When Penny woke up the next morning, Sheldon was already up and soaking in the fluid-filled depression that they referred to as their bathtub. Stretching, she padded over to the pool and slipped in beside him.

"Good morning, sweetie," she said, leaning over to kiss him.

To her surprise, he leaned back, avoiding her affectionate gesture. Her heart sank as he said seriously, "Penny, there is something important which we need to discuss."

She sank down in the blue fluid until it rose to cover her chest. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked in a low voice, not meeting his gaze.

For her, last night had been amazing in a way she had never experienced before. She usually had sex just for fun. But Sheldon's trust in her made what transpired between them something she would always remember and cherish. He had been awkward and unsure at first. She had to work to rein in her "big ol' five" impulses. Instead, she allowed him to take the lead and exorcise the demons of his past. It hadn't been about her or what she wanted. The second time, he'd asked her to show him how to touch her, how to make her body respond to him. He didn't have to do that, and she knew he was making a sacrifice for her, fighting to overcome his aversion to germs and touching. But now, just a few hours later, he was giving her the "we need to talk" speech. Had he changed his mind already? Could he really just pretend they hadn't slept together? Penny was sure she couldn't compartmentalize her life that easily.

"Our decision to have intercourse yesterday was an impulsive, emotional decision that was ill-considered. I… we were remiss in not weighing certain factors which could have portentous consequences for our future, such as it is. Please understand that when I say we should not repeat yesterday's actions, I do so with a certain amount of regret."

"In English, Sheldon," Penny said tiredly, looking away so he wouldn't see that tears were once more brimming in her eyes. "Why don't you...why don't you want to have sex again?" She had almost slipped up and said, "Why don't you want me?" It didn't matter how he phrased it, his words sounded like a rejection, like every other guy who had taken what he wanted from her and then ditched her.

He fidgeted a little and looked away. "I desire you, not just for coitus but for the intimacy which it has lent to our... friendship. Abstinence has suddenly become an unappealing prospect, and yet as a logical person, I cannot allow that intimacy to continue because of the risks which it presents to you."

"I don't understand. What risks?" Penny asked.

"During the time we have been here, it has become obvious to me that our captors have somehow altered your normal menstrual cycle."

Penny nostrils flared and she crossed her arms, a sure sign that she was not pleased he had brought up this particular topic. It was true; she hadn't had a period the whole time they'd been prisoners. It was something which made her feel both relieved and alarmed.

He continued, "I must consider the possibility that our captors have somehow altered your hormonal cycle in the hopes that we would reproduce. Even if that is not the case, they have given us only the most basic level of care, which may not suffice if you became pregnant."

"Oh." Her eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "So it really isn't me; you're just afraid you'll knock me up? That's kind of sweet—twisted, but sweet," Penny said with a tremulous smile. She took a deep breath. "Look, Sheldon, there's something I need to tell you. You told me your big secret yesterday, so I guess it's my turn."

He looked at her quizzically, and she found herself suddenly unable to meet his eyes as she confessed, "I can't have kids."

He stared at her, speechless for a moment, considering all the implications. Finally, he asked, "Are you certain? On what are you basing this assumption?"

"It's not an assumption," she answered. "When I was in high school, I was... well, let's just say I was a little wild. I took a lot of stupid risks. I once told Leonard I had a pregnancy scare when I was sixteen." She met his eyes, gauging his reaction. When he didn't scold her or insult her, she continued. "I didn't know how to tell him the rest of the story. A few months after the pregnancy scare, I started having some, you know, female problems. I knew something was wrong, but I thought if I ignored it, maybe it would go away on its own. Instead, it got worse. Finally, I had one of my friends take me to the free clinic on the other side of town. The doctor told me that I had an STD. Because the infection had gone untreated for so long, there was a lot of scarring." She drew a hand across her eyes, wiping away the moisture that threatened to spill over. "When I went to other doctors later, they all told me the same thing. I probably won't ever get pregnant, and if I did, I wouldn't be able to carry the baby to term."

"So am I to understand that Leonard was unaware of your infertility?" he asked.

Penny winced a little at his blunt words. "I told you it was my biggest secret," she said quietly. "You're now the second person in the world who knows, besides my friend who drove me to the clinic. I think the only reason I could even bring myself to tell you now is that it's hopeless, isn't it? We're never going to see our friends or families again. And now you probably hate me for upsetting you and lying to your best friend."

Sheldon reached over and delicately laid a hand on her shoulder. "If you have confided this to me a number of months ago, it would have put me in a very difficult position. You know I'm incapable of keeping secrets. But you are in danger of letting your past experiences dictate your present behavior, which is exactly what I was doing. If I can make a conscious choice to abandon that fear, then I believe you are capable—more capable than I—of doing the same. Of course, I don't hate you."

She leaned against him and reveled in the comfort she derived from his presence. "Was that a compliment, Dr. Cooper?" she asked with a smirk.

"Yes. I believe I have experienced a paradigm shift. After I told you about my ordeal in Germany, you didn't mock me or treat me with disdain. Your kindness and acceptance are two of your many qualities which I have come to admire, and through those traits, you helped me accomplish what months of intensive psychotherapy could not. I see now that acknowledging your strengths does not diminish my own."

She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You know, getting compliments from you kind of makes me hot." Sheldon often didn't "get" idioms, but he soon realized exactly what she meant. He decided that he could be persuaded to start paying her compliments more often.


Coitus changed their relationship slowly and subtly. Sheldon was musing over this idea one morning as he was lying next to Penny. He was usually the first to wake, and this was his time for introspection. She stirred without rousing as she slept with her arm across his chest and her legs tangled with his. He lay quietly for some time, thinking about the feeling of her hair feathering over his arm and listening to the gentle susurration of her breathing. He wasn't sure when her touch had become welcome, but he knew the change in his mindset must have begun sometime before the alteration in their relationship paradigm. They had been lovers for approximately eighteen days and twelve hours. Shortly after their first time together, he had asked her to define their new relationship status. Would she consider them to be dating? She had laughed at him, and for a moment, he had been offended. Then she commented sadly that they could hardly call it dating, as there was no place they could go on a date. That much was obvious, but he still felt a need to classify, quantify and label everything. After all, he was still a scientist, even without his computer and whiteboards. Penny had given him a little smile and told him it really didn't matter. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but then she kissed him, drew him back to their alcove and distracted him in a very pleasant fashion.

He remember that he had once told Penny he loved her. At the time, he hadn't meant it in a romantic sense, but still, it was a sentiment he had only ever expressed to his mother, his sister, and his Meemaw. It had happened after a particularly trying evening spent with Amy, when she had once again been attempting to "fix" him. That instance perfectly illustrated the difference between Amy and Penny. Penny would trade insults with him, but she accepted him the way he was. It dawned on him with a feeling akin to shock that Amy had been trying to force him to be the kind of boyfriend that she wanted. Like two puzzle pieces that didn't quite match, she thought if she could just remove the parts she didn't like and add what she wanted, then they would fit together. Penny, with her acceptance and respect for him, had created an environment into which he wanted to belong, for which he was willing to make some changes while still being true to himself. Penny had called him brave, while his friends had always mocked his celibacy mercilessly, not understanding what held him back. But her love had finally given him the freedom to conquer his fears. He discovered that with someone like Penny, someone so kind and open and giving, sex could actually be something amazing and beautiful instead of something scary and distasteful. He only wished there were some way he could repay her for everything she had done for him.


Penny woke that same morning with troubled thoughts. She'd had a vivid dream where she had been trying to seduce an oblivious Sheldon as he scribbled away at a whiteboard. It didn't take a beautiful-mind genius to figure out what that meant. She didn't know where she stood with Sheldon. In all of her previous relationships, she knew what her role was. She was the hot chick. It didn't matter that she wasn't smart, talented or successful; men wanted her for her face and figure. But when she took a good hard look at her life, she was just a waitress who struggled to pay her bills and spent too much money on wine and designer shoes in order to feel better about herself.

Leonard had been her safety net. She had always dated hot guys, who dumped her when someone hotter came along, or cheated on her like Kurt did. When she started dating Leonard, she realized that here was someone who would never leave her. Sure, he was needy, but for a time that was exactly what she wanted. His over-eager attentions were a flattering sop to her dwindling self-esteem. Later, Wil Wheaton's words made her realize that she didn't really love Leonard, and she tried to do the right thing. But almost two years later, he was still pining for her, and her acting career was a bad joke, so she had agreed to his beta test idea. Then he kept pressuring her for more. First he wanted her to say she loved him, and then he wanted to get engaged. So she started following her mother's example, drinking to smooth over the problems in a relationship… or maybe to help her ignore them. She had always wanted to be strong and independent like her father, but now she could see she had been sliding into her mother's way of dealing with life.

Now, she was in this weird, undefined relationship with Sheldon. He seemed to enjoy sex as much as the next man, and when she awoke in the middle of the night, he was often holding her in his arms. And she now knew more about him than anyone else she had ever known. But did those things add up to a real relationship? What did Sheldon see in her? Did he think of this as some sort of friends-with-benefits arrangement? A few days after they had started sleeping together, Sheldon had asked her if they were dating. She had laughed at him. She knew it was a mistake when she saw the look on his face, but honestly, two people turning to each other for comfort while they were literally locked up together was about as far from the idea of dating as you could get. She was fairly certain that if there had been a whiteboard in the room, Sheldon would have never even felt the need to talk to her.

"This would've never happened between us if we were back in our old lives in Pasadena, would it?" she murmured wistfully. She spoke aloud, and although she hadn't been specifically addressing Sheldon, he was right beside her, and his exceptional hearing caught her words. His answer confirmed her fears.

"I calculate the odds of such an occurrence to be almost infinitesimally small," he replied after a moment, not realizing what had prompted her question.

It was times like that when she was almost glad she had given up hope of ever getting home.