Chapter 7
"Ugh...Ouch!" Maggie stood at an odd clearing in the woods. She had come out of the tangled branches, in search of her missing boot, and saw that her shirt was beginning to fray in places. Partnered with her fall earlier, rips were completely inevitable.So much for this new shirt. As she yanked the clinging limbs from her, she looked up, and gasped.
"BOOT!"
There, in the distance, the brown shoe sat neatly upon a tree stump in the middle of the expanse. How it landed this far away, and ever so perfectly, didn't cross her mind. The sore pallet of her naked foot drove her forward, without hesitation. Once she arrived at the lonely projection, she saw its base was whimsically covered with old toadstools. Maggie didn't want to bend down, to spare further exhaust to her back, so she leaned in a bit and swiped at the boot with her fingertips. Get this thing on the ground. Slip my foot in. Profit. Though, her plan of action was quickly interrupted when a stout, bearded man, dressed in baggy pirate garb, came bounding out from the jungle in front of her, opposite the stump.
"Gotcha!" The man yelled, triumphantly. "Fell for the oldest trick in the 'boot', eh?" He chuckled.
Maggie shrieked at his surprise entrance, and then started to laugh. He struck her as amusing. "Somebody call the fun police, this guy's droppin' bad puns."
The man's brow could not have raised any higher. "Come again, miss?" he asked, baffled. Maggie noticed the man was injured. His arm was cradled up by his belly, wrapped in a tattered cloth bandage, blood faintly showing through.
"...no? Alright. Sorry." She cleared her throat, wincing a bit, eyes darting from his face to his arm. "Is this your part of the jungle, Tarzan?" Her tone was dripping in uncomfortable sarcasm. Less we forget Maggie's notable conversation skills. "Pretty sure this isn't the Northwest, what with our lack of jungles and everything." She laughed again, feeling like an idiot with each word that came fumbling out.
The man shook his head, confusedly, bent down, and snatched up her boot. Maggie was far too achy and tired to handle this. Homeless dude wants my shoe. Awesome.She tried again with the small talk.
"Toss 'er here, slugger." She snorted. However, the odd fellow did not. He tucked it under his good arm and moved forward.
"You don't look like a size seven, broseph." She noticed herself backing away as he came near. "Can you not?" Her voice becoming nervous. Something about the odd smile the man wore was strangely familiar. It wasn't sinister, but it did make Maggie uneasy.
"MAGGIE!" A scream echoed distantly from the thick woods. Maggie's head shot towards the source of the voice. In her moment of distraction, she stumbled backwards, her bare foot slicing through a tangle of weeds. She swung her arms back and landed on her palms, twisting one of her arms as the rest of her came tumbling down. The strange fellow was now bounding in her direction, but he looked panicked. Before he could close in, a familiar bright light was now hovering over his head. He swatted at it, yelping. His ear was being yanked on.
"Pixie bitch! Git'off!" He began to flail, whipping the stolen boot through the air like a weapon. In the midst of chaos, the shoe escaped his grip and once again, slammed into Maggie's head.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" Maggie cried. Her palm shot up to her temple.
The odd fight scene continued to take place, its participants completely ignoring her. The fairy buzzed around the man's head, jingles and sparkling dust erupting with each impact she made. "YOU. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HER!" Tinkerbell enunciated angrily as she attacked. The man shielded himself with his left hand and began to work off a striped scarf from around his waist with the other. Once it was loose, he used it as a whip. He swatted madly at the pixie, with audible 'HA's as he did so. The tattered cloth finally clipped her wings, midair, and she fluttered down daintily into the grass.
"N' that's for throwin' me out the window!" He belted, triumphantly. He tromped over to where the tiny creature landed, and scooped her up. "N'dontchu' dare bite me!" From within his loose pockets he pulled out an almost empty whisky bottle, uncorked it, and dropped the fairy inside.
"Have a drink, while you're at it." He harrumphed. The poor thing could only glare at him from within, her hands pressed against the glass. Tinkerbell began yelling something. Maggie tried reading the sprite's lips. 'You stupid ass!'The boot thief then slipped the bottle back into his pocket. He made his way to Maggie again.
"Sorry for the trouble, but If you please, miss. I need'ya to come with me." He was calm, but taxed from his little struggle, his breathing a bit unsteady. He offered her his hand, smiling kindly.
"Why in the actual hell would I trust you? You steal women's shoes and beat up fairies." She scowled at him.
"Listen, I've been asked to deliver ye', and I'd prefer if you'd cooperate. It'd make things a lot easier for th'both of us." The man said, matter-of-factly.
"Tell you what." She refused his hand, and got up on her own, grimacing with each movement. "I'll go with you if you take me to a restroom and get me a cheeseburger first. I'm starving, and I might just pee my pants."
Now, Maggie was a lady, yes, but she wasn't what you would label as classy. 'Well kempt, caring, and incredibly down to Earth' is what you'd hear if you asked anybody who knew her well enough. Apart from those endearing details, she often made questionable first impressions, bless her heart. The girl meant well enough, anyway, spare her lack of a filter. Besides, if she bolted now, she wouldn't know where to begin looking for a way out of here. She'd stick with this oddball until she could think up a plan of action.
The portly gentleman's brows furrowed with great abashment at hearing her request. It took him a second to respond. "Right. Yes. I'm sure that can be arranged. Let's head back then." There was a faint clinking from within his pocket. Maggie envisioned Tinkerbell pounding crazily against the glass bottle that contained her. Maggie felt a bit stuck, she was exhausted and honestly done with this outlandish day as it were.
I'll get her out of there once we get back to town. This guy won't be hard to lose.
It then struck Maggie that she was contemplating an escape from a piratey-clad scoundrel in order to save a flying fairy tale critter.
Wait until I tell Rosie about this shit. She's going to put me right back on my meds.
Maggie exhaled. "Lead the way, Skipper."
They had been walking through the thick jungle for a few minutes when Maggie began her 'break the silence' small talk. "So, where are we? You've got redwoods in here. Which coast are we on?"
There was no reply to Maggie's statement.
"Are we even in the States?"
The man just kept on, a few feet ahead of her.
"Hey, dude, don't give me the cold shou-" She stopped talking immediately.
They had come partly out of the woods, a slight drop off ahead. Maggie's jaw hung in awe as she pushed forward to get a better look.
"Hoooooly..." She gasped.
Spanning out in front of her was a wide and stunning landscape. She stood at the edge of a flat top crag, flowers of all sorts blossoming wildly upon it. It overlooked a vast, cerulean ocean cove, surrounded by rich, colorful greenery. Large, curiously shaped mountains were wrapped around the calm cul-de-sac shape. As she scanned the wondrous spectacle before her, she could detect each season. While one end of this island was dazzling and warm like a summertime escape, the far end was snow capped and still.
"...h-hey." Not breaking her gaze, Maggie gestured her hand out lazily to get her guides attention. "Where are we, exactly?"
"The Never Neverland."
