CHAPTER 7

IN SEARCH OF WISDOM

A/N- If you haven't read it yet, there is an outtake that was posted last week. It's a Bella POV outtake that takes place before the events of this story but which were briefly referenced in chapter 5. It's entitled "Christening the Aston Martin." You can find it at:

http : / www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6347475/1 or you can find it on my profile under "My Stories."

I returned from my hunting trip three days ago. Unfortunately, I am no closer to figuring things out with Bella. I know something is...off. I just can't figure out what it is, and how to make it right.

I am still not comfortable with engaging in sexual relations with Bella again. Just thinking about how close I came to biting her in Miami, nearly paralyzes me with fear and anxiety. The topic has not come up again as Bella began her monthly cycle while I was away, but I know she will figure out my reluctance if I refuse her tomorrow. I think she is already suspicious as I have not even asked for fellatio for over a week.

Bella and I resume classes tomorrow. Between her busy work schedule and studies, she is going to have very little free time over the next several months. At least I will have two classes with her and we will continue our tradition of studying together.

I hear their thoughts before they ring the doorbell. Alice and Rosalie are here. My family's birthday gift to Bella was to set her up with a home gym. She graciously accepted, and the various equipment they purchased, was delivered a few days ago. We are using one of our spare bedrooms for the gym. Alice and Rosalie are here to set up the yoga meditation area so that it will be complete.

Personally, I feel like it was just as much a gift for me as Bella. I was always uncomfortable when she left early in the mornings for the gym; oftentimes before daylight.

I welcome my sisters with hugs. Yes, even Rosalie. For some odd reason, her behavior doesn't bother me as much as it once did. That was back before I had Bella.

"When will Bella be back?" Alice asks as she and Rosalie makes a bee line to the recently converted gym.

"Not for a few more hours. She had to go to the office."

"On a Sunday?" Rosalie questions.

"The firm is involved in some sort of big case and it requires a lot of attention. Bella's trying to finish up with some research before we start back to school."

While I detest being away from her, I really am proud of her dedication and passion for her work.

"I really like this green color that Esme picked out for the walls," Rosalie comments, as she looks around Bella's gym.

"Very serene," Alice agrees.

I am standing at the door, with my hands shoved in my pockets. I feel awkward, but I want to ask my sisters for their advice. I still haven't figured out why Bella has been so keen on being disagreeable and pushing me so hard lately.

Scenes of differing futures flash through Alice's mind as I waffle on whether to ask. "For goodness' sake, just ask us, Edward," Alice says with exasperation as she rearranges some free weights.

My eyes are on my feet as I try to articulate the best way to ask my sisters what I am doing wrong with Bella.

"I was wondering if Bella has mentioned to you…has she mentioned if something was bothering her?"

"She did say you were lousy in bed," Rosalie says nonchalantly as she rolls out various yoga mats in the far corner of the room.

"What?" I shout, nearly reeling in shock. But my shock only lasts for a split second. Rosalie's thoughts reveal she is not being truthful, and just trying to get a rise out of me.

"Just kidding, Edward. Relax." She responds in a voice oozing boredom with a hint of disdain. So much for our truce.

"Why do you think something is bothering her?" Alice asks.

"Well, I know this sounds odd, but for a while now, it seems as if she wants to...make me angry." It sounds more strange when I verbalize it, but I am utterly convinced that is what is going on and has been going on for a while now.

Rosalie speaks up first. "You're saying Bella is purposefully trying to make you angry? Are you sure you are not just being an ass?"

"How can I be an ass, Rosalie?" I ask in frustration. "My whole purpose is to make her as happy as possible. I give the woman everything she wants!"

A part of me knows it is not fair to take my frustration out on Rosalie. But it doesn't stop my temper from flaring.

That's not exactly true Edward. I know about your plan to withhold sex from Bella.

Alice's thoughts only incite me more.

"Oh, so I'm the bad guy because I'm trying to keep Bella safe? Alice, I could kill her," I defend myself.

"Stop having one sided conversations. What is he talking about, Alice?" Rosalie asks.

"Things got a little rough in bed last week and now Edward is scared to have sex with Bella. He's been able to successfully avoid the topic until now, but she is going to push the issue tomorrow. And she will be very hurt and very angry when she finds out her fiancé has decided they are not going to have sex until he feels it is safe again."

"Dammit, Alice. That is hardly Rosalie's business!" I seethe.

"Hey, I didn't have any intention of bringing this up. You're the one that started this conversation."

"Was Bella hurt?" Rosalie asks.

Before I can answer, Alice does it for me. "No, Edward retained control as always. Bella likes it a little rough. She actually enjoyed it and so did Edward, even though he doesn't want to admit it."

I can't believe they are standing in front of me calmly discussing my sex life.

"Alice, a little discretion, please!" I hiss.

"Well, it's not going to be a secret for long anyway. After you announce to Bella tomorrow night that you are not going to have sex with her, she is going to tell Esme."

"What? Why would she do that?"

"Because she's going to be pissed and she knows Esme will be sympathetic. You know Esme doesn't like a selfish lover."

I almost stutter I am so shocked at what I am hearing.

"Selfish? How can I be selfish? I want to make sure I don't kill her in a fit of bloodlust, or lose control for God's sake! Isn't that the opposite of selfish?"

Both Alice and Rosalie shake their heads, and Alice even makes the "tsk" sound.

"Edward, you are regressing. You're scared and unsure and instead of just addressing the issue you're overcompensating," Alice says, with her hands on her hips.

"Do you honestly think Bella is not going to be beyond pissed if you tell her that you are not going to sleep with her until you deem it safe to continue?" Rosalie asks with her voice laced in disbelief.

"Listen, I don't need your judgment. I won't be bullied into risking Bella's safety," I respond firmly. "I just wanted to know if Bella may have told you if something was bothering her."

"Well, in answer to your question, no. But if something is wrong, I'm sure she's just responding to your emotional unavailability," Rosalie says pointedly. A flash of a magazine article flicker's in Rosalie's mind.

"Oh, dear God. You're reading Cosmo too," I say in exasperation, throwing my hands up in the air.

Why can't I just get a straight answer? Maybe my siblings are not the best source of information. Maybe I should ask Carlisle. He's at the hospital today. I've been meaning to see him about volunteering in the hospital's legal department in order to satisfy my pro bono requirement before graduation.

It's decided. Yes, I will ask Carlisle. Carlisle is mature, intelligent, and above all, rationale. He always has insight and good advice to dispense. I tell my sisters to lock up after themselves as I hurriedly grab my keys and head to the hospital to see Carlisle, the wisest man I know.

X * X * X * X

"I have no fucking clue," Carlisle says with uncharacteristic impatience in response to my question.

"Carlisle?" I question, shocked at not only his rare use of profanity, but his lack of helpful advice in response to my question. I simply described how Bella has been acting and then asked for his guidance on what I should do.

"I'm sorry, son. I don't mean to sound so unhelpful. You're just catching me at a bad time. I am not exactly feeling confident in my judgment where women are concerned at this time."

Your mother is not exactly happy with me at the moment and I am a bit uncertain as to what to do, he adds silently in his thoughts.

"What is she upset about?" I ask solicitously. After having experienced my first long-term relationship with Bella, I now have new found respect and sympathy for Carlisle, as well as my brothers, who have struggled to keep their mates happy for decades.

"I think it's just old fashioned jealousy, although what Esme has to be jealous about I don't know," he says as he leans back in his desk chair and rests his chin on the tip of his clasped hands.

"Is she jealous of the time you spend at work?" I ask confused. "It certainly can't be another woman," I add. I have been privy to Carlisle's thoughts for the last eighty plus years. He has never given another woman a second thought- literally.

"No, she's jealous of a woman: a Miss Paige Sweeney, to be exact. Ironically, she's the same woman that will be your boss here at the hospital. She's just been named as the hospital's lead in-house counsel."

"Carlisle, I don't understand."

"I don't really understand myself, Edward, but I will tell you what I know," he says, clearly anxious and frustrated.

"Miss Sweeney started here last week, and requested a meeting with me immediately. She wanted to review some of the protocols we use in the emergency room and actually had some insightful suggestions on how to minimize our risk for malpractice litigation."

I nod, asking him to continue even though I am seeing clips of his conversations in his memories as they move through his mind.

"I guess I made the mistake of sharing how much I admired Miss Sweeney with Esme. She's a very young woman who has earned a very respectable position in a male dominated field."

"And?" I urge him to continue.

"And suddenly Esme got upset, and asked me if I was implying that 'house designing' was just a woman's field. Then she started yelling at me for not noticing she had changed the color of the walls in our bedroom. Edward, she changes those colors all the time!" He ends his rant, bringing his hands down flat on his desk.

I am stunned. In all the time I have known them, my parents rarely fight. When they do, it is usually over very mundane things and doesn't last for long.

"So, when you ask me to explain to you why women do things that make absolutely no sense you are asking for the impossible."

"Carlisle, I'm sorry. I had no idea," I say sympathetically.

Carlisle nods and expresses his gratitude for my words in his thoughts.

"I've tried to reassure her numerous times, but she doesn't seem convinced."

"How do you plan to handle the situation?" I ask curiously.

"For now, I'm just hoping that Esme will get over it. I'm damn sure not saying anything remotely positive about Miss Sweeney, and I'm going out of my way to notice and compliment Esme on every miniscule change she makes at the house."

I nod. It seems like a solid plan. I can't help but believe they will work this out in short order. Certainly, Esme can't believe Carlisle would actually be attracted to another woman.

"Maybe I should adopt the same strategy," I muse. "Maybe I should just wait and see if this just passes and do everything I can to make sure that we don't fight. I can be agreeable. I can be conciliatory."

"Well, you know I'm a fan of being honest with our mates. If you're honest and talk to your partner, I have to have faith you can work through anything."

Carlisle's train of thought quickly changes direction.

"Well, while you are here, let me introduce you to Paige, and you can talk to her about some sort of schedule. I previously mentioned your volunteering in her department and she was very enthused about the idea."

"She's here? On a Sunday?"

Carlisle smiles. "She's a very dedicated young woman."

Then his tone and expression turns very serious. "But please don't tell your mother I said that."

E/N—Poor Edward. Why can't he find a simple answer to his dilemma? When solid, strong, wise Carlisle is having trouble, is there any help for the rest of them?

You know I have to thank the special ladies that make this story possible.

Eviekinz, my dedicated beta, who deserves an award for best beta. Is there an award for that? If there is, please send me a link. I have a nomination to make.

Lemonmartinis, a wonderful pre-reader who sets me straight, (in between writing her own stories, work, children, a husband who seems to be a handful and oh, competing in a triathlon).

Sis, who is my inspiration for all things humorous, especially when she drinks. And as for my other sister-from-another-mister, she helps keep me sane when life and work get crazy.

Don't forget to review. I see all of you sneaky people adding this story to your favs without a word. I'm going to send my drunken sis after you...lol.

All things Twilight belong to SM.