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Chapter 7:
It wasn't until the car arrived back at the hotel, less than half an hour later, that Shizuru actually made up her mind. Until then, she had sat silently next to the solemn faced Mr. Kusanagi, debating within herself, weighing the pros and cons either way.
Finally, she realized that there was no way to determine the proper course to take on a rational basis. She'd have to do exactly what she had told Natsuki she would do-suit herself.
'In other words' she thought grimly,
'I have to operate on sheer instinct, plunge into the murky waters of the unknown, and hope I don't drown.'
When the car pulled up at the hotel, Mr. Kusanagi turned to her.
"Well, Shizuru-sama," he said, not unkindly but with no real warmth,
"you'll be leaving tomorrow, so I guess this is goodbye." He held out a hand.
"No," Shizuru said abruptly, ignoring the outstretched hand.
She drew in a lung full of air. "I've changed my mind."
The agent's inscrutable grey eyes flew open, his jaw dropped, and Shizuru felt a surge on intense satisfaction to see this imperturbable man taken off guard at last.
Immediately, however, the eyes narrowed and the jaw snapped shut. He nodded once briefly, the old detached expression firmly back in place.
"You've changed your mind," he repeated flatly.
She nodded. "Yes. I've decided to go to Fuuka after all."
"Might I ask why the sudden about face?" he enquired drily.
"I can't really answer that. I just-back there at the hospital—" she faltered.
"Today, I felt that I was seeing Natsuki, my wife, for the first time since this whole thing began." She shrugged helplessly.
"It's hard to explain. I'm sure you can't understand. Before, you were all pushing me into marriage with a stranger, and I was frightened."
"Well, Shizuru-sama, whether I understand or not is unimportant." His voice was brisk, businesslike.
"What's essential is that you have changed your mind, and I've got some phone calls to make to get things organized. I assume you're all ready to go?"
She nodded. "I was leaving on the first flight out early tomorrow morning. I've already packed."
"All right. I'll leave you now. Cancel your reservation and check out of the hotel. I'll get back to you in an hour or two. There's no reason why we can't fly you to Fuuka this afternoon. Everything there is ready anyway, since Natsuki-san is expected tomorrow. I'll arrange for a car at the Fuuka airport," he began ticking off on his fingers.
"I can get you Navy transport from Okinawa this afternoon. There's a gardener and a housekeeper already there, a couple who lives nearby."
He reached across her to open her door.
Shizuru stepped out on to the pavement and had just started towards the entrance of the hotel when she heard him call her name.
She turned around.
He was leaning over the seat, his head at the open door.
"Shizuru –sama," he repeated, "are you sure?"
"No," she said.
"No, I'm not."
She smiled at the look of consternation in his face.
"But I guess I've got to give it a try, haven't I?"
--------------Four hours Later--------------
Shizuru was driving up a narrow paved road towards the house on Fuuka. It had been a short, uneventful flight from Okinawa, and the car had been waiting for her at the airport.
The direction she had been given were quite simple to follow. It was a small circular island, set like a round emerald in the blue sea, with lush natural greenery abounding everywhere. The house itself was a low, sprawling structure directly facing a private beach. Mr. Kusanagi had told her that the nearest neighbours were two miles away on either side, so they would have all the privacy they needed.
It was late afternoon. The couple had been notified of her arrival so that everything should be in order for her. She'd been told that they always left around two o'clock, but that there was plenty of food stocked in the kitchen for her supper.
It was cool and quiet inside the house. Most of the walls on the beach side were made of glass, but the blinds were all drawn, thin wooden slats that let in very little light. It was quite a large house, she saw as she walked around exploring, but contained very few rooms. A huge main room off the entrance hallway that looked out over the beach. A wide terrace attached, with a wooden railing around it and two steps leading down to a shimmering outdoor pool.
She went down a wide dim corridor. There were two very large bedrooms, both of them with sea views and both with their own adjacent bathrooms. One of the rooms had shirt and pants hanging in the closet and underwear folded neatly in the drawers. Obviously, this had been prepared for Natsuki. She had come out of prison with nothing, and would need all the new clothes.
Shizuru hesitated inside the room, her small overnight case in one hand, her bag slung over her shoulder, debating what to do.
No, she decided finally.
I'm not ready to share a bedroom with her, even if she's still my wife.
She remembered too, Natsuki's lack of warmth towards her, and she knew that it would be a violation of Natsuki's own privacy if she were simply to move into her room first thing.
As she went back into the corridor, she realized that she didn't really know what to expect from this whole peculiar situation. She had made her decision to come here on an impulse, believing intuitively that it was worth a try.
She put her overnight case on the bed, opened it, and slowly started to unpack. Suddenly she felt very alone in the big empty house.
'What am I doing here?' she thought in a rising panic, thousands of miles from home, in a strange place, waiting for an unknown woman who was suppose to be my wife! I must be out of my mind to come here! Natsuki herself obviously doesn't want me here. Not once had she shown the remotest sign of warmth towards me.'
She sat down on the edge of the bed, her hands clutched in her lap.
'Have I done the right thing?" she wondered.
"Or made a terrible mistake? I don't even know this woman. She could be a dangerous lunatic for all I know. After the long ordeal she'd been through, anything was possible."
Then she recalled the warm glow in Natsuki's eyes, the wide smile when she had looked up at Miyabi Sanada that morning during the therapy session she had interrupted.
'I want her to look at me that way,' she thought fiercely.
Maybe it would be all right after all.
Look at the improvement in her in just two weeks, she rationalized as she went back out to the car to get her other luggage.
She'll keep getting better and eventually the suffering she had endured would only become a dim memory. We could go back home and resume our old life again just where we left off.
'I just need to be patient with her' she decided as she lugged the heavier of the two suitcases into the house.
'And in time, with luck, my happy, and light-hearted Natsuki would be returned.'
That night, after a light supper of fresh pineapple and a tasty fish salad she found in the fridge of the well appointed kitchen, Shizuru decided to call her parents. She hasn't spoken to them for several days, and she should inform them of her plans.
Her mother answered the call, and after Shizuru had told her where she was and that she'd be staying indefinitely, the inevitable question arose.
"And how is Natsuki?" her mother asked in a rather hushed, expectant voice.
"She's much better," Shizuru replied truthfully.
"She's gained weight and much stronger, too, with the physical therapy she's been getting."
"That's wonderful. How does she seem otherwise? I mean, mentally?"
"It's hard to tell," Shizuru said guardedly.
"I think those scars might take a little longer to heal, but there's a definite improvement there, too."
"How about you? Are you all right dear?"
Shizuru could sense the concern in her mother's voice.
"Oh yes, I'm fine. The weather is gorgeous and we have a perfectly beautiful house, right on the beach. It's very quiet, very private and we have a couple to help us."
"That's good," came the relieved response. "Well, keep us informed dear. We're both very proud of you. I know this can't have been easy for you. I'm glad you called."
Then, just as Shizuru was about to hang up, her mother said, "Oh I almost forgot. The Suzushiro's are staying on a house at Fuuka for the winter. I'm sure they'd love to see you and Natsuki."
'It's a little too soon for that, Mother." Shizuru said firmly.
"Maybe in a few weeks. It will depend on how Natsuki's recovery progresses."
They said goodbye then and hung up.
Shizuru felt so much better for having talked to her mother, not quite so alone.
It will be all right, she told herself as she got ready for bed that night.
It has to be . . .
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