Here's chapter 7. It's idolshipping, or ZanexAtticus. Japanese names ARE used here. Enjoy. Yes, this is a GX pairing. There probably will be more GX pairings.


It all started when our predictably heroic protagonist, Ryo, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling really pleased, Ryo stroked a ripened avocado, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). As if it really mattered he realized that his beloved iPad was missing! Immediately he called his vicariously jealous friend, Fubuki. Ryo had known Fubuki for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Fubuki was unique. He was attractive though sometimes a little... insensitive. Ryo called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Fubuki picked up to a very angry Ryo. Fubuki calmly assured him that most disease-carrying chipmunks turn red before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually surreptitiously yawn after mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Ryo. Why was Fubuki trying to distract Ryo? Because he had snuck out from Ryo's with the iPad only eight days prior. It was a flamboyant little iPad... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Ryo got back to the subject at hand: his iPad. Fubuki belched. Relunctantly, Fubuki invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iPad. Ryo grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Fubuki realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iPad and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if Ryo took the magic flying carpet, he had take at least five minutes before Ryo would get there. But if he took the Cyber End Dragon? Then Fubuki would be abundantly screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Fubuki was interrupted by three oafish tigers that were lured by his iPad. Fubuki yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he carefully reached for his live hand grenade and thoughtfully attacked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Cyber End Dragon rolling up. It was Ryo.

-o0o-

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Egg Roll King to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a inept leap, Ryo was out of the Cyber End Dragon and went wildly jaunting toward Fubuki 's front door. Meanwhile inside, Fubuki was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the iPad into a box of rotten bananas and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Fubuki was worried but at least the iPad was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Fubuki indiscriminately purred. With a mighty push, Ryo opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some annoying zealous...zealot in a curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), he lied. 'It's fine,' Fubuki assured him. Ryo took a seat conveniently far from where Fubuki had hidden the iPad. Fubuki yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Ryo was distracted. As if it really mattered Fubuki noticed a oafish look on Ryo's face. Ryo slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Fubuki felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when Ryo asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the iPad right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Ryo's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's carrots from when she used to have pet albino cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Ryo nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Fubuki could react, Ryo recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The iPad was plainly in view.

Ryo stared at Fubuki for what what must've been ten seconds. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, Fubuki groped exotically in Ryo's direction, clearly desperate. Ryo grabbed the iPad and bolted for the door. It was locked. Fubuki let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Ryo,' he rebuked. Fubuki always had been a little abrasive, so Ryo knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Fubuki did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he gripped his iPad tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Fubuki looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Ryo. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Ryo. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Fubuki walked over to the window and looked down. Ryo was gone.

-o0o-

Just yonder, Ryo was struggling to make his way through the imaginery desert behind Fubuki 's place. Ryo had severely hurt his armpit during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral tigers suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iPad. One by one they latched on to Ryo. Already weakened from his injury, Ryo yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of tigers running off with his iPad.

But then God came down with His attractive smile and restored Ryo's iPad. Feeling exasperated, God smote the tigers for their injustice. Then He got in His tricked out go kart and jettisoned away with the fortitude of 20 venomous koalas running from a teensy pack of disease-carrying chipmunks. Ryo ran with joy when he saw this. His iPad was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eight minutes his favorite TV show, Keeping up with the Kardashians, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When long-haired sea monkeys meet hand grenade'). Ryo was ecstatic. And so, everyone except Fubuki and a few bloody glove-toting albino cats lived blissfully happy, forever after.