Sorry! I know this chapter took me a while to update, but I have been ridiculously busy in my real life! So I added some smut near the end and redemption, hopefully it was worth the wait! ;)

I haven't had a chance to edit or spellcheck this yet, but I decided not to delay it anymore, I promise to edit it really soon, pinky swear.


Throughout the week, Madeline's lullaby, became a common sound around the flat with Sherlock composing and recording it continuously. He had had a few minor cases, but just things he could solve quickly, whether it be by looking at a picture of the crime scene or examining a body. He was getting frustrated now though, it had been over two week without anything higher than maybe a four, Sherlock had a case of cabin fever.

Sherlock was eating less, sleeping less, just in general doing less. It was starting to scare John, he knew that Sherlock was almost always malnurished, but this was edging on starvation. His cheek bones were looking sharper than usual and on the rare occasion he was choosing to shower, John could almost see his hip bones, as for his ribs, well they were always there. Being a doctor John knew what Sherlocks body was doing, eating away what ever it could, starting with fat and then on muscle, being a scientist, Sherlock knew it too.

John tried to get him to eat whenever he could whether it be a biscut with tea or a bit of pasta from his takeaway, John seriously tried. But what could he do, Sherlock was a grown, though slightly immature man, and despite what others may think, John didn't have that kind of power over him.

As far as he knew, no one knew about their romantic relationship, they had been hiding it quite well, or so he thought, many people still asked and still assumed, though both John and Sherlock had stopped denying it, neither had actually confirmed it. John was fairly sure Mycroft already knew, but was just deciding to keep it to himself. Really when he thought about it, with the frequency he had them tailed, how could he not. Heck, Tom had been in their apartment only a few weeks ago, if he heard anything, he was sure to tell Mycroft.


Sherlock was sitting in his chair while Maddy played with some blocks on the floor. She was so smart, everyday she learned something new, especially with the crazy books Sherlock had started to read to her. The other day John had come out of the kitchen, and found him reading her a book on recently discovered tribes in the amazon. Luckily she was picking up more of John's traits than Sherlock's.

John sat down on the floor next to Maddy, he still wasn't sleeping well but he was getting more adjusted, as was the little girl, she was almost sleeping through the night again and she was more used to the flat. John had discovered a park just over one street and he had already found a play school for when he went back to the surgery. They were all starting to settle into the crazy life that had become their routine.

"Dad, play!" She squealed, rolling some of the bright coloured blocks in his direction. "Sherbrock is play?" She asked as she looked toward John, then at Sherlock and back at John.

"Oh honey..." John went to say as saw Sherlock put his book down, and (surprisingly) leave his chair to join them on floor. John just gaped as he saw Sherlock maneuver his ridiculously long legs into a somewhat natural position.

"Oh shut up, John, It's not that ludicrous to see me playing with a child." Sherlock said rolling his eyes.

"No. Mean Sherbrock." Maddy said, standing up, taking full advantage of her height.

"Yes Sherlock, that wasn't very nice, and not something we want Maddy here, catching on to."

"Fine, all apologies." He said with a dramatic twirl of his hand. Watching carefully as she sat back down and continued playing.

"And more to the point I didn't actually say anything and it was just shocking, that's all." John said passing a yellow and blue brick to the little girl.

"Just because you weren't there, it doesn't mean that I didn't have a childhood." Sherlock said, as sarcastically as he could.

John just looked at Sherlock and tried to think about him as a child, his dark curls falling in the same ways Maddy's did, him and Mycroft growing up, even what his parents were like. John had never met his parents and from the little he and Mycroft said about them, he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"You're right, I guess it's not to crazy to think about you as a child, strange, but not crazy." John said with a laugh.

The continued in quiet for a bit, with only Maddy's giggles to interrupt their thoughts. Every now and again, John would sneak a glance at Sherlock when he thought he wouldn't notice, but of course he did. But John didn't mind, he just wanted the chance to take him in, his long, slender frame, his mind always wrapped around a puzzle of one sort or another. John always thought his most beautiful attribute was his mind, even if he was an absolute git most of the time. Most people would say his face was his most beautiful thing about him, but most people didn't know the real Sherlock Holmes. They didn't see the smile in his eyes, or the kindness that resided in his heart, or even the loved ones he held dear. This was the Sherlock that was reserved for the people he cared for most.

John knew this version of Sherlock, the Sherlock who wasn't angry when he found out about Maddy, the Sherlock who loved John for the man he was, even with his imperfections, the Sherlock who was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, playing with his daughter. This is what John had come to see as the real Sherlock. Nothing like the papers or tabloids portrayed him, not the freak the officers at the yard thought he was, he definitely wasn't boring. He was the most interesting man John had ever met. John smiled as he saw Sherlock's eyes light up as the tall tower of blocks fell, crashing to the ground.

Instinctively, John leaned over so he was on his hands and knees, and kissed the great detective, forward and with a passion. John was surprised when Sherlock pulled him into his lap and continued the kiss, his hands roaming over his back.

"Ew! Daddy!" Maddy sqealed, making a sqaushed face at the sight of them.

Almost immediately they were pulled apart and John had a big grin on his face, while Sherlock looked mortified.

"Does Maddy want kisses?" John said, his hands now reaching at the little girl.

"No Daddy!" She giggled as John took her in his lap and smooshed sloppy kisses onto her cheeks.

"Sherbrock! Help!" She said trying to get away while still giggling.

"No you are mine now!" John said still tickling the little girl.

Suddenly Sherlock was standing and walking away. He was almost at his bedroom door when he heard a small voice behing him.

"Sherbrock, is you leaving?" The little girl as she tugged on he curls.

"Yes, but just for a little while. I'll be back before you know it." He said, smiling the saddest smile John had ever seen.

The little girl wandered over to her father and sat in his lap. She ran her fingers over his, moving along the lines of his scarred hands.

"Dad, Sherbrock is sad?" She asked quietly.

"I think he just might be." John replied holding her close as she moved up his arms.

"Why he not happy?" She continued.

"I don't know sweety, sometimes people are sad for no reason at all." He said kissing his lips to her cheek. He knew there was a reason behind Sherlock's unhappiness, but he couldn't think of a single one that warranted him getting up and leaving. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, I don't like Sherbrock sad." She said as she picked up a block from the floor.

"I know, I don't like it when he is sad either." John said, his mind moving onto other thoughts. "Why don't we go and get him some ice cream, maybe that will cheer him up." John said, moving the little girl off his lap so he could stand up.

"Ice cream, Daddy?" Ice cream!" The little girl sang as John put on her shoes and coat. Maddy was always so happy, always singing or dancing or smiling or all of the above. Even as the left the flat, she was singing all the way down the stairs.


Both Maddy and John were gone when Sherlock finally peeked out of his door. He had wondered where they had gone, but only for a minute. He couldn't help but be grateful for the silence, even if it was only for a little while. It seemed like there was always noise, whether it be inside or outside his own mind. The only times there was silence around him was either at night or when everyone was gone, that was why he had started sleeping even less than normal, he just needed a rest from the commotion that was constantly running in his head.

He had never found much of an escape, the two things that had kept him sane before John were drugs and sex, but he couldn't exactly use those forms of release now, without hurting John and he knew that. Unless he could somehow seduce John. But was it too soon? It was a question Sherlock had been struggling with for sometime, when would be the right time to reignite the relationship between them.

He couldn't be sure of anything with John. He understood motives, he understood emotions, he understood human interactions, but he didn't understand his relationships. He could deduct any person in his life, but he didn't know how to show them his love. He didn't want to scare John off before they had cemented anything. John was the most important person in his life, both platonically and romantically. Before John he was a mind and an empty shell, just waiting for something to take hold of him, now he was so much more. He was happier and his mind felt lighter as if it wasn't just his load to bear.

Within moments he heard the door open and shut, as well as footsteps headed up the stairs to John's room. Sherlock was soon out of his room and following the footsteps upstairs, like a lost puppy. When he made it to John's room, Maddy was already asleep in her cot and he was just laying on the bed with one hand behind his head.

"Hey." John said casually as Sherlock laid down beside him. "Are you alright?"

Sherlock looked the doctor over, analyzing and observing every bit of him. From his light blonde hair and his sky blue eyes to his muscular build and strong arms. John was wearing Sherlock's sweater which was obviously tight in some places and a bit too long for his shorter frame, with a pair of his favorite slacks. It was nothing special, but to Sherlock, he couldn't look more tempting.

Suddely Sherlock was on top of him, kissing him. Not a peck but a deep strong kiss that could only be compared to their first kiss. John was soon kissing back and rutting against him. It seemed like both of them had been waiting for this for far too long. John rolled them so he was on top of the taller man, in control. He quickly was stripped of the sweater when he realized that Maddy was still in the room.

"We can't do this here, I can't have sex with you when my daughter is right there." John said, leaving his hands resting on Sherlock's still covered chest.

"Ok, my room then, or the kitchen, or the living room, or the shower, anywhere you chose." Sherlock said as he caressed John's arm.

"Uh, right, okay, your room, I'll just grab somethings and meet you there, give me a moment." He said as he quietly climbed off the bed.

"Alright, don't keep me waiting." Sherlock said as he disappeared down the stairs.


John hadn't meant to keep him waiting for so long, he had meant to change quickly, grab the lube and race down. But for some reason the lube wasn't in its usual place, so he had to grab the spare they kept in the bathroom. Then when he went to change into his plushy robe, it wasn't there, so he ended up wearing a thin silky one of Sherlock's which seemed uncomfortably smooth against his bare skin. By the time he had actually made it to the other man's bedroom, he had been quite a while.

Sherlock had removed his clothes, piece by peice, carfully folding each article before laying it on his wardrobe and sitting down on his bed naked. But sitting like that made him feel over exposed, immodest even. So he grabbed a navy dressing gown off the hook and put that on at least there wouldn't be much to take off. While he waited he adjusted and readjusted and then he sat on the bed, and then laid down, bfore finally chosing a positon in the middle, almost a lounge. Had John changed his mind, he wondered. Just as he moved to go and find out where he had run off too, John opened the door.

Sherlock was both surprised and delighted to see him wearing another piece of his clothing. He smiled up at his solider as John moved in closer.

"Ah, sorry about this." He said, motioning to the slinky black dressing gown.

"No, it is fine." Sherlock said as pictures of John in various positions ran through his head.

John climbed onto Sherlock's high bed and resumed kissing him, rolling his finges down his arms. They melded together perfectly, as if they were both cast from the same mold. Sherlock slid his fingers under the dark silk, tugging it off John's shoulder, before he undid the loose tie at his waist.

His robe went on the floor, quickly followed by Sherlock's, leaving them both naked and on top of each other. As the kissed, John rutted his already hard cock against his lovers leg, leaving his hands to fondle any part of Sherlock they could find. John wiggled as he tried to find a better position until finally he was between Sherlock's legs.

"John, please!" He begged.

John quickly grabbed the lube from it's new home on the bedside table, and squeezed some onto his fingers. When he turned back, Sherlock already had his legs in the air and was ready and open. His first finger slid in easily past the knuckle, so he added another which made Sherlock moan. He moved his fingers in and out scissoring them as he went. Sherlocks whines only spurred him on to a third finger.

"No, I want you." He growled.

"Are you sure?" John asked.

Sherlock just rolled his eyes in response as if the question was completely off base. John ran his slicked fingers over his own erection, moaning as he finally felt the friction he had been craving, before he finally pushed in and felt Sherlock's warm heat embrace him. He could hardly stand the few mandatory seconds he had had to wait for him to adjust before he started thrusting in and out. Soon Sherlock was letting his own long fingers wrap around his growing shaft as John moved within him.

This is what they had both been waiting so patiently for and wanting for so long. Seeing John panting and watching as beads of sweat formed along his brow made Sherlock mad with temptation. He pulled on John's bronzed shoulders until he was close enough to use his lips and tongue in more than one pleasurable way.

"Oh god!" John muttered through a breathless whisp.

It was apparent that Sherlock felt the same way, as he rolled his hips and scratched along John's forearms. Withing moments Sherlock cried out in ectascy, climaxing as he tried to quiet his screams. Soon John was coming as well, leaning down and kissing Sherlock as he felt the toght coil in his belly release.

John flopped down beside his sticky mess of a lover and gently played with the few chest hairs that hadn't been singed off in some experiment involving one or many blowtorches.

"That was.." Sherlock breathed, still coming down from his high.

"And about time too!" John joked as he planted a kiss on his thin lips.

Sherlock stood up, quickly rummaging through a drawer of pj's.

"What are you up to?" He asked curiously.

"I am about to take a shower and I assumed if I wanted your company, I should at least find you a change of clothes so you don't have to go upstairs." He said as he flung pieces of clothing over his shoulder.

"You mean, I can sleep here tonight? " John asked, his heart a lit with hope.

"Of course, you git. I have been trying to get you into my bed (unsuccessfully) for a solid month now, you don't think I'm going to let you leave, do you?" Sherlock asked, with a mischievous gin playing out across his face.

John just smiled as he rose from the bed, took Sherlock's hand, and tugged him toward the bathroom, knowing full well what was about to happen next. Sherlock followed obediently, giving up on his search for proper pants for his John and taking up a better plan of action. Soon the door was shut and the water running, and that was just the way they wanted it.