The Mechanist's Secret Power
Chapter 7: The Interdimensional Pathway
"Whoa!" Odin breathed in. "This is epic!"
"Welcome, one and all, to the interdimensional pathway!" Anna shouted, her saleswoman pitch echoing all around the group. She paused, and then added, "You guys probably know it as the Outrealms, though."
The Outrealms were a continuous stream of green wavy lights flowing around the room, much like living ribbons. There was no floor, only more green wavy mist in its place, and the haze appeared to extend indefinitely.
Spaced every thirty feet or so on the sides of the pathway were round shimmering portals, each of which was a different shade of color. The portals had a circular swirl pattern embedded in them that was spinning clockwise at a high speed giving them an almost hypnotic glow.
Laslow hesitantly walked forward, a bit nervous about walking on a pathway entirely of green misty ribbons. "I don't remember the Outrealms being so green," he murmured. "I could've sworn they were blue."
"It matters not what hue it is!" said Odin. "The only matter of consequence is the mysterious ache which enters my mind upon visiting this realm!" He thrusted his hand into the air.
Outrealm Felicia's face scrunched up and she looked quizzically at Odin. "Sorry, I didn't catch that."
"…This place makes my head hurt," Odin explained, wilting.
Xander's grip remained tight on Siegfried. "I don't like it here."
Anna shrugged and walked forward. She placed her hand on her forehead like a visor and began to scan her surroundings. "I don't think anyone does. The Outrealms themselves are the real draw; the path between them is just that. What kind of psychopath would come to a creepy green void for a picnic?"
She pulled a red gadget and looked at it. "Anyone got a lock of Corrin's hair? If I put a possession of Corrin's onto the device, it can give me his HP, state of consciousness, and a rough estimate of his current location."
Normal Felicia pulled out a hairbrush from her pocket and plucked a strand from it, handing it to the assassin. "Here you go."
The group stared at Normal Felicia, who proceeded to puff up her bottom lip. "What?"
"I didn't actually expect anyone to have a hair sample," said Anna. "I thought I was going to have to use his dragonstone or something."
The maid sighed. "Corrin has me do his hair."
"That explains why his hair's so messy," Anna muttered (to Felicia's disapproval). She turned to place the hair strand on the gadget's screen. "Ah-ha! It's got a lock on him - he's alive and conscious. And the Outrealm he's in is… oh."
"What's the problem?" Laslow asked. "A frown doesn't suit such a pretty face."
Anna's eyes narrowed at the mercenary before she spoke up again. "It doesn't say where Corrin is. Apparently, this version of the software doesn't have Outrealm-locating support. That'll be included in the next firmware update, which will have…" Her face brightened. "Ooh, minor adjustments to overall system stability have been made to enhance the user experience."
"If your otherworldly device won't locate him, then how shall we find Lord Corrin?" Jakob asked. "I have chores to attend to, so I'd appreciate it if we could get this over with quickly."
The assassin shrugged. "Corrin can't have gone too far. Based on the speed he was flying through the portal, he only had enough forward momentum to bounce a few thousand feet or so. We'll just start with the first few Outrealm portals we see. He's bound to be in one of them."
"So we're going on a wild goose chase, then. Fabulous."
"That's the spirit!" Anna perkily replied, giving the steward two quick pats on the shoulder.
He grumbled, muttering something about "filthy hands", wiping his sleeve with a handkerchief.
Anna pointed to the closest portal, a crimson swirling void on her left. "Okay, gang," she said. "Let's try that one first!" Without warning, she leaped into the vortex.
Immediately, she ran back out of it, her hair aflame. "Yow!" she shouted. After a few frantic seconds of running around, the Felicias managed to douse the Anna's hair with their ice magic.
"Thanks!" she said, nodding to the Felicias. "Okay, Corrin's not in that one. Everything was on fire in that world. We should look for an Outrealm that's livable. You know, a place where the guy can remain conscious and, um…not die."
"Everything was on fire…?" Normal Felicia asked.
"Outrealms are independent universes," Anna explained. "Some have different laws of physics, some have alternate versions of the people that you already know," she gestured between the two Felicias, "and some Outrealms have everyone and everything on fire, apparently."
"In a world aflame, would the torture never cease?" Odin asked. "Would the pain of flame not condemn those who live in the heat to eternal torment?"
Anna tapped her chin. "What are you talking about?"
Inigo, sighing, clarified Owain's question. "He wants to know if it hurts the people in the fire world to live there."
Anna tapped her finger on her chin impatiently. "What, do I look like a Fire Outrealm expert to you? I'm just here to recover the prince, same as you folks. Now, which portal should we try next…?"
She pointed to the nearest Outrealm portal on her right - this one a buttery yellow. "Let's try that one!" the redhead yodeled, leaping into the golden void.
"Should we not scout the portals out before diving in?" Odin whispered to Laslow.
"I think that's exactly what Anna's doing," Laslow replied with a shrug
Red hair burst out of the Outrealm, parting to reveal Anna's head, shoulders, then finally her legs. "Poisonous-gas-realm," she wheezed before fainting.
"Well then," Male Corrin said.
"…So," Female Corrin said, awkwardly twiddling her fingers.
They were inside Female Corrin's treehouse, each of the Corrins sitting on a chair placed adjacent to the tea table. They heard a knock at the door, and Jakob entered.
"Tea for milady," he said – bizarrely enough, giggling. He smiled and poured some into a cup for the female Corrin. He laughed, then poured some for her male counterpart. "Enjoy your time together, milady and milord!" he singsonged, exiting the room and slamming the door.
"Huh. Your Jakob's weird," Male Corrin mused.
"Jakob's not usually that friendly," Female Corrin responded, shrugging. "I guess he's just happy there are two of me. Honestly, he's always had a bit of a crush on me. Having two versions of his master must be a dream come true."
"Huh. See, my Jakob is kind of a prick to me, and was still a prick when there were two of me. Maybe Jakob's sexist."
She shrugged.
"So…Hoshido, huh?" Male Corrin asked. He brought the teacup up to his lips.
"Mhm-hm. I didn't want to side with Garon after he initiated that attack on my mother."
He nodded. "Yeah, King Garon's a jerk. I hate that guy."
Female Corrin brought the tea to her mouth, and took a sip, extending her pinky. "Hm. If you don't like Garon, why did you choose Nohr?" She slurped the tea. "Was it so you could stay with your adoptive family? I know I miss Leo, Camilla, Elise, and, of course Xander so much."
Corrin sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Sort of…?"
Xander and Ryoma were on opposing sides of the field. Soldiers stood nearby, ready to attack.
"This way!" Ryoma shouted. Takumi, Sakura, and Hinoka ran up to the prince of Hoshido's side.
"B-big brother?" Sakura asked hesitantly.
Elise sprinted next to Xander. "He's my brother!"
Xander looked at Corrin and offered a hand. "We are your family."
Corrin looked between the two opposing families and sighed. "I…can't choose!"
Ryoma frowned. "Corrin, you have to choose."
Xander nodded. "You need to pick a side, brother."
"Here, Cory-Cory-Cory!" Camilla cooed. "Choose Nohr!" She pulled out a muffin from her pocket.
"I'm not a puppy, Camilla," said Corrin. "Stop it."
"Are you sure?" she questioned. "You're about as cute as one! And I know how much you love my muffins…"
Corrin shook his head. "I really hope that's not supposed to be an innuendo… Fine, if you all want me to choose a side, then I'll do it my way. I'm gonna decide using the method I use for all of my important choices." He began rummaging through his armor, looking for something.
"With your heart?" Sakura offered hopefully.
The draconic prince shook his head. "Nope. With a coin!" He pulled out a gold bullion from his armor plates. "Heads or tails, Ryoma?"
Ryoma tilted his head inquisitively. "You're going to leave one of the most important decisions of your life…up to pure chance."
"Yep. Heads or tails?"
Takumi groaned loudly. "I'm not even sure I want Corrin to choose us anymore," he mumbled.
"Tails!" Elise shouted. "Nohr for tails!"
"All right, then!" Corrin shouted, lifting his right hand with the coin upwards. "Stand back, everyone! Heads for Hoshido, tails for Nohr!"
"This is incredibly foolish," Leo groaned.
"Corrin, are you sure about this?" Jakob asked. "This seems rather…well, to put it bluntly, milord, very dumb. I mean, even for you, this is a record."
Corrin gave a lopsided grin. "When have I ever done anything dumb, Jakob?"
The butler frowned. "Well…" He pulled out a piece of parchment.
"D-did you have that prepared in advance?"
He nodded. "I make a note on this list every time you do something incomprehensibly stupid – for insurance reasons, you see. Right now, it's at...twelve."
"That's not so bad."
"I started this particular list two hours ago."
"Oh."
Corrin turned to face the songstress. "Azura, what do you think?"
She shrugged. "Whatever you think is best. I trust your judgement."
Corrin giggled. "Okey-dokey, then! Let's do this thang!"
He threw the coin into the air. One could swear it sparkled as it flew in the air, shimmering in the light. The metallic rim bounced on the grass, the coin spinning on its side like a top.
Ryoma's entourage started cheering. "Ho-shi-do! Ho-shi-do! Ho-shi-do!"
Elise, Camilla, and Leo started encouraging the gods to choose their path. "Go Nohr! Go Nohr! Go Nohr!"
The draconic prince cheered for his preferred side as well. "Join Smash! Join Smash! Join... Wait, why didn't I just choose that in the first place? Damn. I guess it's too late to back out now."
The coin came to a slow halt on its side.
"Huh," Corrin said. "I'm so sorry, everyone. I have no choice but to refuse to pick a-"
A sudden burst of wind knocked the coin over.
"Hey, would you look at that - it's tails. Looks like I'm going with your side, Xander!"
"Yay!" Elise shouted, pulling Corrin into a hug. "We got our brother back!"
Takumi frowned. "Doesn't anyone find it suspicious that the coin was blown over by wind? It's a sunny day out!" He pointed at the sky. A little boy was trying desperately to fly a kite in the distance, only to fail miserably as the kite continually flopped along on the ground much like a fish out of water.
Takumi glared at Leo, who was whistling nonchalantly, a tome concealed behind his back.
Takumi scowled. "You! Nohrian Scum! You used a burst of wind from that tome to knock the coin over!"
Leo began humming.
"Seriously, that's not fair! You can't just change the result like that!" Takumi whined. "There was a 50/50 chance!"
"This game doesn't have true hit," Corrin corrected. "It was more like a 49/51 chance."
"We're not playing a game, filthy traitor!" Takumi raged. "This means war!"
Corrin sagged. "Don't remind me. I wish I was playing some Smash right now…"
Takumi blinked.
Leo started to sing.
"Youuuu are the ooooccean's grey waaaaves
Destined to seeeeek,
Life beyooond the shore, just out of reaaaach!"
"Doesn't anybody know how to sing anything besides that stupid freaking song?" cried Takumi. "And why's a kid flying a kite in the middle of a battlefield, anyway? Does nothing here make sense?" He started kicking the field. "You're...making…me…kick…grass!"
Ryoma patted the angry prince on the back. "Don't worry about any of that, Takumi," he said. "Now, come with me! Last one to murder Corrin is a rotten egg!"
"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Sakura whispered.
"Did you say something, Sakura?" Hinoka questioned.
"N-nothing…" she lamented quietly.
"You flipped a coin?" the female Corrin screeched at her male counterpart.
"Hey, I thought it was a good idea at the time!" he replied, his arms upright and assuming a defensive posture.
She rested her hand on her forehead and pinched it. "Gods. Are all of my male counterparts this airheaded?"
Male Corrin shrugged. "Beats me. You're the only alternate me I've met." He leaned back in his chair too far and fell on the ground with an "oof".
Female Corrin giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "Are all of my counterparts this clumsy, too?" she asked, getting up from her chair and offering him a hand. He accepted it, helping himself upwards.
"Wow, your hands are really soft!" Male Corrin remarked. "What kind of lotion do you use?"
She frowned. "That's really personal, Corrin. You don't just say something like that to a complete stranger."
"But you're not a complete stranger!" he said. "We're the same person, only separated by gender!"
"And which faction we chose in this international war."
"Well, yeah, sure. But who cares about that? My point is, that other than the thingy between our legs," he gestured to his crotch, "and the two other thingies between your shoulders," he said, as he gestured to her chest, "we're completely identical. We can confide our deepest, darkest secrets to each other with no judgement or repercussions because we'll feel the same way… Probably!"
"You're right, Corrin," she said, smiling. "I can trust you." Female Corrin's smile dipped a bit. "Gods, saying my own name sounds too weird. Can I maybe call you something else? Kamui, maybe?"
"Gesundheit."
"Huh?"
"You sneezed. Gesundheit."
"What, no, Kamui is… Look, never mind." She shook her head and her gorgeous, honeyed white hair waved to him as she moved.
Male Corrin could've sworn the hair was trying to seduce him.
"Look at me," the hair whispered. "Aren't I so beautiful? Silky and soft, don't you just want to run your fingers through me, to feel my touch against your skin?"
Corrin's hands gripped the bottom of his chair as he tried to resist the hair's enticement.
"You've always had a thing for long hair, Corrin," the hair teased. "No wonder you love Azura so much. However, unlike Azura, I'm much smoother. And there's also much, much more of me and my soft, warm boingy goodness. In fact, I think I may be the largest pair of…bangs…in this whole Hoshidan camp!"
Corrin was not fantasizing about Female Corrin's hair anymore.
'I'm a married man,' he tried to convince himself. "Think about Garon bathing, think about Garon bathing…"
Garon appeared in Corrin's imagination and he smirked. His rippled, shimmering abs were just barely covered by the soapy bubbles and floating rubber duckies. "So, you've seen my true form," the imaginary Garon said, winking. He raised his hand out of the water and flexed his taut, muscular arm.
'Oh, no,' Corrin moaned internally. 'He's hot!'
"Well…how about that one?" Anna asked right before she jumped into another portal, only to return out of it soaking wet. She coughed, spitting out water. "Fish Outrealm," was all that was said, resulting in a simultaneous groan from the rest of the party.
"Isn't there a faster way to do this?" Laslow inquired. "Surely, if we split up, we can cover more portals faster."
Anna brought her hands around her ponytail and starting to wring the water from her red hair. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. There's no need for you all to trail around me. Let me know if you find anything."
"Very well," said Xander. "Laslow, pair with Odin and start checking the next portal on the right."
"I shan't disappoint you, Lord Xander!" Laslow affirmed.
"I shall use the sacred dragon blood in my veins to locate the lost draconic prince!" Odin exclaimed. The duo jogged over to a purple portal and hopped inside.
"Felicia and Felicia, you two can team up. Enter your next portal on the left; the pink one over there."
The maids squeaked and hugged, then grabbed hands and skipped inside the appropriate portal.
"That is probably the single most adorable thing I've ever seen," Anna observed.
"Truly," Jakob snarled. "It's so sickly sweet that I think I may need to wash my mouth out with soap."
"Jakob!" Xander boomed. "Since you've been such a positive role model to my dear brother, you can enter the second portal over there!" He pointed towards a brown, lethargically swirling portal. It sneezed and stopped spinning for a moment before finally coughing out a slimy liquid that vaguely resembled human saliva. The portal resumed its slow animation.
"D-did…did that portal just cough and sneeze?" Jakob asked, eyes wide. "My Lord, I don't think-"
"In you go!" Xander said, picking up the butler by the scruff of his cravat and tossing him into the shit-colored portal. He clasped his hands together.
"I never knew you could be so…emotive," Anna observed, raising an eyebrow.
Xander shrugged. "I can only maintain my 'dignified leader' persona for so long. I have feelings as well, they're just a bit harder to access." He thumped his chest with his fist. "Let's head in that one," he said, pointing to a rainbow-colored portal. The two crossed the threshold and entered the portal.
Inside the contents of the purple portal, Laslow punched Odin in the shoulder.
"Hey!" Odin whined as he began walking. "You punched me!"
"You brought up your ancestry!" Laslow bemoaned. "We agreed not to do that, lest we be discovered. Don't go spouting off information like that again!"
Odin waved the matter away and continued walking forward. "You worry too much. No one listens to my dramatic monologues. I could shout 'Greetings, travelers! My name isn't ODIN DARK, IT IS ACTUALLY OWAIN, SON OF LISSA AND LON'QU, AND I TRAVELED BACK IN TIME TO DEFEAT THE FELL DRAGON GRIMA!' and no one would bat an eye. No one takes anything I say seriously, see?"
Laslow halted in place and gulped. "Um…Odin?"
"Yes, my comrade?"
"You know how you said no one takes anything you say seriously?"
Odin sighed. "Did someone important just overhear what I said?"
Laslow slowly nodded. "There is one person who does take everything you say seriously."
Odin raised his brows. "And who would that be?"
"Yourself."
Laslow pointed at the man in front of them, a dead-ringer for Odin.
The Odin in front of them was slack jawed, his blonde hair fluttering in the light breeze, as he tried to greet his alternate universe self. "W-what manner of sorcery is this?" the Odin managed to squeak out. He collapsed on the floor with a light thud.
Odin's and Laslow's eyes met, confirming they felt the same. Nodding slightly to each other, they immediately booked it in the direction opposite the alternate Odin, running towards the portal they entered in.
"Hark, can it be?" Odin asked, frantically patting the stone wall where they had entered. "The portal has vanished!"
"Let's try the other direction!" Laslow shouted. The two frantically scrambled in the opposite direction of the wall, this time towards the comatose Odin, right before Laslow rammed his forehead into another man's, knocking the man over onto his rear.
"Hey, I was trying to practice my dancing!" the strange man whined, rubbing his forehead. He was wearing a mercenary's outfit and could've been Laslow's identical twin if Laslow had one. The stranger looked upwards, only to see an alternate version of himself. "Oh, Naga," he groaned. "You're another Laslow, aren't you?"
"I thought we agreed not to use the "n" word anymore," Laslow grumbled.
"You may have," said the alternate Laslow, "but I certainly didn't."
The two Laslows tried to avoid each other's eyes, reddening slightly.
Odin rolled his eyes. "Outrealmer Laslow, have you seen a draconic prince pass by this region?"
"You mean Corrin?" the Laslow asked. "No, he's out with Felicia beating up some Faceless for 'Experience Points'." He shrugged. "I haven't seen any other Corrins pass by here, and I've been dancing in this spot for the last few hours."
"Darn!" Odin proclaimed. Many thanks anyways, alternate version of my best friend!"
"Yeah," Laslow muttered. "Thanks, I guess. I hate meeting alternate versions of myself. It's weird."
"Tell me about it," alternate Laslow replied. He glanced upwards a bit, truly looking at himself, and he turned crimson. "Gods," he whispered. "Am I truly this gorgeous?"
Laslow blushed. He waved his hand downwards, dismissing the compliment. "You're not so bad yourself, you know," he said, winking while still blushing furiously.
Odin's Fell hand met its Fell face. "If you're finished stroking your ego, alternate Laslow, I have a question. Where is your world's Dragon's Gate? We're now aiming to venture back to the Outrealms."
The alternate Laslow pointed south. "That way. Just past the treehouse."
"Your assistance is greatly appreciated," Odin replied, dragging the blushing Laslow towards the indicated direction.
"It appears this world is a mirror image of ours, down to the hands," Laslow noted. "Did you notice he was left-handed?"
Laslow nodded, walking towards the indicated Gate. "That would explain why their Dragon's Gate is on the other side and not where we entered."
Odin shook his head. "Outrealms freak me out, man."
Laslow raised an eyebrow. "Did you just say something without being dramatic?"
"Hark! Thou art mistaken!"
"You can't just replace 'you' with old-sounding words and expect it to sound dramatic, thou know."
"Shut up," said Odin. "At least I didn't start flirting with the other Odin." He walked up to the Dragon's Gate.
"True. You would've started reading play scripts with him if you'd gotten the chance. Remember baby Owain?"
Odin eyes did another 360, noticing an Anna as they approached the alternate Dragon's Gate.
The Anna guarding the Gate tapped her finger on her chin. "Oh, great. These guys."
"Hello, Anna," said Laslow, throwing Anna a pouch of gold and walking through the Gate. Odin followed. Anna began to fuss over the gold and the gate shimmered again, swallowing the duo.
Author's Notes:
So we have a plot now, kind of. Okay, so it's more like a collection of sub-plots, but…regardless, I hope it's entertaining.
I had most of this chapter written before I accidentally deleted about 25% of the document, so that was…fun. I did get some more ideas that way, though, and I think the end result flows better.
Writing Odin is fun, but my GOD am I glad to have a dictionary built-into Word. He's like a self-aware Miriel as far as word choice goes, yeesh.
As always, please comment and give feedback! If this is getting too confusing, let me know! I tried to make it not…confusing. If you see any typos, let me know! I try and get most of 'em, but I miss them occasionally.
And I should have the next chapter up pretty soon. This chapter was originally going to be about double the length, but then I realized that was stupid. Since they're sub-plots, I can just split 'em up!
Edit as of December 2017: Fixed grammar.
