Dear kate,
I know you asked me not to go after you and I won't, at least not right now. But I just couldn't let your letter unanswered. You said you love me. Do you have any idea how much I waited to her you say that? How much I dreamed about it? You said you love me and now you ask me to leave you alone. But I can't. I love you, Kate. I can't stop loving you and God knows I've tried.
But when I found out you remembered… It hurt Kate. I was hurt because I thought you didn't share my feelings and didn't want me to be embarrassed. I was hurt because I love you so and I thought you didn't love me back. And I couldn't bear the thought of having to live watching someone else break your wall. So I tried to move on. I tried to forget you, I've tried to replace you. But I couldn't. I couldn't because everywhere I looked I would see you. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, your laugh… Only you. I couldn't because no one ever made me feel the way you do. So I came back. I came back because there's no other place I would rather be. The heart wants what the heart wants Kate, and mine is pleading for you. My heart screams your name so loud I don't know how you couldn't hear it.
If I can forgive you? My love, I never had a chance. You were fighting against your ghosts and I should've seen that. Now the question is: can you forgive me? Can you forgive me for being selfish and not giving you your space, not respecting your insecurity, your need for time?
It's not too late Kate. It's never too late. Not for us. You didn't wait too long, but God knows you waited long enough. You're still my inspiration, my one writer girl, my muse. You always will be. So please don't push me away again. Please don't build yet another wall between us. Please let's give us a chance. Please Kate, let me love you as I always wanted to. Let me SHOW you what we can be together.
I love you Kate. Always. Let's be partners in crime and in life. Let's risk it Kate. Let's not look back in life and wonder "If only…". Not when it's about us. Let's try, shall we? Let's not wait another moment. Now the question is: can you do it? Are you willing to risk it? Because I am. When it's about us, my dear, I'm willing to beat the odds.
Always,
R.C.
