i don't own twilight... i don't own the characters... i don't own really anything at all

it took me a little while to figure out how exactly i wanted this chapter to go... but i finally did.. and i'm happy with it.. hope you like it too :)


Chapter 6: Where Do We Go From Here?

BPOV

I was so nervous I shook the whole hour long drive to Jake's shop.

Jake started up a custom car shop just after we met and it quickly became well known through out the area.

Having to talk to him at the shop, of all places, made me feel even worse. He told me after he proposed, that the reason why he waited 4 years to ask was because he wanted to get the shop off the ground so he could support me and any family we may have. He said he wanted to feel worthy of me.

How could I do this to him?

When I finally pulled up to the shop, I couldn't move.

I tried to think of ways I could tell him, but they never sounded right. Then again, something like this isn't supposed to sound right. It's not supposed to be said at all.

Finally getting some feeling back into my legs, I took off my ring and put it in my pocket. He wasn't going to find out like Alice did. He didn't deserve that.

When I walked into the shop I was greeted by Jake's friend and co-owner of the shop, Sam.

"Hey Bella, what brings you in?"

"Hey Sam, I'm here to see Jake, is he in his office?"

"Sure is. He'll be happy to see you." He said leaning in. "He hasn't shut up about tomorrow all week. I've had a few guys threaten to quit," he whispered with a laugh.

Ouch.

I gave a small smile. "Thanks Sam."

"No problem Bella," he said, patting me on the shoulder as I walked away.

The closer I got to the door, the harder my heart started to pound.

I have to tell him. I have to tell him. I chanted in my head. He has to know.

When I finally made it to his office door, I lightly knocked and poked my head in.

"Can I come in?" I asked quietly.

He looked up from the papers on his desk as a huge, heart breaking smile spread across his face.

"Bells! You know you don't have to ask," he said, getting up from his desk. "Come in, come in."

I slowly slipped through the door as he came around the desk and swept me up into a bone crushing hug.

"Just one more day," he whispered, kissing my hair. "Just one more day."

Tell him! My head screamed. Tell him now before it's…

"Come sit down," he said, leading me over to the chairs in front of his desk.

Too late.

"So," he said while sitting down on top of his desk. "What brings you in?"

"Um," I squeaked. "I… uh…"

Now, say it now!

I stuttered while my mouth went dry, my stomach knotted up and my heart threatened to pound out of my chest.

"I-I… um… I-I was…w-wondering how your day has been."

That was pathetic, even for you.

He groaned and rubbed his hand over his face.

Oh no.

"It's been… a day," he laughed. "I've had a few people complain about how long their car is taking. I had a few manufactures call to say they've discontinued parts that I have five cars waiting for. Plus I got a couple recalls first thing this morning."

He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on my lips.

"But my day did just get a lot better."

After that I could no longer hold back the tears and I started to cry uncontrollably.

"Bells?" Jake said, tilting my head so we looked into each other's eyes. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Oh Jake," I cried. "I messed up, I messed up really bad."

He placed his hands on either side of my face.

"Bella, talk to me. What happened?"

"I don't… I don't know where to start."

"Start from the beginning," he said, wiping the tears off my face. "Please?"

I took a deep breath. He has to know.

"Alice, Rose and I went out last night and…" my voice cracked.

Deep breath Bella, you can do this.

"Go on," he encouraged.

"There was… this guy. He came over… and started talking to us."

I heard Jake take a sharp breath.

He's gonna hate me. You have to do this. You have to tell him.

I took another deep breath and continued.

"We were all drinking… so much… too much." I broke down again. "I'm sorry. It was… a misunderstanding… a mistake, a huge mistake."

"Bella," he said, his voice cracking. "What are you saying?"

"That guy… I-I married him… I married that guy. I swear I didn't mean to," I sobbed.

Pain and sadness flashed across his face, across my Jake's face, my poor Jake. I've hurt him so badly. He looked so broken and it was all my fault.

He let go of my face and leaned back on his desk. My heart broke even more at the loss of contact.

You deserve this.

"You," he cleared his throat. "You…m-married him?"

I gave a weak nod.

"I-I know I don't deserve it… but… please believe me when I say… I didn't mean to… and that I really do love you."

He sighed. "And… what are you going to do… a-about… this?"

"I'm going to call Carlisle, get a divorce started, and get this over with as soon as possible."

"And He's okay with this?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Completely."

He sighed again and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Okay."

"Wh-what?" I gasped.

"Okay," he repeated. "I believe you."

I sat there stunned. Is he… no… he can't be.

"I-I don't understand."

"Bella," he said, kneeling in front of me. "I believe you when you say it was a mistake. I believe you when you say you're sorry and I believe you when you say you love me, you've never been a good liar," he gave a short laugh. "I still love you and I hope you believe that."

"But," I said, shaking my head. "You should hate me."

"Bells," he said, taking my hands. "Tell me, if the roles were reversed, if I was the one to marry someone else by mistake, a drunken mistake, and I came to you, telling you how sorry I was and how much I still love you, would you understand? Would you forgive me? Would you still want to marry me?"

"Of course, in a heartbeat."

"Then why is it so hard to believe that I would do the same for you?" He laughed. "I mean it, I love you… and… if you'll still have me… I still want to marry you."

"I do, I really do."

He placed a light kiss on each of my knuckles. "Then we will. When this is over, we will."

He placed another kiss on my forehead and looked into my eyes. "We're gonna get through this Bells. I promise you, we will."

"Oh Jake," I cried, throwing my arms around him and hugging him with all of my strength. "I don't deserve you, I really don't deserve you."

"Bella," he said, pulling away. "I don't wanna hear you say that anymore. You're an amazing, beautiful woman that I'm so lucky and so happy to have. You made a mistake, so what, people make mistakes. But it's how we handle them that define what type of people we are, and you're handling this so well. You're even more amazing than I thought and that's saying something. I love you and nothing will change that."

I was hit with another round of tears. I wanted so badly to tell him how much I love him back, but I couldn't find my voice. Instead, I lightly touched his face, running my hand along his cheek, hoping he would understand what I couldn't say. By the look on his face, he did.

"I know," he said with a smile.

I threw my arms around him again and let loose all the built up tears.

He still loves me. By some strange miracle, he still loves me and still wants to marry me.

"Now," he said, pulling away again and placing his hands back on my face. "Go home, call Carlisle and get that divorce started. The sooner that's over, the sooner we can start our lives together. I'll start calling everyone, tell them about tomorrow and then after work I'll stop by your place and we'll watch movies and pig out on pizza," he laughed. "Sound good?"

Everyone. I forgot about having to tell them. What will they say?

"Jake no, it's my fault. I'm the one that should tell everyone."

He sighed. "No, the only thing I want you to worry about is calling Carlisle. We don't have to tell everyone everything;we don't have to tell anyone everything. I'll just tell them that we're rescheduling the wedding and that's it. That's all they need to know."

"Thank you Jake, thank you so much. I really don't deserve you."

He rolled his eyes. "Bella," He sighed, shaking his head. "I thought I told you not to say that," He laughed.

He lightly pulled me into a kiss, both of us putting all of our feelings in it, only breaking to breathe.

"I love you, Bella Swan. And one day, you'll be my wife."

"I love you too, and I can't wait."

We both stood up and Jake held my hand as he walked me out to the car.

"So," he started after helping me in. "What's his name?"

"Uh…"

Is he really asking me this?

"E-Edward, Edward Masen."

"Oh," he sighed, looking disappointed. "He's not a client."

I laughed. "Would you have done something to his car if he was?"

He gave me a sheepish grin. "I might have thought about it."

"Jake," I said, pointing my finger at him. "Behave."

"Oh alright," he said with his best puppy dog face.

"So I'll see you later?" He asked after a minute of us laughing.

"Definitely."

"Good," he said leaning in and kissing my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I waved goodbye and pulled out of the parking lot, feeling better than I had all day.

He forgave me. He still loves me.


the next chapter shouldn't take too long... i already have a good chunk of it written... plus Edward will be back.. and i seem to write faster when he's in the chapter... go figure :D