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It wasn't as if he was jealous. Well, maybe a little jealous but he would never admit that out loud to anyone. Especially to Daryl. Daryl had been his best friend, his brother, since they were kids and besides, it was just a little crush and didn't mean anything. Absolutely no one had to ever know about it.

Still though, Daryl was the most observant guy he had ever met – if the guy was a detective, he'd be the best on the force – and sometimes, he could hardly meet Daryl's eyes because he was just so sure that Daryl could take one look at him and just know what sometimes went on through his head. But he figured that if Daryl did know or even suspected something, he would kindly punch him in the eye and tell him to stop coming around.

But since neither of those things ever happened, he thought that maybe his secret was safe.

Rick tried to think of reasons as to why he had a crush on Beth Dixon though he supposed it was all rather obvious. Beth was the kindest, sweetest person who always had a warm smile for anyone who crossed her path. She was almost painfully shy, but once she was comfortable around a person and able to open up, they were gifted with laughs and silly jokes and sweet songs. She lived with Daryl in their little trailer in the woods and made it warm and inviting and always opened the door to any visitor they received. And most of all, she was absolutely and head over heels in love with her husband.

He knew that that's where the jealousy came from. He had once thought he had all of that. He thought he had a good marriage and a happy life and a wife who loved him. But everything fell apart and Rick still wasn't too sure when the hell it had all happened. He and Lori tried to stay together because of Carl and Judith but he had his room and she had her room and they seemed to only come together for school events or one of Carl's soccer games. It wasn't a marriage anymore. It wasn't much of anything anymore and each day, Rick would wonder why the hell he didn't file the papers already. He was pretty sure he wasn't in love with her anymore and Lori sure as hell didn't love him anymore. And growing up in a miserable house wouldn't do his two kids any favors later down the road.

He was already imagining the therapy bills.

Rick would go to Dale's garage to see if Daryl wanted to grab some lunch at least two times a week. Beth worked in the office and she beamed every time she saw Rick step through the door as if it had been months since their last meeting.

Beth was young and pretty and the goodness of her on the inside just shone to the outside. Rick would wager she was the prettiest girl in their town though she would definitely argue that if he was ever to say that to her. She had definitely changed in her relationship with Daryl and had gotten better and stronger – and healthier as well – but she still had much doubt in herself and he supposed with everything she had already been through in her life, that was only natural.

Sometimes, she would come with them but other times, she would stay behind and eat the lunch she packed from home and smile teasingly at them both, telling them to enjoy their boy time. And Daryl would smirk a little and lean in and kiss her forehead and Rick would watch as Beth closed her eyes every single time with the most serene smile across her lips. And Rick would feel a hot spike in his stomach as he watched them because he didn't know if Lori had ever looked like that when he kissed her even before she cheated on him.

They usually went to Rhee's Pizza for a slice or down the street to the diner for burgers and every time, it was the same. Daryl would ask how it was going and Rick would just sigh. What the hell could he say? His marriage was over and he and Lori both knew it and he had no idea what to do next.

Daryl did his best to offer advice though he had never been comfortable giving it and was never too sure what to say about the situation. Before Beth, Daryl hadn't had much experience with women or relationships and now, with Beth, he still didn't have that much advice to give. After all, he was happily married and in love with his wife who loved him in return and this was the best his life had ever been. And Rick couldn't think of a guy who deserved this happiness more.

Rick didn't know why this was so hard for him. He knew what he had to do and yet, he couldn't make himself do it. Maybe because when he married Lori, he expected to be married to her for the rest of his life.

He sometimes stopped at the trailer where Daryl and Beth lived early on Saturday mornings after his night shift and he and Daryl would have cups of coffee and Beth would wake up and make them all breakfast though both Daryl and Rick told her that she didn't have to. She just always smiled and brushed them off and made them all plates heaping with scrambled eggs and bacon anyway.

They would sit at the small table, Rick on one side and Daryl and Beth sitting together on the other side and Rick couldn't help but look at Beth as they ate – though he made damn sure he wasn't obvious about it. She usually wore one of Daryl's flannel shirts to bed to sleep in but whenever he came over for coffee, she would pull on a pair of pajama pants and no matter how warm it was outside, she would usually pull on a zipped hooded sweatshirt, too. Beth was always cold and she liked to tease Daryl that that was the only reason she married him. She swore he ran a couple degrees warmer than most and he was her own personal furnace. And Daryl smirked whenever she said this and would wrap his arms around her and bring her in close to him.

And maybe that's why he was jealous of Daryl and had a little crush on Beth. Rick missed all of that. The teasing and affection and the level of ease between two people who were completely comfortable around one another. Maybe he missed having a woman who looked at him like he had just plucked a star down from the sky just for her. Maybe he missed having a woman who kissed him and held him close and couldn't imagine living her life if he wasn't living it with her.

After they were done eating, Daryl always told Beth he'd wash the dishes and she'd smile and kiss him on the cheek and told them she was going to take a quick shower. Daryl and Rick would head outside and Daryl would light a cigarette, never smoking in the trailer.

This morning, it was cool and damp and smelled like more rain was going to be falling soon. The woods where they lived were quiet. Just chirps of birds and the wind rustling the trees.

Rick let out a sigh. "Better get home."

And he sounded reluctant even though his kids were there and he still loved those kids more than life. He may not love their mother anymore but that had nothing to do with Carl and Judith. He may have failed as a husband but he'd be damned if he failed as a father, too.

"Thanks for breakfast," he said, looking back to Daryl.

"Any time," Daryl gave him a head nod. "Rosita's comin' this afternoon for a visit. Maybe the four of us could go out to eat or somethin'," he then suggested.

Rick nodded his own head. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"What do you think of Rosita?" Daryl asked.

Rick looked at him with a raised eyebrow and studied him for a moment. Was Daryl actually making an attempt at matchmaking? That seemed unlikely. This had to be Beth.

Still, he paused and thought of the question. Rosita was Beth's best friend and her complete opposite. She was loud and energetic and was the sort who loved having attention on her. She had scars from where she had cut herself over the years but she never shied away when she saw people notice them. The scars were a part of who she was. Beth had her own scar, deep and long on the inside of her wrist, that was always covered with bracelets. That scar was a part of Beth, too, but she wasn't as open as Rosita. Rosita seemed as if she was a girl who had no secrets. She was very much an open book.

And Rick had to admire that because for so long, he had had too many secrets in his life.

"I don't really know her, but I'd like to go out to eat with her and change that," Rick decided and that made Daryl's lips twitch a little before he took another drag of his cigarette.

"Good," Daryl nodded. "Anythin' to get you to stop starin' after my wife."

Rick's eyes widened at that and his mouth fell open. He tried to think of what to say. He had to say something to Daryl. He had to apologize and wanted to ask how Daryl knew of his stupid pointless crush but his mouth fell open and he wasn't able to make a sound.

And Daryl let out a short laugh. An actual laugh and he shook his head again.

"I don't blame you," was all he said before he dropped his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out completely with his boot. "See you later for dinner," he then said before turning and heading back inside, the door closing behind him.

Rick stood there for another minute before he was able to shake his head at him and finally move towards his car. He felt another spike of jealousy. Daryl was so confident and sure of his wife's love and loyalty for him, he wasn't threatened when another guy looked at her. Rick knew it was time he found a woman he could believe in that much for himself since Beth Dixon was obviously very much off the market. Hell, even before she was Daryl's wife, she was never really on the market. Rick knew the first time Daryl looked at Beth, that was it. She was his as much as he was hers.

Rick sighed, sliding behind the wheel of his car. He really missed belonging to someone. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror and he scratched at his cheek. He wondered if Rosita would like the beard or if he should shave.


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