Enjoy.
CHAPTER 7
Dean woke up to a day when the sun was shining. He was in a good mood and quickly took a shower. Then he went downstairs for breakfast. He told his parents Cas was coming to help paint and his father said that was nice. In that case he would leave the painting to the boys and go finish the toaster. His mother said she looked forward to meeting Cas; like all parents she wanted to know what sort of people her children spent their time with, and Dean had spent a lot of time with Cas lately.
"Isn't Stan coming over too?" she asked.
"No, I haven't asked him," Dean said.
"Well, why not? It could be fun for the three of you to do this together."
"I think he had plans with a girl," Dean said. He hadn't considered asking Stan. He suddenly felt guilty. He'd been so preoccupied with Cas that he hadn't spent much time with his best friend. He would have to remedy that. Maybe he could do something with him tomorrow.
At 11 o'clock, Dean heard the sound of a skateboard coming down the street and he knew it was Cas. He felt a pang of nerves. It was important for him that his parents like him. At some point, he had to tell them they were together. He had no idea how to do that, though. He was worried about his father's reaction. He felt sure his mother would be able to handle it better.
Dean went and opened the door. Cas made a movement like he was going to kiss him but then stopped himself. He smiled at him instead and Dean wished they'd been alone. He came in and Sam was there immediately, asking him about his skateboard.
"Cool skateboard! Can I try it?"
"Sam, don't bother him," their mother said, while she said hello to Cas.
"Mom I just want to know if I can try it."
"Sure. Some other time I'll teach you to skate on it," Cas said.
"Cool," Sam said again.
Dean's father came down and said hello to Cas and then they went upstairs to get started. They covered the floor and the skirting boards with plastic and then poured the paint into the trays. Then Dean's father thought they could handle the rest themselves because he disappeared soon after. When Dean realized they were alone, he went over to Cas and pulled him in for a kiss. Cas made a sound like he was afraid they were going to be discovered, but Dean held him tight, their bodies pressed together, and Cas soon forgot everything around him. When they parted, Dean licked at Cas' lips, placing little kisses on his mouth, their breaths mingling.
Cas laughed a little and said "Don't get started. You won't be able to control yourself and then your parents will find out about us in a very unfortunate way."
Dean laughed. He thought Cas was probably right.
Cas took off his hoodie and threw it on the floor. The t-shirt he was wearing underneath got caught and lifted up, showing his stomach. Dean sighed. They hadn't really done anything else that kiss and rub their hands under each other's shirts, and of course there was the blow job Cas gave Dean, but they had taken it slow. Seeing Cas' naked skin made Dean realize he wanted to go further. He picket up the paint roller and rolled it in the paint.
They spent a fun morning painting and when they took a break, Sam made an appearance again. He hadn't helped. He felt that Cas could make up for him not being there. Sam started asking about the skateboard again. How much had it cost? Where did he buy it? What kind of designs were there? Dean tried to get him to buzz off but he was persistent.
"Leave me alone or I'll tell Cas about your embarrassing date last night," Sam said.
Dean went completely cold. He quickly looked at Cas, who looked at Dean. His eyes had lost all their sparkle.
"Shut up Sam!" Dean yelled with so much hate in his voice that Sam went silent. Then he turned around and ran to his room.
"You went on a date?" Cas asked. Dean could hear how hurt and confused he was.
"I didn't...well I did but I was pushed into it," Dean tried to explain.
Right then his mother showed up in the doorway, having heard Dean yell.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Sam was pestering us," Dean said.
"Is that a reason to yell at him?" his mother asked.
Dean just wanted to explain to Cas who was starting to pick up his hoodie.
"I'm sorry," Dean said, half to his mother, half to Cas.
"I think you should go and apologize to your brother."
"I will," Dean said. He just wanted her to go so he could talk to Cas.
She finally left and he turned to look at Cas.
"Look, this girl I used to like asked me out and I couldn't say no, so I had to along with it..."
"It's fine," Cas said.
But it wasn't. Dean could tell.
"Please Cas," he said.
"Look, Dean I know it's difficult to come to terms with the fact that you're suddenly attracted to a guy, but if you're going to have a public relationship with her and see me in secret, then...well, I'm not going to go along with that." He was trying to keep his emotions in, but his voice trembled a little.
"I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you! And I don't want to keep you a secret. I just need some time to figure out how to tell my parents."
"But you went on a date with her. And even though we've been together for weeks now you still haven't told anybody." He had put on his hoodie and was making for the door. Dean desperately tried to explain.
"My mom thought I should go. To figure out how I felt about her."
"And how do you feel about her?" Cas didn't look at him the whole time. Dean went over to him and took his face in his hands.
"I don't feel anything for her. I haven't since I met you."
He could see the hurt in his eyes, and he didn't know what to do to make it better. Cas pulled his face back.
"Cas...," Dean said.
"You should have told me," he said.
"I know, and I sorry. Please. I only want you."
He tried to kiss him but Cas pulled away. Then he said "I need some time to think."
Dean felt a fist around his heart.
"To think? About what?"
"I can't be with someone who lies to me. I need someone I can trust. Someone who will admit to having a relationship with me."
"You can trust me. I was trying to do the right thing. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Everybody was listening when she asked me out. I couldn't say no."
Cas looked at him. "Are you that easily manipulated?" he asked. His eyes had a hardness in them Dean didn't like at all.
The question took Dean by surprise. "What do you mean?"
"A girl asks you out and you have to say yes because people are listening?"
Dean opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
Cas turned around to leave.
"When can I see you again?" Dean asked.
"I don't know," Cas said, then he left.
His mother came up a moment later to see if he had been to apologize to Sam. "Where's Cas?" she asked.
"Um..he had to go."
"Oh," she said surprised.
"Have you spoken to Sam?"
"No, I'll do it now."
Dean knocked on Sam's door. He couldn't get his thoughts together for this. Not now, when Cas had left and Dean didn't know if he would ever see him again.
Sam didn't answer, so Dean quietly opened the door.
"Sam?" he said, into the room.
"Go away!", Sam yelled.
Dean sighed, opened the door and slipped inside.
"I said go away!" Sam cried out.
He was sitting on his bed reading a book, or pretending to. It was upside down.
Dean went over and sat down next to him.
"I'm sorry, Sammy."
"Don't call me that!"
"Alright. I'm sorry Sam."
"You're not sorry," Sam muttered.
"I didn't mean to be so harsh. But you were butting in where you had no right."
"I was only teasing. We always tease each other."
"I know. But...Cas was here and..."
"So? You have no problem when Stan's here."
"That's different."
"How?" Sam asked sounding dubious.
"Well...Sam I need you to keep a secret for me."
"What secret?" Sam asked, sounding suspicious. This was probably an attempt at making him forget he was mad at Dean.
"You have to promise me you won't tell anyone. Not Mom or Dad, or your friends. Not anybody."
"Alright."
"Well...You know when you like someone, and they like you...and..."
"Is this about Ariana?"
"No...it's about Cas."
Sam chewed on that for a while. Then his eyes went wide and his mouth opened.
"What!" he said. "You and Cas are...eww!"
"Now look, Sam. You promised not to tell anyone. I don't want people to know. Not just yet." Dean said, trying to calm Sam down.
"That's disgusting!"
"It's not disgusting!"
"Yes it is. Kissing a boy?"
"Girls kiss boys."
"Yeah, but they're girls."
"So...?"
"It's just eww," Sam said, making a disgusted face.
"But you won't tell. Not to anybody?"
"No. I already told you I won't." He calmed down a bit.
"Alright. Thanks, Sam."
After a moment's silence Sam asked. "So you and Cas are...kissing?"
"Yes."
He made a funny face again. "And you like it?"
"Yes."
"And you like Cas?"
"Yes, I do. Very much."
"And I screwed it up by telling him you went on a date. I'm sorry Dean." Sam looked sad.
"It's alright Sammy. I had to tell him sometime and he would probably have been just as mad."
"He got mad? What did he say?"
"Umm...he just needs some time to process." Dean didn't want Sam to feel worse.
"Maybe I could talk to him? Tell him how bad a time you had?"
"Let's call that plan B."
"Alright."
Late afternoon, Dean went to give his room a second coat of paint and Sam offered to help to make up for the problems he felt he had caused. Dean enjoyed spending time with him and their mother was happy to see them do something together.
In the evening he sent a message to Cas.
-I'm really sorry about what I did. Please forgive me.
He got a reply but not the one he wanted.
-I need some time to think.
Dean decided not to press him. He spent the rest of the weekend putting his things back into his room. Stan had plans so Dean would have to spend time with him another time.
His mother had made some new curtains for him, his old ones were white and she didn't feel they went with the green so she had made some in a dark golden brown that really set the colour on the wall off. Dean was happy with his new room. But he would have been happier if Cas had been there to enjoy it with him.
Monday at school, he didn't see Ariana once. He thought she probably stayed away because he had hurt her. He did see some of her friends and judging by the looks they gave him, she had told them all about their date.
Stan wanted to hear all the details.
"Nothing happened. We went to the movies and then I drove her home."
"What? Surely that's not all that happened?" Stan said with disbelief in his voice.
"Yes, that's exactly what happened."
"You went to the movies and then you drove her home?"
"Yes."
"Are you crazy?" Stan's voice went all high. "You were on a date with a hot girl and you didn't do anything?"
"Sorry."
"Man!" Stan said. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
In the afternoon, Bobby started to teach Dean how to change the brake cables. He wouldn't be allowed to do it himself, since he wasn't a real mechanic but Bobby thought it would be a good investment to teach him. The money Dean earned was put aside in the bank and with the allowance he got from his chores he had a nice sum saved up.
Friday came around, and Dean still hadn't heard from Cas. He had picked up his phone many times, wanting to send him a message, but he had asked for time to think. Dean was getting nervous. It had almost been a week.
Saturday morning he decided to go to the park to see if Cas was there. Just because it would make him feel better to see him in person, even if he didn't speak to him. He hid behind some bushes so he wouldn't be spotted. He didn't want Cas to think he was checking up on him and be more mad than he already was. Cas was there with his friends. They were skating around but soon left, going past the place where Dean was standing. He jumped into the bushes to hide, feeling completely stupid. As they were walking by, he heard Frank say. "C'mon Cas. Don't let a little thing like that get between you. You like him. Try to imagine what it's like for him. He's been straight all his life and now he suddenly has to tell people he likes boys? That's tough, man, especially for a teenager."
Dean liked that Frank. Yes he did. He smiled as he walked home. At least Cas still liked him. He felt there was a small chance things would turn out in his favour.
Dean and Sam had to spend the evening alone because their parents were going for dinner with some friends. They were allowed to order a pizza and they had rented a movie to watch. Sam had suggested Friday the 13th and Dean had given him his answer by punching him on the shoulder. They had eventually decided on The Godfather.
About 30 minutes into the movie the doorbell rang and Dean went to open. Outside was Cas, skateboard in hand. Dean hadn't even heard him come down the street. His face broke into a big smile and Cas smiled back looking a little unsure.
"I didn't know if you would be home," he said.
Dean opened the door wider so he could come in. He put his skateboard down in the hall and Sam came out to see who it was.
"Oh, hi...Cas," he said, cheeks blushing a little.
"Hi, Sam." Cas said, looking at him with happy eyes.
"Still want me to teach you to skate?"
"Um, sure. I'm going back to the movie," he said and ran off.
"Our parents aren't home. We're watching The Godfather." Dean explained.
"Oh."
"Let's go to my room," Dean said.
"So, Sam had a healthy rosy glow to his cheeks," Cas said and threw himself on Dean's bed.
Dean laughed. "Yeah. He thinks it's disgusting."
"What is?"
"You know, boys kissing."
"You told him?" Cas said. He sounded surprised but pleased.
"Yeah, well, I had to tell him why I went so crazy on him."
"Your room looks nice," Cas said, looking around.
"Yeah, it turned out alright."
Dean went over and laid down next to Cas, snuggling up to him. They lay for a while, then Dean said
"Ariana was the girl I liked before I met you. I had been wanting to go on a date with her for ages and my friends knew that and she heard in a roundabout way. But when I didn't ask her at the party she decided it was because I was shy. That's why she asked me out. She did it in the middle of the cafeteria and I couldn't turn her down in front of everybody."
He thought for a while, Cas' hand was on his arm, his thumb stroking it.
"I asked my Mom what to do and she said if I went on the date I could easier tell her I wasn't interested. So I went on the date. It was terrible. All I wanted was to be with you. I guess I made a really bad decision."
After a moment's silence Cas asked.
"So what did you tell her?"
"I told her that she was nice but that we probably shouldn't do it again. She got the point. I haven't seen her since. We just went to the movies and then I drove her home. I'm really sorry."
Cas sighed.
Dean said "I really only want to be with you." He kissed Cas' neck, making him squeeze Dean's arm.
"Promise me you won't do anything like it again?"
"I promise. I promise," Dean whispered and kissed him on the mouth. Cas willingly parted his lips for him and Dean felt dizzy.
Then there was a very loud knock on the door. Nobody entered. Dean smiled and sat up.
"Come in, Sam," he called.
Sam opened the door slowly one eye peeking inside. "Are you decent?" he asked, making the two laugh.
"Yes, we're decent," Dean said.
"Are you coming down to watch the film? I'm bored on my own."
"We'll be right there," Dean said and got off the bed and Sam ran off happy.
Cas got off the bed and pulled Dean in for another kiss.
"It makes me happy that you told Sam," he whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it means you're not embarrassed to be with me."
"I'll never be embarrassed about that," Dean assured him.
They went downstairs to watch the movie. Sam instructed them not to kiss or touch each other. In fact, they probably shouldn't even sit on the sofa together.
"Don't push it," Dean said, and sat down next to Cas taking his hand.
Sam rolled his eyes and stared intently at the TV.
