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I spent the rest of the night sleeping in a fallen log, just right outside the castle. When morning arose, I crawled out of the log feeling miserable from the nosebleed. I was homesick, I wanted to go home. I don't know how was it easy for me to get my meals at home, I simply hunt for it. But why was it different? How come it isn't the same?

I realized that I was never away from home, I always do three things: garden, sleep, play around with chemistry, sleep, repeat the next day. That's all I do, of course I do go out and hunt for animals so I could feed myself. What Johan and Pee-wee fed me was incredibly good, but there wasn't much meat in it.

So I went to work on crafting myself a new bow since I don't know where the other one went, and went to work making some arrows. Once I have my bow and arrows crafted, I began my hunt for some meat.

Squirrels, badgers, and raccoons seems to be on the menu. I hope, or else I'm stuck eating mushrooms. Fungus are alright though, except they don't taste like plants. They taste soft on the outside but dense in the inside. I'm already tired of seeing mushrooms back home, I haven't understood why the smurfs would live in mushroom homes. Probably it's so that they could hide from predators as they think that the mushroom builds are just regular Amanita muscaria mushrooms.

There's a problem though, the kinds of mushrooms that the buildings represent don't grow in direct sunlight. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the large number of mushrooms grouping together isn't natural, it almost looked like a mushroom farm from the sky. And speaking of mushrooms, I just stumbled into some just right underneath a tree.

I stared at the mushrooms for a little bit, they were ordinary yellow-orange mushroom fungus that grows from spores activated by urine. Standing around 7 centimeters tall and takes up an impressive 8 centimeters of space, it's stem is about 1.3 centimeters thick – the same thickness as a human being's little finger. I put my bow down and studied the mushroom, hoping for something amazing.

After writing 3 paragraphs about it in my journal, I moved on and discovered a familiar looking mushroom just 3 meters away. A cluster mushrooms sits underneath a tree, they had this white appearance to them. The most massive ones are about 1-2 centimeters wide and about 6 centimeters tall, and they were everywhere. It's called Agaricus bisporus, the common mushroom.

It is an edible mushroom, I've been looking for this fungus like forever. So I just walked up to a random mushroom and grabbed its sides, then uprooted it from the ground. I cut open the mushroom with my knife and removed it's spore prints, and stashed it in my backpack respectfully. I wrote about the mushroom in my journal and carefully described it with better detail, all in the while I ate the mushroom raw.

And you know what I think about it? It had a neutral taste to it, meaning I should have cooked it.

At least it was filling, but of course I hate a fruit and vegetable diet due to the lack of nutrition they have.

Finding my way back home isn't a problem, getting there is a different story. I'm about 50 kilometers away from the smurf village and the rate I'm walking is going to take me weeks on getting there, what really surprised me the most is that my map hadn't been damaged by water from the river I "accidentally" fell into.

I have to admit, I need a faster way to get back home and I don't have much options. I knew that the Smurf Village borders a massive body of water, maybe riding a boat to the village would help. But I can't risk getting lost out in that big blue, so it's out completely.

Of course, the air is quite acceptable as I'm used to being airborne. Though Flying Smurf will probably kill me for flying, I'm pretty much going to risk that. But how in the world I'm going to get airborne without my jet pack? Have a bird do the flying for you of course.

Feathers, a stork, often helps transport the smurfs via air to locations to far to get by foot. Usually the walking distance is 20 kilometers and I'm far from that walking limit, don't know how I got this far anyway. Without Feathers to help me, I must find another bird that is a similar size to him, I'm beginning to wish I had a pet howlibird for some reason.

Then suddenly something caught my eye, an eagle. A female white-tailed eagle I believe, she rests on a branch about 20 meters off the ground. Being a small creature, she might identify me as prey. I hope she already ate, and I hope she's friendly. I climbed up the tall tree to get to her, she obviously spotted me as I can sense it. I looked up at her, sure enough she is watching me with those eagle eyes of hers.

She watched me for 5 minutes as I climbed up the tree to get to the branch she's sitting on, then I sat down on it. Me and the bird stared at the bird for about 20 minutes, without a muscle. I spotted something on her leg, a bracelet. The bracelet was yellow and it appeared to have a serial number on it, indicating that the bird had interacted with humans. Looking closer, I noticed she was born in captivity as I saw her birthday on there. So maybe she can understand humanoid language.

"Can you understand me?" I asked her, the bird was startled in response. Probably she is not used to hearing a half human voice coming from a half smurf mouth.

"I take that as a yes," I said, "Look here, I need some help from you."

The bird was obviously listening, and she seemed to take interest in me. For some reason, I attract all the females despite being sexually inactive. The eagle steps closer to me as I stood up, she crotches down and spread out her wings. Man, this seems to easy. "What name should I call you?" I asked myself when I got onto her back, "I know, Alpha. Yeah, that should work."

Alpha leaped into the air with tremendous force, her wings propel her straight up into the sky as I hang on tight to her. Oh I missed being into the skies, I never have real fun ever.

I steered Alpha and directed her towards the Smurf Village, using the sun as a reference point in the sky. We covered a lot of ground after an hour of flight, I did quick mental math and calculated I might arrive the smurf village in about 30 minutes instead of 30 hours. I must not get my hopes up though, because nothing goes according to plan these days.

It was just about when I discovered that I'm over Gargamel's hovel, me and Alpha was hit with a massive gust of wind and I was thrown off her back. It's when I plummeted 30 meters to the ground. "Oh no," I said sarcastically, "I'm going to die by splattering the ground with milligram chunks of my body, how great is that?"

Lucky me, I fell straight into a bucket of water. My right leg hits the rim of the bucket quite hard, making me give off a short scream which is literally drown out by water. "This sucks," I screamed, "OW!"

I soon realized that there's a sharp pain in the leg I landed on, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that my tibia is broken. I managed to climb out of the bucket and flop to the ground, I leg throbbed with pain. "AH! AH! AH!," my injury cause me to scream almost like a crow, "Ahhh!"

And just as it can't possibly get worse, I smell the body odor of a cat. That's when Azrael appeared out of nowhere, and boy was he still pissed from that river incident. "Great, there's a cat who's about to eat me as I lay injured on the ground," I said to myself, "Not as bad as I suspected."

My black humor has failed me as the front door of the hovel opened up, and Gargamel revealed himself.

TO BE CONTINUED...