Kaidan walked to the medbay to see how Shepard was fairing. His relief of her rescue was slightly overshadowed by the worry of what they had done to her. When they found her strapped to a bed in a room full of moaning and pained humans, his heart skipped a beat. He didn't know if he should have been grateful she was writhing in pain like the others, or worried that she didn't have the strength to do much writhing. Her face was flushed and her body shook with the effort of moving. Fortunately, by the time they got her to Dr. Chakwas she could move a little easier, though she still looked tired. He had waited for the next day cycle before paying her a visit, feeling odd to be on this end of the hospital visits.
Every day that Shepard visited him at Huerta Memorial lifted his spirits. It felt wonderful just knowing that she cared enough to visit him, and each time she came back a small bit of hope that she still loved him grew. Maybe the rumors weren't true; maybe she and Garrus never had a relationship. The last time she came, he knew he was going to be released soon and he might not get another opportunity to ask.
He forced himself to say the words, to say what had been eating at him for weeks. And all that hope was ripped away in an instant –
"Good morning Major Alenko." Dr. Chakwas didn't even turn from her lab table at the sound of the doors sliding open.
Kaidan glanced around the medbay, realizing that it was just him and the doctor. "Good morning Dr. Chakwas. How are you this morning?" His polite greeting was met with a shrewd look over by the doctor.
She raised an eyebrow and said, "Spare me the small talk; she's not here as you can see. She insisted she was fine and returned to her cabin."
"What? And you let her? We have no idea what they did to her!" His voice rose at the left sentence and he coughed politely in embarrassment. He was worried, but there was no reason to take it out on Karen – who seemed to agree. She crossed her arms and tilted her head down slightly to give Kaidan a baleful stare. Kaidan shifted uncomfortable and mumbled, "Sorry, doctor. I'm sure she was very persistent."
Chakwas turned back to her datapad and said, "Believe me, she was."
Kaidan got the hint that she was done talking and backed out of the medbay. After breakfast Kaidan went to the meeting that Shepard had called. When he came in, Shepard and Garrus pulled apart from a whispered conversation. "Commander. Garrus." He greeted each one with a quick nod before staring hard out the large window, feeling as if he walked into something private. The commander and Garrus never acted unprofessionally around the ship, but he felt embarrassed just seeing them so close, heads leaned together in conversation.
When he took his seat he studied Shepard face out of the corner of his eye. She still had red cheeks, but otherwise she looked normal. However, he knew that there had to be some lingering effects from the chemicals she was treated with. "How are you feeling, Commander?" he asked, looking her in eye, searching for signs of anything. Lies. Sickness. Anything.
Garrus looked out the window, but Kaidan noticed his three-fingered hand tighten into a fist for a moment. Shepard pursed her lips before replying curtly, "I'm better, Alenko. There's plenty of other things to worry about." She didn't give anything away, no tremor in her voice or exasperated sigh.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Shepard stood at the end of the table once EDI, James and Liara arrived after Kaidan. "Ok, listen up." All eyes on her. "I've already got Joker setting a course for a little system called Dholen in the Far Rim. If all goes smoothly we can enlist the quarians for this war, but be prepared for any conflict. Specialists Traynor was able to pick up some radio chatter about a geth dreadnought. . ."
She talked smoothly to her squad, positive that she showed no weakness though her knees felt shaky and her arms felt heavy. The report she read on her datapad this morning certainly gave her cause for concern, as well as explained the vivid dream she had. She pointlessly asked EDI several times if she decrypted the correct the right files or if she had made any mistakes.
According the files the Reapers had indoctrinated salarians researching and bio-engineering organics for after the war. Shepard skipped around the files until she found information on what they were doing with humans. She had sat at her desk, leaned way over the datapad, trying to understand the medical linguistics. Finally she slammed her fist on the table and said, "EDI! Can you summarize these damn files?"
"Certaintly Shepard," EDI said over the com. "The Reapers currently have human husks, but they will need something longer lasting after the war; similar to the Protheans or Keepers. Since humans have relatively short lifespans one of their solutions is to engineer a self-propagating reaper controlled human." The files on the datapad pad skimmed around as EDI talked, backing up the explanation with the salarians' research. Not that it did Shepard much good; she'd just have to take EDI's word for it. EDI continued on, "Of particular interest to you, human women were being experimented on by having their hormones altered so that they were constantly in estrus and able to pass on these traits to future offspring. . ."
"Ok, everyone dismissed." Everyone left except Garrus. He waited until they were the only two left in the briefing room. She had told him what EDI had found in the files before the meeting started. Better to get it out of the way in case anything should happen.
"Shepard," he said with a rough voice. He placed a hand on her arm as she rose to leave, but when her eyes turned to him he seemed to lose what he was going to say. "I'll – uh. . . I'll be in the main battery."
How lost he looked sitting there, unable to offer comfort. Shepard nodded, "I'll be making rounds and I need to talk to Chakwas; I'll visit you after." Shepard and Garrus walked to the elevator, parting as Garrus descended down. Shepard walked up the platform to the galaxy map and planned a course for Dholen.
Afterwards, Shepard met with Chakwas in the medbay. She made sure the blinds were shut and the door was locked tight. She stood by one of the examination tables and crossed her arms. "You've read the files?" She asked.
Chakwas, in her usual seat, swiveled around the meet Shepard's eyes. She nodded and said, "Yes, and I'm worried about your health if your hormones continue to be out of balance."
Shepard scoffed and said, "Out of balance? It doesn't seem like such a big deal. All that stuff means, what? That I get horny and can get pregnant? Big deal, I have a turian boyfriend so that's not much of a problem as long as I can keep it together in combat. Besides, it should just leave my system soon anyway."
Chakwas' right eyebrow arched sharply, the commander had no shame. She cleared her throat and answered, "This treatment appears to act like a virus or infection, so I need to find or make something that can counteract its affects. On top of that, we don't know if there will be any psychological effects on you. How are you so far?"
She rubbed the back of her neck and said, "I guess there was some, uh, 'psychological' symptoms." Dreams counted, right? The one last night definitely felt like it should count.
Chakwas arched and eyebrow and said, "I see. As for your hormonal balance, an excess of estrogen is building up inside you. I recommend engaging in intercourse to temporarily release your buildup of hormones. " That was certainly the best prescription she'd ever be given by a doctor.
After her meeting with Chakwas – promising to keep the doctor up to date – she made her rounds with the crew. She wasn't ready to see Garrus yet, he would ask more questions when she had given him all she knew. She started with the lower decks before working her way back up to the crew quarters deck. She stepped out of the elevator and stared down the hall and the closed door that led to Kaidan's cabin. Her heart pounded against her chest; her body flared up in unexpected heat. Why him? She hadn't felt like this when she spoke to James. Was it because of the dream, or their past?
She closed her eyes and took a breath, she could fight this. If she visited everyone else it wouldn't be fair to skip Alenko, would it? She marched to his door, blocking out memories of their time before Ilos. She stepped into his cabin and looked around. "Damn it." She muttered, realizing he wasn't there. Her shoulder dropped, releasing the tension she hadn't known she was keeping. She put her right hand on her hip and stared out of the window, the small lights of stars casting a stark contrast against the vast blackness of space.
Someone cleared their throat behind her and said, "Commander?"
Shepard jumped and spun around. Kaidan stood at the open doorway and added awkwardly, "I was in the mess, and I saw you coming here. Did you need me for something, Commander?" So professional and clean
She shrugged casually and replied, "Just checking in, seeing how my crew is."
Kaidan chuckled and stepped closer to her. The grey at his temples gave him a distinctive and admittedly handsome appearance, he wore age well. "I should be asking how you are. I know you said you were fine, but you only just got released and now you're planning a mission. Shouldn't you get some more rest?" She noticed his hand move up, but – as if thinking better of it – it dropped back into place at his side.
Shepard stepped to the side to angle herself closer to the doorway. So far the heat between her legs was just a dull ache. If this was the worst of it she would be fine. She raised her eyebrows and said, "I told you not to worry about that. I wouldn't put the squad through any unnecessary risks." He opened his mouth to say something else, but Shepard held up a hand and said, "And before you ask, what those mad scientists did to me is confidential and Dr. Chakwas is the only one who needs to know."
Kaidan closed his mouth and lowered his eyes, stung. "Yes, Commander, I understand, I won't ask you again." She felt like her heart was given a little squeeze. He was still her friend; she didn't intend to hurt his feelings. It was too late though, she meant what she said even if it sounded harsh.
"Don't worry, Kaidan." She said in a softer voice and slipped out of the door before he could say anything else.
Shepard walked swiftly to the main battery and locked the doors behind her. "Got a minute?" she asked Garrus, who was hard at work as always at the console.
He waved his hand back and replied, "Can it wait? I'm in the middle – oh!" He spun around after registering whose voice he heard. "Of course, how are you feeling?"
Shepard rolled her eyes; she'd been getting that question a lot lately. "I'm fine. I'm not made of glass, you know."
They sat down on a crate by the door. Garrus chuckled and said, "You're right, I'm sorry. You're probably tired of getting asked that by now." He brushed her cheek gently and said, "I'm just worried. What did Chakwas tell you?"
Shepard grinned up at him and said in a joking voice, "That I have too many hormones in this girlish figure, and she prescribed me a healthy dosage of sex until this is sorted all out." Her smile changed from a joking one to a coy one as she moved Garrus's hand between her legs, pressing it against the hot fabric.
Garrus frowned and pulled his hand back. "I'm serious, Shepard."
"So am I, Vakarian." She explained Chakwas recommendations, but Garrus still seemed apprehensive.
"I don't know, Shepard." He said awkwardly. "It doesn't feel right, doing that when you're not well."
Shepard caressed his mandibles and said, "We have a few hours before we reach the Dholen system, I don't want to be distracted for the mission." She reached into his collar to start unbuckling his armor.
