Destination: Almost Perfect
"Songbird"
For you there'll be no crying
For you the sun will be shining
Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before. –
"Songbird"
By Eva Cassidy
Addison and Derek didn't even notice. They were engrossed in the chart, and each other, and thought that Kalen was still with Mark. Derek was going to go after them, but he'd gotten sidetracked. It wasn't until Izzie came running down the hall that they even knew that something was wrong.
"Kalen?" Izzie skidded to a stop in front of the chair. She's seen Kalen sit down and close her eyes, and had turned around to say something to Meredith, and when she's turned back, Kalen was crumpled on the floor. Addison turned around, startled by the fact that her daughter was even there, and then shrieked. "Help me out, Derek."
Derek spun, startled by Izzies use of his first name. He froze. He hadn't been paying attention. "Oh God." Derek lifted Kalen in to his arms and raced down the hall, Addison on his heels. He took Kalen in to an empty room and was then shoved aside by Izzie, George and Bailey, who began hooking Kalen to IVs.
"You can't be in here, Shepherd. We don't know what's wrong with her." Bailey said as the interns finished hooking her to machines. "Unless you do."
Derek shook his head. "No. I don't. She's always been healthy. Unless…" Derek turned to Addison who shook her head, panic on her face. "We have no idea."
"Okay. Out."
"But…" Derek began to protest.
"Miranda, please…" Addison looked devastated.
Bailey sighed. "You can stay." She said, her maternal instinct taking over. "You cannot." She said, turning to Derek once Addison had joined Izzie and George at Kalens side.
"Hey. No. She's my daughter too…"
"Get out, Derek." Addison snapped, very upset. "Please…"
Derek nodded. "Okay. Fine." Derek left the room and Bailey shot the door behind him, beginning to run tests on Kalen. Derek paced outside the room, only momentarily by himself. Addison was pushed out the door a minute later, an angry look on her face. "What the hell…?"
"I was in the way." Addison said her voice teary. "Derek, what have we missed?"
"I don't know…" Derek wrapped Addison in a hug, her tears breaking. "Addie…honey, she'll be fine."
"Why didn't we pay attention?" She asked, the sentence broken by sobs. "We should have paid attention."
"Dr. Shepherd." Addison lifted her head from Derek's chest and looked over at Izzie. "Dr. Bailey said you can come in now." Both doctors moved, but Izzie shook her head. "One at a time. Kalen's not awake, but we don't know what's wrong yet, and we don't want to scare her in to a repeat episode if you're both hovering over her."
"Go." Derek whispered, softly pushing Addison towards the door. She entered the room without looking at him, and Izzie stepped out in to the hall.
"Any idea?" Izzie asked, pulling him over to the desk as Bailey and George left the room.
Derek shook his head. "No. But Addison and I haven't been around since October…"
"We'll figure it out, Dr. Shepherd." Izzie said, trying to be as comforting as possible. "She'll be fine." Derek nodded his mind elsewhere. He hadn't paid attention…and now he didn't even know what was wrong with his own child.
"K, honey, I'm sorry." Addison choked out, softly holding her daughters hand. "I know your father and I blew up at you about this Mark thing, and I know it's been hard on you…honey, please, wake up." Kalen didn't stir, her heart monitor the only sign that she was still alive. Addison placed her head on Kalen's lap, playing with her daughters fingers. Kalen had always been healthy. There had never been anything wrong, and all the tests that were run when Kalen was born had said that she would always be healthy. Addison took a shaky breath and the door opened, revealing Bailey, papers in her hands, and Derek, who looked angry. "What is it?"
"These were the first results that came back." Miranda said, shutting the door as Derek sat down on the arm of the chair Addison was sitting in. "I…I think she may have a spinal tumor, and we need a neuro consult…but you can't do it."
"But I'm right here." Derek snapped. "It's not that hard, Miranda."
"She's your daughter, Derek. It's not ethical."
"Screw ethical."
"Derek…" Addison breathed.
"No." He said, turning to her. "I've put my career before my family too many times. I don't care anymore. Kalen is more important than my goddamn career."
"I know. She's more important than both of our careers, but…Derek, just let someone else do it."
"I don't want to."
"No one cares what you want." Richard snapped, walking in to the room. "Dr. Jamison is on his way over from Virginia Mason, and he'll be doing the consult."
"But…"
"No buts, Derek. He'll be here in about twenty minutes." Richard sighed. "She'll be fine. He's a good doctor."
"Not as good as me." Derek snapped.
"Arrogant. No one is, Derek, we both know that, but I can't let you do this. I'm sorry." Richard left the room, Miranda following slowly, giving Addison a sympathetic smile as she shut the door. Addison looked back at Kalen, and sighed.
"Addie…" Addison shook her head and Derek put his arm around her, hugging her to him as she began to sob.
Kalen woke slowly, her gag-reflex threatening. Almost instantly she began to panic. She was in a hospital bed, there was a tube in her throat, and she had a slight pain in her lower back. Kalen tried to sit up but was stopped by an unfamiliar hand.
"Don't move yet, Ms. Shepherd." A young male doctor came in to view. "I'm going to go get your parents, but I need to take the tube out first. Can you relax for me?" Kalen nodded and the doctor pulled the tube out. Kalen gagged and coughed, her hand going to her throat. "Are you alright?"
Kalen nodded and sat up. "What was the tube for?"
"Just a precaution. You stopped breathing during the surgery, so your parents asked that we leave it in."
"Surgery?" Kalen asked her voice raspy.
"Yeah. I'm going to get your parents, okay?" Kalen nodded and watched him open the door to her room. "Dr. Shepherd…?"
Both Derek and Addison looked up but Addison spoke first. "Is she awake?"
George nodded. "Yes." Addison jumped to her feet, racing in to the room.
"Thanks O'Malley." Derek said. George nodded and Derek followed Addison in to the room and shut the door behind him.
"How are you feeling?" Addison asked, sitting down next to the bed.
"A little out of the loop." Kalen said, her voice croaking. "Why was I in surgery?"
"You had a spinal tumor." Kalen's eyes widened and Derek sat down on the edge of the bed and put one hand on her leg. "You're fine. It was benign, and Dr. Jamison removed it without any major complications…"
"I stopped breathing. That's not a major complication to you?"
Derek sighed. "Kalen…"
"Why did you operate?"
"Because I'm your father…"
"No you're not." Derek looked pained. "Not biologically."
"I wanted to." He said his voice shaky. "Richard wouldn't let me." Kalen nodded. "Dr. Jamison is a good doctor though, K."
"Am I going to be able to play soccer?" Kalen asked. She was trying to pull of the I'm-calm-cool-collected-and-pissed-at-you attitude that she had inherited from Addison, but her voice was shaky.
"We don't know yet, K." Addison said, rubbing her hand on Kalen's leg. Addison felt Kalen tense at her initial touch. "Baby, what's wrong?"
Kalen sighed. "Nothing. Look, I know you guys are worried about me, but can I be alone for a little? I just need to…"
Addison nodded and kissed Kalen on the forehead. "Yeah. We'll be right outside if you need us." Kalen smiled as Derek squeezed her hand and they left.
"Look, they don't know that you're here. You should wait until they go home, or…"
"Too late." Derek snapped, shutting the door to Kalen's room. "What are you doing here?"
"I called him." Izzie said, looking down. "Kalen's phone rang earlier, and it was him, so I figured that he might want to know."
"Can I see her?" Mark asked. "She probably won't want me to stay, but…"
"She doesn't want to see anyone right now." Addison said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Addie…she doesn't want to see us." Derek sighed. "I don't want you here, but this isn't about me." Derek stepped away from the door, taking Addisons hand and pulling her with him. "Go ahead."
Mark smiled. "Thank you." Derek nodded and then cringed as the door closed.
"Why did you do that?" Addison snapped, dropping his hand.
"Addison…"
"I don't want him in there."
"I don't either, but Kalen might."
"I don't care."
Derek sighed. "Yes you do." Addison looked down. "Addie…"
"Why does she hate me, Derek?"
"She doesn't hate you."
"She tensed when I touched her." Addison took a shaky breath. "I know I screwed up, but I never thought…what happened?"
Derek pulled Addison in to a hug. "I don't know, baby. I don't know."
Kalen stared. "What are you doing here?"
"Dr. Stevens called me." Kalen smiled. Thank God for Izzie. "Are you okay?"
Kalen shrugged. "The Drs. Shepherd say that I'm fine."
"Kalen…"
Kalen looked down. "I don't know. This is like the top of the heap. Everything has fallen apart in the last year, Mark. Not to mention, you were my constant and now I don't even have you."
Mark sat down on the edge of the bed and took hold of her hand. "You have me, K. You will always have me." Kalen managed a weak smile. "What happened?"
"Apparently I had a spinal tumor." Mark looked panicked. "It was benign, and it's gone, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to play soccer…soccer is the only thing that I've never screwed up." Kalen began to cry softly. "If I don't have soccer, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm pretty much going to be the most fucked up person ever…"
"Don't say that." Mark breathed. "Do you remember when we watched Love Actually?" Kalen nodded, wiping the tears from her face and Mark held his hands up as if he was holding a sign. "To me you are perfect." Kalen laughed at the gesture and Mark put his hands down. "No matter how many mistakes you make, you are the most perfect creature I've ever known."
Kalen shook her head. "I'm not. You're kidding yourself."
Mark lifted her chin so that their eyes met. "I'm not kidding myself, and I'm not wrong. I see you, K. Without the mistakes and the negative attitude." Tears began to stream down her face, and Mark moved so that he was sitting next to her. Hugging her to him, he kissed the top of her head. "Everyone is flawed, K. I'm flawed…you know that." Kalen cracked a smile. "The point is that when someone loves you, they see past the flaws and right to the heart of you. And Kalen…I love you. I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting." Kalen managed a giggle and then leaned in to his chest. In the comfort of his arms, Kalen began to sob. Soft tears ran down Marks face. He hated seeing her this way.
45 minutes later, Mark left her room, a smile on his tear-stained face. Derek and Addison looked up as he came out of the room.
"She wants to see you, Derek." Mark said his voice low and throaty. "She asked me to send you in."
Derek managed a smile. "Thanks." Mark nodded and Derek went in to Kalen's room cautiously.
"Is she okay?" Addison asked. Mark nodded. "Does she hate me?"
Mark laughed. "God, Addie, no. She hates herself for hurting you. She doesn't want to hurt you again."
"Does she get that I'm going to love her no matter what?"
Mark shrugged. "I think so. She wants to see you too; she just asked to see Derek first."
Addison nodded and leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. "Okay."
Mark placed one hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "It'll be fine."
Addison sighed. "I hope you're right."
"I'm sorry." Kalen said, breaking the silence she and Derek had been sitting in for the past few minutes. "I shouldn't have said that you aren't my father. Because you are. Even if it's not biologically."
"You were upset." Derek said, briefly touching her hand. He made note of the fact that she didn't tense or flinch.
"That doesn't make it okay. I was just nervous…you're really the only person I choose to trust with my spine."
Derek laughed. "We didn't have much of a choice. I tried to fight Richard on it, but he wouldn't let me do anything." Derek smiled. "Although I did look at your file. You should be able to play soccer again, as long as you rest up and take it slow at the beginning of the season."
"Really?" Derek nodded and Kalen grinned. "That's fantastic."
Derek nodded. "So…I don't want to ruin the good mood, but I want to ask about Mark." Kalen nodded. "Is this thing with him over?"
"What would you do if I said that it wasn't?"
Derek sighed. "I don't know. I love you, Kalen, and the fact that you're dating Mark isn't going to change that, but it would take a lot of getting used to."
Kalen nodded. "Well, I don't know if it's over or not. I haven't decided yet."
Derek took a deep breath. "Will you talk to me about it first? I just…I want you to be happy, K, but I don't want you to get hurt."
Kalen smiled. "I know, Daddy. And yes, I'll talk to you."
Derek smiled. "Good. I'm glad. I wanted to apologize too, Kalen. I shouldn't have left like that." Kalen nodded, tears coming to her eyes. "I was upset, and I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself."
"You didn't say goodbye." Kalen whispered. "I didn't know you had left the state until Richard called me." Derek cringed. He hadn't known that. "I don't think Mom knew either. It's not that you left…I understand why you left, but…you didn't tell anyone that you were leaving…you just left."
Derek nodded. "I know, honey, and I'm sorry. I really am."
Kalen shrugged. "It's over. I just missed you."
Derek smiled, and squeezed Kalen's hand, placing his head on her legs. "I missed you too."
"Dr. Sloan, are you okay?" Izzie Stevens sat down next to Mark, who was curled up in the corner of an on-call room, taking slow deep breaths.
"Yeah, Dr. Stevens. I just needed to take a deep breath." Mark looked up. "This thing with Kalen is killing me. I don't know if I could take it if she told me no."
"No?" Izzie asked, sitting down on the floor next to him.
"I asked her to come back to New York and move in with me. She said that she'd think about it. She's coming back to New York…but I don't know if she'll take me up on the offer." Mark sighed. "Her parents' opinion is pretty important to her."
"She seems pretty close to Addison."
Mark nodded. "They're best friends. Which is amazing, since Addison hates her mother."
"Look, Dr. Sloan, my mother once told me something that I'll never forget. It didn't work for me, but I have a feeling that it might work for you." Mark raised his eyebrows. "Just wait it out. If she loves you, she'll come back to you."
Mark smiled. "Kalen and I watch Love Actually all the time, and you know what her favorite line is?" Izzie shook her head and Mark took a deep breath. "The thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end."
Hope you guys liked it! I know some of you are opposed to this Kalen/Mark thing, but don't freak out, yet, okay? They aren't definitely going to end up together…..
