Boredom and Cellphones: Odd Obsessions

One Year and Four Months Later

Lan shifted, now sprawled across the couch in the early afternoon sun. No one in the small library shot her a second glance considering it was Lan's usual hangout, Auntie having made decent contributions to it. She had needed some way to get her niece out of the house for a few hours a day. Lan lazily played with her phone, browsing the internet for something to do with herself.

It had been a long year.

Almost immediately after the Hunter Exam, she began training on that nightmarish boat of Morel's. As grateful as she was to the man for accepting her as a student, he could be very unreasonable. Swimming became a forbidden topic. Lan found it a miracle the stink of seawater didn't become her permanent scent after all the swimming Morel put her through. His punishment for slacking often involved swimming a couple dozen kilometers behind the boat, or, worse, dragging the entire boat if he was in a particularly poor mood. Like when Hisoka had decided to call her incessantly until she picked up, but she had been in the middle of sparring with Knuckle on the deck, her phone in the cabin with the sound on. Whatever Hisoka had said to Morel when he had answered, it had resulted in hours of misery. As well as a bit of concern, Morel asking if she needed help getting away from the lunatic- he seemed worried when she said not yet. Underneath the calm, aloof facade, Morel was as soft-hearted as Knuckle.

After four months of grueling training with Morel, Knuckle, and Shoot, she left to train on her own. She had spent two full months refining her techniques. During the week it took to reform Nemmi, she practiced Ren, holding it as long as she could before she fell unconscious.

Not much could be done with Nemmi. She already had a wild number of restrictions and conditions with him- grieving ten-year-olds without proper guidance shouldn't be allowed to choose Nen abilities.

An irritated squawk and tug at her aura made her eyes drift from her phone. Perched on the back of the couch, feathers ruffled, eyes narrowed, was Nemmi. Consisting solely of pale blue aura, the phantom crow appeared to glow in the sunlight.

"Come here," she whispered softly, holding her arm out. He obediently stepped on despite the scowl. "You're plenty useful the way you are, even if you are a bit ridiculous." She moved Nemmi to her shoulder, activating Ten, connecting her aura back with him. The aura that made him faded with time, her proficiency in emitter techniques limited. Having him near when not actively using him made his near constant upkeep easier.

While training, she made no changes to Nemmi, nor to her aura's consistency. Living metal suited her well enough. Refining Arri had been her main focus.

Learning how to use Ko, Ken, and Ryu helped her see gapping holes in how she utilized Arri. It also made her realize just how terrible her control over her aura output was. All or nothing was an unbelievably bad strategy for a transmuter. Direct, tight control over Arri had proven difficult to develop. She fought with it for an entire month before making any progress. Previously, she had struggled to not manifest Arri fully upon activating it, but now she could cover select areas. Like her fingertips to make subtle claws with her aura; it was much more practical to adjust as necessary than waste energy. The complexity of Nemmi required Arri to function to perfection, after all. She needed a pure transmuter technique for flexibility in battle.

Overall, she supposed, her Nen was slightly less of a disaster than a year ago. She wished she could say the same thing about her Hunter status.

She had yet to choose her specialization even after dabbling in three options.

Blacklist hunting had promise, but annoyed her with its formalities. Her eyes narrowed with irritation just thinking about it. Information on high-level targets often went to established Hunters with more power and money at their disposal. Building a reputation would take time and money, and Lan felt reluctant to give up either.

She had rejoined Knuckle and Shoot for a month when the two invited her to the dense tropics in southern Yorobia to catalog new frog species; truly beast hunting at its finest. Admittedly, she had fun (with the exception of her face-planting in a muddy puddle while chasing a frog). Especially when Knuckle got his head stuck in a carnivorous plant and when they found car-sized bats, but she still had reservations after the events of the exam. She also… she didn't know how much Knuckle, Shoot, and Morel would like her if they knew about all of her hobbies. She only showed a specific side around them, one lacking adrenaline addiction and homicidal tendencies. They didn't know about her family's past, either. She was just a fellow Hunter that took protecting animals a bit too seriously in their eyes.

She did, however, end up pooling her money with Knuckle to start a reserve in Saherta. (She might have said no if the guy didn't hand her a baby griffon hawk and blubber a sob story about their dwindling numbers in the wild. Soft-hearted guy knew how to play her emotions...) It ensured that they would continue to work together, increasing the chances that she would do something to betray his trust.

A lovely blend of her choices, Poacher Hunter might be her best option. She could work beside researchers and kill anyone that interfered. It could hide some of her bloodlust behind obligation, at least.

She just couldn't push herself to make a final decision, wary of placing herself in a potential cage. She would eternally adore animals, but could be fickle with other interests. Changing jobs as often as she changed clothes sounded better than being bound by a single title, surrounded by peers that could eventually question her validity. And what if she got bored? Her face scrunched at the mere thought.

In any case, her current predicament was her severe lack of funds. Between starting a reserve, traveling about, and feeding Yan and Tai, she had blown through her money. Lan had already been on her phone for an hour, scouring the internet for get-rich-quick schemes that still sounded fun. Nothing had caught…

This Heaven's Arena sounded promising. She clicked the link, only having a vague idea that the tower involved fighting. Past the promotional material spouting about thrilling battles and some grand Battle Olympia tournament, she found a list of popular fighters to see if they lived up to the hype the Arena created around itself.

She jolted to a sitting position. Her hand shook, the image on screen stealing her breath and forcing a quivering smile onto her face. Worried stares from other people in the room burrowed into her back, a few shuffling away. Nemmi complained noisily while pulling at her aura, not so subtly telling her to stop with the overexcited, murderous aura she let slip at a mere image. Quickly, she stifled it, her eyes never leaving her phone as she essentially drooled over the potential lead- certainly not just Hisoka's stupid smirking face that she hadn't seen in a year, the expression bringing back fond memories of bruises and bloodlust.

Of course, he would love a place like Heaven's Arena! How did she not find this place sooner?

He refused to simply meet up somewhere, challenging her to find him if she wanted her rematch early; he seemed to be under the impression she wasn't ready. He also told her this in the most infuriating, inappropriate of ways, punctuating it with his custom winking or smiley faces.

Her fingers tapped away at her phone without hesitation, exiting the web browser, pulling up messaging, and clicking the row of card suits that served as his name. This was the first opportunity she had to track him to somewhere concrete; she couldn't waste it. Even if it meant embarrassing herself.

"Where are you? I want a rematch so badly, Hisoka. I need it." She threw in some hearts as bait. He rarely answered right away, especially text messages, but if he did it meant he was dreadfully bored. If he was bored, chances were he was somewhere doing nothing. The Heaven's Arena site said nothing about him being in an upcoming match, so if he was there sitting around…

"How desperate~ As much as I want to gouge you open and play in your guts, your just not ripe enough yet~"

Lan swallowed thickly. He had long since narrowed in on what made her uncomfortable. She could play along with innuendos and outright dirty comments over text and muddle through actual calls, but the fruit comparisons made her fumble with her words as her brain seized. At least this mention of cutting her apart didn't involve pictures… Whoever he had met up with a few months ago had him so riled up that he called her after sending her a picture of a mangled corpse with needles stabbed in it. Then he incoherently rambled about an assassin and wanting to fight him but not being able to for some obtuse reason that only made sense to him, before saying he wanted her. Asking him "in a homicidal or sexual way?" lead to a simple, concerning yes. She had let that conversation drop there before she found herself in a deeper hole.

His unusual response time showed painfully obvious boredom. She stood, using her typical mortified pause between messages to check bus schedules. One left for Kou-Ang in thirty minutes. She hastily began walking to the station on the edge of town, forgetting anything else she had planned now that she had Hisoka on her mind.

"A hint, then?" she sent back, Nemmi chiding her when she almost walked into the street and in front of a car. She quickly switched to the Heaven's Arena site, scanning a list of helpdesk numbers, not keen on making a pointless trip through Kou-Ang, across the ocean, and to the arena only for him to be elsewhere. Finding a way to confirm he was there became a priority…

"Nemmi, please stop whining," she mumbled, his restless chatter directly in her ear. Being completely made of her life energy, he very much wanted to keep her alive. "He probably won't kill us… yet." The snap of his beak showed how much he adored that answer. "I just want a rematch."

She chewed her lip, no longer certain if that was allshe wanted from him. If he dropped out of her life after a rematch, things would be so dreadfully dull. They had an odd understanding of each other's more… depraved… quirks. Not that she considered herself quite at his level of strange; he still found ways to make even her uncomfortable. He just seemed to fall so far outside of normal, yet he was completely unbothered by it. She wanted to know how he managed to forget his humanity entirely.

A one-word message appeared on screen: "Nope~" The smiley face made her roll her eyes, but it also ended the conversation.

She forced herself to wait. If he felt bored enough, he would call her after she ignored him 'for an eternity,' otherwise known as a full minute. The moment she decided he had lost interest, she called a number from the list on the arena's site, hoping she picked the right one. She really didn't want to spend time being redirected from one person to the next in an endless loop.

"Can you tell me if one of the fighters is currently at the arena?" Lan asked over the pleasantries the poor arena employee tried to deliver. Nemmi chided her for her overexcitement as the employee tried to comprehend the sudden question.

"Um… I… Yes? I can check, I mean." The woman hesitated another moment, the soft clicking of keys barely audible over the phone. "Who are you looking for?"

"Hisoka."

Dead silence.

Lan thought the call disconnected, but a few reluctant key clacks following the heavy pause showed otherwise. His reputation must proceed him. Lan wondered if there were videos of his fights online… He was probably a fantastic showman, as he acted theatrical even without an audience. He loved attention.

"He is," the arena employee responded after an eternity.

Lan stumbled over a curb. She didn't expect to actually find him. With her luck, she thought he'd have just left the arena to disappear to go do whatever it was he did- stalk people, she assumed. A smile forced its way onto her face, her pace quickening with the promise of a rematch. Pitting her full strength against someone like Hisoka and making it out alive by more than a pity-to-waste-you would prove to herself her own capability. If she could stand a chance against Hisoka, then she might survive the Fan Shi as well.

"Is that all I can help you with today?"

The voice returned Lan to the moment. In a checklist flurry of thoughts, she assured that she had all the information she needed. "Does his room have a phone extension?" The website mentioned the top fighters were offered free rooms at some point; she presumed Hisoka had long since reached that level. If she pretended to know him, she guessed he would stay at the arena rather than some boring hotel. "His room number as well." Might as well ask now rather than have to search for him when she arrived.

"I… I don't… I'm not sure that I can…" The employee fumbled over her words, caught off guard by the request. Hisoka must terrify people if someone wishing to visit him immediately made them sound crazy. "I'm sorry, but that goes against one of our policies. I-"

"He won't be pleased to hear how you treated his friend." Lan stepped in front of the station, her patience gone as she ran out of time. She would be going no matter if the woman could provide the information or not. A flimsy threat to speed up the process seemed appropriate- although Auntie would be very disapproving, given the arena employee was just trying to do her job. "And, tell me, do you think anyone can cause him problems? How many of his opponents has he killed?" Actually, she wouldn't mind knowing her odds.

Another pause proceeded a timid string of numbers. As soon as Lan ended the call, she entered the numbers onto her phone before putting it away. She didn't want to forget while she debated her next move. Body on autopilot, she purchased a bus ticket and sat on a bench to wait.

Should she call him? Surely, he would find humor in her calling his room to gloat about finding him. But, would he then leave before she arrived? He made it clear he held little interest in a rematch with her currently. She felt like a teenager trying to decide if she should call her crush… Except she wanted to set up a fight with a dangerous psychopath instead of a cute date with someone nice.

But no. Hisoka was at the arena for a reason. He might not have a match yet, but he wouldn't be there without some warped reason. He always seemed to be looking for something to entertain himself with, after all. Even though she happened to find him, he wouldn't abandon whatever he had set out to do just to avoid her; she wasn't worth it. Offering herself as a bit of entertainment in the meantime might actually convince him to give her a rematch.

Nemmi ruffled his feathers, shuffling his feet on her shoulder in irritation.

Such a grumpy Nen-bird today. He always killed her blind excitement by sensing obvious danger and gaining her reluctant acceptance of it. Like the time she was seven, sneaked out, and wanted to jump out of a tree onto a deer three times her size. Silly Nemmi had squawked to startle the deer away before chattering until she had safely climbed down. Of course, now… Now he wasn't… Her nails scrapped skin as she wrung her hands. Now he was Nen instead of flesh.

"I will be fine, Nemmi," she mumbled, momentarily appeasing the phantom bird while drawing the eyes of an old man sitting next to her. A malice-tinged glare sent the man's attention forward. She sighed heavily, trying to shove that memory away before she ruined her otherwise good mood.

After sitting in silence, a few more people gathering around, the bus arrived with screeching brakes and rusted metal: the finest in rural transportation. Anchi, by no means, had a sound infrastructure outside of the largest cities. Corruption tended to skew priorities. She boarded, taking a torn-cushion seat next to a window, the seat beside it an irreparable, broken mess; her usual spot, really. The last time she rode it to Kou-Ang had been to go to the Hunter Exam…

She fished her phone back out of her pocket, finally making up her mind.


Hisoka placed another card onto his growing tower, a smile plastered to his face with his good mood.

He had a match coming up soon. Someone he had faced before, albeit hopefully stronger and at peak potential now. Kastro had arranged for a match himself when he learned Hisoka had returned to the arena. A fabulous fight to the death amidst the cheering crowd, how wonderful it would be. Hisoka could hardly wait to crush Kastro, all his dutiful training culminating in his utter defeat as he crumpled to the ground.

Not to mention little Gon's mission to return the exam badge to him. That would be soon too considering how quickly the two children picked up on Nen.

"Hmm?"

His eyes lifted from his cards, slowly wandering to the now ringing telephone. Few people called the room phone, but it was usually boring reporters seeking interviews, terrified staff members that needed something or another, or some weak-willed soul making death threats while too scared to actually confront him. Whoever it was happened to be quite insistent.

With the flick of his finger and a bit of aura, he pulled the phone from the holder to his hand, leaning back in the chair as he held it to his ear. "Yes?" he asked, dragging out the word longer than necessary.

"Hisoka."

A grin cut across his face at the familiar voice. His little fledgling managed to find him. "Naughty girl, teasing me when you already knew where I was. Where are your manners?" A rhetorical question considering Lan had very few manners, instead choosing to make blunt demands with falsified authority. Niceties seemed to slip her mind like she never learned politeness. Still, she outright teased him with her earlier messages begging him for his location. He couldn't let her get away with that, as adorable as her false sense of control was. She was like a small dog that had no concept of size.

In the background of the call, he heard the whirr of an engine and the rattling of metal over uneven ground: a vehicle. He wondered how close she was, if she had found his location days or moments ago.

"I'm going to pay you a visit," she said, tone edged with excitement that she tried to bury under aloofness.

"You want a rematch so badly its making you sound a bit desperate, fledgling." Few people were so enthusiastic about fighting him; naïve Gon and eccentric Lan were the few exceptions. Although, Lan sought companionship as much as a rematch.

Over the last year she had initiated an assortment of random conversations with him. The last one had been about high heels and their practicality in battle; Lan apparently lacked his grace, breaking her heels as she chased after someone. She also asked curious questions about him, like his favorite color- which he answered pink to lead into talking about Bungee Gum, just knowing she would be livid when she learned he had alluded to his ability. She seemed bizarrely taken with him.

"Acting like a stalker is no way to make friends," he admonished.

"You would know," she muttered, not reacting the way he wanted. She never denied nor confirmed that she wanted his friendship; she avoided it at all costs, making it apparent. If she remained so wary of trusting him, how was he supposed to thoroughly break her? "I expect you to be there when I get there tomorrow." Her confidence wavered with uncertainty, her statement becoming a question pleading to be answered with a promise.

He really had no reason to say no to her visit. It would be days until Kastro arrived, a couple more before their match. Silly Gon had been injured, halting his training while he recovered, so Hisoka would be waiting even longer for their match. Lan always proved a useful distraction when he was bored, if nothing else.

He could also repay her for her behavior. Teasing him, pretending to flirt with him, trying to control him, lying to him, she had been very misbehaved while hiding behind her phone. She needed a reminder that she was his toy, and not the other way around.

"See you soon, fledgling," he said, voice taking on a playful tone promising her misery upon her arrival.

Silence hung over the line. Her pauses spoke more than her words, sometimes; it made finding her limits almost too easy. She recognized he had something less than pleasant in store for her. "See you soon, Hisoka." A simple click and the line went dead, her goodbye laced with anticipation rather than fear.

A tap to the tower as he walked away made it collapse, cards spreading out over the table. Such a strange girl, playing with him instead of running. It almost made it a shame to kill her; at least so soon, while she remained interesting.


Lan set her phone on her lap, leaning her head back into the seat, eyes closed and a small smile on her face. She had no idea what he planned to do when she got there, but it would certainly be unpleasant and thrilling.

Every moment during the exam, he had her on edge, her adrenaline spiking with his every move. It had been so exciting! In the years since the attack on the compound, the death of her father, she had never felt as alive as when she had met Hisoka. The risks she had taken since being freed from her father's control, in playing with man-eating beasts and killing would-be poachers, nothing amounted to the danger Hisoka presented. It was intoxicating. Defiant and formerly sheltered, Auntie said it made for a hellish combination sure to get Lan killed. She was probably right, but…

Hisoka didn't plan to kill, at least not yet. She was by no means "ripened to perfection." One more battle to redeem her pride and a final glimpse at the depths of his strength were all she wanted. Then, she would avoid spurring further confrontation.

Lan shifted, a finger absently picking at the torn fabric on the seat. A frown set across her face.

She… she hoped they would be loosely friends, or, more likely, allies soon. While she might be spared death after one more battle, the following encounters could prove fatal. Unless, of course, she could convince him she was better kept alive. If they reached some sort of understanding, like whatever he had with this assassin he had mentioned, then she wouldn't need to cut ties with him. She, admittedly, found him rather entertaining to talk to and would miss their conversations. Even if her personality was a bit tamer, they held so many similarities. He also seemed like a trove of information gained through experience; a mentor, she supposed. It would be hard to find another person like him.

The soft click of Nemmi's beak made her open her eyes. He titled his head questioningly.

"Don't be silly," she said under her breath, even if the loud bus would drown out her talking to herself. Aside from their rematch, and disregarding her planned attempt to befriend him further, she had another goal. One that seemed more reasonable. "I have something to ask him."

While working as a Blacklist Hunter, she had come across another fascinatingly dangerous animal.

A band of ruthless thieves renowned in their power… An A-Class Bounty that no one could capture… The Phantom Troupe. Or, simply, the Spider. Lan needed to know just how powerful they were. Were they stronger than the Fan Shi? Hisoka? Morbid curiosity had seized her upon hearing of their exploits. To gain such notoriety, to become untouchable to even Hunters, she wanted to know what it took to reach such heights of infamy.

"Hisoka might know something about them…" she mumbled, shifting again as she tried to stifle the bubbly smile creeping onto her face. Nemmi's tugging at her aura reminded her to calm down, to not lose herself to irrational desires- like perhaps fighting a Troupe member to see how overwhelmingly powerful they were. Hisoka seemed a connoisseur of talent; he must know something about the Troupe. Unless they didn't meet his standards. In which case she might stand a chance against them, and could then collect the massive bounty on them. Doubtful, but it was a nice thought, if a bit disappointing considering their reputation.

"What, Nemmi?" The yanking on her shirt finally pulled her attention back to the bird. With an irked squawk, he pointed his beak at her phone, the screen on. Lan jolted forward, almost launching her phone as she panicked.

"Lanfen," Auntie said sternly the second Lan had the phone to her ear. "You forgot about lunch, didn't you?"

Zero excuses came to mind.

"And do I hear an engine?" Auntie's tone shifted further into tired exasperation. "Where are you, Lanfen?"

"In a bus," she meekly responded. She felt guilty already, since she promised to have a nice, civil lunch with Auntie today. (The last attempt had been interrupted by Knuckle calling to give her an update on the reserve, Lan then on the phone for an hour making arrangements with him.) "On my way to Kou-Ang," she added, even more guilty. Kou-Ang was a dangerous place for Lan, as it was Bai Ze central… Seventeen-year-old, drunk, party-girl Lan had given Auntie plenty of other reasons to be worried about her going there, too. Even she regretted that phase… "To the airport, to go to the Republic of Padokea to…" Arrange a possible death match with a homicidal clown? Definitely couldn't tell Auntie the whole truth. "To meet with a friend?"

"A friend?" Too sharp to miss the questioning tone, Auntie sounded adequately dubious. "Which one? That nice Hunter boy, or the one you're always on the phone with?" Lan's silence made the answer clear, Auntie sighing heavily while likely rubbing her temples. Lan deliberately avoided talking about Hisoka, knowing Auntie wouldn't approve, but she got overly excited whenever he contacted her to the point Auntie knew when she was talking with him. Didn't help that the old woman knew enough about Nen to know what bloodlust felt like- she couldn't actually use Nen, though. "Did you at least eat before leaving?"

"No."

"Pack anything?"

"…"

"Lanfen, you should really make plans before running off recklessly." While blunt, motherly concern was reflected in her tone. Auntie had essentially been her mother for a number of years.

Back at the compound, even before Lan's mother passed away, Auntie Meiling cared for her. Not the fake 'have anything you want but autotomy' her father and the staff provided, either. Meiling let her run around in the tiny courtyard, climb the trees, sit on the roof, and make friends with Nemmi. She also secretly gave her adventure novels to read, even if her father thought they were a bad influence. Because Lan couldn't feel pain, her father had obsessed over keeping her safe, anything remotely dangerous kept from her- and paperclips, since she tried to replicate the necklace one of the Fan Shi had made. Even while being taught Nen, a destructive force in itself, she was treated like a cracked porcelain doll. Not out of love, but to keep her alive to find some clue to some trinket Fanghe supposedly left with her. One that the Fan Shi desperately wanted, and was also somehow connected to her learning Nen. The important details were fuzzy, either never heard from eavesdropping on whispered conversations or ignored because she was admittedly a self-absorbed, spoiled brat.

Still, Auntie had treated her like a normal child because she had been one.

Eventually, Auntie had snapped and left. As much as Lan sometimes wanted to blame her for leaving her behind, she couldn't. Her father would have ruthlessly pursued them to get her back. Auntie… deserved better than hiding in the cage that had been the Paijin home. She took her in after the Fan Shi attack, too, even knowing it put her at risk of the same. And she also put up with Lan despite how she acted.

"Lanfen, eat when you get to Kou-Ang. I don't know why you're so obsessed with this friend of yours, but you need to remember to take care of yourself and to not act so impulsively. Also, don't you dare forget-"

"I'll be back before the end of August," Lan interrupted, fear in her voice. Auntie's one hobby happened to be collecting expensive pottery; the thirty-minute rant about some vase being sold in September, Lan didn't ever want to hear it again. She still willingly went to these auctions every year, though, to act as Auntie's bodyguard in the off chance something went wrong.

"Good." Satisfied Lan would at least keep that promise, Auntie would let her go about her business unbothered. She wasn't overtly controlling, but she did worry and make firm suggestions when necessary. They had found a strange middle ground to Lan's eccentrics. "Talk to you later, dear."

"Yes, Auntie," Lan said with a slight nod before ending the call.

She slipped her phone back into her pocket, leaning into the seat to relax the duration of the ride. Maybe, once on the airship, she would space out to meditate and rest.

If it was anything like their first meeting, seeing Hisoka again would be draining in the best of ways.


A/N:

Thank you for reading, and to TheParadoxicalOxymoron and the guest for reviewing! They really helped motivate me!

Guest- Aw, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! And that the flashback helped explain Hisoka's actions in the exam; I was really hoping I could find a reason why he'd leave willingly while also not fighting Netero even though he's all riled up. I'm very happy to hear that he's been in character too, since he's, ah, well, Hisoka. Again, thank for reviewing!