A/N: Hello lovely readers, followers and favouriters! Thank you for you continued support, it really is very much appreciated!
A head's up, this is the last weekly update. There is special update on 10th October, from then onwards updates will be every TWO weeks.
This chapter is a little shorter, but its setting up things for future chapters.
Disclaimer: No copyright intended, all recognisable characters belong to their respective owners. I only own Percy.
Chapter 6 – New Beginnings
Three weeks later, July
I woke up with a gasp. I sat bolt upright in bed my pyjamas soaked in sweat. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. The dream was already fading, but it left a very bad feeling. Now I was a wake, I felt more exhausted than before I went to bed. I felt like I'd run a marathon.
Before I knew what I was doing I was dialing Jim's number, my gut was telling me I needed to hear his voice. His mobile went straight to voicemail. I tried the home phone, his study phone both with no reply. I tried his 'office' number to no avail. I knew he wouldn't simply ignore me, he liked games, and he'd want to torment me for however long he could. There was also a part of me that hoped, if the situation were dire enough, he'd be there to help? I was desperate enough to phone Moran.
"Hello Princess, how can I help you?" Moran crooned.
"Where is he?" I asked firmly, trying to sound less panicked than I felt.
"Where's who Princess?" He mocked.
"You know damn well who." I snapped and sighed. "Just tell me he's alright, please." I asked gently. I had to know my gut feeling was off.
"Afraid I can't, he's currently indisposed." Moran added unhelpfully.
"What do you mean indisposed, just tell me where Moriarty is!" I shouted.
"Ooh, using surnames, this is interesting. Not asking for your beloved husband, or should that be ex-husband, well soon to be." Moran said snidely.
"What, what are you talking about?" I asked, the gut feeling churning darkly.
"Indisposed and nearly dead are the same thing, I suppose." Moran chuckled and hung up.
Jim couldn't be dead; he wasn't dead. Mycroft would've told me, he would've known the second Jim flagged up on the system. I sat shaking like a leaf. After half an hour of staring into space my phone alarm made me jump. I had to get up and go to work. If there really were something wrong, I'd be told, contacted. I was Jim's next of kin; I was still his wife.
I forced myself to stay awake as long a possible, but sometimes the exhaustion just took over and I'd pass out. My constant lack of sleep was really affecting my work. I couldn't concentrate, but being at work was the only distraction I could attempt to focus on. It was a constant that kept me going whilst my life fell apart.
After lat night's disturbingly long night where all I could experience was the cold dead weight of a body atop of mine before I woke in a cold sweat. I took a shower and got ready for another day to pass in a blur. Like I'd expected work passed by in fits and starts. Soon it was six o'clock, as I was about to leave Anthea gave an envelope. Inside was a card, a sympathy card.
To Percy,
My deepest condolences for the loss you have suffered.
Anthea and Alex. x
I stared at the card bewildered. Before my conscious mind had made a decision I was running. I ran through the streets of Central London towards my old home. Surely that would hold some answers. I tried my best no to knock commuters out of the way and tourists into the busy road, but they were slowing me down. I narrowly missed being hit by a bus as I turned a corner blindly.
I'd made it to Regent's park in ten minutes, after a flat out sprint. I stopped before turning onto Park Crescent; I let myself catch my breath. It was going to be fine; it was just a misunderstanding at the card, and honest mistake. Jim wasn't dead; he couldn't be dead. I steeled my nerves, clenching my fist and wrapped the other around my bag's straps so you couldn't see my hands shaking. I didn't have a key anymore, but picking the lock was too easy, perhaps I should mention that? I entered the familiar hallway and froze. The last time I'd been here…now is not the time Percy, focus. I stepped through the downstairs of the house quietly; everything was eerily quiet and undisturbed. It felt desolate with a thick layer of dust covering most surfaces.
I poked my head around Jim's study door, which was also empty. There were no signs of a struggle or blood spatters. So he hadn't died or been hurt down here. Perhaps I should check upstairs?
I slipped off my shoes and carried them as I tiptoed up the stairs. It too was quiet, almost too quiet, then I heard it a soft moan. I felt my heart sink. I just knew it wasn't coming from any of the spare bedrooms. I paused, should I investigate further, what if I was wrong and it was a moan of pain? I could save Jim's life. I'd always been a good liar.
I pushed open the door to the master bedroom and was met with the sight of Jim's ex girlfriend, Adelena, knelt in front of my husband as he sat on the bed whilst she orally pleasured him. I couldn't decide if I wanted to cry, pull the home wrecking bitch off my husband by the hair or if I wanted to kill something. All three emotions were tumultuous and bubbling away at the surface. The feeling that really won was heartbreak, seeing the man I loved with every fibre of being with another woman was too much.
I still didn't know how I'd made myself leave. I hadn't understood any of it. It was like being trapped in a maze of riddles. I simply ran. I ran as fast as I could until I couldn't run anymore. Everywhere I looked I saw him, saw those dark eyes filled with anger and disgust. I didn't know what to do or where to turn. I made it home at 2am, found some powerful sleeping pills and downed them with a large glass of wine and passed out on the sofa. Even in my drug induced sleep the fear crept in tormenting me, haunting me. I knew the only way to stop this was something stronger. When I woke, it was 4pm. I pulled on some shoes and a coat and headed into the less savoury parts of town. In minutes I had what I needed. I rushed home, eager for the escape. I slammed the front door behind me and leaned against it panting. I caught my breath and headed up the stairs, I threw my coat over a chair and kicked off my shoes. I walked over to my bookshelf and removed a book, it was actually a box, disguised as a book, and it held the necessary equipment for me to indulge my habit. I carried the box over to the coffee table, next to the syringe. I filled the syringe with the clear liquid. I lifted the sleeve of my shirt and tied a tourniquet; I tapped my arm for a vein and smiled with satisfaction. I pressed the needle into my arm feeling that distinctive rush. It was bliss. I barely remembered to loosen the tourniquet and floated away.
"Percy? You in?" Called John, knocking as he entered. I turned to look at the door with a lazy grin.
"It's the doctor...let's fly away." I giggled.
"What? Are you okay?" Asked John confused, his expression then changing to one of concern
"I feel fantastic..." I moaned blissfully. I was so relaxed it was wonderful. John looked at me again, frowning.
"Percy, let me look at your eyes." John asked.
"Anything for you Doctor..." I smiled coyly, batting my eyelashes and then bursting into another fit of giggles. John knelt in front of me his doctor's brain taking over. He took my pulse and his frown deepened. He looked around me obviously searching for evidence to confirm his theory.
"Percy, have you been taking drugs?" He asked sternly.
"Shh, don't tell anyone." I slurred and smiled naughtily. John sighed, scrubbing his hands across his face.
"Oh god. Alright, come on, you need to sit down. Just...don't move." He instructed.
"I can't move, my legs feel like jelly. Oh maybe I'm a jellyfish?" I thought randomly, moving my arms like a jellyfish. I found this rather amusing.
"No, you're not a jellyfish. Just sit there." John said patiently. He helped me sit on the sofa. I was disappointed.
"Oh, but then I'd be all pretty and floaty and poisonous." I pouted childishly.
"You're already pretty, and possibly deadly. I think you're felling floaty right now. Just stay there, I'll get you some water." John smiled gently. I looked up him a moment of clarity bursting my hazy bubble.
"You like looking after me don't you?" I asked quietly, not breaking eye contact with my doctor.
"Yeah." He nodded. He looked slightly taken aback at my question. "I'll be right back, okay?" He checked.
"Okay." I grinned falling back against the sofa cushions. Being alone for just a few seconds sent my brain into overdrive and I felt panic rising.
"You're not going to leave me are you John?" I asked quickly, my panic evident. John looked at me with compassion.
"No, I'm right here. I'm not going to leave." He smiled and brushed my hair from my eyes. "Here, drink this." He urged kindly, but firmly, handing me a glass of water. I smiled at him.
"It feels funny on my tongue." I said airily.
"Just drink it." John chided coming to sit next to me. I was so aware he was sat next to me. It felt as though my nerve endings were on high alert. I was only centimetres away from John. I sipped away at the water and felt the cloud lifting slightly, although that could have been time, I'd shot up four hours ago. I turned my head to look at John more closely. He was handsome and strong, he always had been. I'd had such a crush on John when I was growing up. He'd been so kind to me and had always been there, a silent strength in my life. I felt my heart flutter at the thought of being with John.
"I think I like you more than I should." I said quietly with wide glassy eyes. John started at me shocked and awkwardness fell between us.
"Uh...we...we'll worry about that later, okay?" He stuttered.
"I nearly died yesterday." I admitted. The games Moriarty was playing with me were terrifying and painful. "Sorry…" I muttered.
"As long as it wasn't your fault, don't apologise." John sighed. He thought I'd been trying to overdose. The games were my fault.
"I don't know, I didn't understand the game." I said mournfully.
"What game?" John asked looking at me confused.
"The game he made me play." I whispered.
"Who?" John asked.
"J-j...Moriarty." I stuttered tearily.
"Bastard." John muttered angrily. "It's okay, you're alright and you're safe now. Is that why you took the drugs?" John's voice was clam and soothing. I nodded in response.
"I was scared, it makes the fear go away." I answered timidly.
"Well, next time call me first, okay?" He demanded.
"I'm sorry, I don't want you to be upset with me. I've been trying so hard." I apologised, my voice still sad. I felt like a berated child. I felt guilty, but I couldn't stop. "Sherlock understands why, but he's not here anymore." I sniffed, a few tears escaping.
"I know you've been trying, but if you call me next time, I can help you stay strong. Even Sherlock needed help sometimes." John said reassuringly. I nodded minimally. I took John's hand in mine and gripped it tightly, resting my head on his right shoulder.
"You're keeping me alive Doctor Watson." I admitted honestly. John smiled a little.
"I'm only helping a little." He dismissed.
"You help me a lot. You always have." I smiled. John had always been there for me and got me out of trouble more than once.
"Well, what would I do without my terror in my life?" He asked playfully.
"Be worry free?" I chuckled.
"Well, what fun would that be?" John asked as though it would be the end of the world.
"Not much fun at all?!" I answered, but it came out as a question. I was searching for John reassuring nature and the knowledge that I wasn't alone.
"Exactly." He confirmed. "There isn't much I can do, you've just got to wait until the drugs wear off." He stated.
"I know. You're going to be in for a fun night." I smirked, another giggle leaving my lips.
"Don't worry about it. I've been through much worse. I was an army doctor remember? And I lived with Sherlock." He dismissed calmly, like this was normality for him. John: forever strong and steadfast.
"I should warn you now, I get a bit touchy feely..." I informed somewhat flirtatiously. John looked at me a little confused.
"It doesn't matter how you get when you come down, I'm not going to leave your side tonight, alright?" He stated firmly. I felt a rush of butterflies burst in my stomach and my heart swelled.
"Should be fun." I grinned cheekily.
"Actually, you need to get some rest." John said hiding his smirk.
"But that's so boring and I have so much energy..." I whined like a child. When I was high I did become very playful and pouty like a toddler.
"Not really, it just feels like it." John countered.
"Do you know when I'm high I can't play the piano." I giggled. It was an odd phenomenon.
"Because it affects your hand eye coordination. It affects your coordination period, actually." John explained, the doctor in him reappearing.
"I love it when you get technical..." I grinned seductively, and before the moment grew I started to laugh.
"You would be the first." John replied a little disgruntled. I felt sorry for him. He was such a good man.
"Only because I understand the science. You're a smart cookie; you need another smart cookie to be friends with." I smiled. "Sherlock wouldn't be a cookie, he's be something else. It was so nice to see him but I miss him." I rambled. I didn't notice John's frown but kept rambling. "I should probably stop talking about Sherlock, you're not supposed to know he's alive." I whispered conspiratorially.
"It doesn't matter, because he's not." John said bitterly, shaking his head.
"Oops." I said innocently. I wanted to cheer John up and blurted.
"If I told you I think I love you what would you do?" John looked at me a little surprised.
"Uh...well..." he stuttered and cleared his throat. "What...what would you want to do? If you felt like that?" He asked nervously.
"Be happy." I answered innocently. John smiled a little.
"Well, I would do my best to make you happy." John admitted and we caught each other's gaze, there was a moment between us.
"I know." I smiled. I leaned towards John and kissed his cheek. I tried to stand up but my legs gave way under me. John caught me in his strong arms.
"Whoa, careful." He warned.
"I want to go for a walk but my legs won't work." I moaned. I felt silly.
"Well, you just sit down for a while. Maybe the effects will wear off enough soon so you can walk." He offered and nodded. John helped me back onto the sofa. I cuddled up to him and felt him put a tentative arm around my shoulders.
"You're so caring John, I hope you find someone to love." I smiled.
"Thanks." He smiled in return.
I didn't remember falling asleep. Somehow I'd ended up in bed. Strange. I was getting flashes of a person, oh John. John had come over; he'd looked after me. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and gently stretched. I felt kind of gross, sweaty and achy from the stomach cramps. I'd taken a low dose, so the come down effects weren't too violent. I wiped off my smeared eyeliner and mascara and brushed my hair before entering the small living room. I found John sat on the sofa with a cup of tea.
"Morning, when did I fall asleep?" I asked tiredly.
"Um, about 1am, I think? You were quite a chatterbox last night. Do you remember anything?" John asked, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
"I'm getting jellyfish and falling over after saying something I thought was profound. I apologise in advance if I'm cranky, I'm not the most pleasant person when I'm recovering." I yawned. I felt prickly and irritable. I needed a good cup of tea. Possibly more sleep.
"Don't worry about it. Remember, I've dealt with both your brothers. I can take it." John dismissed his eyes twinkling with humour.
"Do you have super powers?!" I quipped. I got a flash of awkwardness and felt bad. "Umm, last night...I didn't say anything bad or wildly inappropriate did I?" I asked nervously. John smiled.
"Nothing too outrageous. Nothing I didn't mind." He answered kindly.
"Are you going to tell me what I said?" I asked intrigued by what I'd admitted. John's eyes darted around nervously and he took a breath.
"Uh, you said you think you like me more than you should, and then you asked me what I would do if you said you loved me." He answered. I felt those butterflies again.
"And what would you do?" I asked again.
"I told you I would do my best to make you happy." He replied with a warm smile.
"I want to make you happy too." I admitted, a blush staining my cheeks. He smiled at me again, but his expression turned serious.
"Then please promise me you'll never do that again." He demanded. I didn't need clarification; I knew he meant he cocaine.
"I promise." I answered quietly, guilt panging through my insides. Making a promise I might not be able to keep.
"Alright then." Nodded John. Apparently appeased with my answered and remorse. "And in case you don't remember from last night, if you feel like you can't stay strong enough, call me." He offered, his voice gentler.
"I will." I nodded, looking at John with sad eyes. I didn't want to burden him. I didn't want him to get hurt either.
"You should probably eat some breakfast. My treat." John said swiftly, leaving no room for argument.
"Sounds lovely, thank you. Oh and next time you stay; don't sleep on the sofa. Just sleep in my room, it doesn't have to be anything more than sleeping, but I want you to be comfortable." I smiled. I knew I could trust John, it was myself I wasn't sure about, but there was no need for him to cripple himself.
"Thanks." He smiled. He looked at the sofa. "That sofa isn't very kind on the back." He agreed.
"Nope, they've been in storage since I was a student." I said. I told John I wanted to freshen up and nipped into the bathroom to wash my face and clean my teeth. I got changed into a causal jumper and my favourite grey jeans and some converse. Comfort was all I cared about. I came out of my room ten minutes late and smiled at John. He gestured towards the door.
"Shall we, then?" He asked. I took John's hand.
"Lead the way." I beamed.
We walked hand in hand in the bright April sunshine. We stopped at a small café I'd never been to before and John smiled secretively. He said something quietly to the waiter; I eyed him curiously. He just gave me a knowing smile and watched the people come and go. We sat in comfortable silence. The waiter came back with a pot huge pot of tea and two plates. I smiled, John had ordered my favourite breakfast, and I was amazed that he remembered. A lightly buttered, toasted bagel with scrambled egg with peppers and ham. I thought I wouldn't be hungry but looking at the food, my stomach growled in contradiction. I tucked in happily. We enjoyed our breakfast laughing and joking about the adventures we had growing up. John even opened up and told me a few stories about things Sherlock had done. My particular favourite was an incident with some body parts in the bath and how a date who'd stayed over went into the bathroom to find the human organs and ran away screaming about psychopaths and murderers. Sherlock had apparently been totally bemused by the screaming.
We strolled down to the river and walked all day along its banks. I took John to Borough Market, a place he'd never been. I was astounded at this fact. It's where I loved to shop when I had lots of cooking to do and it made me want to eat, so John said he'd bring me here twice a week to make sure I ate at regular intervals. I laughed.
We found our way to Regent's park in the late afternoon and meandered our way towards Baker Street, purposefully avoiding my old house. We headed into Speedy's for a sandwich. As we left I took hold of John's hand again, a familiar feeling after our day together.
"Thank you for a lovely day. I haven't had this much fun in what feels like forever." I beamed.
"Me too. It was...it was very nice." He smiled. I stepped closer and Johns free arm wound round my waist and I leaned in and kissed my favourite doctor.
"Thank you for being you." I said lovingly.
"You always come up with great lines and everything, and I can never think of any." He smiled.
"You don't need to. You're actions speak louder and far more clearly." I said reassuringly.
"Good." He nodded and kissed me. As we broke our kiss he quietly whispered in my ear, making me shiver. "Then...would you want to stay over? You think that might be clear enough?" His voice was low and husky.
"Crystal and yes I'd love to." I grinned.
"Great." He agreed. He led me up into 221b, through the flat and up to his room.
The rest of the afternoon and all night were spent in a passionate embrace. The time spent together was wonderful, the tenderness and care we shared filled with passion and even the beginnings of love. We fell into a sated sleep, holding one another close.
"Is it morning already?" John groaned. I smirked, rolling over to look at my phone on the bedside table. It was 9am. Urgh, it was far too early. I could still feel the residual side affects of the cocaine wearing off. Stomach cramps are evil; at least I hadn't thrown up this time.
"Apparently so. Well we did go to bed quite late." I grinned. John's cheeky smile made me smile even more.
"Yeah. Well, luckily I have today off, so...you're not going to be late for work, are you?" John asked concerned. I suppressed a snort. Work could take a hike; I wanted some time to myself and to wallow in a newfound sense of happiness.
"I can't be bothered to go to work, so I'm not going." I replied lazily.
"Okay then." John replied skeptically. I think he was worried about Mycroft. I could handle my eldest brother.
"I'd much rather spend the day with you." I flirted.
"Sounds like a plan." John smiled. I leaned closer to my new lover and kissed him soundly.
"I don't plan on leaving this bed..." I informed him seductively.
"That sounds like an even better plan." John beamed. We kissed again and as we were about repeat the pervious night's activities a knock and opening door interrupted us.
"John, you up? I thought you might want some..." Angie asked. She stopped when she saw me and just stared at us. I sat up quickly and wrapped the duvet round me hiding anything I didn't want seen. I wasn't embarrassed, we were consenting adults, but Angie's shock and look of hurt riled me.
"Morning." I greeted curtly. John sat up and cleared his throat looking a little embarrassed.
"Oh, uh...hi, Ang." He muttered quietly. Angie kept staring at us. She looked as though she was battling many emotions.
"Just how long as this been going on?" Angie demanded.
"Depends how you want to look at it, either two days or three weeks." I replied with false friendship.
"Um...not...not long." John confirmed. Angie nodded stiffly.
"You...have the nerve...to accuse me of sleeping with your husband when you've been going behind everyone's backs sleeping with my brother?!" Angie shouted, her voice raising the more she spoke.
"Angie, it's not like that. When this started, she had already left him." John defended tensely.
"And what is it that you do with my brother?" I sniped. She had no room to judge me. I was sick of it. Angie glared at me icily.
"Fine. Whatever. Do whatever the hell you want, but next time, if you could be so kind as to put up a flag or something to warn me so I'm not under the same roof the next time you decide to have a little sleepover." She snapped and slammed the doors as she left. I sighed deeply.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said those things to Angie. I'll understand if you want this to stop." I said quietly, reaching to the floor to find an article of clothing. I'm sure John would want me to leave now. John shook his head.
"No, don't worry about it. Yes, it would be a bit of a shock, but it was a big shock when I found out my little sister was dating 'Mr. I'm Married to My Work'. She doesn't determine whom I date." He answered firmly and ran a gentle hand down my exposed spine. I looked at him and smiled. He wanted me and that was enough.
"So where were we before we were so rudely interrupted..." I said coyly, leaning back down towards John.
"I think I remember..." He smiled and joined our lips. The rest of the day was lost.
See you all on the 10th...Big day...
