to rip my own horn off and sever my jugular.

But I guess if you're reading this, you want to know what's up. Not that you wouldn't already know having read past pages. Nepetas gone. It happened. The catalyst for all the shit we'd been holding back finally occurred and we just screamed like a pack of wild animals. it was terrifying I suppose, the way we sank down to primal animals in the face of what we faced.

Equius didn't stay long. but we could feel his presence. And no, not in a soul-searching kind of way. in the way that the ground would constantly shiver, quake and even crack every ten minutes or so for at least... shit, thinking back it must've lasted 50 god damn sweeps, his fury and horror and everything else was so deeply ingrained.

I don't think I could blame him. Losing Nepeta was losing the last thing Equius had in the world. I don't like to think of what Karkat said as some sort of bible, but Terezi did quote him for a reason- he knew what was going on. After that game, none of us could live for ourselves. Not even me. And even as nice as that sounds, when all you have left is yourself and you feel that way... trust me. It rebounds on you.

After his rampage he just... lost himself. His strength left him and he couldn't lift a pebble, never mind himself, from the ground. So he laid there and sobbed as time went by. Terezi thought he was going to die the same way Gamzee did, but I knew better. Even if his outer strength was gone, that curse that was Equius' titanic body would not let him die until it was good and ready, regardless of emotion.

Terezi started going insane. It was slow at first but I saw it. I did my best to hold it back, I really did, but it was a mountain of cascading sand and I couldn't hold it back, try as I might. She started pacing around the graves, begging her fallen friends to get up, getting angry, getting sad, but the want on her face broke my heart. Kanaya, too. Feferi and Eridan were just... existing. Locked in each others arms, royal bloods together. I saw Terezi's writing on the subject. I have to say I agree.

Maybe I'll try and calm Terezi down soon. it's approaching our one-hundred-thirtieth sweep and Kanaya really isn't looking good. I don't want Kanayas last times clouded by Terezi screaming in her face. Is that selfish? Maybe it was at some point.