Seven: The Suicide Sprawls
"The Suicide sprawls on the bloody floor of the bedroom, I witness the corpse with its dabbled hair, I note where the pistol has fallen" -Walt Whitman
On her sixteenth birthday, she'd been publicly dumped by Shay and had her heart torn out by Tommy. On her seventeenth birthday, she'd gotten locked in the Chrome Cat with Tommy. Not that that had been horrible, although the look on Spied's face when he found them was bad enough. There was absolutely nothing on the planet that could prepare her for the events of her eighteenth birthday. Before Tommy had left, she'd wanted to have a giant blow out, to get dressed up and feel like a princess. It was an unspoken understanding between them, something would happen once she turned eighteen. He'd no longer be 'that guy'. She might not be his twenty-one year old ideal, but she had come a long way from an awkward fifteen year old. Turning eighteen was supposed to be magical. It was supposed to allow her and Tommy to finally be together. But that wasn't going to happen now was it? Not now, not ever. Tommy made his choice when he walked out on her six months ago.
"Jude, are you done changing?" Sadie called into her dressing room. Jude looked down at the slinky black dress she wore. Portia and Sadie had spent hours picking it out, and Jude had to admit it was almost perfect. Almost. Tommy on her arm would have made it perfect.
Damnit, don't think of him!
Jude looked into the mirror and wiped the tell tale traces of white powder from her nose before pulling on a pair of full length black evening gloves. A second glance showed her that every strand of her neon pink hair was perfectly in place. She smirked as she remembered the look of horror Sadie and Portia had when she showed up to the studio that morning with bright pink hair. Even she had to admit that it was a little over the top, but then again, it was completely worth it to see that look of on Sadie and Portia. Sadly, Darius had taken it in stride, just as he took everything she threw at him. He must be on some killer anti-anxiety drugs, or something, she thought.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." She finally yelled back. The first single off her album, a catchy song named Not That Innocent, was playing over the loudspeakers. Kwest and Spied had written it for her, and she had to admit that it was the only song she liked off her album. She didn't feel like a complete fraud singing it, because in reality, it was true. She really wasn't that innocent anymore.
It's now or never, she thought to herself as she stumbled out of her dressing room and into Sadie.
"Damnit Jude, are you high?" Sadie hissed angrily at her. Jude said nothing, putting on what had become her 'trademark' sunglasses. "I can't believe you! You better not ruin this! Kwest and everyone have worked their asses off on your album and they deserve some recognition. You're supposed to be celebrating that you're turning eighteen and releasing your third album, remember?"
"Oh, I am celebrating. Just in my own way." Jude tried to walk away, but ended up stumbling into a wall.
"I'm getting Spied. He's your escort tonight, in case you've forgotten."
At least she'd be able to have some fun with Spied and the SME boys. They were always good for a laugh. And with the coke quickly making its way through her system, she was ready to go crazy for a little bit.
"There you are!" Sadie yelled as Spied came jogging up to the pair. "Jude decided to have her own private party. So, you're going to need to help her out for a while. I don't care what it takes, I want your arm around her waist at all times. Don't let anyone see her stumbling around. If you can't be there with her, give her to one of the other boys. Anything. Just don't leave her alone. At all. If you screw this up, I will kill you."
"Dude, chill. Jude Dude's secret is safe with me. I know the drill. Why do you think the Paparazzi think we're an item. If we're in public, I'm holding on to her tight." Spied wanted to make light of the situation, but couldn't bring himself to. When Jude was around, he found himself less and less interested in making jokes and having fun.
"Aww, Spied, and here I thought you just liked groping my ass!" Jude giggled.
"Oh great, she's going to be hyper isn't she." Sadie groaned.
"Fear not, Lady Sadie, hyper is a SME specialty. No one will notice a thing." With that, he carefully led a still giggling Jude over to the staircase to make her big entrance. Looking down at the deadly stilletos she was wearing, he had a feeling that the stairs weren't a good idea. She would never make it down alive. Then he spotted Wally.
"Hey, Wallster, come give me a hand with the birthday girl." When Wally came over, he quietly explained his plan. They would each grab a leg, so that Jude would end up sitting on their arms, it would appear that they were giving Jude the royal treatment by carrying her down the stairs.
The party went better than was to be expected. The SME boys covered up most of Jude's antics and Sadie ran damage control on everything else.
"Sadie, I'm exhausted. I'm sober. I've made nice with the reporters. Can I please go back to my dressing room? Without an escort?" Jude pleaded. It was nearly one in the morning – it wasn't even her birthday anymore. Part of her had been sure that Tommy would waltz through the door like he'd never left. When he didn't, all she wanted was to be alone.
"Yeah, sure. I'll be by in a bit and we'll head home." Sadie said distractedly. Jude knew that Sadie would be distracted by Kwest for a while.
Jude's jaw dropped when she entered her dressing room. Laying on the vanity was a huge bouquet of purple Tiger orchids, pink Asiatic lilies and gladiolas. Everyone else had sent generic roses. There was only one person who knew her well enough to send her that combination of flowers.
Tommy.
Her hand trembled as she reached for the card that was nestled between the stems. There was no writing on the outside of the envelope. She took a deep breath before tearing it open. It was his handwriting on a blank piece of card stock.
Tell me you want me, wherever you are. Tell me you breathe me till your last breath.
I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
Why now Tommy.
Jude couldn't bring herself to throw the card away, choosing instead to wedge it into the frame of her mirror. At least now she knew he was still thinking of her. The thought comforted her far more than she wanted it too.
"Hey blondie, you in here?" Jude was startled by Patsy's sudden entrance into her private world.
"Hey Pats, thanks for knocking." She replied sarcastically, hastily dropping Tommy's flowers back on the vanity.
"No problem. You wanna get out of here? There's a killer party down in the warehouse district. And I don't know about you, but I have had it up to here with corporate bullshit tonight."
"Fighting with the Jamester again?" Jude asked as she searched for her purse.
"I will not let my night be ruined by that corporate sellout. You in or what."
"Absolutely. We just have to get out of here without Sadie catching me."
"No problem. SME is playing monkey in the middle with something expensive and breakable. She'll be tied up for a while. Let's get the hell out of here. Oh, and can you drive, Jamie took my damn keys." Patsy said.
"Let me grab my coat and we'll split." Jude was eager to forget the night.
"Sades, relax, it's not like Jude's never pulled a disappearing act before. Hell, this isn't even the first time this week. Plus, she's with Patsy. She'll be fine. I'll take the SME boys out first thing in the morning to find her." Kwest tried desperately to placate his girlfriend.
"I know, I just have a bad feeling about this. I mean, come on. It's Jude's birthday. Things never go right on her birthday." Sadie sat down next to Kwest, who put his arm around her waist.
"It'll be fine, now how about you and me relax - " He was cut off by the ringing of Sadie's phone.
"Jude, is that you?" Sadie asked frantically when she answered the call.
"Hello, I'm calling from the Crenshaw Heights Memorial Hospital. To whom am I speaking?"
"This is Sadie Harrison."
"I'm afraid to be the barer of bad news ma'am, but a Jude Harrison was seriously injured in a car accident tonight. She's undergone emergency surgery, I recommend you get here as fast as possible." The call disconnected and all the color drained from Sadie's face.
"What, who was it?" Kwest asked.
"Crenshaw Heights Hospital. They... they have Jude." Before she even finished the sentence Kwest had grabbed his keys and their coats.
"I'll drive, lets go."
Still in their party wear, Sadie and Kwest ran into Admitting at Crenshaw Heights.
"Hi, I'm looking for Jude Harrison."
"Are you family?" The elderly receptionist asked without glancing up from her computer screen.
"Yes, yes, I'm her sister."
"Sixth floor, ask at the nurses station."
"Come on Kwest!" Sadie grabbed her boyfriends hand and pulled him towards the elevator.
"Chill Sadie, everything is going to be ok. I promise." Kwest tried his best to comfort her. He knew she was at her wits end with Jude. Both their parents were AWOL, Jude had fallen in with a bad crowd and hadn't been to school in months, and Sadie felt completely responsible. The elevator couldn't reach the sixth floor fast enough for Kwest.
"I'm looking for Jude Harrison." Sadie blurted out as soon as they reached the nurses station.
"Oh." The nurse on duty said quietly. "I'll page her doctor for you. Have a seat and the doctor will be right with you."
Kwest escorted Sadie to a cluster of chairs and helped her sit down. "I'm gonna go call people alright, don't worry. I'll be back in just a few minutes." He kissed her forehead gently and left to call Darius, Jamie, and SME – all the people who were important to Jude. All the people who needed to be there for her right now. Or almost all of them. For what had to be the millionth time he found himself cursing Tommy for disappearing. He knew rationally that Tommy had to have a damn good reason for leaving. The man had all but admitted he loved her to him just a few hours of disappearing.
It was the night before Jude's record release party and she was playing a small preview concert for fans.
"Hey T, got plans tonight? I was thinking about hitting up a hot new club after we finished tonight." Kwest asked as he checked the connections on a sound board.
"Can't. Already got plans." Tommy replied as he watched Jude mess around with SME.
"Plans. Care to elaborate?" Kwest followed Tommy's gaze to Jude. "No way, are you guys finally..."
"Yeah.
I asked her to have dinner with me at Chulo's when we're done here."
He replied, not breaking his close observation of Jude. She and Kyle
were wrestling over a drumstick when one of Kyle's hands drifted
below Jude's waist. "KYLE! HANDS!" Kwest could see the jealousy
rising in his face, just like when Shay's hands had gone where Tommy felt they shouldn't during their video shoot. Tommy was just as protective - no, possesive, of her even then. Intimidated by the tone of Tommy's voice, Kyle had abruptly let go of Jude and made a hasty exit.
"Man, you've got it so bad for that girl." Kwest laughed at him. Tommy still hadn't looked at him, he was too busy watching Jude who was now tuning her guitar.
"So what if I do." He muttered.
"Tommy, you know you can't just have some fling with her. When you get sick of her in a few months, you can't just dump her and move on with your life. It would kill the girl." Kwest said quietly. Tommy finally turned to look at him.
"And what if she's the one." With that he stalked off to go 'help' Jude tune her guitar, leaving Kwest in open mouthed disbelief. He watched as Tommy took a seat closer than necessary to her and whispered something in her ear that made both of them smile. Tommy pressed a tender kiss to her temple before taking the guitar from her. Jude began to sing as Tommy played the guitar for her. Kwest recognized the song as White Lines, the song they had recorded mysteriously one night without him. The look of happiness on Tommy's face was undeniable. In ten years, Kwest had never seen his best friend look as happy as he did when he was with Jude Harrison.
Kwest was brought back to the present by Sadie screaming. He raced back to where she sat and heard the doctor say, "I'm so sorry. We truly did all that we could."
My apologies for the delay in this. No matter what I tried, I couldn't make this chapter work right. This must be my fifth or sixth version - which is a lot for me. Luckily, I also have alot of the next two chapters written, so hopefully I'll be updating them ASAP.
And as always, standard disclaimer applies.
