She felt like she couldn't breathe. As she walked up and down the length of the room, peeking over at Christian's sleeping form at random intervals, she clutched at her throat as if she could somehow pry it open. Were the walls closing in? Did it somehow get hotter in the room - drier? She fanned herself with her hands, trying to take deep and steady breaths, but instead they turned out shallow and raspy.
Ana had never considered herself to be claustrophobic, but as the days dragged further on, she felt less and less comfortable indoors. Every room seemed tight, compact. She felt as if there was never enough space, like she'd never escape the cold, stark walls of Christian Grey's penthouse. Did she remember what the sun looked like? Could her eyes even adjust to the sunlight?
Her subconscious laughed at her; it had only been a week, but it felt like years. Dealing with a petulant, self-absorbed, and domineering asshole twenty four hours of the day could do that. Ana had never been pent up inside for so long - in fact, it's always been the opposite. She had a busy life: get up for work, take care of her patients, drive home, make dinner, call her parents, take a shower, go to bed and do it all over again. On her days off she pretended as if she had a life outside of her job; she cleaned the house, went to the bookstore, grabbed some coffee and rented a movie. All of those actions required movement, fresh air. Taking care of Christian was like dwelling in some purgatory. She would check his vitals, administer his medicine, then change his bandages… And then watch X-files. It was so repetitive, so drab, so stagnant.
She was going stir crazy.
Her breathing quickened and she tried to fan herself faster, which only accomplished making her more out of breath. I've got to get out of here, she thought to herself, her eyes darting to each corner of the room. She knew that in that moment she looked crazy, like some strung out lunatic or a patient in an insane asylum, but she couldn't control her body or her emotions. All she knew was that she needed to get out.
She flung open the door to Christian's room, racing down the stairs and through the foyer. She furiously jabbed the elevator call button, beckoning the doors to open sooner. Ana tried to focus on her breathing, to slow it down. Her head started to feel light, the room started to spin.
"Ms. Steele?"
She jumped, a small squeak escaping her lips. A pair of warm, rough hands enclosed themselves around her forearms. Ana looked up, faintly recognizing the man in front of her. He was Christian's security guard, or something related to that.
"I'm sorry, but Mr. Grey has specifically stated that you are to not leave his penthouse suite under any circumstances," the man said, his voice soft yet commanding.
"I… Can't… Breathe," Ana stumbled, once again clutching at her throat.
The man's face morphed into one of concern, his hands moving to Ana's shoulders in order to guide her back into the penthouse. She pulled away, forcing his hands off of her. In that moment, the elevator doors opened and she dashed inside, repeatedly pressing the '1' button in order to get to the lobby.
The man jumped in after her, at first trying to pull her back outside of the elevator, but then thought better of it. He stood beside her and coaxed her to breathe steadily as the elevator descended. When they reached the lobby she jumped out and ran towards the exit, pushing the revolving doors with all of her might. She pushed so forcefully that once she was outside, she cascaded to the ground, falling on her hands and knees.
She took a long, deep breath, filling her lungs with the fresh air. Her cheeks stung at the force of the wind, her eyes tearing up against the harsh cold. Despite the fact that it was freezing and she had on nothing but a pair of scrubs, she welcomed the feel of the air on her skin. Her breathing returned to normal and she no longer felt lightheaded or dizzy.
Warm, rough hands once again enclosed around her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice slightly tinged with amusement.
Ana realized that pedestrians were looking at her, some with concern while others walked past nonchalantly. Her cheeks tinged red and she quickly got off the ground, brushing the dirt off of her pant legs.
She nodded, taking another deep breath. "I feel much better actually."
He smiled, it was small and tightlipped, but it was genuine. He placed his hands on her shoulder once again, "I understand your condition, but Mr. Grey has made it a point for you to stay indoors."
Ana backed away, wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't go back in there," she whispered, anxiety filling her body.
He fidgeted, not sure whether to obey his boss and drag Ana back upstairs, or to allow her a few more moments of solace. He pursued his lips - surely he would have to allow her to recover - what good would she be to Mr. Grey if she couldn't even take care of her own self?
"Okay," he acquiesced, "a few minutes, but we will have to return soon." Ana bit her lip, but didn't argue any further. After all, she did sign up for this when she agreed to be Christian's personal nurse, but she really wished he wasn't so controlling.
The pair walked down the street, taking advantage of the fresh air. Ana looked calm, relaxed. She was grateful to be out of that godforsaken penthouse. Taylor, on the other hand, was praying that Mr. Grey never realized they were gone. After the breach of security that Elena pulled, Taylor wasn't so sure he was in good graces with the megalomaniac.
"So how long have you been working for Christian?" She asked between small bites of her blueberry muffin.
Taylor and Ana sat in a coffee shop, the pungent aroma of coffee beans and the hushed chatter of the customers wafting around them. She felt alive again, free to be among her own people instead of locked away inside his ivory tower. It was almost like a fairytale - the comely, innocent girl being trapped inside the dragon's lair and the handsome prince coming to save her - only this time, Ana saved herself and was nowhere near comely, and couldn't actually see Christian as a dragon. He breathed fire, but he had started to grow on her; she somewhat liked him.
He can be a lizard instead.
"About… Five years," he stated, having to actually think about it for a second. He shifted in his seat and rearranged his tie. How long had they been there? Surely, Mr. Grey had awoke by now.
The thought made his stomach drop.
"You've dealt with that for five years? I don't know how you survived," Ana mumbled dryly.
Taylor smiled, the corners of his lips only slightly turning upwards, but the mirth reached his eyes. Taylor knew that Mr. Grey was difficult, but once you got to know him, he became tolerable.. Likeable.
"He's not all bad," he started, "he is actually quite generous. He pays for my daughter's schooling, he gives me ample time off and healthcare benefits."
Ana nodded, not doubting Taylor's words for a second. She knew Mr. Grey had no problem spending money, but somehow she felt he had issues connecting with others. Did he provide for Taylor and his child because he liked him, or did he do it just to ensure that Taylor wouldn't quit?
"He's… Growing on me," she admitted, then immediately blushed red. She wasn't quite sure why she had just blurted that out.
Taylor didn't respond, only slightly raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. He gave Ana a peculiar look, however, like he knew something she didn't.
"It is not my place to say this… But Mr. Grey normally doesn't take much interest in most people, so.. Just be patient with him."
Ana looked down at her half-eaten muffin, deliberating over what Taylor had said. She believed that Christian didn't take interest in anyone, but for some reason he had asked for her to be his private nurse. Since the moment she took the job, she wondered what it was about her that made him want her and solely her. Could it be…?
She halted her thoughts before it even went in that direction. You're a good nurse - end of story.
"We better get going," she muttered, pushing out her chair and wrapping the muffin in a napkin.
Taylor stood eagerly, guiding Ana towards the exit. He thought they'd never leave.
Christian wasn't yelling - which meant that he was furious. He twirled a pen around his finger, his eyes intense and soul-boring. He looked at Ana and Taylor as they stood at the threshold, his eyes darkening and his jaw tightening. He gave them a tightlipped smile devoid of any humor or niceties.
"Well, I thought I'd be alone up here forever," his voice was smooth like honey, but there was a slight edge to his tone. It was mocking, almost frightening.
"I-" Ana started, but was immediately cut off.
"Taylor, a word please?" he asked, twirling the pen once again.
Ana bit her lip, dread filling her body. She had been the one to disobey orders, but now Taylor was going to be punished. She felt guilty - terribly guilty - but at the same time she felt little bursts of anger penetrate her body. Who was Christian to tell her what she can and cannot do? She was a grown woman with free will, but he wanted to force her to do what he wanted?
"No," she demanded, stepping in front of Taylor, blocking his entrance into the room. "I'd like a few words with you first."
Christian rolled his eyes and Taylor stepped forward, but Ana placed her arm in front of him, halting his movement.
Nurses can be strong when they need to be.
"I was going stir crazy in here. I couldn't breathe, couldn't eat or drink. I was dizzy, lightheaded - I thought the walls were closing in at one point," she exclaimed, "I needed fresh air or I surely would've passed out. I can't assist you, Mr. Grey, if I am not in the best of health myself. This is no one's fault - especially not Taylor's," she finished, feeling satisfied with herself.
Taylor silently groaned, wishing Ana hadn't said anything. He knew things were going to get infinitely worse.
Christian cocked an eyebrow, "I see you two have become acquainted," he spat, his mouth pressing into a hard line. "I appreciate your valor, Ms. Steele, but I'd like a word with my employee."
Ana frowned, feeling defeated. She stepped out of the way and turned around to exit, her tail tucked between her legs. Sometimes Christian made her feel like a child - and she hated that. When she stood up to him, she lost. When she didn't stand up to him, she was a coward. It was always a lose-lose situation.
"Asshole," she mumbled as she walked away.
"Thanks for trying," Taylor whispered before shutting the door.
Despite her anger and embarrassment, a small smile crossed her face. Taylor was a good man, she wasn't sure how he had gotten stuck with the lizard. But after all, she was a good girl too… And she wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.
"You didn't fire him, did you?" Ana asked hesitantly, checking Christian's blood pressure.
He frowned. "Taylor is my most trusted bodyguard and the head of my security team. Why would I fire him?"
Ana shrugged her shoulders, listening intently to his heartbeat. "I guess from his performance over the last couple of days… You don't strike me as a forgiving person."
"I'm not," he declared, "but that doesn't mean I will forego my loyalty towards him. He is a very competent team member and although I am not happy with his performance… I understand his actions." Christian reached his hand over to scratch his wounds, which Ana promptly swatted away. "It fucking itches," he muttered.
"Good, that means it's healing." She took off the blood pressure cuff and wrapped her stethoscope around her shoulders. "What do you mean by, 'I understand his actions'?"
Christian looked towards her, their eyes locking. Ana looked down, her cheeks flushing pink. Christian's eyes were so intense… They made her feel naked.
"Elena is demanding, domineering. When she wants something, she gets it; and she wanted to see me, so there's that. You, on the other hand," he paused, his eyes roaming over every inch of her: her hair, her eyes, her lips, "are special… You get people to contemplate things they never would've."
Ana bit her lip, unsure how to take Christian's comments. She was special to him…. And she wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He was a peculiar man - and that frightened her. Something about him screamed danger.
Christian reached up to grab Ana's chin, pulling slightly to release her bottom lip from the clutches of her teeth.
"Don't do that," he breathed, his eyes fiery with passion.
"Why?" she asked, her breathing shallow and her heart speeding up.
"Because it makes me want to do things… Things you can't even imagine." He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair.
Control, Grey… Control.
The brunette in front of him made him feel unhinged, crazy sometimes, even. He leaned back, closing his eyes tight. He tried to erase the images of her tied up and vulnerable out of his mind, but they only burned brighter. God, he'd do anything - anything - to have a piece of her; but he knew he never would. Not a girl like Ana - she was too good - which is why her next words surprised him.
She leaned in closer, biting her lip. "Why is that such a bad thing?"
He grabbed her, pulling her close enough to where their faces were only inches apart. His breathing became ragged, his voice pained. "You're innocent… Sweet. I'm the exact opposite; dangerous, even. You don't want to know the things I'd like to do, much less participate."
She didn't back down. She gazed at him, trying to read his mind - to understand his thoughts and feelings. There was this powerful, confident man that stood before her, but she had seen him at his most vulnerable point. He was hiding. There was a scared boy behind his facade… And even further there lied something dark, sinister.
"I'm special, you said… What is it about me?" She pleaded, desperate to know why she made him feel this way and even more desperate to know why he affected her.
He let her go, turning away. He laughed bitterly, "I don't even know myself."
Ana stayed in the shower longer than usual that night. She tried to scrub away all the feelings she had felt that day, the memories, the conversations. None of it made sense, which made her want to think about it more. Despite what she wanted, Christian was crawling his way inside of her head and heart. It was like he was an infectious disease - he played with your emotions and forced you to care about him, to take interest.
She wondered if he felt the same about her.
Obviously, she had to shut down whatever was happening immediately. He was her patient - that whole conversation they had back there bordered on illegal.
He's only a patient for a couple more weeks… Then he's free to do whatever.
Ana ignored her subconscious, much like how she was trying to ignore everything she felt and said. She wrapped a towel around her hair and body, desperately wanting to go to sleep and forget that the whole day ever happened. It was exhausting - more so than anything she had ever experienced. She exited the bathroom and walked towards her bedroom.
"Hey there, doc," a sultry voice exclaimed.
Ana turned around and was met with the ice cold eyes of Elena Lincoln. She got past security again?
"Nurse, actually," Ana quipped.
"It's all the same," she murmured, waving her hand absentmindedly, "I stopped by for another 'business meeting' and just wanted to say hello." She smiled, but it looked more like a sneer.
"Oh, well.. Hello. I'm quite tired, though, so I'm gonna head to bed," Ana said, turning away.
"Ms. Steele," Elena called, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Yes?" Ana turned back around.
"Christian has taken a certain… Liking to you," Elena informed, inching closer to Ana. Her movements were predatory, like a wolf. "And it amuses me. Christian is picky, so consider yourself lucky."
"Why are you telling me this?" Ana asked, her eyes narrowed. She didn't trust the blonde in front of her and Elena sure as hell didn't give her any reason to.
"Because you're cute, like a little puppy. Your innocence, purity -"
Ana blushed and looked down.
"-Oh yes, sweetheart, it's obvious. I can practically smell it on you," Elena wrinkled her nose, "but it won't last for long. Christian is a hard man to please. He has specific needs… Needs I don't think you can fulfill. And even if by some miracle you do, he gets bored quickly."
"Thanks for the… Information? But I don't think I need your advice - I'm not interested," Ana spat.
Elena smirked - and this time it was genuine. "I'm sorry… I just have such a motherly instinct. I have to look out for all my cubs," she called over her shoulder, sashaying down the hallway. Her form disappeared when she rounded the corner.
Ana slunk down against the wall, her head in her hands. What had she gotten into?
This chapter was very fun to write, I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm thinking of having two more chapters of Ana being Christian's nurse, then put in a time jump.
Yay or nay?
-Xoxo
Edit: Okay, I think I might have confused some of you with these last couple of chapters. Lots of reviewers seem upset about Elena, the time jump, and Christian not allowing Ana to leave the house; so, I've decided to clear everything up for you guys.
- Elena and Christian are NOT hooking up; they are looking for Christian's next submissive. That's all I'm going to say - I don't want to put any spoilers here.
- Elena is NOT sneaking past security. After her first impromptu visit, Christian has allowed her to return. Taylor wouldn't let a second breech of security happen, Ana only thinks that is the case because she doesn't know the history that Elena and Christian share.
- The time jump would not be major, it would only be a week after Ana stopped being Christian's nurse. None of you have to worry about that though, I've decided to hold off on the idea.
- Christian doesn't want Ana leaving the house because of the paparazzi and tabloid rumors. Everyone knows he was in an accident and is receiving private care, but he doesn't want Ana to be exposed to the public in that way; he'd prefer no one to find out she is his nurse so she'll avoid being in the magazines. I could've written that scene a little bit better - I apologize. It was quite confusing.
- One reviewer asked about my update schedule, but I currently don't have one. I write whenever I have time or when I come up with a good idea for a chapter. I'm trying to break out of that habit and find a day to update on regularly - we'll see. I'm thinking Friday?
- Another reviewer (on my newest story) asked about Not Yet Written, which is currently on hiatus. I most definitely have plans to continue it, but I don't like the way its turning out so far. I'm thinking of finishing Vital Signs and getting my other story up and running before going back to my oldest one.
I hope that cleared everything up. Once again, I thank you guys for being understanding and dedicated readers!
-Xoxo
