"So..." Merlin was sitting by the kitchen table, opposite of Gaius, chewing on some kind of cereal. He had been zoning out a lot lately. He just didn't have the time to think about everything. One of the things he didn't have enough time to worry about was what he was eating. "Will's coming to visit in two weeks." Gaius raised his eyebrows while taking a sip of his morning coffee, and Merlin hurried to add: "If that's okay with you, of course."
"Who is Will?" Gaius asked, looking genuinely surprised.
"He's my best friend," Merlin replied, shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "They've got a few days off from school in Ealdor, so his mother said he could come to visit me. You don't mind, do you?"
Gaius shrugged his shoulders. "I guess not."
Merlin smiled before glancing up at the clock on the wall. "Oh, shit!" he exclaimed, practically jumping up from his seat. "I'm late for school. I'll see you later, Gaius." He started running around the room, gathering his books and stuffing them into his bag, heading for the door.
However, he halted suddenly at the sound of Gaius' voice: "Merlin."
"What?" he breathed, his hand on the doorknob.
"Are you alright?" There was genuine concern in the old man's voice, his eyes revealing the worry that his usually blank facial expression hid.
Merlin cracked up in a smile, silently praying that Gaius didn't know him as well as he might think he did. "I'm fine," he replied, his grip tightening around the strap of the messenger bag. "Really, I'm... I'm fine, Gaius. But thanks for worrying about me." Then, he headed out the door without waiting for a reply from his uncle, running for the bus stop.
He made it just in time, and he was still catching his breath when he sank down into the seat next to Arthur. He made sure to tell himself that the only reason he sat down next to the blonde was because all the other seats were taken.
"Good morning," he mumbled breathlessly, receiving a nod from Arthur. Silently cursing the blonde, he went on staring at his hands, waiting for the awkwardness of the moment to be over.
"So, did you and Freya have fun yesterday?"
Merlin blinked. "What?"
"You. Freya. The library." Arthur looked about as bored as he sounded, his eyes staring out the window, and yet, he somehow managed to scare Merlin. "Morgana said she saw the two of you together." A slight smirk formed on his lips at he looked briefly at Merlin through the corners of his eyes. "There's no need to lie about it. You could have just told me you had a date with your girlfriend. Though I don't really understand what kind of date going to the library is."
"We're just friends."
"Oh, is that right?" Arthur sounded amused. "You told me you like her, remember?"
Merlin opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again as he realized that he didn't know what to say. What could he say? That he only said that because Arthur was a royal pain in the arse that just refused to listen, and he had gotten tired of arguing? Then why hadn't he just kept pretending to be Freya's boyfriend?
"We're just friends," he repeated, feeling slightly stupid.
"No, you're not," Arthur said matter-of-factly, and Merlin felt a sudden urge to punch him. However, he refrained from doing anything, knowing it wouldn't do him any good, anyway, and the two of them sat in silence all the way to school.
School was hell. Merlin's gaze kept moving to Arthur, and the blonde was ice cold, not offering as much as a mocking glance in return. So Merlin was stuck wondering what the hell he had done wrong. Sure, he had lied about going to the library by himself, but Arthur didn't really seem to care about that. What he did seem to care about, though, was Freya, though Merlin couldn't understand why, even if his life had depended on it.
He briefly wondered if Arthur would have cared so much if he had known that Merlin and Freya were just friends. He probably would, though, either way. Arthur didn't like the fact that Merlin had a life (even if it was just barely).
At lunch, he sat with Arthur at their usual table, and the blonde still treated him coldly, though he at least had the courtesy to look at Merlin, and he muttered a few insults every time Merlin asked him if he was feeling alright.
In the end, he gave up trying to communicate with Arthur, and just kept on following him around the rest of the day, waiting for it to be over. Arthur appeared to be sulking, though over what, Merlin didn't have the slightest idea.
By the end of the day, when he walked out of the bus, heading for his house, he could feel Arthur's gaze on him. He dared glancing over his shoulder once, and sure enough, Arthur was looking at him, his blue eyes holding some sort of emotion that Merlin couldn't possibly describe, even if he had wanted to. That look scared him. And even though he would never admit it to himself, much less to anyone else, it made his heart beat just a little bit faster.
Freya came over later, after having dropped her bag off at home. Gaius was working late, so they had the house to themselves. They just sat and watched TV and talked and joked and laughed. Merlin was grateful that Freya still wanted to be friends. And, if he was going to be completely honest with himself, he was a little surprised at how easy the atmosphere was. He had expected things to be a little... strained between them, but it wasn't. It could be that Freya found it easier to act naturally around him now than ever, now that she knew exactly what the relationship between them was.
Later, when they both got hungry, they ordered a pizza, and it couldn't have been more than five minutes since it arrived when the doorbell rang again.
Somehow, Merlin felt as if he should have known who it was, but as he opened the door, revealing Arthur Pendragon, it really wouldn't have been an understatement to say that he nearly had a heart attack.
"Sire," he managed to choke out, staring surprised at Arthur. For some reason, the sight of the blonde male in the doorway – in his doorway – knocked the breath out of him. "What are you doing here?"
"I needed to get away," Arthur replied dully, his eyes intentionally avoiding Merlin. "Well? Are you going to invite me in or not?"
Merlin nodded, swallowing nervously. "Sire," he repeated, stepping aside so that Arthur could walk past him into the house. It did not escape him how extremely, insanely and terrifyingly close Arthur was as he stepped in through the doorway, stopping for a short moment to take off his shoes and jacket. As the blonde walked past him, Merlin let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding in, ignoring the tickling heat that rose up in his cheeks.
As he followed Arthur into the living room, he received a confused glance from Freya that quite clearly said "What's he doing here?", while Arthur himself asked, a bit sourly, "What's she doing here?"
"Sorry," Merlin mumbled, a little more than slightly uncomfortable with the fact that Arthur was in his house. As neither of the two seemed to intend to say anything, Merlin mumbled another 'sorry', the words quite evidently having abandoned him.
Freya wanted to leave. It was obvious, the way her gaze seemed to avoid Arthur at any cost, and the way she was shifting slightly in her seat, nervously, uncomfortably. But she made no sign to get up, and after a few seconds of awkward silence, she simply picked up her slice of pizza and resumed eating.
Merlin dumped down on the couch, getting a pizza slice of his own, before asking Arthur: "Do you want some?", briefly wondering if he should have added a 'sire' after that.
The blonde replied by shrugging his shoulders and sitting down next to Merlin, and for a split second, Merlin stopped breathing. Then he remembered it was only Arthur, they had been sitting next to each other countless times before, and the blonde really shouldn't be having this effect on him. He should feel scared and annoyed and trampled on, not... whatever it was that he was feeling.
The three of them ended up sitting and watching TV. There was some sort of mutual agreement that talking would be too awkward, since Arthur obviously disliked Freya, and Freya and Merlin weren't particularly fond of Arthur. So they all just sat and stared at the screen. Merlin didn't know about the others, but he, for one, was too far gone in his own thoughts to pay attention to whatever show was on TV.
After what seemed like forever, Merlin noticed Freya looking at him, questioningly. With a small sigh, he nodded at her, and he could see that she was really concentrating on not jumping up and running out the door. Instead, she got up slowly, mumbling an awkward 'I should go home' as she started towards the door.
"I'll see you to the door," Merlin said quickly, standing up and stepping past Arthur, receiving a bored glance from the blonde and a grateful smile from Freya.
"You're blushing," the dark-haired girl stated quietly once they were both safely out of the room. She looked knowingly at Merlin, and he snorted at her.
"What are you implying?"
Freya smiled innocently. "I'm not implying anything. I'm just saying you should talk to him. I might not like him much, but," – she shuddered lightly, smiling playfully – "if you do, you two might figure things out."
"There is nothing to figure out," Merlin shot back. "He thinks I'm boring, and I think he's a bastard. That's as far as it goes."
"You just tell yourself that." Freya laughed, her hand awkwardly find its way to rest on Merlin's shoulder, her eyes piercing his. "But you and I both know that it goes a bit deeper than that."
"Why would you think that?"
"Because you're blushing."
Merlin shook his head. "No. You're wrong." He was hissing quietly by now, as loud as he could without Arthur hearing. "I can't stand him."
"Maybe," Freya mused, "but that's only half the truth."
"No," Merlin repeated, shrugging the brunette's hand off his shoulder. "No way. No. I am not in love with Arthur Pendragon."
Abruptly Freya turner her attention back to putting on her jacket, her eyes deliberately avoiding looking at Merlin as she pulled up the zipper of the jacket, but as she opened the door, she walked backwards outside, a partially genuine, partially devious smile playing on her lips. "That's all I needed to hear. I'll see you tomorrow." Then she set off down the street.
Merlin closed the door after her. He stood there for a while, his hand on the door handle, as he tried to figure out what their conversation had been all about; what Freya had meant by what she said. That's all I needed to hear. What was that supposed to mean?
What she had been saying was ridiculous, though, he decided as he walked back into the living room, resuming his place on the sofa, next to Arthur. After all, there was no way he would ever fall in love with someone like Arthur. It was just not possible. He was a complete jerk, and Merlin... Merlin was Merlin. And guys like Merlin didn't fall for guys like Arthur.
Oh, really? a treacherous voice within his mind whispered. You fell for Darren, didn't you? What's the big difference between him and Arthur?
Shut up, he thought harshly, not bothering to think that it was his own mind that had been thinking that, subconsciously. Darren is nothing like Arthur.
It didn't really matter, though, even if the two blondes were the same type. It didn't matter at all. Because Merlin was not in love with Arthur.
Or was he?
"Why did you come here?" he asked Arthur. Not that the blonde was particularly pleasant talking to, but at the moment, he would do anything to get away from his thoughts.
Arthur turned his head to look at him, and Merlin found himself holding his breath when those beautiful blue eyes locked with his, blonde eyebrows raised above them. "I already told you. I needed to get away."
"Well, yeah, but..." Merlin cursed himself for even trying to have a conversation with this guy. "There has to be some reason why you needed to. And besides, I thought you didn't like me. Why would you come here?"
"Better you than him," Arthur said, letting out a sound that was something between a sigh and a snarl. When Merlin just looked confusedly at him, he rolled his eyes, continuing, "I had a fight with my father. That's all you need to know."
"You know..." Merlin took a deep breath, not really believing what he was about to say. "You know you could tell me, if you wanted to."
Arthur looked at him with amusement in his eyes. "Yeah? Well, I don't want to. And you should learn to keep your nose out of other people's business and stay where you belong. Which is somewhere, doing your homework."
"Right." Merlin sighed as he got up again, heading for the kitchen. "Oh, and there is one more thing," he said, turning back just before leaving the room. "How long will you be staying?"
"Meaning?"
"Do you plan on spending the night here?"
If he were anyone else, Merlin would have said Arthur looked grateful. But Arthur wasn't the type of guy to be grateful. He took everything for granted, like the spoiled brat he was. "I think I might, since you're offering," he said. And, for only a short moment, it was there again. That deep look in his eyes, that showed a mixture of overwhelming emotion that Merlin couldn't even begin to understand. For just a few short seconds, his eyes were a vortex of feelings – all kinds of feelings – and for reasons that Merlin had only recently begun to understand, it made his legs feel like jelly.
"Right." He cleared his throat, turning his eyes away from Arthur (he was pretty sure that he'd been staring like a love struck fool). "I'll get a bed ready for you in the guest bedroom."
"I wouldn't mind sleeping on the sofa," Arthur argued lamely, but Merlin merely shook his head.
"No, I'll take care of it. Just... make yourself at home."
He backed up the last few steps out of the living room. As soon as he reached the kitchen, where his school bag lay on the table, he dumped down on one of the chairs, his head in his hands, elbows rested on the table.
This could not be happening. It just could not. He wouldn't go so far as to say that he was in love with Arthur – which he knew was what Freya was thinking – but he could no longer deny that underneath the strong dislike for Arthur, there was something more. And that something, whatever it was, wasn't healthy.
It could have been easy getting over it, had it not been for the way Arthur looked at him ever so rarely. No matter how hard he tried, Merlin could not forget that look, and even though Arthur probably didn't even realize it, it had him distracted from everything and anything for hours at a time afterwards. Normally, it would have been great to see some sort of genuine emotion on Arthur's face, but it was all too much at once, and Arthur was impossible to read. And Merlin just couldn't get his mind off the gorgeous blonde, not even if his life depended on it.
Sighing, he reached for his bag, pulling out his History books and starting to read, taking notes as he did so, without really realizing what he was reading.
A/n: Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm taking far too long to update. And I know it's the lamest excuse in the world, but I really don't have time for much other than school lately. But it's the truth. I really need to get my grades up if I'm going to study psychology when I graduate. But, since my grades have actually improved since I started trying to do well in school, I'll be celebrating with writing a little more the next period of time. And, since I have winter break next week, and I'll be spending a lot of my time alone in my brother's apartment, I'll have lots of time to write (and do math).
So basically, what I'm saying is that I'll try to update as often as possible, though the chapters are going to be fairly far apart. Again, sorry about that. Also, I would like you to keep in mind that when it comes to writing, I need to prioritize my book that is close to a finish, and that is hopefully going to be published in a few years time.
Sorry about the rant. But, since I have said so much already, it probably won't hurt to say a little more. So, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! You really keep me going. And thanks to all of you who read this, but don't review. I don't blame you for not reviewing, I know how hard it is to come up with something to say about the story. Anyway, thank you all for reading this story. I really do appreciate it. I really can't say how much it means to me that people enjoy my writing.
But enough of that! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and please review! And I'll see you in the next chapter. -blows kisses-
