Chapter Seven - The Lies That Bind Us

Becca was sitting awkwardly in the recliner that faced the bookshelf in the living room when Simon and Isabelle walked through the front door. Simon winced as she shot him a dark glance that seemed to radiate annoyance on more than one level. Simon hadn't really thought about what he was gong to say to her when they returned. He'd left the house immediately after she'd shown up with just a briefing of the supposed fire that occurred. She'd of course chastised him about their Mother's condition, and that she should have been taken to hospital, but Simon argued that she was perfectly all right. In truth, she was. Magnus said she would recover without memory of the incident. There were even papers to prove that the Police had been here. He just hoped that she didn't call the Police because then there would be another story to explain. It wasn't his main concern now anyway. The Seelie Queen had taken an interest in his Mother - a mundane - and he needed to know why.

"I don't know how you get yourself into these things, Simon," Becca snapped, launching herself off the chair towards Simon and Isabelle. Elaine Lewis was still sprawled out on the couch, asleep. Becca seemed to barely notice Isabelle as she swept by. "You're just lucky I happened to be nearby at the time. What was so important that you just had to run off and leave Mom like that?

Simon swallowed hard. He wasn't used to his sister being so defensive. "I just had some things to do, that's all."

"Some things?" Becca followed Simon into the kitchen, continuing to lash out at him. He deserved everything she had to say. "Our Mom was almost killed, and you had better things to do? What's gotten into you lately? Mom said you've been away on a bunch of school trips, but I saw your friend Eric down at Alto, and he said you hadn't been anywhere. Then there's a fire in the house, and you just leave Mom here! I mean what the hell, Simon!"

Isabelle spoke up for the first time since they'd entered the house. Simon felt her anger before she even spoke. "You might want to keep your voice down, Becca is it? A friend of ours saved your Mom's life tonight, and you owe that some respect. If it hadn't of been for him, and me, both Simon and your Mom would be dead. I swear if you raise your voice to Simon one more time, I will smack you like the selfish cow you are."

Simon's eyes widened, and for a brief moment the edges of his lips curled into a smile. Isabelle always had such nice things to say about people when she was mad. He knew that he should be offended that Isabelle had so forcibly insulted his sister, but he wasn't. He was actually proud of Isabelle for doing something he couldn't. Despite that momentary satisfaction, he was still in the wrong. Becca had every right to yell at him. He should never have come back home.

"Do I know you?" Becca spat back at Isabelle.

"No, but there's a size nine shoe that's going to get to know you real fast!"

Simon stepped in between his sister and Isabelle, bracing a hand on their shoulders. "That's enough." He winked at Isabelle so she would know he was on her side. She grinned in return. "Becca, the fire started in my room because of faulty wiring as the Police report says. The rest of the house barely got touched. They only boarded up the windows because they got cracked. Mom fell and cut her hands when she couldn't get in my room. I was unconscious. If Isabelle hadn't of come over, we would both be dead, and the house would be gone. That's what happened."

Simon had said it with intent. He watched as Becca's eyes grew softer with each word that tumbled so compellingly from his mouth, until even she believed the lie. With a huge sigh of relief, he leaned back against the counter.

"Simon? Becca?" Elaine Lewis had woken up upon hearing Simon arguing with his sister, and he kicked himself internally for disturbing her. She was on her feet, and through the kitchen door in a flash, poking them in the side, pinching their cheeks, and just doing an all over thorough job of making sure that they were both in one piece. Simon jerked away when she felt for a pulse. His Mother never batted an eyelash and just carried on with her examination. She didn't seem to remember anything unusual, thanks to Magnus. "I was so worried when I woke up. Is everything okay? There was a fire and I heard noises, then I fell…"

Simon pulled his mother into a gentle embrace. She was too disorientated to realize that he had no pulse, no heartbeat. He just wanted to make sure that she was real, and alive; happy and healthy. "Mom, we're all fine. My room is in a bit of a state, but I'll get it cleaned up."

Simon thought he heard a small whimper from his Mother, so he let her go and followed her back into the living room. Becca groaned, grabbed her jacket, and slipped out the back door. Ever since Simon's Dad got sick and passed away, she hasn't really done well with injuries. Simon was surprised she even came, not that he wasn't grateful.

"Don't worry, she will come back later. She always does," his Mother sighed, and carefully slid back onto the couch. Simon was just about to join her when he saw a small object glistening in a pile of crumpled green silk by the front door. The crystal, he thought. Isabelle looked at him puzzled, but nodded as Simon walked over to pick up the ornate jewel.

It was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. It was warm, yet cold, all at the same time, and sat heavy in his palm. When the light touched it at the right angle, he could see small intricate patterns carved in the bell shaped gem. It also seemed to be emanating some sort of music, yet no one else in the room could hear it. It called to him, just as he remembered it when he was in the Seelie Court.

"Mom?" Simon asked as he walked back into the living room and took a seat next to Isabelle. "What's this?" He held up the crystal that dangled on a silver thread.

Elaine shrugged. "I though it was yours, or your sisters. I didn't want to lose it, and it looked so beautiful hanging above the door." Her gaze turned to Isabelle. "Who are you?"

Isabelle and Simon exchanged a look - a look of bewilderment with a trace of concern lingering under the surface. Asking his Mother where she'd gotten it seemed like a stupid question now if she didn't even know it was hers. Simon carefully tucked the jewel into his pocket. He saw Isabelle cast him an odd glance as he did. He knew what it meant, and he stifled a laugh. "Mom, this is Isabelle."

Elaine's eyes flew open in acknowledgment. "Isabelle!" She hugged her tightly, much to Isabelle's shock. "Does this mean she is your girlfriend?"

Simon remembered what he'd told his Mother last night. If I ever get a girlfriend, I will bring her home to meet you. He hadn't actually asked Isabelle to be his girlfriend, but they had almost gone all the way back in the park, so Simon thought that had to count for something. That, plus the fact they'd both confessed to loving one another. Isabelle was watching him through narrowed eyes as if his next words needed to be perfect. "Yeah. Isabelle is my girlfriend." And a lot more, he added with his eyes. Isabelle smiled.

Elaine released Isabelle who shuddered with a light laughter of her own. Simon ventured a guess that Isabelle wasn't used to being introduced to people's parents. He also guessed that their relationship had just moved up a notch in the grand scheme of things.

"I'll leave you two alone to talk," Elaine said, rising unsteadily from the couch. "I'm feeling a bit drained as it is. It was nice to meet you Isabelle."

Elaine gave one last look back at Simon and Isabelle before she turned the corner to her room. A slight second later, the bedroom door closed behind her, leaving Simon alone with Isabelle for the first time since their kiss. Simon heard his Mother shuffling around in her room, followed by the crease of the sheets as she climbed into bed, and finally her heart falling into a slow and steady rhythm.

"Well that was weird," Isabelle mumbled, startling Simon out of his reverie.

"What?"

"Meeting your Mom. Do you think she liked me?"

Simon had to laugh. "After everything we've been through, and all we've talked about, you're worried about my Mom not liking you?"

"Hey, there's no need for that." Isabelle nudged Simon in the ribs. The touch of her hand against his side sent waves of pleasure up and down his rib cage. He did his best to keep the sensation at bay though he craved more of Isabelle's caress.

"Yes, she liked you."

"Good because I plan sticking around for a while," Isabelle grinned.

It was odd to see Isabelle so at ease beside him. He was used to seeing her in full battle type action, bursting onto the scene with her Seraph blades scorching the air. But here, she was just Isabelle. His Isabelle. He felt a surge of pride rise in his chest. As if she sensed it too, Isabelle leaned closer to Simon and placed her head on his shoulder. That same feeling of pleasure spread throughout his body, but rather than pushing her away as he should have done, he folded his arms around her, and kissed the top of her forehead. She tilted her head and looked up to him expectantly with those beautiful charcoal eyes that he'd fallen in love with. He knew what she wanted, and he couldn't deny that he wanted the same. He felt her pulse quicken as he closed the distance between them. He knew he should pull back. With his lips mere inches from her own, he could taste her desire on his tongue. He could sense the energies within his body begging to be released as they reacted to that desire. They laughed and cackled at his weakness, taunting him with the promise of her blood - her taste and her warmth. Simon clenched his eyes closed and fought against the agony of his desires. God, just one taste. One taste wouldn't hurt her, he thought. The monster inside rejoiced once again.

"No," Simon hissed. The sound was barely audible to Isabelle but she still leaned back to survey his eyes with a puzzled expression. He could see the hurt and rejection gleaming back at him, but he couldn't kiss Isabelle. Not till the Demon blood was fully out of his system. He couldn't risk it.

He was just about to say something prophetic and entirely too cheesy to break the tension - something about how he couldn't have done any of this without her, how much he owed her for saving his life, and the life of his Mother, but a familiar voice drowned out any chance of that hope.

"Simon? Isabelle? What the hell happened in here?"


By the time Luke and Jocelyn had fallen asleep, Clary was already on her way to Simon's house. It had been nearly 24hours since she'd heard from Jace, and her mind was starting to spin out of control. Jace had taken off once again, and although Clary knew that Jace loved her, she was a little disappointed that he hadn't changed at all since the fight against Lilith. He was still the same old Jace that thought he didn't deserve to be with Clary. The same Jace who thought he was a danger to her.

"Ridiculous," Clary mumbled under her breath as she crossed the darkened street headed towards Simon's house. She needed to talk to Simon about things. He always made her feel better. She could have called him, but in all honesty, she just wanted to get out of the house. Simon was the one person she could count on to understand her feelings.

Luke had spoken to Clary about Simon's whereabouts, and since she hadn't heard anything from Simon in almost a day, she was fearing the worst. Either Mrs. Lewis had kicked him out again, or Simon's glamour was still in effect. She hadn't stopped to think about either conclusion before she'd crept out the back door of the bookstore, and into the night. She knew her Mom would be pissed, but this was Simon, not some hideous demon. She needed to make sure he was all right.

She hesitated in her steps, wondering if maybe she really should have called first, but Clary was feeling a little suffocated at home and she needed the space. Luke and Jocelyn had been keeping their eyes open, watching her every move like a hawk. If she sneezed, her mother was there with a tissue. If she tripped, Luke was there with a first aid kit. If she wasn't hungry, it was like being in front of the Clave themselves. The constant line of questioning had become deafening to Clary's ears.

She kicked a rock and hopped up onto the sidewalk.

Clary was tired of people trying to protect her from every scratch and heartbreak she might face. She was meant to have this incredible power, a power that no one else had, but everyone continued to treat her like a child. Well, everyone but Simon. So what if she didn't have the formal training most of the other Shadowhunters had. She'd fought more demons, and encountered more Angels, than everyone in the Conclave put together. It didn't seem fair to her that she was now shut out once again. She hadn't even been able to go inside the institute after the Clave confiscated Sebastian's body. Clary was furious that she wasn't being allowed to aid in the investigation. Like him or not, Sebastian was still her brother. Clary was the only one besides Jace to get a final look at Sebastian before the Lightwood's took him away. Something hadn't sat right with Clary at the time either. His skin had seemed less pale than before, and the blueish tint had left his eyelids. She had, of course, tried to tell the Clave that he looked different, but without Simon and Jace there to corroborate her story, she'd been out numbered.

Maryse Lightwood had insisted that she was seeing things. There was no blood, no pulse, and no life in Sebastian's body. But he was different. Clary could feel it. Then Jace had just disappeared, and no one even seemed to think that it was odd. They'd all just gone home, angry of course, but home none the less. Clary couldn't shake the feeling that something awful had happened to Jace.

She crossed the familiar intersection just south of Simon's house with her memory flashing images of Sebastian's body in her mind like a repeat of a bad movie. Clary took a deep breath to rid herself of the thoughts, and she was immediately met with the rising scent of ash. The smell seemed to snake its way down her throat and slice into her lungs with a horrid sensation. There were lights on in every window that she passed, but it gave her little comfort as she approached Simon's front door. The curtains were drawn across the windows, and small wooden boards had been placed over what looked like shattered glass. The front door was barely hanging on its hinges, and the sight made Clary's throat tighten in horror. This was not what Clary had been expecting. The fear that enveloped her froze her legs in place for a brief moment as shadows passed by the window. She could see their silhouettes dance along the curtain, and she could hear muffled voices coming from the living room. One of the shadows stood, and paused briefly by the door, before turning down the hallway. Clary heard something click shut, and suddenly found the strength to inch open the front door. Pulling her steele from her pocket, she entered the house.

She crept in a little further, clutching her steele in her right hand. She never went anywhere without it. Everything looked normal on the inside of the house - Just as she remembered it. The only difference was the smell. The scent of ash and burning embers hung heavy in the air, making Clary cover her mouth so as not to breathe it in. It hurt her lungs, just as it had on the streets outside the familiar home.

The voices were louder now, and she realized at once that it was Simon and Isabelle. She wanted to run to them, but as she turned the corner, she saw Simon kissing Isabelle's forehead, and she didn't want to interrupt. She always knew that they had something between them. She was just glad that they seemed to be figuring that out. She couldn't love Simon as he wanted to be loved, but Clary had a good feeling about Isabelle and the way she really felt about Simon. There was something off about Simon's face though, and it didn't seem like Isabelle could see it. Simon looked pained. It was the look on his face that forced Clary's voice to spill into the silent space.

"Simon? Isabelle? What the hell happened in here?" She hadn't meant to interrupt, and especially not with such a demanding tone, but she couldn't help it. The moment that she'd seen Simon with Isabelle, emotions began surface about Jace. She wondered if Jace would ever come home, and if he would ever sit in her living room locked in such a romantic embrace as this one.


"You sure know how to ruin the moment, Fray," Isabelle snapped, folding her arms, and returning to the opposite side of the couch as Simon. Simon stared at Isabelle in surprise. He didn't want her to move away, even though he knew it was for the best. He felt empty without her next to him, yet he couldn't help but feel a little relieved that Clary had interrupted them. He had no idea what he would have done to Isabelle had she not.

"Sorry." Clary looked down in embarrassment.

Simon scooted over to give Clary some room, and patted the seat next to him. Isabelle let out an audible groan. Simon would never get used to girls, he thought. So demanding, and so emotional. "Ladies, calm yourself. There is enough of me to go around."

Clary rolled her eyes as she sat down and unbuttoned her long, green coat. The color seemed to set off her eyes, and make them sparkle even under the dim lighting. Simon could see the faint outline of the Morgenstern ring just under the surface of her black t-shirt, though it looked bulkier than he remembered.

"Don't flatter yourself, Simon."

"Agreed," Grumbled Isabelle from the corner. Simon shot her an apologetic glance before looking back to Clary. There was something off about her face. Clary looked worn down, almost as tired as his mother. He knew that she must be really depleted after battling Lilith, but he doubted that was her reason for coming here. A sudden pang of annoyance jolted through him for no reason, but he shoved it aside as best as he could.

"What's up Clary? Something wrong?"

Clary flashed him a knowing glance, her eyes darting between himself and Isabelle. She seemed genuinely happy to have walked in at just the right moment. Simon knew Isabelle would have a few words to say about that later. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I hadn't heard from you, and from the state of things here, I'm guessing you're not okay." Clary looked down to her hands again, averting her eyes as she always did when she was nervous.

"Well, you could have called, and we're fine here. It was an… accident. Guess I'm not as invincible as I thought.. For the moment anyway." Simon smiled, but there was no emotion behind it. He felt a little vacant for some reason - drained. He probably needed blood, he thought. He hadn't had a free moment to drink anything since the battle.

"I know. I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit. Things are…complicated. What exactly happened here?"

"Oh you know, the usual," Isabelle sighed from the corner. "Demons, Angels, Warlocks… Simon bursting into flames. That sort of thing."

"Izzy…" Simon shook his head and narrowed his eyes at Isabelle. He hadn't really wanted Clary to know the gory details of the past day after what she'd been through. "What Isabelle is trying to say is that I consumed too much Demon blood, and I can't go out in the sun for a few days. That's all."

Simon looked away from Clary and Isabelle to hide his worry. That's all. No, there was much more. So much more. If only he could tell them. But how do you tell the people that you love that you want nothing more than to drain them dry? That every moment you spend with them you feel your rage and strength growing inside of you? How do you tell your best friend and your girlfriend that you feel evil and tainted - that you are a danger to them? Simon couldn't tell them that. He just couldn't. A stab of something unpleasant jabbed him in his stomach making him feel sick and twisted. He did his best to hide the pain.

"You can't go out in the sun anymore?' Clary gasped. "Why didn't you call me?"

"Isn't it obvious? He had me, Clary," Isabelle snapped. Simon could see that she was still a little irritated about Clary's sudden arrival, and disruption.

"I didn't know.. I should have known, and I didn't. I'm sorry Simon. Can you forgive me? I should have been here for you."

As if some old instinct had returned to Simon, he slid closer to Clary; his hand already on top of hers, squeezing gently. Simon had always felt the inexplicable urge to comfort Clary no matter what the circumstances were. It was something that he couldn't control - much like the strange, uncomfortable emotions he could feel brimming at the surface of his words. He heard a slight grumble again from Isabelle who sat in the corner of the room, arms clenched tightly over her chest. She looked offended to Simon, but he would sort that out later. Right now, Clary needed him, and he needed a distraction. "It doesn't matter, Clary. There is nothing to forgive. I'm more concerned with what's going on with you? Need to talk about it?"

Clary sighed and met Simon's eyes with a look of concern and sadness. "Jace is gone." Something that Simon already knew. Isabelle rolled her eyes in the background. Clary seemed to take no notice as she continued. "I think something happened back on that roof. When they brought… Sebastian down, he seemed different. No one will listen to me, but I swear he looked… alive. Then Jace goes missing and no one thinks they are linked together. But I do. I think something really bad happened back there. I can feel it."

"Clary, Sebastian is dead. You can't bring someone back from the dead, and in Sebastian's case, Lilith needed my blood to complete the ritual, which she didn't get. Jace will come back when he's ready."

"Jace, Jace, Jace!" Isabelle groaned from the corner. Simon narrowed his eyes, a sudden sense of anger rippling through his body once more. He did his best to shake it off, but it was getting harder each time it surfaced. He never understood why Isabelle always protested when it came to certain things. Especially Clary. "I think that your mind has made this whole Sebastian thing out to be something it's not. He's DEAD, Clary. Can't you just let it go?"

Clary winced as Isabelle whipped past her, and slumped down onto the porch steps. Simon frowned. He knew that Isabelle hated Sebastian beyond any normal sense of rationality. He had killed her brother, Hodge, and almost killed Isabelle herself. Simon shook his head as he looked back to Clary. She really had bad timing. "She'll be okay, but jeez Clary, why'd you have to say that about Sebastian with her sitting right there?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." Clary fumbled with her hands, casting one glance to the front door before looking back to Simon and lowering her voice. "But Simon, I really think that he's different. I feel like we're all about to be in terrible danger and no one will listen to me."

How true her words were. Clary had no idea what kind of danger she was sitting right next to. Demon blood filled his veins, and Simon could feel it eating away at his soul. He could even taste the remnants of Isabelle's blood on his lips. He wanted it. He needed it. He craved it. It was filling him entirely once again. He felt his eyes roll back slightly, and desire filling his mouth while resentment and anger filled the rest of him.

"You okay Simon?" Clary whispered. He barely heard her. "Simon?"

Terrible thoughts began to swim through his mind - thoughts of Isabelle dead in his arms, of Clary's blood spilled across the floor, of an army of demons willing to fight for him and kill every shadowhunter in the world. He could even hear high-pitched laughter inside his mind, calling out to him, begging him to submit to its guidance.

And he wanted to.

He wanted to feel that power. If it brought him closer to Isabelle's taste, then he wanted to be seduced. He allowed his mind to drift from Clary for just a moment and he listened to the voice that echoed within his blood. Honeysuckle and sunshine.. remember the flavor…the smell.. remember her.. I can help you.. I can give her to you….

"SIMON!" Clary's voice was startled, and she seemed to be struggling though Simon couldn't understand why. Her eyes were wide with fright, the green flecks in her irises shining back at him with alarm. He could see her mouth moving, but there were no sounds to be heard save for the delicate thrumming of her heart as it raced out of control. His mouth began to water.

Thump, thump, thump….

"Let go of me Simon! You're hurting me!"

Suddenly her voice sliced through his concentration, and he realized that he was holding her in place - his hand wrapped around her tiny wrist, crushing it with the force of his desire. "What?" He answered blankly. He was still consumed with the tantalizing voice inside his mind. She struggled to break free of his grip, and as she did something silvery and familiar slipped out from under the fabric of her shirt.

Simon immediately let go of her hand and jumped back in shock. It was an exact replica of the crystal that his mother had.

"What the hell Simon!"

Clary pointed to his mouth with a shaky finger, and suddenly Simon tasted blood on his tongue from where his fangs had popped out, and scratched his skin just below his lips. Instinctively, he covered his mouth and stood up, backing away from Clary. Isabelle hardly took any notice. Simon could see her through the crack of the curtains, pulling apart blades of grass from the front lawn. The voice had left him, but the echoes of the promise remained; Isabelle.

"I'm sorry," Simon whispered. He shook his head, trying to clear the fog. "I don't know why that happened."

Yes I do, he thought. I'm turning into some sort of Demon. He wanted to taste Isabelle again - to kill Clary just like the Demon had shown him. He wanted it so badly that his fangs had come loose of their own accord. He could still feel the strength of that desire rushing through his veins. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to burn out the sensations. He didn't want to be this monster. He didn't want to harm the people he loved.

"Simon." Clary was standing next to him with her injured hand bracing his right arm. He jerked away from her in anger. Anger over how he felt, and anger over what he feared he was about to do. "Simon look at me."

"Where did you get that?" It was all Simon could say as he pointed to the crystal that lay adjacent to the Morgenstern ring around Clary's neck. The fog was still heavy in his mind, and it hadn't really sunk in yet about what he'd done to Clary.

"This?" Clary looked at him in confusion - her fingers wrapping around the silver gem. "I got it from a friend. Well, Kaelie isn't really a friend."

Simon growled. He knew the name - the waitress. He wanted to rip the necklace from Clary's throat. The sight of her wearing the same thing that his mother was being tortured with made his skin crawl. "What does it do?"

"I don't know."

Simon knew it was a lie. He could see the way that her pupils constricted - the way heart jumped the tiniest fraction of a beat as she spoke. "So now my best friend is going to lie to me? Wow, Clary. That's pretty pathetic."

"Simon…No…" Clary's words tumbled out like a pained memory of things forgotten and friendships dissolved. He knew that Clary kept secrets, but how could she lie about something right to his face?

"Simon don't be that way. I.. I can't tell you. I'm sorry." Simon turned away as she spoke. In that one sentence, he truly believed that his friend no longer cared for him, and the Demon was right. If Clary didn't leave soon, he couldn't be responsible for what happened to her. The Demon was lapping at his pain, making it hard to concentrate, let alone believe Clary.

"Please look at me. Don't do this Simon…"

Simon hissed violently in response. How dare she demand something of him when she couldn't even tell him the truth. The sound of his own anger startled Simon, and for a slight moment, his mind found clarity - though it wasn't exactly the answer he was searching for.

Through the clouded stream of incoherent dribble, it occurred to Simon that he really was a danger to those around him. If he couldn't control the voices, or the desires, how could ever be around the people he loved? He knew what he had to do. He had to force Clary away from him for her own good. If he really was turning into some sort of evil monster, he had to make her leave. As painful as it was going to be for both of them, he had to try. He would take care of Isabelle later before any harm could come to her as well.

"Why would I ever want to look at you?" He couldn't stop the bitter words from tumbling out. There was a darkness rising in him that he couldn't fight. He felt as though he was possessed by some sort of greater demon, making him say these things to his best friend, and in truth, he was. The outright rage that dwelled inside of him furthered his terrible lies and hurtful words. His hands began to shake, and low growls burst between his clenched teeth. He felt dark, inconsolable, and suddenly full of anger and power. He could feel that power running over his skin, propelling his muscles to reach out and take Clary's life. He tried to fight against the anger, against the burn of desire, against everything that was trying to claw its way out of him, but he couldn't. It was too strong. He had to make her leave.

"Simon?" Clary stepped away confused. "What's the matter? What happened to you?"

"You are what happened to me. Because of you, I can no longer go out in the sunlight. Because of YOU, my mother was contacted by the Seelie Queen. Because of YOU I have a demon growing inside of me, and all you can do is LIE TO ME, and think about JACE! No wonder no one will listen to you. It's ALWAYS about YOU and I have problems of my own at the moment!"

Simon saw a tear trickle down Clary's face as she took another fearful step back, but he didn't care. He was beyond caring about the problems of Clarissa Fray. He felt a sudden surge of hatred for his best friend as he ripped the crystal from his pocket and thrust it in front of her face. "You see this? My mom almost DIED because of THIS, because of ME and we don't even know what it is! Of course you're not going to tell me what it is because you're too damn selfish Clary! But none of this would have EVER HAPPENED if you had just let me die when you had the chance!"

Simon's voice sounded distant to him, but the words echoed around the room with a low, commanding growl. He could see Clary's face twist with such anguish that he almost stopped his battering. Almost. He hated making her feel this way, but the Demon within would not relent.

"Simon no.. I-"

"Shut UP, Clary!" Simon yelled. The sound brought Isabelle back into the living room who began staring him down in disbelief; her Seraph blade now clutched tightly in her hand. She looked afraid. "All you ever do is think about yourself. Isabelle is right. It's always about Jace. You're so wrapped up in him that you can't even see what's right or wrong anymore. Sebastian is DEAD. Let it go. Stop making problems for other people. Stop causing them pain. Can't you see what you're doing to Isabelle?"

Isabelle's eyes widened for a brief moment as she processed Simon's words. He barely paid her any attention though. His mind and body were being fueled by a rage that not even Simon could comprehend.

"This is not the Simon I know," Clary whimpered, wiping her tears on her green jacket. It looked similar to the one she'd been given in Idris. Simon recognized the coat and sneered. "I never meant to hurt anyone. Isabelle.." Clary turned to watch Isabelle cast her a dark look before putting her blade away with a shrug. Simon felt a small sense of satisfaction at Clary's pain, and although he knew he should cast the thought away, he was reveling in his accomplishment. Clary turned back to Simon with tired, bloodshot eyes. "I'm really sorry. Just so sorry."

"You're always sorry, Clary. All you ever do is apologize now," Isabelle snapped from the doorway.

Suddenly Clary went rigid - her eyes like daggers in the shine of the crystal he was holding in front of her face. Simon had seen this look before. Clary was going to attempt to be defiant, and once again, Simon found himself not caring.

"Fine!" Clary spat back. "You tell me that you can't go out in the sun and that you're a demon now, and suddenly it's all MY fault. You know what Simon Lewis, you can go screw yourself. And if you're wondering what that is…" Clary pointed to the crystal bell that hung at the end of the silver chain in Simon's hands. "It's a summoning stone. There… Now you know.

"I don't care," Simon growled. "Get out. Get out of my life and stay the hell gone."

Isabelle gasped. "Simon, you don't mean that."

"Like hell I don't." Simon shoved the crystal bell back into his pocket, and pushed past Clary and Isabelle, wedging the front door open with his foot. Clary stormed right up to Simon and ripped the chain from around her neck, thrusting it into Simon's face as he had done to her moments earlier. Simon stared at the picture perfect bell that hung just above the neckline of Clary's shirt. It really was an exact replica to the one that his mother had- that he now possessed. He felt his jaw drop.

His fangs pricked the inside of lips once again and Clary gasped in surprise. A small smile played around the corners of his mouth in delight at her reaction. He knew he should ask her about the crystal-like object, but if he stopped his tirade - if he dropped his guard - it would be the end of everything he knew and loved. The demon had crawled its way out of Simon, and he was completely at its mercy.

"You see this, Simon? I couldn't tell you what it did because I didn't want you involved, but I see now that you already are, and frankly I'm not in the mood to offer help anymore. Have a nice life." With that, Clary turned on her heel and marched out of the door, leaving Simon standing flabbergasted on the porch with chilled air escaping his lips in a complete and utter unfounded rage. The moment Clary disappeared around the corner, Simon fell to the cement at his feet and began to sob as darkness closed in around him.

What have I done…..