Oh, boy, the last episode... Right after I've watched it for the first time, I was mad with Ford and his actions, and I didn't know how I was going to write him. Should I address the Apocalypse in this fic? Should I keep the continuity out of this fic, at least for now? How am I going to look at my nerdy Stanford after what he said?
But then came various analyzes of Ford's behavior and - although, I can still see his faults - I'm a bit more optimistic about him. And a fellow friend, obssessedwithwriting, pointed out that Ford was calmly accepting the fate of being taken to some alien prison, and she even asked what happened to him.
So I was thinking about Ford's rediness to sacrifice himself for the rest of the world and what Bill said to him ("You'll slip up and when you do...") and I decided to write this fic about Stanford's fear of the Weirdgeddon and failure.
And it even contains my interpretation of why Ford didn't tell anyone about the rift, beside Dipper.
His responsibility
Ever since they Bill-proofed the Shack, Ford had a very disturbing dream. This dream usually went like this:
He was facing Bill once again. They were standing in the middle of the forest and the dream demon was holding the rift in his hand. He laughed maniacally for a few seconds before suddenly stopping and floating slowly in Ford's direction.
"Hey, Sixer, look what I've found."
Most of the time Ford was saying something along the lines of: "Give it back!" or: "How did you get that?!", even though he knew there was no use of doing that at this point. Nevertheless, Bill was always giving the same answer:
"Let's just say that you didn't guard it very well, IQ."
And then Bill threw the rift on the ground, causing the glass globe to shutter into pieces. It created a hole in the reality that was sucking everything around them. For some strange reason Ford himself wasn't sucked, but he was watching with horror as the sky became blood red and trees were disappearing in the void of another dimension.
"Oh, you were trying so hard," Bill kept taunting. "but I told you, you will finally slip up. After all, isn't it always like that? You're fucking up really big and somebody suffers because of it."
Then the scientist saw the twins flying right through the hole, screaming and calling their great uncle Ford for help. But he couldn't do anything. He couldn't even reach for them or go after them, because, for some reason, he didn't move from his spot. Then the twins were followed by Fiddleford, Mabel's friends, Soos, Wendy and – in the end – Stanley.
But before Stanley got sucked in, he caught the nearest tree and looked at Ford with despise and coldness.
"I knew, your science-y stuff were trouble! I knew I should never let you near the kids! Look what you have done, poindexter! We're doomed because of you!"
Finally his grip weakened and Stan – just like everyone else – disappeared in the hole. Bill was laughing and Ford was standing in the middle of the forest, watching the destruction he subsequently caused.
This was generally the moment when Stanford was waking up. In the darkness of the night, he could see the accusatory look on his twin's face. He could hear Stanley's voice and the kids' voices calling Ford for help. And he felt a strange heaviness in his chest, recalling the events of this nightmare.
The Bill in this dream… it was just a figment of Ford's imagination. The scientist was sure of it, because: a) he Bill-proofed the shack, and b) usually when Bill was getting into Ford's mind, the man could feel it. This feeling was hard to describe, the closest way to do it, was saying that Bill's presence had certain… sensation. It had weight and radiation. You always knew, he was in your head. And during these nightmares Ford didn't notice any of those signs. So it wasn't a real Bill. It was just a product of Ford's mind.
Ford knew that this nightmare was what he would see in Gremoblin's eyes. Funny thing was that when he learned about Bill's real plans, he wasn't as terrified of the supposed End of the World, as he was now. Sure, he wanted desperately to prevent it and he went through extreme lengths to do it (even though, there were also things he was hesitant to do, like dismantling the portal), but comparing it to the fear he felt now, it was nothing.
And when he was sucked through the portal, he eventually reconciled with the thought that he won't come back. Because it was better that way. If portal was used to bring him back, it would be an Apocalypse.
His life or return from banishment wasn't worth the Apocalypse.
During those thirty years of jumping through various dimensions, Ford became aware of how vast universe was. He encountered some horrible things he wished to forget more than anything. He experienced sorrow, suffering and fear. He learned that other intelligent species also could be cruel, especially to something they didn't quite understand. Many times Ford was realizing that he could count only on himself and he had to fight for his survival.
But he also had seen breathtaking landscapes, advanced civilizations with knowledge he only dreamed of; astonishing flora and fauna. Both as a scientist and as a human being, he had lot of opportunities to be fascinated by new sights and experiences.
And in the moment of solitude and peace, when he could just sit and marvel at the wonders before him, he was sometimes coming to conclusion that he was just a dust in this big and diverse universe. He had been born, he was living his life and one day he will die, while all the things he saw, will be still going, undisturbed by his absence.
In the grand scheme of things he, Stanford Pines, meant nothing.
Either way, back then, thirty years ago, he wasn't so afraid of possibility of Nightmare Realm coming to his world. But now… Now, he was scared of it more than anything in his life. Because now he actually had something to lose.
Stanley brought him back to his dimension.
Bad news – by doing so, he put the world in danger and he was lucky that Stanford was the only one coming through that blasted machine.
Good news – Stanford had a family again. After thirty years of being completely on his own, far away from home – from Ma, Pa, Shermy and Stan – he had a family – a brother, a niece and nephew. For the first time in thirty years he felt how it's like to have people, who cared for him. And he grew to care for his new family really quickly too. Maybe there were still issues between him and his brother… but the twins were amazing. Mabel was sweet and energetic, and always knew what to say or do. And Dipper… Dipper had this enthusiasm for mysteries and he loved Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons, and… he was a kindred spirit.
Ford just loved their company. It was so refreshing to have someone, who was genuinely wishing him well and didn't want to deceive him. He wanted to astonish Mabel, he wanted to play with Dipper, he wanted to make them smile and laugh.
It would be a shame if something happened to these innocent children, eh, IQ? – The taunting voice of imagined Bill was saying. – Oh, Dipper is looking up to you. And Mabel, sweet, trusting Mabel… she likes you too. But you know, you will make a mistake eventually and when you do…
The perspective of losing his family was more terrifying to Ford than losing the whole world. Because he was so lonely all those thirty years and he thought that he will stay lonely for the rest of his life, but then he was back home, he met the twins and he wasn't lonely anymore.
Besides, he was an old man. They were only twelve and had a whole life before them. And Ford wished to see them grow up.
He had to prevent the Weirdgeddon at all cost. He had to make sure that Bill won't come into this dimension. Because if he did, he would probably go after Stan and the twins, and do horrible things to them. Not because he held grudge against Ford and wanted revenge, but because he would find hurting Ford's family amusing.
The portal was dismantled (funny, how he was eager to do it, when thirty years ago he dismissed Fiddleford's suggestion). The rift was secured. Ford was always keeping an eye on it and the shack was Bill-proofed with unicorn hair.
But it didn't mean that he was at ease.
The fact was that his mind was running through various scenarios when something went wrong, bringing The End of The World. The rift gets dropped. The rift is stolen. The rift is mistaken for a snow globe and taken to a gift shop…
He had to look for the rift day and night. He had to be sure that it was kept away from prying eyes of strangers. After all, the less people knew about it, the better. Ford firmly believed that he was the only one capable of protecting the rift. Well, he and Dipper. If the story with mind reading machine proved anything about the boy, it was that Dipper will go even against his own great uncle to keep the rift away from Bill. Overall, Ford didn't regret putting his trust in the kid.
Either way, the rift was the safest in his basement.
Sometimes Ford wondered if he should tell Stan about it. Maybe it would be better if he informed his twin brother about the danger… But then he was coming to conclusion that if he did it, he would have to tell Stan the whole story about Bill, portal and how Stan's supposedly smarter twin fell into demon's sweet talk. And this confession would open a whole new can of worms. Stanford could imagine Stanley's reaction to the news that there was probably a dangerous artifact in their basement. And it would be perfectly understandable – after all, Stan would want to protect the kids. However, he probably wouldn't listen to reason, he would demand for the rift to be removed or destroyed, or just taken as far away from Mystery Shack as possible.
And he would probably also demand for Ford to stay away from the kids. Because his brother was dangerous to the twins, and Stan didn't want them in danger. (It was quite admirable, really. The thing his brother could do to protect his family…)
No, telling Stan would be a mistake. And telling Mabel was out of the question because she would probably tell Stan.
Besides, the rift was Ford's responsibility. He had to keep it safe. He had to make sure that the Weirdgeddon won't happen. He could share this secret with Dipper, because Dipper could understand the situation better than anyone else… but ultimately this was the way Ford was going to protect his family. He would die doing so, if necessary. He was expandable, after all.
But no matter how many times he was looking at the rift and reminding himself about all the ways he secured the shack from Bill, he could still hear demon's jeers:
You'll slip up and when you do… things change.
