Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Reverse Psychology, Sasuke pondered, what could Ino have meant at their last meeting? The therapy was a waste of time. She never told them exactly what to do, just vague hints. As if they'd be able to figure it out with their children. There was a reason they were in therapy goddamnit, it was because they had no idea how to deal with them anymore.
He sighed, pushing it to the back of his mind and playing with his only good child. For now.
Hima didn't giggle much, or smile. Where did she get all this melancholy from? He tried tickling under her chin, and she started crying. Who was he kidding? Sasuke couldn't raise a girl. Hima's wails were giving him a headache.
"Hinata," he called. The only girl he was used to crying in this house was his wife. And now there was Hima. Why did they have so many kids in the first place? He hated children. Or just his.
She hurriedly walked into the room, after seeing the baby bawling, she took her from his arms, musing. "What did you do to her?"
Sasuke scowled, "Nothing."
He watched his youngest son come down the stairs, "Where's your brother?"
Takun shrugged.
"Where are you going?"
"Out." The front door slammed shut.
He only raised an eyebrow, whatever. The less children in this house the better.
"Where did Takun say he was going?"
"Out." Her husband used his fingers. Hinata frowned, "Sasuke, you let him leave the house by himself?"
"He's fourteen Hinata, the boy can take care of himself."
She got up, carrying Hima, "That's exactly how we raised Misuke." She went outside, probably to call for him.
Sasuke felt his headache worsen.
Takun hadn't even left, he was outside in front of the house. "What are you doing out here?" Hinata called after him. He turned around, "Nothing."
She shifted Hima on her hip, "Oh, well then can you help me with dinner?"
"No."
"Is something wrong?"
"No."
No? No? The hell? Was that the only thing he knew how to say? She could feel the blood burning into her veins. She turned around and seethed, "Takun get inside."
While he was mildly surprised at her, he didn't let it phase him. "No."
She couldn't take it anymore. "Takun! You better march yourself inside this instant!"
He finally looked back, slightly irritated but more frightened. "Okay, jeez." he muttered.
Hinata let him pass first before going in after him and smashing the door shut again. Takun was already climbing the stairs when she said, "You are grounded young man, no more going outside. No more TV, no more video games."
The only reply she got was the door to his room slamming upstairs.
"Can you believe him?" She scoffed to her husband who was resting on the couch.
"No," Sasuke shook his head not listening at all. His headache was throbbing into his skull.
She set Hima down, "Do you know what my father would've done to me if I ever said no to him?"
"I hear ya Hinata," he rubbed his temples, sitting up slowly.
"And Misuke, ugh don't even get me started on him." Hinata threw her hands up at the ceiling.
"Terrible children," he muttered.
She started pacing around the entryway "Honestly, Hima's the best because she hasnt done anything bad yet."
"I wish they were dead too," he nodded.
She looked up at him, "What?"
He blunk, "What?"
Hinata watched him, was he even listening? Did anyone ever listen in this house? "You're sleeping on the couch." Absolutely not, Sasuke would be damned if he slept alone.
Before they could start a fight, the door swung open. Of course, the only person who would never hesitate to open a door, never knock, or ring the doorbell. Their firstborn, Misuke.
And he was never alone. Hinata was outraged, what was some lowlife tramp doing with her son? Not that he was any better.
"Aye ma, dad. Thas Lucy." She waved.
They walked inside the house, Hinata couldn't believe her eyes, did her son just let some disease ridden girl into her house?
"Oh my god, are those apples ripe yet? Can I pick them?" Lucy staggered deeper into their home towards their christmas tree.
Misuke laughed uncomfortably, "Those are christmas ornaments actually." And they were white and silver colored..
Sasuke would've laughed, he would've mockingly congratulated his son on finding a dumb whore. Sasuke would've done a lot of things, had Hinata not been red.
And she wasn't blushing.
"Get out." She pointed to the door.
Misuke gapped, "Mom-"
"You too." She shouted. Hima was crying now. Hinata calmed down enough to try and cradle her daughter, but Sasuke wouldn't let her. He kept Hima close to his chest, afraid that his lovely wife might throw her at the wall.
She rolled her eyes, "Misuke."
"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "Nows not a good time Lucy, maybe tomorrow. Call me, bye." He opened the door and ushered her out. Closing it slowly, and looking down at his mother.
"Yo, what the fuck forreal?"
She grit her teeth, "Shut up and sit down, we're not done talking about this."
He complied, and Sasuke awkwardly gave Hima to him. Misuke took to playing with his little sisters thin hair.
She gestured for her husband to come. "Follow me."
Sasuke sluggishly got up muttering "Fucking kids I didn't even do anything." under his breath.
Misuke could still hear his mother talking while upstairs, "Bringing some hoe into my house? Who does he think he is."
When it was just the both of them, Sasuke asked, "Alright, what do you want?"
Hinata didn't reply, she only went into Misuke's room, looking through his neat dresser and closet. Pulling out a pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt, she threw them at Sasuke, "Put these on."
He looked horrified, "I said put them on!"
They were now in their own closet, Hinata looking for the skimpiest outfit she owned, which was quite the task, seeing as she never wore anything above her knees. Sasuke watched her put on tight short shorts, that he didn't even know she owned. And a see through white tank top.
He almost laughed, she looked like she jumped that one girl Misuke brought earlier and stole her clothes. He looked at his reflection and frowned, he wasn't much better. Hinata had made him sag the already tight jeans and show off his plaid boxers. His shirt had the word obey written on the front. It seemed pretty damn stupid to him.
Hinata went into their bathroom and came out with mussed hair, and only straight bangs. They really did look just like their son and every girl he came home with. It didn't help that Misuke was about as tall and thin as his father.
"Start remembering how Misuke talks, because we're about to scare him into being just like Takun."
Sasuke blunk, ah yes, sweater vest wearing, khaki sporting Takun. Their "good" son.
She walked down the stairs, and Sasuke went after her. Takun saw them, "Hey, Misuke- oh dad?"
He looked back, slightly peeved at how much he looked like his son. "What."
"Why are you wearing Misuke's clothes?" he asked slowly. Sasuke sighed, "Listen its a long story, just go downstairs." Takun shrugged and trudged down the stairs with his father just in time to see Misuke clutch onto his sister, shielding his eyes.
"Mm, there you is papi." she strutted towards Sasuke, who was also slightly uncomfortable. Hinata gave him a stern look and he got into character, "Yeah yeah homegirl, here I is, miss me?"
As soon as Misuke saw his father, his eyes narrowed, "Yo tha fuck? Go put my clothes back you stretchin' em."
"Good." Sasuke berated, "These clothes are too tight."
Takun sat next to his brother, amused. "Aight, so what do you want?"
"We don't want shit son," Hinata snapped, "we just being us."
"Oh my god ma, stop that aint cute."
She flipped her curly hair, "Oh? Is it only cute when Lucy wears it?"
"Yeah homie stop talking shit." Sasuke backed her up.
"Y'all aint even thugs doe, posers."
Sasuke mocked being shocked, "Whatcha know 'bout thugs huh boy?"
"You don't know 'bout that life kid, step off." Hinata snapped her fingers into a Z figure.
"Forreal son, we was thugs since before you was even born."
He raised an eyebrow, "Yeah? What typa thugnificent things yall did?"
"Yo ya hear this shit Hinata? The boy don't believe me!" Sasuke didn't take his eyes off his son.
She clapped after every word, "Oooh, son, yous abouta get roasted." Misuke couldn't help but think how ratchet that was.
Sasuke nodded, "You're the poser dog, just a spittin' image of me real talk."
"I ain't get shit from you,"
"Son, the last four letter of your name are mine, yo fuckin' last name is mine homie!"
Misuke was beyond annoyed. "My last names supposed to be yours jit, you're my father."
"Jit?!" Hinata reittered. She didn't have the slightest clue what it meant, but she wasn't about to be outdone by anyone. "Mothafocka who the hell do you think you is calling ya own daddy a jit, do yo bitchass know how to spell jit?"
"J-I-T." He deadpanned.
She scoffed, "Oooh, so you think you slick now huh? Why the fuck you still got a D in english then? Huh? You want the D son?"
Misuke cringed, she probably didn't even realize what she just said. Takun did though, seeing as he was laughing.
"No lie, I got the best grades at school, every girl on my dick too. You got easy girls homie, I get the bible hugging, hardbodies. You see ya ma? She was my bestfriends girlfriend, and I still got her! Our families hate each other, illest wedding reception ever bitch!"
Their son slapped his hands on his ears while shutting his eyes, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"
Hinata smiled triumphantly, "I think he's had enough," she whispered in Sasuke's ear.
"Wait, I wanna make sure he never brings a girl home again." he whispered back.
"Misuke, this is you." Sasuke got up to the door, and put an arm around his wife's shoulder, "Ah shawty, Ima eat that all night." Takun vomited a little in his mouth.
Hinata threw both hands around his neck, "Fuck ya, and you don't even know my name!" She laughed while he carried her and slammed her on the other couch, before jumping on her.
Misuke gagged, he quickly grabbed Hima once they started kissing.
"Grody!" Takun screamed, following his brother up the stairs.
Sasuke smirked, he knew he wasn't going to sleep alone that night.
ridin' on miakasango's swag ; thx bby luv u OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FANGIRLINGDKFMSDLKFMSD OKKK SO THERS THIS NEW MOVIE CALLED 21 AND OVER, AND OFDMGDOFIGNDFMG OK SO ITS A LOT LIKE THE HANGOVER (Same producers I think) AND IT HAS THEEE HOTTEST GUYS EVER OK, IT HAS JESSE FROM PITCH PERFECTTTT AND PETER FROM WENDY WU AND OGODIFD WILLARD FROM THE REMAKE OF FOOTLOOSEE DSKJFERFMK lEPJSK SO HAPPY, CAN'T WAIT UNTIL MARCH FIRST. oh snap, i also can't wait until road to ninja. I think the dubbed version comes out in april may-ish ? and yes, this chapter was moderately to severely basic of me to type.
