Chapter 7

"Chewie, I'm not flirting with him!" Rey said for what felt like the hundredth time. "And no, he's not flirting with me either. He's just riling me up to make me a more effective combat partner." Her thoughts went back to Finn's accusation that Ben had proposed marriage to her, and she realized she wasn't at all certain what Ben's intentions were with her.

He wanted to teach her. He wanted to rule the galaxy with her. He wanted to spar with her. He definitely wanted her at his side, but was it something more than friendship he sought? What would that even be like?

A large, furry paw waved in her face. "What? Yes, I was paying attention," she said on reflex, though she realized a moment later that might not have been true. "Wait, what? Chewie, that's really not necessary. Ben and I can handle sharing the bunk room without a chaperone-"

Chewie grumbled some more, and Rey froze before disgust filled her face. "I did NOT need that mental image, Chewie."

What is it? Ben said through the force. You're distressed.

Rey squirmed. The whole force talking thing in each other's heads would take some getting used to. Chewie just informed me that you were conceived on the Falcon, in the room where we'll be sleeping, no less. Rey thought back. He intends to sleep on the floor between us to make sure there are no unexpected "force babies".

Rey could almost feel the lift of Ben's eyebrows through the force. I see. He was silent for a moment. Is motherhood something you desire? His thoughts were husky, and Rey trembled, feeling more exposed than she had in her entire life. Chewie continued his lecture at her, but she was too flustered to process anything he said.

She opened the cockpit door despite Chewie's protests and half-stumbled out of there. Her whole body felt warm and loose, yet somehow electrified, and she wondered for a moment if she were drugged.

She started heading for the bunks, but on recalling that Ben was likely there, she headed for the cargo bay where the porgs had been stashed after the Resistance took control of the ship.

The strange birds were everywhere, but Rey cleared a spot and collapsed into a huddle, sobbing from the intensity of what she had felt when Ben asked her if she wanted children. It was a question she had never dreamed of considering before.

She knew now that she had been abandoned by her own parents, and her whole life before the last few weeks had been a routine of survival with no attachments beyond those of utility. And while these last few weeks were different, she spent so much time dodging death, several times at the end of Ben's blade, that the idea of a family of her own or even any kind of joyful future never crossed her mind. All she had ever hoped for were to survive until her parents found her, and now she didn't even have that.

What did she want? She wanted her friends to be happy and safe. She wanted to protect the ideas of the Resistance, yet she also wanted to protect the people who would suffer without the steadiness provided by the Order, and she wanted Ben to…

The cargo door opened, and there he was. "What's wrong?" Ben asked, closing the gap between them until he was crouching on the floor in front of her, disturbing several porgs in the process. His normally steady face was wrought with concern. She stared at him blankly. He held up a hand and Rey felt the start of a mind probe.

"Stop that," she said even as she blocked his probe. "It's rude."

Ben growled as he spoke, "What's wrong?!"

Rey stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Well I'm not going to tell you while you're glaring at me like that." She didn't dare tell him how disturbed his question had made her or the direction her own thoughts of him had been taking lately.

Rey felt Ben's anger flare and the mind probe renew with strength, but she blocked it again and slapped him in one move. "No. You don't get to decide when I tell you things, and you don't get to force it out of me when you don't get your way."

Ben snapped. "How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what's wrong!?" Several porgs chose that moment to roar at Rey alongside Ben in a clear imitation of him. Ben raised his arm to backhand them, but Rey grabbed his hand and pulled it between her own.

"They're harmless creatures, Ben. You don't need to take your anger out on them."

"Then what? What do I do?" he asked her, his face crumpling with the tenderness of her hands on his.

Rey felt a dizzying wave of something unfamiliar hit her as she stared into his eyes. She found herself pulling him to her as she carefully leaned her forehead on his chest. The force pulsed with the moment, and they both gasped, clutching each other tightly as a vision came to them. As it passed, Ben wrapped his arms around her tightly and whispered into her ear. "Did you see it too?"

"Us. Together," she said. Her cheeks burning red. They had been kissing in the vision, and her belly had been swollen with pregnancy. She wondered if it was his in the same moment that she knew it couldn't be anyone else's. "What did you see?"

"Us. Together," he echoed. After a moment, he nuzzled her ear and added, "As were our lips." Rey's strength fled her at the knowledge that he had seen the same vision. Ben lifted her face up and caressed it. "We will be powerful together," he said in a thoughtful tone.

Rey's senses returned to her and she pushed against his chest to create space between them. "It was just a kiss, Ben," she said, hoping he hadn't noticed the pregnancy in the vision and trying to play down what she felt, but her shaking voice betrayed her emotions.

"You will be by my side," he said with a new certainty.

"Perhaps, but I am not yours yet," Rey reminded him.

"You will be," Ben said and gazed at her. He brushed her bottom lip with his thumb and leaned in again, but she turned her head to block her lips, leaving him facing her ear once more. "Why fight it, Rey?" he whispered.

"Because I don't trust you yet, nor do you trust me. Half the time we've met we've tried to kill each other, and while we seem to be past that, we're still on opposite sides of a war, Ben! What would you do if I were on a ship you were ordered to destroy? Betray the Order?"

"Yes," he said with full confidence and without hesitation. Rey scoffed in skepticism. "You doubt me, but I've done it before. I did not shoot my mother when ordered to, though she has been far less kind to me than you have." He kissed her forehead gently, and Rey shuddered and felt her whole body heat up in response. "I want you, Rey."

"And you take what you want," Rey said, recalling one of their earliest conversations. She tried to find fighting words to stop him, but the lure of that vision and his own straightforward admission had left her heady with thoughts of his lips. "I won't let you force me," she said even as she leaned closer to him.

"I won't need to. I feel your desire. You want this too." Ben trailed a finger along the back of her neck, and she gasped at the sensation, her thoughts growing cloudy. "If you don't want me, you should stop before you lose yourself." He brushed noses with her, letting his lips hover a breath from her own. Rey let out a small hungry moan.

"I might be okay with losing myself," Rey admitted. She felt Ben's desire surge to match her own as she reached up to caress his jawline. Ben's eyes fluttered shut at her touch and then shot open again to meet her own with a fierce intensity.

Kiss me? Ben asked through the force. He was perfectly still now outside his deep breathing, and Rey realized he was waiting on her to take the first step to change things between them. It was her choice to make. He would not take that from her.

Rey's heart felt like it would burst, but she did not close the gap, nor did she try to push him away again.

They were still frozen like that when the door slammed open and Chewie roared at them. Rey all but fell out of Ben's lap trying to get away. Ben gazed quietly at Rey as he stood up carefully. She blushed, knowing how clumsy and confused she must seem.

Chewie grumbled at them, and Ben finally faced Chewie. "Thanks, Chewie. I knew there would be TIE fighters when we exited hyperspace. They'll leave us alone once I provide the proper codes," Ben said and jogged off after Chewie to the cockpit.

Rey collapsed back on the floor, sending porgs scurrying away. The news had cleared her head and reminded her that Ben was with the First Order, her enemy, no matter how much she might want him. "I almost kissed him! He's still the enemy, Rey. You can't go around kissing your enemy, even if the force suggests it. Finn was right. I've gone mad!"


Finding more things to edit as their tension heats up. I'm also definitely taking lots of liberties with the rules of the Star Wars universe, but hey, if the movie force can show that they're partners in the future the first time they seek to hold hands, I figure it can show them a bit more the first time they seek to hold each other. That said, it's harder to know if I'm keeping them in character the farther I stray from what's happened in the movie.

Also, is anyone else cursed/blessed with hearing Alan Rickman whenever they imagine Kylo Ren/Ben Solo's voice? I mean, I know the actor was Adam Driver, but there's so much overlap with the personality for Kylo Ren and Snape and they dress a lot alike and both use that seriously soothe, soft, quiet voice until they've lost their cool. Clearly I just need to binge The Force Awakens to get the voice right, but until then, my head's all messed up.

But you know this, you're reading my fanfiction. :)