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He had seen the twinkle in her eye as she had poured the first drink. He had chosen to ignore it. His drink of choice at home was 150 proof. Hers smelled like peaches. But here he was, choking as if she had fed him a chicken bone. And there she was pouring herself another round. He tilted his head and looked at her.
"Did your daddy know you had this?" he asked, teasing.
She smiled and leaned in closer. "My daddy made this," she said as she took the second shot. "You done? Two is enough for me. Lasts longer that way."
"Your father made moonshine?" Gibbs said, looking around. "Here?"
She nodded and Gibbs laughed. "Not a bad gig if you can get it. Not a bad gig at all," he said as he stood and reached for her hand. She allowed herself to be pulled up. She took his glass and the bottle of 'shine and put them back in their spots. She took Gibbs hand and jumped to the floor. He had his back to the workbench, leaning against it and she turned to press her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned her head to rest in the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes and inhaled. There it was again. The pure scent of Gibbs. And sawdust. Sawdust and Gibbs. His arms tightened around her and she felt herself melt into him. This was where she needed to be. His arms were safe and protective.
This was it, he thought. The bastard moment. He had to let her go. He knew that eventually she would want more from him than he could give. She would want commitment. A ring. A little Gibbs. Shannon and Kelly still haunted his thoughts everyday. So what if he hadn't moved on. He didn't have to. He had tried. And failed. Again and again. He had tried marrying again to fill the void but it had never worked. He had tried dating again and it usually worked out in the beginning. But when they started pushing, he pushed away. It wasn't Lizzy's fault. She wasn't going to understand that. He liked Lizzy. Elizabeth. Agent Edwards. He liked her more than any of the others, ex wives included, and he had married them. He liked her almost enough to want to find out where she might take him. Where the untraveled road would lead. He tensed slightly thinking about how this might affect them at work. But she was a professional, like him. They knew the rules. They would handle it. Now… where to begin?
Lizzy had felt the man behind her tense slightly. Here it comes, she thought. The I-don't-think-we-can-do-this-because-I'm-a-bastard speech. She'd heard about from Tony. She just had to beat him to the punch.
"Lizzy," he said in a low voice, close to her ear.
She turned to look at him, making sure his arms never left her waist. "Gibbs."
He opened his mouth to speak but she started first. In her best Gibbs voice, she spoke.
"Lizzy, I'm a bastard. That's just how it is. This thing between us, no matter how intense, just can't work. It'll be good at first, hell, probably spectacular, but I'll start pushing you away and you'll get pissed and end up hating me. So if I end it now, we might be able to salvage a small piece of friendship out the whole mess."
Gibbs stared at her. How had she known, he thought. And she had nailed it. Almost word for word, inflection, tone, and facial expression. She'd been spending too much time with Abby.
She smiled at him. "How'd I do?"
All he could do was shake his head. She leaned in and kissed him. Her lips were warm. He felt his resolve weakening. She pulled away slightly, but remained close.
"Lizzy, I—" he said but was cut off.
"No."
"No?"
"Let me lay it out for you, Gibbs," she said as she tightened her grip around him. "I, me, the person standing in front of you right now, do not want a commitment. I don't want to date. I don't want a ring, and I sure as hell don't want a house key."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Ok so the key thing would be pointless. This," and she paused to point between herself and Gibbs, "is good. It's intense, it's insane, it's passion. I'm not gonna push you. I'm not gonna call you every night to talk. I'm not gonna pass you notes in study hall. I'm not gonna ask you to love me."
He opened his mouth but she stopped him.
"When you need me, you'll find me. When I need you, you'll be there. I'm not going to want more, Gibbs, because right now, more is not something you can give me."
His mind was spinning. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to cuss him, send him out the door and come Monday, throw him evil stares across the bullpen. Or pay Ziva to throw something other than stares. But she hadn't swore, or handed him his coat, or even slapped his face. She had said she understood. Not directly but she had made it clear. Was this really gonna work, he thought. He didn't know if could do this. He had spent the day preparing for it to end. He had fought with himself to the point of insanity. This woman had gotten to him. Gotten to him in a way that he hadn't felt since he was waiting for that train back in Stillwater. He had already started the blockade in his mind to prevent the thoughts of the previous night from filtering through. He looked at her. Stared at her. She smiled at him.
"So is that a yes?"
"It sure as hell isn't a no," he said, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her to the workbench. She was now eyelevel with him. She parted her legs and he moved to stand between them, his hands resting on her hips. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She looked at him, catching something in his eyes.
"This will work, Jethro."
"Ya think, Edwards?"
"Actually I was lying." Gibbs heart skipped a beat. What? What had she just said? Lying? He tensed in her arms.
"Yea. You see, I've heard that relationships based on intense circumstances never work out."
He gulped and took a deep breath, meeting her eyes but was surprised to see laughter in them. He took a chance.
"Really?" he said wondering what was so funny.
"No not really. Haven't you ever seen Speed? Sandra Bullock, Keanu? Shoot the hostage? Pop quiz, hotshot? Bomb on bus?"
Now he really was confused. What the hell was she talking about?
"It's a movie Gibbs. You've never heard 'shoot the hostage, take him out of the equation'?"
"No but it sounds like something I'd say."
"That's just what I was thinking. The line about the relationship was from that movie. Never mind. No more movie quotes, I promise."
"Sure thing, DiNozzo," he said as he leaned in and captured her lips with an intensity he didn't know he possessed. She deepened the kiss, and he was lost to her. He wanted her now. He needed her now. He ripped his lips away from hers and looked around the old garage. Now he was the one with the twinkle in his eyes.
***
"So when was the last time you had a home cooked meal, Jethro?" Lizzy asked as she walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.
"1975, 76," he said as he walked slowly around the house, picking up a photo here, a knickknack there.
A dish towel sailed through the air and landed a direct hit to his head.
"Hey. I wasn't kidding," he said as he threw the towel back. She pulled it out of the air and dropped it to the counter. She pulled out potatoes, onions, meat, and a variety of herbs and spices.
"Well I guess if we're gonna be 'not dating', you'd better get used to the idea of eating in."
He came into the kitchen as she was beginning to peel the potatoes. "What can I do?" he asked, pulling up a chair next to her at the table.
"The onions. Peel, cut, and slice."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each intent on the task at hand. A buzzing noise sounded and Lizzy looked up from her potatoes.
"Is that mine or yours?" she asked.
"Mine or yours what?" Gibbs asked, looking irritated that the noise was continuing.
"Phone, Gibbs. Phone. Mines on vibrate. I bet you can't guess where I keep it when I'm driving," she said, winking at him. She got up from the table, wiping her hands, searching for the phone. The buzzing stopped. It started again, seconds later. She located the phone on the coffee table and looked at the front screen.
"It's DiNozzo," she said, motioning him to be quiet.
"Home of the Whopper. What's your beef?" she said smiling at Gibbs from the living room. He chuckled to himself and took over her potato peeling.
"Gibbs? No, I haven't seen him. Why?" she asked as she walked back into the kitchen and came to stand behind his chair. "Did you try his cell? Hmmm. Must have it turned off."
She leaned over his left side and pressed herself against his back. Still talking to Tony, she started kissing Gibbs neck and ear, and running her hand down the expanse of his chest.
"Yea, he drove me home but he didn't stick around. Probably at home working on a boat. Yup. If I hear from him I will tell him to call you."
She snapped the phone shut and pressed one last kiss to his pulse point. "You need to call Tony."
He turned in his chair and pulled her onto his lap. "Is it important?" he questioned, as he leaned in for a kiss.
"Um, well…he apparently got wind of another harassment meeting or sensitivity training or something he knew you would want to avoid."
"And?"
"And I think he assumes you will find a way out of it."
"I always do," he said.
He watched Lizzy as she moved about the kitchen, trying to think back to exactly how long it had been since a woman had cooked for him. He remembered how Shannon used to stand at the stove, humming to herself. God, he missed her. Every day. He tried not to think about it, tried not to let it interfere with his daily routine but every day brought a new reminder. Always something different. A woman on the street flipping her hair the same way she did. A little girl walking hand in hand with her dad. A word. A look. The look in someone's eyes. Every day brought a new memory. Lately he'd spent more time staring at their pictures than he wanted to admit. He felt withdrawn from the world. But Lizzy changed that. He made the decision to be with her. He didn't regret that decision but he did regret knowing that she couldn't have all of him. He just couldn't find a way to move forward. It wasn't fair. It hadn't been fair to the ex-wives, to Jenny, or to Hollis. And now it wasn't fair to Lizzy. But what was it she had said? 'I'm not going to want more because more is not something you can give me'. How had she known? None of the others had ever given him that out. But she shouldn't have to give him an out. He didn't deserve one. But she had given it to him whether he deserved it or not. And she was young. Too young to be tied to him. Too young to be with a man who couldn't give her everything she deserved. She deserved a man who would love her. But again, he thought, she had told him she didn't want love. What kind of woman didn't want love? Another out. She had given him another out.
He got up from his chair and walked over to stand behind her as she cooked. She felt his warmth immediately and turned her head towards him for a kiss. He moved his hands across her back and felt her relax under his touch.
"Smells incredible. What is it?"
"Calvin Klein Euphoria," she said with a grin as she turned in his arms to face him. He raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, you meant the food," she said teasingly. " Italian herb and cheese crusted pork loin, fried potatoes and onions and biscuits."
"Now that's a home cooked meal," Gibbs said, leaning in to kiss her neck. "Mmmm, you do smell good.
"I taste even better."
"Scratch that," Gibbs said after a long, searching kiss. "That's a home cooked meal."
A/N: Still ain't done yet…
