Two weeks had passed ever since that very night. Alice had gone off the grid completely, leaving nothing behind after escaping the college with everything. The Heartbreaker virus had done its job, wreaking havoc on the entire campus and everyone that went into its database or used the campus wifi. Because of Alice's personal involvement with the Heartbreaker virus, she became wanted by the police for cyber crimes administered onto SPU and everyone that went there, but for the life of them, not a single police officer was able to track her whereabouts.
Sometimes being a super genius was better than she once thought it was.
Alice made herself right at home inside of the Chaos Lair, adorning the costume given to her by her boyfriend mostly at all times. She made great use of the workshop that Chaos had provided for her, working endless hours to procreate a new weapon. It was a great difference when she was able to work when she wanted, and she had a lot of help in the form of Chaos Minions who kept a good eye on her eating and sleeping habits. It was less restricting, and more rewarding. Laying low provided her with the ability to do some things she always wanted to do, borrowing the Chaos Minions for a fun project where she wired the entire town with spy cameras so she could keep tabs everywhere.
Being the girlfriend of Professor Chaos had its benefits, most of which was being able to see her boyfriend more often than not. She quickly learned that Professor Chaos was more than an identity, it was his life choice, and if anything was an identity then it was Leopold Stotch. Professor Chaos was his livelihood, his career, his true self.
The complexity of what names meant for her boyfriend made her reevaluate her own identity. Alice Horowitz wasn't really a name she longed to have anymore, it had become tiresome and it came with a history of being used and degraded for her brilliance. She felt freer when she put on the mask, in the way that made her feel like she was finally in control of her own life and not living up to anyone else's expectations. No one could touch her when she was Psychotique, no one could judge her, and no one could take advantage of her.
But Psychotique wasn't a secret anymore, not really. Everyone and their mother knew who Psychotique really was, and she didn't really care to be linked to her civilian identity no more than she had to.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Chaos ran his fingers through her hair as they gazed into the mirror, "I'm only sayin', this was my life choice, it doesn't have to be yours."
Alice kept her hands on the sink, looking away from her reflection and down to the pair of scissors that sat before her. "I learned a lot about myself after moving in here, a lot about you and your reasons for doing what you did. You left Leopold Stotch behind because of your abusive childhood, and I understand that."
Chaos leaned into her while his arms threaded around her waist, "It was one of my best decisions, and I don't regret that at all. I only stayed for you."
She ran her fingers along the metal, looking back up at her reflection, back at her loose hair. "I want to leave Alice Horowitz behind as a message, I no longer want to be used. I no longer want a name associated with a world that doesn't want me. Is…is that enough of a reason or am I being selfish?"
Chaos hugged her comfortingly, "It's a good reason, Alice, it's always a good reason. You want to start fresh as your own person, do everything on your own terms. Don't feel selfish for wanting something you deserve." He removed his arms from her waist to gather up her hair, "Erasing the name Alice Horowitz from existence won't erase you."
Chaos moved her hair into her free hand, stepping away as Alice picked up the scissors. Erasing an identity was easier than a few key clicks, and she had already done it once before, with Leopold Stotch, who was now legally dead. This was now her chance to do the same, to leave her own life behind and start anew.
She steadied her hand as she made the first cut, finally letting out the breath she had been holding as she cut through the rest of her hair.
Slender hands joined hers and curled around the scissors she was holding, and Chaos guided them away from her. "Let me do the rest, my lady." He said kindly, brushing some hair from her shoulder. "Have you thought of an alias for public appearances?"
"I'm tempted to just go by Alex, maybe to match my boyish appearance." She giggled then, "No one will really know the difference, I have some glasses laying around that I can use."
"Alex is androgynous enough, I'm still thinking about mine. I'm not really sure I'm ready to show myself again outside the mask, I don't really care for it." He frowned as he said it.
"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to." She told him reassuringly, offering a smile. "I'm still trying to come up with a super villain name. Care to help me with one?"
Chaos' eyes glittered with an idea upon her question. "I have just the name, my lady."
It was five days later after the death of Alice Horowitz, that Professor Chaos got an important call.
It was a call her didn't expect to get, and neither did his lady. They both stood there, exchanging curious glances as they stood in front of her larger monitor. Before them was none other than The Coon, smiling at them like he had a secret to tell.
"How did you get this number?" She was the first to ask the question, feeling defensive.
"I have tricks, just like you do." Coon explained simply, "Professor, congratulations on your newest addition, do I get an invite to the wedding?"
Chaos narrowed his eyes, "Cut the shit and explain yourself, Coon."
A grin formed on Coon's face, and he chuckled. "Testy, I'm only here for her." He gestured towards the girl, "I was contacted by an informant, someone who wished to discover a secret. According to my informant, the young Alice Horowitz was doing just fine and dandy until someone had slipped it to the dean about her nightly romps along the battlefield."
Chaos' eyes widened slightly, turning to his lady. She looked stricken, looking back at Chaos before glaring at Coon. "Why did they contact you?"
Coon grinned at her question, "Because that informant is a friend of yours, and he paid me to find out who the culprit was. I'd regale you on why he contacted me, but I'm not here for that." He wiggled his fingers teasingly, "You do remember the Freedom Pals, do you?"
She thought hard about it, folding her arms. "You used to work with them…hold on…one of them outed me?" Her voice raised as she said it, turning towards her boyfriend and taking his arm, "I had a feeling!"
"Let's hear what he has to say first," Chaos said calmingly, "I'm curious as well."
Coon chuckled again. "Yes, I worked with them enough to know who they were behind the mask. Now, let's play a guessing game. List three of your former friends and I'll link them to your heroes. You only get three choices."
She broke her gaze away from the screen, letting go of Chaos to pace the workshop. "Three of my former friends…" She went to the only three that mattered, looking back to the monitor, "Stan Marsh, Wendy Testaburger, and Kyle Broflovski."
The guesses had Coon applauding on her brains, "You are a smart one! Good, very good."
"Get with it, Coon!" Chaos finally snapped, "We don't have all day!"
The other boy didn't seem to be affected by the order, nodding anyway and cracking his knuckles. "Your three friends are the three most popular superheroes, Toolshed being Stan Marsh, Call Girl being Wendy Testaburger, and Human Kite being your favorite Jew, Kyle Broflovski. Now, out of all three of them, guess which one outed you."
Chaos glared at Coon scathingly, but his girlfriend was back to pacing the room.
"If you need any help, I have a recording that may jog your memory, which my informant had given me." He held up a voice recorder and waved it at them teasingly, pressing the play button.
"Yes my name is—no, wait, my name's not important. I'm an anonymous caller and a student at SPU. I have it on good authority that Alice Horowitz has been misusing the college's property by taking her inventions out into town so she can pretend to be a superhero. I understand there are rules and regulations concerning anything created with your grant money. I think if you check the security footage, you'll be able to catch her. That's all I have to tell you, thank you for your time." CLICK.
"I know that voice…" Chaos stepped back, turning to his lady and watching the mix of emotions that was running through her face, shock, anger, hurt, pain, and finally, seething anger.
"Kyle Broflovski…" She breathed, "He always had something to say about my work."
Chaos took her hands, "Alice Horowitz is dead, my lady, that past is behind us." He looked into her eyes with a smile, "If he didn't do that, then you wouldn't be here."
She gazed into his eyes in return, urging herself to smile, "He needs to learn a lesson." She whispered, "and that lesson is not to cross me." Her voice became harder then, and finally she tore her eyes away from her boyfriend and onto Coon. "What do you want for this information?"
Coon was grinning at the show, fully amused and intrigued at what just played out. "I require only one thing, Lady Chaos,"
"I want a front seat to the show you're about to give."
It was a rare collaboration, the joining together of the Coon and Professor Chaos. It was also the introduction of Lady Chaos, everything starting off with a bang as the girl proceeded to welcome herself into the fold, her first act of villainy being to throw the entire town of South Park into pure darkness.
The electricity was down everywhere, total blackness overtaking the entire town save for one specific area. City Hall.
In fact, not only was the electricity on in City Hall, but there were floodlights on the very building, and sitting on the ledge of the second floor window was Lady Chaos, waiting patiently while the Chaos minions down below were taking up the inner rooms.
Coon was sitting in the mayor's seat on the second floor, taking in the importance of sitting in the mayor's seat while Professor Chaos gazed out the open window at his Lady, who sat calmly on the other end. "Is the building ready yet?" He asked her.
"The last of the explosives are being put in place." Lady replied to him happily, adjusting her headset. "The Freedom Pals should be here soon."
She was right, as the first to the scene was Mysterion. He stood at the entrance to the building, gazing up at the woman clad in blue and black. His heart raced at the realization of just who that woman was, breathing out a sigh of relief that no, she wasn't dead like the newspapers said. She was there, alive, and he still had a chance.
Before he could call out to her, the rest of his friends arrived. Human Kite, Toolshed, Call Girl, Super Guy and Wonder Storm.
"Oh geeze—" Wonder Storm realized what Mysterion just did, crying out like he had just seen a ghost and clinging to Super Guy's arm for a split second. "It's her!" He breathed, awestruck.
Lady Chaos crossed her legs, watching them all calmly as they too came to the same realization. Her eyes lingered on Human Kite, and she waved teasingly.
"Psychotique!" Toolshed stepped further into the light, "You fake your death for this? What the fuck!"
"This is going too far, Alice!" Call Girl said harshly, "You can't just freak everyone out like that! Do you realize how many people were actually hurt by this?" She followed Toolshed into the light, "You can't just fake your death and expect no one to care! We went to your funeral!" She cried out.
Professor Chaos watched on, putting his hand on his Lady's shoulder. She was trembling.
"This was some kind of stunt to get our attention, wasn't it?" Human Kite then stepped into the light, followed by Super Guy and Wonder Storm. "I can't fucking believe you would do this! I shouldn't put it past you, either. This is the biggest douche move, Alice!"
Lady Chaos' eyes flickered over to Mysterion's face, waiting for him to speak. He looked dumbstruck, passing his friends and stepping further into the light.
"I understand why, Alice. Don't listen to them. I understand why you did it, I understood everything. I'm sorry, Alice, I should have reached out to you in the first place!" Mysterion said honestly, "Everything you did was for the greater good but you have to understand that the rest of the world isn't going to use you like everyone else did! There's still time to change, Alice. There's still a chance to start all over. This time I'll stand with you, all you have to do is believe. You're still good, Alice. I know you are!"
Lady Chaos raised her wrist and pushed back her glove, tapping on the wristwatch and smiling coldly as metal polls extended from the outer edge of the floodlights boundaries, electrifying and sparking to life and creating an electromagnetic barrier that trapped the heroes in their place.
"FUCK!" Wonder Storm cried out, holding onto Super Guy, "It-itwas a trap guys!"
"Shh." Super Guy held onto him, "She's not going to do anything to us." He said reassuringly.
Wonder Storm made an unsure noise, watching as Lady Chaos stood up from her perch. Two more lights from behind them focused on her, controlled by the Chaos Minions. In her hand was a gun-like weapon that was as large as her thigh.
"Super Guy is right." She said lowly, "I'm not here to harm all of you." Her voice sounded devoid of emotion. "I'm only here to harm one of you." She lifted the gun to settle it on her shoulder, activating the scope. A red beam of light targeted the ground, moving until it was directly on Human Kite.
Toolshed jumped back, though he fell onto the barrier and cried out, pointing at Human Kite in a sheer panic, "Dude, she's aiming it at you." He shouted.
Call Girl whipped around, her eyes widening, "Kite!"
Mysterion clenched his teeth, "Alice! You can't!"
"I know it was you, Kyle." Lady Chaos spoke above Mysterion, making them all go still in shock. Human Kite's eyes widened horrifyingly, staring directly at the woman.
"Y-you gotta understand—I didn't do it to hurt you!" Kyle's voice broke, and he tried to move away, the red beam followed him, aiming directly at his chest. "I was trying to stop you! It was for your own good!" He shouted.
Professor Chaos perched himself on the edge, keeping quiet. Between them, Coon was shoveling popcorn into his mouth, watching the show.
"You know what my inventions mean to me, and you almost took them from me, Kyle." Lady Chaos' voice rose, growing hard. "I want everyone to witness me thanking you for your kindness, because you've been such a good friend to me." She spat it out acidly. "This weapon is my newest blast gun, and it fires a lethal dose of energy into its target, depending on the range, the shot can go right through you." She fixed a gracious smile after that, "You'll be my first target, Kyle."
Kyle shook his head, backing up as far as he could go. "No, no, no, no. You can't kill me Alice, you're not that kind of person! What about your conscience? You can't kill me, Alice!"
"Alice Horowitz is dead!" She snapped, glaring at him, "I go by Lady Chaos now, and I hope your friends remember it!"
She pulled the trigger, and time stood still. Everyone screamed, but it wasn't Kyle that took the blast. Mysterion had leapt into the path of the energy blast, the shot ripping into his gut and throwing him into Kyle.
Lady Chaos reeled back from the kickback of the gun but Professor Chaos caught her before she could fall.
"MYSTERION!" Toolshed's voice shrieked, instantly doubling over to vomit at the sight of the bloodied and gruesome body.
"OH GOD, OH GOD," Kyle began to hyperventilate, trying to push himself away, "He saved me, dude—he—"
Lady Chaos stared directly at Mysterion's corpse, almost dropping her gun before Professor Chaos caught it for her and dropped it back through the window. He quickly took her into his arms, whispering calming words into her ear as she tried to deal with the shock.
"This turned out better than I expected." Coon said from the window, chuckling in amusement.
Kyle couldn't hear the cries, staring up at Lady Chaos and searching her eyes for any hint of remorse over what she just did, only to find nothing at all.
He was wrong. Alice Horowitz was dead, and her conscience had died along with it.
LADY CHAOS RISES, New Villian Presents Herself as Professor Chaos' New Lover and Cohort in Crime
It has been a month of twists and turns, readers, and the newest turn to ever take place onto the city of South Park is the introduction of the newest supervillain that stands along the likes of Professor Chaos and the Coon. Her name is Lady Chaos, once known as vigilante Psychotique, who once made citizens hopeful of a wondrous new superheroine, Lady Chaos is a bright mind that can hack her way into our fears like that day she hacked her way into the FBI database. I'm smitten, readers.
Rumor is that Lady Chaos and Professor Chaos are long-time partners in crime, explaining the identical title, which I think is too on the nose for this editor. I preferred Psychotique, but naming masked identities isn't in my job description. It's actually kinda heartening to know that even super villains can find love, and gives me some hope on finding Ms. Right (Lady Chaos, call me). According to an anonymous source, their relationship is "based on trust and understanding" which makes them the biggest celebrity power couple since Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. But here at SPE, our money's on the Chaos couple lasting a lot longer than Kimye.
We have some quotes from readers like you, as well as some superhero quotes about our newest femme fatale.
Mr. Slave of South Park writes, "This new queen's gonna slay. Yas queen yas! Rock those thigh-highs your legs are gorgeous!"
An anonymous reader tells us "I tell my kids to put the phones down during suppertime because if they don't Lady Chaos is going to hack all of their social media and post it all over school. Is that bad of me? I don't think it is, my kids are terrified of her wrath!"
Our very own Mysterion comes to us with a heartfelt plea of his own, he says "Lady Chaos may be evil, she may be a criminal, but she was once a wonderful woman that was trying to make the world be a better place. I knew Lady Chaos personally, and I believe that she is still that good person, but it's the likes of Professor Chaos and other people that had clouded her mind and warped her into what you know today. I want Lady Chaos to know that I'm never going to give up on her, and that you're still that optimistic girl with a kind heart. I'm not going to stop until you're back on the side of good, even if I have to die a hundred times to get you there."
That quote's a tear jerker if I ever saw one, let's hope Mysterion can make a difference.
This has been your faithful editor, C-Dog Donovan, with your weekly South Park Entertainment buzz!
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