Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Though I do own the slang "Vagina Cabinet." Go ahead, you can use it. I give you permission.
September 13, 1991
Herman is no longer speaking to us. Good. Women should be seen and not heard. And in the kitchen. Making me a goddamn sandwich.
September 14
Why do you think it's called a sandwich? It has no sand, nor does it have witch. Maybe it's because witches are supposed to be making them. That sounds about right.
September 15
God, school is so boring. You'd think with me around it be all fun, but NO. We have to do work. Stupid Herman. All her fault.
September 16
Got my eyes on a pretty young thang. Lavender Brown. First one to hit puberty. Now has huuuge honkers. Like hubba hubba. Me likey.
September 17
Learned that Ron has a younger sister. Got mad when I asked if he hit that.
September 18
I bet you McGonagall and Mrs. Norris do it as cats. That be gross.
September 19
Apparently Herman's birthday today. YUCK.
September 20
Got my broom today and had my first Quidditch practice. Alone. With Wood. What a little bugger ;)
Quidditch = Awesomest game EVER. I'm like a speedy gonzalas. Gonzalos? How do you spell that?
September 25
More Quidditch. The girls on the team are HAWT. Like man. Wanna tap it.
October 1, 1991
OCTOBERRRR. Been here a month already. Time flies when you're having fun.
October 6
Harry is in love with Snape!
Later
Ron wrote that. I swear...
October 13
Turned Ron's hands into candy. Take that you bastard!
October 31
Hallowe'en.
Charms class. Finally learned a useful spell. Herman's such a hipster. It's LeviOsa not LeviosA. Bitch shut the fuck up.
Later
Troll was in the dungeon. Me and Ron saved Herman. Now she's all grateful. I wonder if she'll put out now?
Even Later:
She informed me that no, she won't put out and her name is Hermione. Blah Blah Blah.
Authouress' Note: New chapppy, Potterheads. Doing a chapter for every chapter in the book, or if two chapters on same day, one big one. Thanks for all the reviews. Obviously this story is not canon. Like at all.
Cheers darlings!
FiercePhoenix
