All Unwritten

By Dragon's Daughter 1980

Disclaimer: I'm playing in the sandbox. That's it.

Author's Note: I'm still alive and kicking. Barely.

Prompt: All I could do …


"GO!"

All I could do was run, because that was what she wanted me to do. With every step I took, I knew I was abandoning her to a fate worse than death. I cursed myself as we fled from the Asurans and made a vow: I would do everything I could to save her. All I could do for her was never give up until I had found her and brought her home, and make sure our people didn't give up either.

All I could do was watch them leave, one dragging the other away, anguish in both their expressions. I knew they didn't want to leave me behind, and I didn't want to stay behind either, but none of us were going to survive if I didn't do this, so I stayed and told them to go. His eyes swore to me that he would come back for me and I tucked that expression into the depths of my mind. All I could do now was fight for my survival and do my best to escape before he had to rescue me.


"Elizabeth?"

All I could do was stare at the familiar faces, drinking in the sight of them standing in front of me, alive and whole, unbloodied and healthy. Their expressions ranged from shocked to delighted, with caution shading their disbelief. Words failed me, perhaps not for the last time in my life, but I could hardly care. A part of me wanted to sob with joy; another to fall on my knees in gratitude that I would be safe and home soon; another to flee because I'd changed, maybe too much to ever go back home; another to run forward to embrace them all, to make sure this wasn't a dream. All I could do was stand there, my handiwork falling out of my slack hands, fluttering to the ground.

All I could do was breathe out her name into the air, torn between gratitude that she was alive, fearful that it was all just a case of mistaken identity, or worse, trickery. It was a little deafening when they followed my lead at louder decibels, but I knew it didn't matter. We already had her attention. A part of me wanted to run forward and gather her up in my arms, kiss her senseless and take her home right now; another was wary of a trap, a trick whose best outcome would merely rend my heart in two and at worst, kill her people, the people I'd sworn to protect in her stead. Another part of me just wanted run from here, in shame, because I didn't save her from her torment, because I had left her behind and never went back for her. I stared at her expression, watching the disbelief and hope swirl in her weary eyes, and saw the same woman I had bid a silent goodbye to too long ago. All I could do was stand there, my hands half-resting on my weapon, ready to hurt her if I had to, ready to welcome her home.


"Yes."

All I could do was not tremble as I knelt down in front of her, my hand steady as I offered her the small leather box and began to speak, using words that I had rehearsed over and over to get them perfect. What spilled out past my lips were poor ghosts of those phrases, but I knew it didn't matter; the question was still the same, the meaning still sincere. She stared at me, her eyes glistening in the light of the rising sun by the time I was finished. I knew that she knew that my reputation as a maverick was over-exaggerated, but judging by the shocked expression on her face, she still hadn't expected the degree of traditionalism I was displaying now as I knelt in front of her, asking for her hand in marriage. I waited for a breathless moment before her answer drifted past my ear. All I could do was pull her into my arms and kiss her breathless, telling her everything that I wanted to say but had no words to say them with, and knowing that she knew anyway.

All I could do was stand there, staring at him in shock as his question flowed over me. He had brought me here to our balcony, as he often had in the months past, to watch the sunrise with me. I had thought nothing of it since it was our ritual to savor the peace of the city and the start of a new day together on this balcony whenever he wasn't off-world. I hadn't expected this, not here at any rate, not where anyone walking past the sliding doors in these early hours of the morning could have seen us. Then again, we were an open secret, and had been for years. If anyone saw us at that moment, they would have only offered their blessings for our happiness. When he dropped to one knee, his eyes earnest and loving as he looked into mine, his voice tripping and stumbling as he spoke, his hands gently handing me a ring case, I knew that this moment had been long in coming, but everything that had happened in my life, our lives, was worth the wait. There was no doubt of what was between us, of the strength and love we shared. Marriage would be an adventure, with its highs and lows, but it would be worth it to wake up next to him every morning, fall asleep in his arms every night, and know that I was loved, unconditionally. I remembered to choke out an answer before I could start crying. The first tear though, never had a chance to fall as he pulled me close. All I could do was pour all my love into our first kiss as an engaged couple, letting him know all I could not say, and knowing that he knew what I felt anyway.


"Ready?"

All I could do was calm my breathing and relax my trembling muscles as he took my hand. I smiled at him, still handsome and charming in his Air Force dress blues as he was in his daily uniform, perhaps even more devastatingly so. I fell in love with the ordinary man he was, even though he was extraordinary in so many ways. He grinned back at me, laugh lines wrinkling at the corners of his eyes, a second chance for both of us, in more ways than one. My father had always told me that he wanted me to marry a man who would love me for the strong woman I am — hardheaded and stubborn on the worst of days, strong-willed and determined on the best— a man who would not only support and care for me, but would challenge me and keep me young. My heart had been broken before, my mind had been shattered before, but in him, the man I married that day, I was healed, heart and soul, mind and body. All I could do was to remind myself that this was real, and to breathe as the ceremony began. Otherwise, if I fainted, Carson and Jennifer would fuss over my health.

All I could do was not fidget as she walked down the aisle, resplendent in her ivory wedding gown, a length of the silken cloth pulled up sari-like over her head to cover her loose curls. She glowed with an inner light that let everyone see the beautiful woman that I saw every time I looked at her. Her steps were smooth and even, unhurried to the casual observer, but I knew that she was thinking about the path she had traveled to come to this moment, the people we wished could be here, and the people who were here, in body or in spirit. When her hand was pressed into mine, she looked at me, trust and love in her eyes as her lips quirked in a happy smile. All I could do was remind myself not to faint or forget my vows as the ceremony began. Otherwise, Rodney would never let me live it down.


"Push."

All I could do was hold her, cradle her, encourage her, and allow her to use me as a punching bag as she brought new life into this world. It was a miracle on many levels, but no less painful. She wept, screamed and whimpered, clinging to me as if she would never let go. I never wanted to and I held her close, feeling her heartbeat fluttering against my skin, her uneven breaths caressing my arms, her tears staining my clothes and neck, her words mumbled and incoherent against my cheek. Our daughter came into this world with a shriek, an echo of her mother's exhausted efforts. All I could do was kiss them both, whispering how beautiful they were at that moment, how beautiful they would always be to me as I made the silent vow to protect them with my life.

All I could do was watch him cradle her in the first minutes of her life, mesmerized by the tiny miracle he held in his strong arms, a miracle that both of us created. His hands, roughened by calluses from years of handling weapons, caressed her soft skin with feather light touches. His eyes, capable of being charmingly flirtatious or chillingly murderous, drank her in as if he was in awe of her presence. His smile was for her alone, a different one than the one for me, and vastly different from the one he gave to the world in general. He was our guardian, her protector, my lover. As he placed her back in my arms, he was infinitely gentle and tender when he pressed a kiss to my forehead. All I could do was savor the moment as I leaned against his strength, our daughter in my arms, and cherish the knowledge that love would never falter, and I would never be alone in this life.