As I promised, one super long and emotional chapter for you all! However, I will not update this for a while! Since I have had Write's Block, there are only a few more pages until the end of my Google Doc. Don't worry, it's not the end of this book! I plan to have two seasons per book, so I just need t start writing the Tournament. Seriously though, this is super long! Enjoy it!
(Just so I don't forget: There is a suicide attempt in this chapter, take caution I guess?)
"I suggest you see a psychiat-" Zane suggested, but I cut him off.
"No. I can't trust them for a multitude of reasons."
"They do not loc-"
"Not what I meant, Zane. I don't know if you have the Privacy Act or whatever, or even if your 'psychiatrists' are as well trained as ours. Obviously your doctors were pretty bad. I didn't even have tubes in me! They didn't even take my hood off, and that's just basic medical safety!" I growled.
Stepping into Borg Tower, I turned to face a still angry Kai. Zane's harsh glare kept him at bay, but I did not know for how long. I still couldn't walk, and Zane was the only one willing to help me.
Lloyd was wary of me, not calling me 'Sis' anymore. He seemed conflicted, unsure of himself.
It stung to know I planted that seed of doubt inside himself. Things like that don't just go away.
I wondered how he managed to learn that song. I had sung it whenever I felt alone at the house. I didn't sing often, but I did it occasionally. Singing was private to me, as exposing my feelings so profoundly was uncomfortable. Obviously I'd need to more careful in the future.
"May I speak to you for a moment?" Zane requested.
"Sure. What's on your mind?"
"You've caused a lot of pain for my brothers, especially Kai and Lloyd. I fear that you may be inflicting psychological damage on them. Jay is also scarred, but he is starting to deal with it. Please, I urge that you change your ways! I am afraid for them, and for you." Zane pleaded, turning to me with sad eyes.
"I wish I could. I really wish I could. If I did, who knows what would happen? You haven't been around me lately, but haven't you noticed? Things seem off, don't they?" I hoped Zane noticed.
"I-I can agree. Scales Junior nearly died when we were underground, and Ed's jetpack had malfunctioned on his way out. Amongst other minor things." Zane noted, and I practically choked on air.
"What! Why was I not informed of this!" I screeched as I began to panic. Hadn't my brain suffered enough today?
"Starlord, calm down. We are obviously unhar-"
"I can see that! But what if you didn't make it? The smallest of changes have the biggest effects! I cannot leave, not now! There are too many variables now! I- list… I've got to make my list!" I rushed out, grabbing my pen and journal.
13. Calculate how much time changes during each event and calculate the rate of decline.
14. Determine likely event changes and prepare for the worst.
15.
Zane gently stopped me from writing.
"We are fine. We will all be fine. You do not need to worry so much."
I remained silent, a snappy remark begging to get out. But if it did, it would spoil Zane's death.
"I think I just need to rest." I sighed, looking down. I noticed I had messed up a lot of things on my list. Good relations with the Ninja? Hah! That was probably nothing less than a pipe dream now.
"Please, just… Think about it. Despite what you may think, we do not believe you are completely a bad person. You are young, and likely can change…" Zane quietly spoke.
"Haha, I think you have all forgotten how stubborn I am. I can guarantee nothing, but I can try to limit myself. I wouldn't count on it though." I replied.
"Thank you for at least considering it." Zane smiled.
"Yeah…" I trailed off, before looking for a semi-comfortable place to rest. Seeing a bench, I awkwardly pointed it out. Zane silently nodded, setting me down on the bench. I thanked him, before politely shooing him away.
Alone at last.
"I'm royally pissed, Starlord."
Aw, come on!
"What do you need Kai?" I sighed, crossing my arms. His glare intensified.
"You're a kid. It can be hard to remember that. But you seriously hurt my brothers and I am not known for my mercy." Kai threatened.
"I know you aren't. I know I'm still a minor. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm not in a detention center yet. There's not much I can do for you." I replied offhandedly, looking away.
"I'm very, very tempted to yell at you, even fight you. All you've caused is hurt and I am getting tired of seeing my friends in pain! Zane and Lloyd stick up for you, but it seems like Lloyd isn't going to stay much longer. I'm surprised that Zane keeps standing up for you. Jay's much more nervous than before and Cole is starting to remember some pretty bad things."
The voices returned, steadily growing louder. All of them laughed about how Lloyd was going to leave me.
"You really don't get it, do you? Haha, either you are innocent or you weren't paying attention. The voices told me to jump out of the Fighter Flyer midair. I wouldn't have survived that drop. Get it now?" I snapped. Kai flinched back slightly, a spark of recognition in his eyes.
"You always seem to bring back bad memories, don't you?" A voice hissed deviously.
"Shut up. I know I do. I can't help it." I whispered back, and Kai looked at me strangely.
"You're crazy."
"Just… Go. Don't waste your time with me." I replied, the voices growing louder again. I ignored them.
Kai started to walk away, before halfway he turned back and threw a fireball in my direction. I dodged it, my muscles screaming in pain.
"You think I'm crazy? You're going to burn this place down!" I yelled, and Kai shook his head.
"Already asked about it. Apparently everything here is fire-proof." He shot another fireball at me. I grabbed my pen quickly, nearly getting hit again.
"Screw you!" I screamed back, trying to find a place to run. All exits were blocked by him. There wasn't even an elevator!
"You're breaking us all apart! You know this isn't supposed to happen!" He threw another one, and it hit my foot. I screamed, dropping and desperately trying to put out the fire. Cursing as I finally managed to put it out, I looked up to see Kai with both hands on fire. My pen was too far away from me to grab, I had dropped it while putting out the fire.
"What do you think you're going to get out of this, huh? Is it going to bring you satisfaction? It never did for me!" I yelled, trying to inch away, but I had strained my muscles too far already.
"I'm not going to kill you. You really are crazy. I'm just turning you in." Kai blandly replied.
I squirmed and struggled, eyes wide and frightened as Kai picked me up and hauled me over his shoulder. I was terrified, my breaths short and quick. Things became sharper as adrenaline kicked in, and I noticed Kai's hair.
I'm sorry Kai, but your hair must be sacrificed. Besides, it's just hair.
Grabbing a spike of hair, I pulled as hard as I could and screamed.
"SOMEONE HELP ME STOP KAI!"
Kai yelped, dropping me in favor of his hair.
"That's my hair! You've gone too far!" Kai yelled back, but stopped his approach when Zane burst in.
"Kai, you must stop!"
"Lloyd didn't come to rescue you!" A voice laughed as they returned with full force.
"Why should I? All she's ever done is bad, even she admits that she should be jail!" Kai argued, turning away from me.
"She is a child! It is more criminal for you to be doing this!"
"I'm tired. See you later…" I whispered, exhausted.
Black took over.
I woke to see Lloyd curled up on a nearby chair. I was in another hotel room, as everything was bland and basic.
Was he crying?
"Of course he is. All you'll ever do is break his heart. Calling him an anchor to your life is stupid now."
I watched in silence, the atmosphere thick with depression.
"It's just like dad all over again…" Lloyd whimpered.
Remaining silent, I felt a tear of my own fall.
"We're all going to die." I whispered, knowing that I had broken the Ninja apart when they should have been nothing short of brothers.
"S-Starlord?" Lloyd stuttered as he noticed me.
"I'm a horrible person."
"Finally you admit it."
"You haven't noticed yet… Have you?" Lloyd quietly sobbed, looking down at my legs.
Oh god.
It was a cast, wrapping all up around my leg. I noticed the slight sting, realizing that when Kai hit me with the fireball… The mark would stay.
A complete illustration of what the scar would likely look like was perfectly drawn on the cast, almost looking like a paint splatter. Yet, it's edges changed from sharp and pointed to round and even flat. It went from my ankle to my knee on my left leg,
One small 'I'm sorry' was written on the bottom of the cast, written in red.
Kai.
"Oh."
"Starlord, I'm so sorry-"
"Ooh look! Pity! Even after you made Kai hate you so much that he scarred you!"
"Don't! Don't… Apologize. I don't deserve it." I interrupted. Lloyd inched back, falling silent. He slowly pulled out a letter.
"Cole wrote you something."
I took the letter, and started to read. It wasn't long at all, just four words.
Don't listen to them.
"You have no choice but to listen!"
"It's nice to know he understands." I smiled, but Lloyd knew me better than that.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself. You can't just lock yourself away!"
"Then what Lloyd? If I even try to open up, I will break all of your spirits! You cannot handle the history I carry, the lessons I have learned!"
"Yes we can!"
"Lloyd, I really don't want to hurt you, you're my brother! Your world is free of horror, why invite it?"
"No our world isn't free of villains. The Over-"
"The Overlord is not evil!" I shouted at Lloyd and he flinched back.
"What, you think he's good?"
"No! He is merely an idiot. If anything, he's just a nuisance. People wanting to take over the world? Had quite a few of them. I'd say that what he did was mild, as no one died. Not a single soul. But when my people tried to defeat one another… Let's just say Genghis Khan managed to kill one tenth or so of the world's population at that time. It's one statistic that always… Always reminds me of my lack of faith in the world at times." I sighed, and Lloyd scrambled back.
"T-the whole world population?" He shrieked, accidentally knocking over a chair in shock.
"Yes. Think about that Lloyd, let it sit. If you think the Overlord is bad, what has he done? Torture? Murder? What do you think that stupid brat is capable of, compared to me?" I paused a moment, realizing that wasn't the best to say.
"Look, I do what I do because I'm scared. Very, very scared. For myself, and everyone living here. When Kai gets on my case like that, it brings out the anger inside me, the fear. I can't stop, and I won't. I-I GOD! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" I screeched, starting to cry again.
"One t-tenth…" Lloyd muttered, slumping to the floor and curling up.
Insane. I was driving him insane.
Was I insane? Was I cursed, unable to tell right from wrong?
For once, I wasn't sure what to do. Thoughts were swirling, clashing with one another… A chaotic dance of self-hate and fear.
Lloyd's sobs suddenly became loud, and he scrambled into a corner. His eyes were locked on me, nothing but fear in his eyes.
Something wasn't right.
"Lloyd?" I hesitantly asked, and he tried to fit into the corner tighter.
"E-evil. Y-you h-have to b-b-be evil!" Lloyd sobbed, sadness pooling into the plain black eyes.
Before I could even make a response, he shot out of the room like a bullet, door hitting the wall harshly.
The bang from the door hurt my ears, and I jumped slightly in shock and surprise.
What just happened?
Is this my own personal torture?
Looking down at my cast again, I felt alone. The mailman wasn't working, I had no electronics, and Lloyd proclaimed me as evil.
I was shocked, unable to think of anything to say.
Heck, it was hard to think.
Blinking, I sat there unsure of myself and my decisions. I was an idiot, I signed up for something I couldn't handle. I was a young and naïeve child when I had started to observe the Ninja, but it seems that it has backfired on me.
Season three still wasn't ever yet, and I had already messed everything up.
"The strings of fate are falling apart, and I'm the one cutting them." I sighed, before sliding back down into the bed. This… This was too much for me right now. I needed some sleep.
When I awoke again, I found Garadon in the room. He looked pretty pissed, if his glare towards me was anything to go by. I only responded with a tired stare, exhausted from all the stress.
"I have met many manipulative people in my time. I have seen that darkest corners known and unknown to Ninjago. And yet you managed to be the one who broke my son!" He raged, slamming his staff against the ground harshly. I flinched, the noise scaring me slightly.
"He thought he could handle it, you know. I told him that he couldn't, that none of you could. And yet I still gave it to him to prove my point. Lloyd believes that my troubles are able to be handled, but no one in Ninjago has the power to. You are all too innocent… Even you. Forging a signature on a love letter is the least of anyone's problems on Earth. Should I enlighten you about the poor working conditions of the Industrial Age? Should I tell you that people started going insane thanks to lead poisoning? Should I tell you about the Middle Ages, where people began to perfect torture? Do you-"
"Stop! You are naught but a child!"
"Hah! Less than a generation ago I would have been old enough to work in a factory at ten!"
"Would your family and friends be proud of such behavior?"
That's the one that truly set me off.
"They may be dead Garmadon! My family is beyond a wall none can touch! Heck, even I am not proud of what I do! But I don't have a choice anymore! If I leave, you all will forget something or do something off and then there will be no one to do damage control! If I had never done this in the first place, maybe you all would be fine, but I cannot go back! To me, everyone is dead and I now represent the good and the bad of humanity! I am the ambassador of a dead world! If you think you've seen dark corners of the world, try looking down an alley and be afraid that you may die on the spot for a little bit of money!" I screeched, leaning back down onto the pillow and panting from exhaustion.
"My father is gone too, you know." Garmadon sighed, turning away from me.
"My home is gone. My friends, family, teachers, even the annoying kid down the block is gone. My literal body is gone too, stuffed into this one. I have had everything but my knowledge taken away from me, and even now as I grow older I forget things. I am the end of Earth, it's dying breath on the wind.
"Tell me Garmadon, what have you lost compared to a planet, a universe filled with infinite possibilities, the idea of going beyond our own solar system. Tell me, have you lost entire cultures and ideas? Have you lost billions of people all at once, unable to even see their bodies or have a funeral? Religions, history, ideas, science is all lost, while I only hold a fraction of Earth with me. Languages I never knew, lost to time. Tell me that you have lost more, tell me that I am only a child and that I have never faced loss! Tell all of that to me when you cannot even stand the idea of blood or violence." I sneered, and Garmadon shook slightly.
"Who takes care of you?"
"None of your business."
"You have torn my son's friends apart! You have broken my son! Even though you may have lost a lot, that only adds to the idea that you need to be sent home!"
"And what? If you died that day on the mountain, you would have never been able to fulfill your role in the future! Everyone needs you alive, otherwise the cursed would never come back and banish the imposters! I am the backup plan of everything!" I spat, hoping the old man would go away.
"There is more coming?" Garmadon shouted, turning to face me.
"Of course there is! What? Did you think that your world would just be peaceful forever? World peace is practically impossible!" I harshly replied, crossing my arms.
"Worl-" He was cut off by the hotel phone which automatically pulled up a hologram of Nya.
"You've got to come back to the tower quick, Kai's been captured!" She panicked through the phone before the hologram disappeared.
"Heh, better hope they get there in time. I'd hate for them to miss their flight. You had better get going." I angrily spoke, giving Garmadon a harsh glare.
He returned a glare just as strong, before swiftly walking out of the room.
I gave out a long sigh, sinking into the mattress.
There wasn't much time until Zane would face the Overlord, and somehow I would have to watch them with this stupid cast. I even told myself I wouldn't get injured like this again!
First of all, I needed to get to the Fortress of Solitude. It had the shield, so I wouldn't get killed by Napoleon with his god-powers. If didn't make it, I was certain that Pythor would be looking for revenge. Maybe he wouldn't kill me but I wasn't counting on that.
Secondly, I needed to learn how t move around with this stupid cast. If me being sore and had to be carried around was bad, now I needed crutches! A surge of determination passed through me, making me realize that waiting to get to the fortress was a bad idea. I needed to be there as soon as possible with my injury!
Inching out of the bed, I managed to hop down, but my leg spiked in pain. I hissed, clutching the cast harshly. It only made the pain worse, and I fell on the floor, yelping as I fell.
"Stupid Kai!" I screeched, reaching for my pack. I clutched it tightly, using it to push me up on one leg. Pulling it up, I hauled on top of my back, making it a challenge to stand on one foot. Already starting to get tired, I hobbled to the door, walking into the hallway. I found an elevator, my one leg becoming exhausted from the stress.
I hopped into the elevator, heading down to the main floor. I grabbed desperately onto the rail, using my arms to hold me up.
"What makes you think you'll make it? Chances are you might get hit by a car instead!" A voice laughed, and I brushed it off, tuning the noise out.
I couldn't die now.
Hopping out of the elevator, I was given some strange looks from people in the lobby, but I was left alone.
Good choices on their parts.
I hobbled out the front doors, searching for the temple. Then I realized there was probably a brochure with a map inside the hotel.
Groaning, I hobbled back inside and found a brochure. With my leg becoming weaker every step, grabbing this stupid map was an annoyance. I didn't want to have a repeat of this later, so I grabbed a small atlas of Ninjago. Getting lost was not on my list, and I had only gotten around before by following signs, or hitchhiking.
Going back outside, I opened the map and looked for the fortress. Unfortunately, it was about a mile and a half away.
"Come on!" I hissed, closing the map and heading in the direction of the fortress. The voices returned, but I paid no attention as I focused on limping to the fortress.
Yet, it still pained me to know I had been scarred by Kai, and that Zane was the one to defend me.
Why did it have to come to this?
Right. It was because I was willing to defend my knowledge at the cost of death. Funnily enough, it nearly felt like it came to that, and I had managed to keep quiet.
Still limping, I noticed the strange looks I was getting. People looked disturbed by my struggle, and I sighed. I was at least glad that despite my hood being black, they left me alone.
"Flip!" I screeched as I tripped over an innocent child's toy, landing on my cast.
Pain shot through my leg, throbbing and sharp. I hissed, holding it as the pain continued to spike. One guy came up to me, offering a ride on his bike carriage. I immediately accepted, glad that I was able to get there faster.
Hopping in, the man gently smiled and got on his bike.
"So, what's your name?" He kindly asked.
"Starlord. What's yours?" I politely responded, and the man shrugged.
"I'm Donard. It's strange to see the mysterious Starlord injured on the streets." Donard commented.
"Well, it's a bit of a long story. Let's just say that I'm not exactly a good person." I brushed away the intended question.
"You are a mystery to those of us in Ninjago, stories told by you are held high and there is even a team searching to find your identity." Donard pointed out, and I paled slightly.
A team was working to find my identity? If they were experts, they could find my patterns and plans for the future!
"I'm guessing they're not experts?" I asked, hoping that they weren't.
"No, just a couple of people who like to make conspiracies. Nothing has ever been found out about you." Donard said.
"If that's the case, then it seems like I'm in the clear. It's going to take a lot more than a couple of people in a basement to figure out who I am." I sighed, relieved. We rode a bit further, before I broke the ice again.
"Since you said my stories were held in high regard, would you like a story as payment or cash for kindly biking me to my destination?" I offhandedly asked, wondering what Donard would want.
"A story if you will, as I find them more interesting than the lure of money." Donard chose, and I nodded, despite him being unable to see me.
"Many years ago there were three kids who wanted to build rockets. However, they lived in a coal mining town..." I started, remembering the movie October Sky as best as I could.
As I finished my tale, we arrived at the fortress.
"Thank you for sharing your tales, they bring great interest to the public. After all, it seems your genres of tales have never been written.
Hah! Imagine if I were able to recall the tales of Shakespeare and write them down in old English, good luck to them for enjoying the books!
"Yes, well, thank you for the compliment. Thank you for biking me here, Donard. Farewell." I curtly replied, hopping up to the Fortress of Solitude as he biked away. Then I realized that these doors were huge, and I had practically no hope of opening one!
Deciding to try anyway, I grabbed onto the brass handle and pulled with all of my small bodyweight. Thank goodness that they didn't make the door handle too tall for short minifigures!
Slowly, inch by inch, the door moved to my wishes. It creaked loudly, and I swear I heard a few cracks, but it moved! As soon as I was able to squeeze through the door, I rushed inside, panting from the effort.
Crawling up against a nearby wall, I fell asleep.
"Starlord!" I heard a familiar voice shout. I groggily opened my eyes, only to see the face of Lloyd Garmadon.
"Weren't you supposed to be in space?" I tiredly asked, barely able to get the question out.
"The others are in space, I didn't make it in time." He sadly replied, and son my body became wide awake.
"WHAT! I FELL ASLEEP FOR A FEW HOURS AND THIS HAPPENS?" I screamed, slamming my fist against the ground. Lloyd flinched back, taking a good three steps away from me.
"Are you okay?" He reluctantly questioned, and I glared up.
"No I'm not! You're supposed to be up there with them! You're supposed to connect the build-your-own-rocket-kit and elemental shields! How are they supposed to get off of Arcturus if they can't connect the dots?" I screeched, panicking as I climbed onto my one good foot.
"Wait, you're injured! Stop!" Lloyd urged as he put his hands on my shoulders, trying to push me down gently.
"Do you have communications set up?" I demanded, and Lloyd nodded.
"Then let me talk to the Ninja, or they're never going to get off that chunk of rock!" I hissed, and Lloyd shook his head.
"I can't do that, you might stress them even more and cause them to be found!" Lloyd replied.
"Fine! Then you tell them that the scrap metal can be used to build a new rocket and their elemental shields will help them when they reach the atmosphere. Got it?" I informed, and Lloyd hesitantly nodded.
"You owe me one." He sighed, letting go of me and heading into a smaller room in the fortress.
Sighing, I curled back up on the floor, clutching my cast in stress.
It would be a lot harder to place little huts all over Ninjago if I had this stupid thing on. Along with trying to master all sorts of environments.
Challenge accepted I guess, as long as I can survive Zane's sacrifice.
Lloyd walked back in, sitting down across from me. Yet, I could still see his hand hovering over a small dagger painted on his outfit.
I didn't know what to say. What could I say to someone who I had broken so badly?
"Why do your people fight?" Lloyd whispered, and I looked at him.
Humans fought for the sake of their ideas, whatever their ruler asked of them.
"People fought because they thought it was right, or if their commander told them to. Maybe someone of authority had gotten killed, or perhaps a petty squabble. I cannot tell you everything that people fight for, Sometimes, people don't want to fight but they're forced to anyways. People are not inherently good, nor bad. Sometimes it just happens, but fighting is inevitable, despite our efforts to stop it." I answered, and Lloyd looked down in sadness.
"To kill so many… How do you even live with that on your history's past?" Lloyd sobbed, and I sighed.
"I don't know. We're just desensitized to it I suppose. We hear every day how someone is starving, or people die, or that someone is planning to make bigger weapons. It's just a part of our lives, unlike your world. It's so perfect here, and I always feel horrible for even existing here. I'd swear it's almost a crime for me to even be in anyone's presence here in this innocent land." I admitted.
"I thought you would've changed. After two years of living with you, I thought that maybe you had finally become a good guy. Maybe you'd be fighting for us. But I was wrong. You just keep helping the enemy. I can't stop you from doing whatever you want, but I can promise you that we aren't going to treat you with a welcome hug and a pat on the back." Lloyd warned, staring me straight in the eyes with a sense of disappointment.
"Well, I can't say I expected anything else." I sighed, looking down at my cast.
"I-I'm sorry about tha-" I cut his apology short.
"Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault. It was Kai's decision, and my own. Everyone has
choices Lloyd, I just… Somehow have a tendency to choose the bad decisions." I muttered.
"Why do you always seem to hate our attempts to connect to you, and then agree when we push you away?" Lloyd asked quietly, almost hesitant to ask.
I was hesitant to answer.
"Lloyd… I never expect you to treat me nicely. I don't want to treat myself nicely. I know I'm a horrible person for what I do, and I expect the golden rule to apply." I replied, scratching at my cast absentmindedly.
"You shouldn't hate yourself, Starlord." Lloyd firmly replied.
"Do you have any idea how many people of my world hated themselves? Do you know how many have succeeded where I have failed in my attempt? Self-hatred is not entirely normal, but it definitely happens much more than you think, Lloyd. I am lucky enough to exist in a world where no one is willing to kill." I snapped back, my mood darkening. Lloyd was silent for a moment, processing what I said.
"I hope one day that you can change, Starlord." He softly responded, walking away from me with soft click-clacks of his feet.
I pulled out my personal journal, wishing to look back at what I used to be.
Being with Lloyd and Vastu is amazing, I feel like I have a family! Of course, Lloyd knows nothing of my knowledge, and just doesn't understand like Vastu does. Lloyd is much more sensitive too, and it's like carrying a wine glass on my head. I make one wrong move and he shatters. I don't mean to be… Well, mean. I tell him the truth when asked, just nothing of the future. Luckily, he hasn't asked me about that.
I can tell the want to die is fading slightly, but I still have the want to protect my secret with my life. Honestly, I don't want it to escalate that far. I like being peaceful and having fun! It's just… I have no other choice. In a way I'm practically pledging myself to Ninjago and Earth at the same time, no matter how short my pledge to Ninjago may be.
It's scary knowing that maybe someday I will have to risk my life for everyone to be safe. Yet, no one will ever know what I'm hiding and how much it hurts. Hurting is normal right? Isn't this how you're supposed to feel when you do something bad?
Stupid emotions…
I closed the journal, looking down at the brown cover.
"Fading huh? Isn't that quite the lie!" A voice whispered.
"It was fading until I had to make some important decisions." I hissed back, and the voice merely chuckled.
"A master liar, even to yourself!" The voice lowly replied, fading away.
At least it wasn't here for long.
Then a flash of green raced out of the room nearby, scrambling to get out of the front doors.
"Looks like Napoleon took home the gold on that asteroid." I noted, standing up carefully.
Sensei Garmadon rushed out too, yelling for Lloyd to wait. I blinked dumbly as they both left, but I could only hope they would return.
If they didn't, well… I wasn't sure what would happen.
Limping on my one good foot, I hopped into the computer room where Misako and Nya were still present.
"I thought Lloyd had said he would keep you out of this room." Misako pointed out with a bit of surprise.
"I already knew what was in here, I just came in to make sure that the others are either on their way, or know what to do." I spoke, briefly looking at all of the machinery. There were no cameras with the Ninja, so I would have to ask.
Dang it.
"Nya, have the Ninja managed to find a way off the asteroid? I know their ship crashed thanks to the metal eating bugs." I questioned, and she gave me a look of suspicion.
"No… Do you have a better idea?" She lowly snapped back, and I smiled underneath my hood.
"I guess Lloyd didn't send the message, or they didn't get it. Simply put, their scrap pile of metal can be used to get off the asteroid, while each of their elements and expertise help them build the machine. It can run off of Zane's power source, and once they start burning up in the atmosphere, they can use their elemental shields to safely land. Got it? Good." I quickly responded, a little proud I had outwitted her a little.
"Since when were you the one coming up with escape plans?" Cole spoke through the speaker, and I froze.
Nya had her hand on the talk button, and I had not noticed.
"If you're going to stay here, might as well talk." Nya smirked and I growled, limping over to do so.
"I've been thinking of many different scenarios about this long before you did. It just seems like you needed a push, which should not have been necessary." I calmly replied, trying to stop the bubbling panic in my chest from showing.
The panic was like a million tons of explosives booming inside of me, and yet I was barely able to hide it.
"Well, she's at least got a point with the idea. If we can make a miniature rocket with what's left of the old one, we can get off this piece of rock!" Jay exclaimed.
"And by my calculations, it should work with a small margin!" Zane put in his own two cents.
"If Zane says it'll be alright, I trust him." Kai simply spoke, not wanting to respond to me.
"I'm glad. Now build it and get back here before Lloyd and his dad do something we'll regret." I asserted the group, and started to leave.
"Now wait just a minute. I didn't ask you to just say two things, I want you all to talk this out. I know you've done some pretty nasty stuff, but I believe in you, and I want you to make an effort to change!" Nya ordered. I huffed, but limped back over nonetheless. I had no quarrels with her, and if what she said was true… Maybe I still had a chance to stick around.
"Fine. I'll make small talk." I hesitantly agreed, trying to think of something to say. Then I thought of it.
"You're the first people that I know of to be on an asteroid. We've only been to the moon and back. Otherwise, robots explore the things in space we cannot." I started.
"Wait, so you guys have never been onto an asteroid before?" Kai repeated.
"Only a robot has. We don't have anything that would move fast enough to get us there quickly, or big and strong enough to carry enough supplies. How you managed to make it so far up there is beyond me. Physics isn't supposed to allow that kind of stuff." I shrugged.
"Physics is a very complicated subject, I fail to see how you would know about it." Zane noted. I laughed.
"You have no idea how much I used to love science! I knew that there was an inner and outer core to Earth four years before I was taught it properly in fifth grade! I even knew about the magnetic field protecting everyone from deadly radiation from the sun long before any teacher mentioned it! I loved watching educational science shows about meteorology, astronomy, and geology when I was younger. I knew a lot for a kid." I reminisced.
"Is that what you would do in your spare time?" Cole asked.
"Yeah. I loved technology and science much more than your average girl. I practically absorbed it whenever I researched it. You should've seen how excited I got when I heard about a new technology." I became a little happier, thinking about how much I would squeal when I heard of a new major scientific breakthrough.
"So what was your new technology?" Jay wondered, and I hummed in thought.
"Well, we were working on Stem Cell research, which basically is a cell that can change into anything it needs to be. We also researched Crispr, which made genetic modification cheap and easy. AI left a lot to be desired, but we were working on that too. There was a whole lot I wished I would get to see. I loved physics and science, heck I even remember a video that was created using mere atoms! Like, maybe one hundred atoms at most. Haha, I miss that." I explained, becoming a bit more down at the end.
"Genetic modification? On people?" Kai worriedly squeaked. I cringed back in almost offense from that statement.
"No! We never went that far. Maybe someday, to fix genetic diseases, but the most complicated things we did genetic modification on were plants! We're not crazy to jump for results by skipping testing!" I practically shrieked, it felt like an insult. Didn't know specifically why, but it felt wrong.
"Okay, he hit a nerve, got it. What else did you like to do?" Cole butted in, trying to calm me down.
"I didn't do much in my free time. Honestly I usually just watched TV or read books. Of course, I could go a little crazy from time to time and scream memes at my friends, but otherwise? Everything was a routine. Wake up, eat, get ready, school, lunch and scream, school, go home, do homework, sleep. I did have vacations, and those were amazing, but I viewed life as a routine to follow. School grades determined my worth, and I was able to change into almost anything people may have wanted. Still, I had a better outlook on life than most." I admitted, and no one responded for a while.
"Your dimension doesn't sound nice, if that's the kind of view you had." Jay muttered.
"There was good and bad." I replied, not wanting to talk about it. We continued to chat, until Lloyd and his dad burst in, both breathing heavily.
"The Overlord is taking over the city!" Lloyd huffed out worriedly, tired alongside his old father. I looked at him sharply, before turning to the microphone.
"Get off that asteroid, now! The people of Ninjago need you down here, and we cannot afford any of you not being here!" I ordered, and the Ninja only gave a short 'copy,' before they began hurriedly getting into their crudely made spaceship.
Nya and Misako scrambled to get systems working, as the Ninja had stopped broadcasting. Lloyd and his dad rushed in, still out of breath. I struggled to find something to do in the chaos, so I opted to watch like I used to.
It had been a long time since I could watch them and they wouldn't notice.
Lloyd and his dad began to drag out armor, while Nya was desperately trying to find their ship and coordinates. Misako was attempting to find where they would approximately land, ignoring the plan I had given to the Ninja earlier.
They were all panicking, while I maintained my cool.
I had to, I had to look like I didn't care.
Because the moment I did, the pain of Zane's sacrifice would cut that much deeper.
Limping over to the door, not wanting to be around the chaos. Of course, there was nothing but frantic screams and fear outside. I'd rather deal with the noises forcing their way in than the people making noise inside.
I breathed out a sigh of relief as no one came out after me.
A crash and the sound of hurried footsteps proved me quite wrong as everyone burst out of the room and outside, getting into vehicles and driving away in a panic. I blinked in confusion and surprise, before shaking my head to clear my mind.
I went to the open door to close it when I saw Borg tiredly rolling his way up to the stairs. I walked down to help him, as he I planned him to be here anyway. Still, memories were fading over the years, and the little details slipped my mind occasionally.
Nodding in greeting, I stepped behind him, hesitating to help. I felt I was pushing a limit, so I stopped my actions, and knew I needed to ask permission first.
"Would you allow me to help you up the stairs?" I asked awkwardly.
"Any help would be appreciated, I don't think that a plain wheelchair is able to get up those stairs!" He tried to make light of the situation. I took it as consent, putting my hands on the wheelchair handles and pushing him up the stairs carefully. Still, I felt strange pushing him up the stairs.
It took me a moment to realize why. It was an act of trust, letting me guide him where he could not move himself. Once I pushed him to the top, I let go quickly, pulling my hands to my chest in unease. Such blind trust was never present in normal people, or at least the people I knew.
"Are you alright? You seem distressed." Borg noted, turning to face me.
"I… I don't know if you understand what that felt like to me." I whispered, still rubbing my hands together in a sort of unnecessary guilt.
"I'm afraid I might not be getting the same message as you may be intending." Borg replied.
"You trusted me enough to guide you where could not on your own. It is a sign of complete trust in me, yet I do not do enough 'good' to seem worthy of it. Such a jump in trust… Is not something I am used to. Please, understand me and my past first before you jump ahead so far." I hesitantly answered, and Borg silently nodded, not pressing the issue any further.
Entering the fortress in silence, Borg wheeled himself into the room where the others had abandoned their electronics. I limped to the other side of the fortress, still holding my hands close to my chest.
I did not like the sudden action of trust. It was not normal for me.
Trying to distract myself, I was at least glad that cartoon logic kicked in and now let me limp without much pain. The soreness once present in my legs was no more, and I was able to hop around well.
Thank you cartoon logic!
The fact that I would be able to move around, despite it being a bit of a limp, was relieving. How it worked, I would never know, and I was not inclined to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Then Wu and Garmadon rushed into the building, holding open the door for the Ninja, and the Overlord doing spinjitzu behind them. It was a show of power, wanting to slowly trap them within the golden strands.
Yet, they were almost sloppier than I remembered. As if something was making it falter, an anomaly it could not overcome. I felt responsible and limped back slightly. Yes, time was falling apart now. There was no stopping it. No matter what I do now, the timeline will forever be changed.
And it was my fault.
"Of course it's your fault. No one new had entered the equation until you came along! Worthless you are!" A voice hissed, but I did not disagree with it. I ignored it, just like I ignored everything else.
I did not realize that time had passed until I saw Lloyd in front of me, still holding the armor. He hadn't put it on?
"If I put this armor on, that means you must promise to tell us how you knew to make that plan. No vague things, no lies, nothing but the cold hard truth." He demanded, but I could still see his slight shaking.
"I am not obligated to do so." I replied in a daze, not paying full attention.
"Then I will break this and you'll never know if I come out okay!" Lloyd shouted in a sad and angry rush, lifting the armor to smash it.
"NO!" I screamed grabbing at his arm with all my strength.
"Then promise me!" He demanded, and I fell down to my knees, the cast aching a little.
"You know I can't! I can't I can't I can't! I'll break myself if I do!" I screeched, and everyone was staring at us. Yet, no one made a move to separate us, not even Garmadon did.
"It can't possibly be worse than losing me can it?" Lloyd quietly asked, and I screamed louder.
"IF I SAY IT, I WILL LOSE YOU! I'LL LOSE EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM, AND NINJAGO WILL DIE!" I shrieked with all of my might, tears starting to be absorbed into my hood.
"I'm going to die. I knew it. They knew it. I'll fight 'till I die but they know I'm going to die and I'll never be able to get away." I sobbed, curling up at Lloyd's feet.
"If you won't let me smash it, and you won't promise, then you take it." He coldly dropped the armor, leaving it and rushing outside.
"You don't understand! You'll get hurt and maybe even die without the armor! STOP LLOYD!" I begged, crying for him to come back and put the armor on. I turned around fast enough to nearly fall, and I hopped right up to Kai, pulling him by the collar to my height.
"Help him!"
"Wha-"
"HELP HIM, HE LOOKS UP TO YOU HELP HIM PLEASE I CAN'T HAVE HIM DIE!" I demanded, and he looked at the others in panic.
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? HELP HIM, PROTECT HIM!" I ordered, limping away after Lloyd. Then the others rushed out, Kai picking up the armor for Lloyd, while I was left behind due to my injured leg.
Still, I pushed through to get to the battle. There were Nindroids everywhere, but they paid no mind. To them I was injured, practically already filled with enough fear in their eyes.
And really, I was filled with fear, because now was the moment I had been dreading for so long. It was time for Zane to make the ultimate sacrifice, his death to protect everyone on Ninjago.
But Lloyd's time was not here yet, and I could not allow him to die.
I wandered into the battle, right when Wu hit the shrinking pill towards the Overlord. Pythor took the blow, loyal to the Overlord and his plans. The Overlord was practically god now. Even that pill likely wouldn't have done anything.
"Is that it? Is that ALL YOU'VE GOT?" The Overlord taunted, picking up everyone by golden web strings.
Lloyd still didn't have the armor on.
Lloyd still didn't have the armor on.
Lloyd still didn't have the armor on!
"You! You meddling child! No matter how you may be immune to Dark Matter, I will crush you slowly and painfully!"
Zane wasn't free either.
OH GOD I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.
LLOYD WAS GOING TO DIE.
EVERYONE WAS GOING TO DIE AND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!
In a last attempt of defiance, I bit at the web string slowly squeezing me to death. Somehow, I managed to bite some of the energy out, and I continued to bite, my hood being a major nuisance.
Then as soon as I cut the joint between the coil around me and what held me up, I began to fall towards the ground. I vaguely heard screams that weren't my own, but I paid more attention to trying to survive and get Zane free.
Freeing myself of the bonds, I grabbed onto a lower string, and it bounced me back upwards, with me still screaming and dizzier than a merry-go-round.
I grabbed onto a string below the Ninja, and I was desperately trying to hold on and not die while being swatted at by golden strings.
Left, dodge.
Right, duck.
Under, jump and climb up.
I repeated this until I managed to get to Zane, eating away at the golden web. I felt a strange tingle, and my cast became even number.
Everything started to become numb.
Still, I ate at the thick strand and hoped this would work. As soon as I bit through, Lloyd started screaming, his screams as if someone were taking his breath away.
I turned to look at him, and the sight scared me more than the Overlord being god. Lloyd was slowly being crushed, and I whispered something to Zane.
"Don't forget who you are. Do not be afraid, I know you'll come back." I softly spoke, before diving after Lloyd, but the Overlord was not going to let him go so easily.
"I will not let the one thing that has thwarted my ancient plans escape my grasp again!" The Overlord screeched, tearing Lloyd away from me, and sending double the webs my way.
I screamed in defiance, tearing off my cast and exposing my numb leg and scar. It looked ugly against my yellow skin, a dark brown color as it pulsed and throbbed, but I felt nothing. I straight up pool dived towards Lloyd, grabbing onto the golden strand with all of my upper body strength. I bit into it quickly, biting and spitting to avoid wasting time swallowing the flavorless gold.
I could feel the strand I was eating away at was tightening, coiling around Lloyd even harder the longer I couldn't bite through. Lloyd had stopped screaming, barely able to get air at all. With one last soft jello-like squish, I had eaten through the entire web. We fell onto another string, climbing and holding onto it for dear life.
And Zane made his final decision. Jumping towards the Overlord with his friends support, Zane grabbed onto the golden armor surrounding the dark presence. Zane glowed bright blue, but he was not clear like his true potential was. It was an icy blue that radiated from him, but only an external energy rather than energy from the heart.
"Let.. My friends… Go!" Zane demanded, struggling to talk through the energy spiking through him. The golden weapons were not meant to be taken all at once, and it was too much even for Zane the nindroid.
The web strand beneath me and Lloyd turned green, and I swung on the string with strength I didn't know I had. Somehow I was able to hold Lloyd up too, as he was still out of breath and making sure that there were no serious injuries.
Landing near the small cluster of Ninja who had also been freed, I held Lloyd up like he once did for me, though the height difference was a bit of an obstacle. I vaguely heard 'your survival chance is zero' behind me, but the icestorm being created by Zane blocked out most of the sound between the two.
"Wait… He's not letting go of him!" Kai pointed out, and my heart sank to the Earth.
"Let go of him Zane!" Jay screeched with all of his might.
"It's not worth it!" Cole shouted, but to no avail.
"What is he doing?" Kai loudly asked.
"He's protecting us from the Overlord! We have to get underground!" I replied, the sound of the icestorm whistling loudly in my ears. Dragging Lloyd away from the sight of his friend's death, I managed to put him on my back and one footed-ly hop down the sewer ladder. The other eventually followed, but none of them willingly.
They hid underneath the hubcap of the sewer, all of them worried beyond belief. How could I blame them? Their friend was dying right before their eyes, and they couldn't do anything to stop him.
"He isn't going to be okay, is he?" Cole whispered, more to himself than anything. I didn't plan on answering him.
"Zane will be rebuilt." I replied, but I didn't want to. It was as if I was forced to reply to the question, no matter who spoke.
"What did you say?" Cole looked down at me, and I flinched back. I felt my mouth move open against my will, and I slammed my mouth onto the ladder bar. The answer was muffled, which I was glad for, but Cole gave me a weird look. Then the hubcap froze over, and a slight gasp escaped everyone, including me. It was a sign that it was over.
That Zane's first life was over.
Kai put fire to the cover, heating up the ice around it before pushing it off. We climbed up, and Lloyd finally was able to walk on his own. However, he still shook as he walked on the ice. I looked at the ice-covered city, and put my head down.
I watched as Kai was the one to pick up Zane's last remnant the half of his face that had fallen off during the storm. I dared not speak, for fear of breaking the shocked silence. Nya began to cry alongside P.I.X.A.L., both grieving over the sudden loss of Zane.
I took a step back, before walking silently away. I knew that the silence would break soon, and maybe a few of my bones if I stayed. Then I heard the violent whisper of Kai as he stood behind me, his shadow falling in front of me.
"Did you know about this?" Kai demanded quietly, and I put a hand to my mouth in an attempt to muffle my words.
Kai snapped, this time with fury unmatched. The loss of such an important piece of his life, was a pain he could only take out in the one way he knew how.
My pack slammed against the ground as he tackled me down with all of his sadness and anger at me.
"Tell me! Did you know about this?" He screeched, holding my hands away so that I could not block the answer. Even my hood refused to stop me, no matter how much I hoped it would.
"Yes."
A cry of loss escaped his lips, as he punched me with a fire-covered hand on my mask, and I could feel it on fire. I struggled with all of my might, trying to put out the fire before it would scar my face.
"KAI!" Lloyd tackled my attacker, and I pressed my mask against the ice harshly, hearing the frozen water sizzle under the heat. Scrambling to my feet, Kai screamed out at me again.
"How could you possibly even know?" He sobbed as Lloyd held him down. The answer came out again, but this time I had a hand to muffle it. The urge to always answer was fading slightly, but I felt it would persist likely for the next five to ten minutes. That was still too long! I was still vulnerable to whatever the golden power had done to me.
Cole walked up to me as I tried to back away, and he managed to corner me between two ice spires. I struggled to look for some way out, I would easily be defeated by his strength! I slammed my desperate fists against the ice, but they stood against me. A testament to Zane's strength, but turned against me.
"What color is snow?" Cole asked, and I looked at him in fearful confusion.
"Snow is merely ice crystals, they are clear but are reflective and bounce off the sun's rays, but they can also act like prisms." I replied, unable to stop and not wanting to out of confusion.
"You can't lie can you? Tell me a lie!" Cole pointed out, and now I realized why the answers were being pushed out of me.
"I am unsure if I can lie. Your gi is…. Is… Blu-ack!" The truth came out with force, refusing to let me lie.
Cole's calm demeanor snapped, the loss putting him over the edge too, and Lloyd wailed in self-hate and fear as he held Kai down. He had to watch me get pushed against the wall behind me, and with no way to defend the answer from coming out. I cried, knowing this might be the end.
I'd have to die now, or I'd tell and then kill myself. There was no other way now.
Cole opened his mouth to speak the dreaded question. I slammed my head against his, and he reeled back slightly, just enough for me to get one of my hands out.
My stabbing hand.
I reached for my pen desperately, knowing if I tried to hit him he'd catch me before I hit him. He was a Ninja after all, reflexes and strength included.
So I aimed for the least expected place.
My own heart.
Pain shot through me, and I screamed as I hit between the ridges of my ribs. I don't think I hit the heart, but I hit my lung and I easily punctured it. Blood flew inside, replacing the precious air I screamed away.
Cole dropped me and the world faded away painfully, only seeing a black and green blob.
Yeah, I think that suicide is going to be a common theme with Myrana at this point. And for this season, I think I'm getting a bit better at 'show don't tell.' I've been more experimental with dialogue, no longer adding 'Name said this' after every line. Still, I hope to improve the more I write, and I hope you liked this super chapter!
Review, favorite, follow, share, whatever. HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS OR PREFERRED HOLIDAY! :D
