Now I knew about Lewis, I seemed to notice the evidence of him everywhere. Every so often, I'd see a framed picture of us somewhere or a little 'L' inked by a cluster of hearts in the back of my planner.
Seeing my own writing made everything feel slightly more real. It made me think that it was actually me that had done that. It scared me, though, that I had no idea I'd done it.
It made me hungry for more. That night I searched my drawers for traces of evidence, anything, but they were all so neat and there were no random scraps of paper.
That was what I thought until I found the office in my apartment. I swung open the huge bureau and found piles of neatly stacked papers. A stack of pink paper automatically caught my eye. I removed the paper clip and began to read.
Hey Claudine! I'm writing this on the plane! OMG, can you believe I'm actually on my way to Australia! I've never, like, been out of Europe before. I'm writing you all letters and then when I land I'm going to post them! I'm sooo excited but being on the plane is totally boring. I talked to Stefan for the first five hours, but then he went to sleep. I'd like to be able to, like, go to sleep as well but I can't because I'm so totally excitedamoungus! Anyway, I have to go because my hand hurts, but I pinky promise as soon as we get to Sydney I'll write again and send you an address, when I actually know, like what the address for Stefan's flat is. Stefan says 'hi'! Well, he didn't actually but I'm sure if I told him I was doing this he'd say hi. So, like, yeah. I miss you! Byee.
Lola xxx =]
I couldn't help but smile. The letter was dated July 21st. I went through the pieces of paper, choosing another one to read at random. It was dated September 14th.
Hey Claudine! OMG, it's nearly Christmas! Aren't you, like, totally excited? I'm not sure what we're doing yet, but I hope it's something fun. This'll be my first Christmas with Stefan! Christmas is, like, so fantastible. Btw, I know I haven't written since, like, forever. I'm sorry. But the last two letters I wrote you didn't reply to, so yeah. Jez says he hasn't heard from you. I bought your new album the other day! It's, like, total fabulosity. We're all super proud of you. And me and Stefan are thinking of getting cats, when we move house! Wouldn't that be, like, so awesome? I love cats! Anyway, I have to go because we're going out for dinner. I hope I'll write to you again soon, but I'm not sure if I will do because, like, I think there's something wrong with the post because you never reply to my letters.
Lola xxx =]
I paused. Why hadn't I been replying to Lola? I went through the pile and got to 'February 22nd 2009' but they stopped after that. I searched through the letters until I found what I'd been looking for: a phone number. I found my own phone and dialled it, waiting. I felt surprisingly comfortable.
"Hey! It's, like, Lola. Ok so I'm not here right now or I just didn't, like, answer the phone and stuff but please leave your name and, like, number after the toad and I'll call you! Bye, have a nice day!"
Her voice sounded even sunnier than usual, I smiled as I heard it. I was glad Lola hadn't grown up. I waited for the beep.
"Hi, Lola. It's Claudine. I know you probably haven't heard from me for quite a long time but I really need your help. If you could call me…" I remembered the time difference. "If you could call me or text me or something, it would be great. I need to know some numbers, email addresses, whatever of people from Britannia High; you know Jez, BB, and Lauren. Danny. Thanks a lot. And I hope you're ok, and everything. We should really catch up soon. Bye, babe."
I hung up, and then headed to my bedroom. I slipped into a pair of silky dark pink and black pyjamas, and then got into bed.
I turned out the light and lay in bed for a while. I thought about my last night before all this, the night before the end of year show at Mrs Troy's. I'd been worrying about Lauren, after just telling Danny about her risk of having MS.
I was determined to find a place for my friends from BH in my life again. I wanted us all to be together again, just for a day even. Being presented with this new, glamorous life was amazing but I didn't want to lose all traces of my old one.
So I was going to find my friends.
For now, I shut my eyes tight, knowing how long it would be before I could sleep.
