Opposite Attraction
Disclaimer: Babble fish, babble fish, babble fish! See, if you owned one, you'd know what I just said.
Chapter 7: Knowing is Half the Babble
Turning P-Chan over in her hands, Akane squinted at her pet pig. Blinking several times as her eyes attempted to focus, she reached forward and began to run her hand down his belly.
"There must be a seam or something here somewhere," she murmured, her hand going dangerously low on his anatomy. Suddenly giving out a shrill squeal, he crossed his back legs while a small trickle of blood began to seep from one nostril. Giggling, Akane covered her mouth and looked up at Nabiki. "Ho ho, I guess all his parts line up!"
Having a tough time not laughing, Nabiki shook her head. "If that's supposed to be Ranma, little sis, you just confirmed your engagement."
"You're right, that was so indecent of me!" Akane yelped. Dropping P-Chan onto her bed, she tapped him on the nose, "You best not talk, you hear? I know where you live, don't forget!"
"So P-Chan's Ranma, hmm?" Nabiki asked, reading the warning label on Akane's medicine bottle, "And how much of this did you take?"
The moment he was out of her grip, Ranma began to back cautiously away. Despite it having happened in his swapped cursed form by a delirious Akane while she revealed his deep, dark secret… she'd still run her hand down his body and nearly grabbed his royal jewels. This was, in short, the most erotic thing that had ever happened to him, and that was saying something for Ranma.
Feeling her hands slip around him once more, he found himself pressed nose-to-nose with Akane.
"Look at him, Neechan, he's gonna talk, I just know he will! We gotta shut him up…" Turning her face slowly back to her sister she asked, "How do you do it? You don't…" Her eyes going wide, she ran a thumb across her throat.
"Really now, Akane, just what is it that you think I do? Besides, he's a pig. He might squeal, but he's physically incapable of talking."
Akane scrutinized him harder. "Weren't you listening, he's Ranma! He won't always be a pig. Oh wait," she said, her voice taking on a mocking edge, "I guess he will."
Wiping the blood away from his nose with the back of his hoof, Ranma let out a sardonic, "Bwee bwee."
Watching Akane make faces at P-Chan, and P-Chan return them, Nabiki rubbed her eyes.
"Now I'm going crazy, whatever did the Good Doctor give you?" Placing the medicine bottle down, she looked at her hands, "Did I get it on me? I need to wash my hands…or something."
Hearing her sister make an exit, Akane looked up with satisfaction, "I thought she'd never leave!"
Reaching over to her desk, she lifted the teacup and dumped it over P-Chan's head. "We should talk about your face."
Looking down at himself in horror, Ranma grabbed a fist-full of blankets and pulled them up to his chin. Suppressing a girly scream, he gasped, "A-Akane! What the hell…I don't got any clothes on!"
"It's okay," she said, waving her hand dismissively, "It's Ryoga's body so it's all right."
He gave her an even look, "It's okay for you to see Ryoga naked?"
"Yeah-wait! No…?" she tried to answer, growing unsure as the logic of her conversation sank in. "Your face!" she said suddenly, recalling her original mission, "Ryoga broke your face with Shampoo!"
Leaning closer, he frowned, "Whaddya mean he broke it?"
"Pu-shhew!" she said, blowing her hands up between them, "But on your face. And he keeps seeing Shampoo, but not in the bath like you'd think…because it's the girl kind." Her features suddenly dropping, she leaned in close and whispered, "The bath. There's no coming back from that one."
"Aww great," he moaned, drowning his face in his hands, "why's he so freakin' stupid?"
Beginning to giggle, she met his eyes with a blush and started to sing, "I see London, I see France, but Ranma forgot his underpants!"
"Really, Akane? Hey, wait a sec, why ain't you surprised it's me?"
"I always know when it's you, baka," she yawned, "you make bad disguises."
"But the body swap, P-Chan, Ryoga's curse..?"
She blinked slowly, her eyelids fighting to make their way back open, then poked him in the chest with a finger, "You have the curse, silly."
Looking down at her finger, she spread the rest of her hand open and pressed her palm to his skin. Running it back and forth over his pectorals she let her eyes fall shut.
"I've wanted to do this to you so many times. Always going around with no shirt on, makin' me think bad, bad, wonderfully delicious things…"
Ranma's mouth dropped open, his grip on the blankets going loose for a moment before he scrambled to cover himself again.
"Wish it was yours," she grinned, licking her lips, "bet you'd taste better than ice cream."
Watching her fall back to her pillow with a look of contented indulgence, reality fought through Ranma's brain. Pressing his own hand to his chest in an attempt to stop the tingling sensation she'd spread across his skin, he let out a strangled gasp.
"W-w-what about the whole curse thing, now? This is okay with you, Ryoga changin' an all?"
"YOU have the curse, so YOU change, duh," she whispered, nuzzling into her pillow, "why'zat so hard to get? Besides, Nabiki said this isn't real. Just dreaming…about you…again…"
"Right, right-wait! Again?" he choked, "You've had dreams about me?"
"Hmmm…" she smiled, trying to sit up but failing. With a calculated amount of effort, she brought her index finger to her lips, "Shhh, it's a secret! Mr. Sandman sent me a dream- and you were there, and you were there, and you were there…but why Toto, never made any sense why she brought him? Probably just didn't want to go alone, I guess."
Suddenly reaching out she grabbed his wrist, her smile fading away as her eyes struggled open to slits.
"Please, don't leave me tonight?"
Feeling his chest tighten, Ranma grasped her hands and pressed them to his heart, "I'm not goin' anywhere, Akane."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
A smile touching her lips, she stopped fighting and let her eyes fall shut.
Taking a moment to stare down at her sleeping form, he brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheek.
"When'd you get so cute?" he whispered, shaking his head.
Letting out a sigh, he gently placed her hands on the bed and stood, all too quickly remembering that he was naked. Looking for a source of cold water he tried the teacup, but she'd thoroughly emptied it when it had still been hot.
"Damn!" he cursed under his breath, "For the first time in my life, water ain't tryin' ta get to me!" Throwing a glance outside toward the koi pond, he decided that leaving Akane alone was riskier than getting discovered in her room, at least for the moment.
Fumbling through her closet, he found her robe and slipped it on with a frown. It was a shorter than he was comfortable with, and a tad frillier than he'd remembered, but he was really in no position to be turning his nose up; nothing else was even close to his size. Resigning himself to his current situation and attire, he dropped to the floor beside her bed and pulled his knees up, resting his elbows on top. For several moments he fumbled with the material in an effort to cover himself in a partly modest way.
"How do girls wear this stuff?" he mumbled, pulling the fabric in an ever changing dance of failure around his hips. Giving up trying to be covered and comfortable, he stretched out his legs and lay his head against Akane's mattress, quietly drifting off to sleep.
Shortly after his breathing settled into a regular pattern, Akane opened her eyes. Reaching out, she slipped a marker from her desk and began to write. After several moments she cracked a satisfied grin and returned the marker to her desk. Laying back down facing Ranma, she took hold of his hand before finally, and truly, falling asleep for the night.
…
"Ow," Ryoga complained in monotone as the toothbrush irritated his split lip.
"Ow…owww…ow."
Spitting, he washed the toothpaste away before eyeing the mouthwash with caution. "Not today," he tried to grin, then looked at himself in the mirror. "Not that I'll even have a chance with Akane when I look like this, dammit."
'It'll only be a matter of time,' he thought. Whether he won her heart or not, Akane was betrothed to him. She'd learn to love him, eventually.
She'd have to.
Giving his reflection a last look of determination and a nod of encouragement, his self pep-talk was concluded for the morning.
Walking through the kitchen to get his lunch, Kasumi moved beside him.
"Ranma kun, could you do me a favor and let the teacher know that Akane won't be coming to class today? Oh, and pick-up any assignments she missed."
"Um, she's still sick?" he tried to ask with as little excitement in his voice as possible.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry over," she reassured him, "Dr. Tofu says she'll be just fine in another day or so, all she needs is some rest."
"A-another day?" he stammered. If he was going to take advantage of the opportunity that Fate had so graciously laid out before him, he'd have to work fast.
"Yes, another whole day," Nabiki's voice chimed into the conversation from much too close behind the presently pigtailed boy. Whipping his body around, Ryoga bumped into her arm as he faced her, fumbling his bento several times in the air before recovering his grip on it.
"O-ohayo," he said through a forced smile, leveling his lunch off between them in a defensive maneuver to regain space. Taking a step back he began to make a break for freedom, his sense of self preservation miraculously overriding his poor sense of direction.
Just through the doorway Ryoga felt a hand fall onto his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. "Aren't we a bit too lively this morning, m'boy?"
Looking up into the face of his 'father,' Ryoga scratched the back of his head and chuckled. "I have plenty of energy all the time, uh, Pops…I just tend to waste it on irritating people."
Pausing for a moment as Ryoga's too-truthful response settled in his brain, Genma began to laugh, clapping him on the back.
"Just like your Old Man, always honest and never backing down from a challenge!"
"Your mother's coming over later," Nabiki mumbled, slipping past with a mug of coffee in one hand. When Ryoga turned back around, Genma was on his back in panda form.
"Really, how do you live with yourself?" Ryoga grumbled in disgust.
"At least I still LIVE!" came his signed reply.
"I have to go to school now," the younger man said, leaning close to his elder with a sneer, "some of us have responsibilities."
Walking boldly to the front door, he slipped into his shoes, stepped outside, and headed down the street in the wrong direction.
…
"Akane, are you awake?" Kasumi asked quietly, giving a gentle knock on the door before stepping inside. Watching as her youngest sister turned to face her with a pleasant calm etched into the very fabric of her being, she began to smile.
"Well, don't you look like the cat who ate the canary!"
Cracking her eyes with a grin, Akane gave a smug nod as she sang out, "And I feel fabulous!" Then her features suddenly dropped, "Why do I feel fabulous?"
Moving across the room Kasumi swapped out the old tea cup on her sister's desk for a new one, then sat at the foot of the bed. "Maybe you had a wonderful dream, that always brightens my day."
"I don't think so," she answered slowly, feeling like something rather obvious was being overlooked.
"Does it have something to do with a certain young man?" Kasumi asked, leaning over and resting her palm on her sister's forehead.
"Oh, please!" Akane scoffed. "Yeah, there's actually a half-naked boy hiding under my bed right now!"
"If that were true, I don't believe he would be hiding so much as beaten unconscious."
The two girls shared a laugh before Kasumi gave a quick nod of approval, "It seems your fever is gone." Reaching over to the desk she lifted the pill bottle, "But you still need to take this, doctor's orders."
"I had a fever?" the younger girl asked, her foggy memories fighting through the hallucinations as she swallowed her medicine down. Then she began to grin, "Doctor, hmm? Did we enjoy the house call, Oneesan?"
"I had to call him, you were sick."
Akane gave her a level look.
"You had a high fever!" Kasumi said, trying to maintain her innocence.
"I would have lived."
Meeting her older sister's eyes, she broke out in a broad smile, "Kidding, I'm kidding!"
"Thank you. I'm glad to see you're well again."
Stretching her arms and legs out with a yawn, Akane groaned. "Oh, I'm all stiff!"
"Why don't you take a nice bath?" Kasumi interjected helpfully, "I'm sure it would make you feel better. Would you like any help?"
Akane shook her head, "I can do it on my own, but thank you. I just need to move."
"So long as you're all right," the older girl gently smiled, rising to her feet.
Giving a small wave as her sister left, Akane arched her back in a full-body stretch, kicked her legs free of their prison of blankets and sat up. Throwing her arms out in front of her, she quickly dropped them in disgust. "Ugh, gross, I stink! I guess I did have a fever."
Peeling her nightgown off over her head, she dropped it on the bed and walked to the closet. After a few moments of searching, she stepped back in confusion, "Where's my robe?"
Running a hand through her hair as she contemplated the missing piece of her wardrobe, she heard a small noise and spun around in a ready stance; with things the way they currently were, anything could be in her room at the moment. Looking down at her presently very nude state, she stepped back and blindly reached inside her closet for something to cover up with. Tugging on the first thing her hand touched, she stared dumbly at the belt to her robe.
"Wha-?"
Turning slowly around, she found herself looking at Ranma, wearing Ryoga's skin and her clothes.
Her eyes going wide, she opened her mouth to scream just before Ranma's hand clamped over it, his other covering his eyes.
"I'm not lookin'! I'm not lookin', I swear it, just don't yell!"
Spinning around the corner to get out of his view, she pressed her back to the wall and hissed, "WHAT do you think you're DOING in my room, in my closet, in my clothes? WHY are you in my clothes, what happened to yours?"
"I changed outside, so I put 'em under the house, d'ya got something I can borrow?" he replied, handing her the robe from around the doorway.
With a look of confusion, Akane slipped her arms through the sleeves and wrapped it around herself, momentarily reveling in his warmth still caught in its folds. "Why would you change outside of my house, Ryoga? Seems a bit risqué for you."
Ranma paused, "Whad'ja just call me?"
"Risqué. Normally you're more discreet," she answered, rummaging through a drawer before handing him a pair of her shorts. Short, clingy ones. If Ranma was going to toy with her, the least she could do was return the favor!
"So ya think I, Ryoga, am discreet, huh?" he asked carefully, "More discreet than who?"
"Ranma, silly!" she laughed, "Who else would be vulgar enough to go around half naked all the time?"
"Uh, what about last night?"
"What about it?" she replied innocently. "Did he do something else to be embarrassed about?"
'Ya don't remember and now you wanna play this stupid game, Akane?' he thought, setting his jaw in determination. Poking his head out of the doorway he smiled a devilish grin before asking, "So ya think I'm better than that vulgar old Ranma, is that it?"
Akane shrugged, "Well yeah, Ryoga, of course! "
"Is it 'cause he's always trying ta do perverted things to you?" he asked, stepping out of the closet.
Meeting his glare, she stood at her full, diminutive height. "As a matter of fact, he does always do perverted things, thanks for reminding me."
"What did he possibly do to ya that's got you this worked up? " He took a step toward her.
"It wasn't to me!" she clipped back before slamming her mouth shut.
His eyebrows rose, followed shortly after by his mouth as it curled into a wicked grin. "Oh, so that's it, huh? Feelin' left out, are you, Akane san?"
She stepped away while shaking her head, rattling her thoughts like Scrabble tiles in hopes that something coherent would miraculously form out of the jumble of emotions in her brain.
"Tha- that's…don't…please! That's just stupid to even say!"
"Is it?" he asked, his voice losing a pinch of its venom. For one of the first times, he was beginning to think he might have actually stumbled upon a clue as to what Akane was feeling…and without the help of a mallet or hindsight.
"I already said that it was stupid, I don't want to have some pervert for a fiancé! If I'd wanted that, it wouldn't matter who I married!"
"But he ain't the pervert! They're the one's doin' stuff to him!"
"Oh please!" She let out a dry laugh, "If he's so great, why doesn't he just avoid the situation all together? He sure knows how to get away from responsible behavior, and he sure as heck knows how to avoid ME when he wants to!"
"I don't avoid you, Akane, it's called stealth training!"
She stared back up at him with renewed defiance, "I never said you did, Ryoga."
'Right,' he thought with a grimace, 'Ryoga.'
"You just like twistin' his words around, Akane, which isn't exactly helpful. He already has enough trouble sayin' what he means!"
"That's no excuse for saying the wrong thing in the first place!"
"It only comes out wrong, in his head he's like a damn poet!"
"Honestly, you don't need to defend him," she mumbled, looking down at her feet as she kicked her toes off the floor, "there's no excuse for womanizing, and he needs to stop hiding behind his supposed training and make a choice."
"What are you…he's not like that! And whaddy'a mean supposed training? Quit talkin' bad about someone who ain't even here!"
"I feel that he's here in spirit," she provoked, batting her eyes at him. Planting his fists on his hips, he loomed over her, "So no matter what, you're gonna see him as some letch?"
She nodded with a baited smirk.
"But I get ta do whatever I want and it's okay 'cause I'm not like that?"
Pausing for a long moment, she gave a quick nod, but it was lacking the confidence of her previous actions.
"Guess I'm glad I ain't that guy, then," he continued, mustering as seductive a voice as he could from Ryoga's throat, "otherwise you might get the wrong idea about what I'm about ta do."
"Don't be silly," she said, her voice wavering in uncertainty, "you wouldn't do anything wrong."
Slowly taking the belt from her hands, he lifted it over her head and brought it down to circle her waist.
"Lift your arms," he commanded in a harsh whisper, keeping her trapped in his gaze. After a moment's debate, her arms rose hesitantly, releasing the fabric of the robe to drape scandalously over her bare skin.
Keeping his eyes on hers, he slipped a thumb underneath the hem and pulled it closed again, tying a knot over her stomach when he was done.
"That okay?" he asked in a husky breath, realizing too late that he might have stepped over the line while trying to affect only Akane.
"I-it's great," she stuttered, sucking in air as she remembered to breathe again.
Letting her arms fall, her fingers brushed against his on their way to her sides. Clenching his jaw, he reached out and took her hands, lifting them up between them. Staring hard into his eyes, she shook her head and stepped back, breaking out of his hold.
"What are you doing…what am I doing? I have to get you something else to wear."
Looking down slowly, his eyes met with a growing problem with and within his shorts. Dropping to her bed, he pulled a pillow over his lap.
After a brief search, she turned back to him in defeat. "You said your things were out back, under the house?"
"Uh, yeah. Under the porch."
"I'll get them for you," she muttered, unable to look directly at him. "I don't think I have anything that would fit you and not look, uh, well…"
She motioned at him with her hand, but kept her attention locked on the floor, "…so revealing."
Dropping his eyes to his lap with a blush, he nodded. "Sounds…good. I'll just hide here 'till you get back."
"Okay, Ryoga."
He lifted his eyes, "Right, Akane san."
…
Wandering the streets of what he hoped to still be Nerima, Ryoga let out a growl. With no one to guide him, he was hopelessly lost and quite certain he wasn't going to make it to school that day. Rounding a corner, he nearly knocked into a woman in a kimono.
"Sorry, ma'am," he grumbled, trudging past with little pause.
"Ranma?" came her bewildered reply.
Coming to a halt as the shock of hearing 'his' name filtered through his bad mood, Ryoga spun around.
"Yes? Can I help you?"
The smile fading from her lips, she stared at him for a long moment before she began to removed the flowery cloth covering from her katana, "Shouldn't you be in school?"
"What kind of fool are you?" he cried in annoyance at the obvious, "I'd be there if I could just find the damned place!"
Leveling her now unsheathed blade at the boy, Nodoka grew serious, "That's no way for you to speak to your mother."
Feeling the blood drain from his face, Ryoga gritted his teeth together, "Shit."
…
Stepping into the kitchen after her bath, Akane bit her thumb nail as she pondered her next move.
She knew 'Ryoga' was Ranma, and that she was worried about him being left out in the cold (in every sense of the phrase). She just wasn't sure what to do about it without letting him know that she knew, or cared.
"N-Neesan?" she said quietly, stepping beside her eldest sister. "Now that we all understand what's really going on, do you think we should, maybe, let Ranma back, uh, in the house? Just while it's cold, maybe?"
Kasumi's head jerked up with a start, her hand clamping over her mouth.
"Oh, how did I forget?! Of course he's welcome back in the house, we can't leave him to freeze! What he did, well, it's okay if you're engaged to the person!"
Akane knit her brows together, "What DID he do?"
"Oh, you don't need to trouble yourself with that, Akane, it wasn't much of anything."
"It was enough that you threw him out," she said as non-confrontationally as possible.
"Focus your energy on getting better," the elder Tendo replied, giving her sister a comforting pat on the cheek before returning to her ever-present kitchen duties.
Letting out a defeated breath, Akane pulled her robe tighter and left the room. Stealing a quick glance over her shoulder, she thanked the gods for Nabiki's afternoon classes keeping her out of the house, then slipped through the back door. Finding a bundle of clothes under the step to the porch, exactly where Ranma said it would be, she pressed it to her chest and ran back inside with a small shiver.
"Here, Ryoga," she called into her room, keeping her line-of-site on the floor. After a moment's pause with no reply, she lifted her head slightly to take an experimental look around.
At first she didn't notice him as her eyes scanned over her bed without a second thought, but something nagged at her, causing her to step closer.
Curled in a tight ball in the center of her bed was Ranma, smiling in his sleep and wrapped in a nest of her blankets.
"Baka," she whispered, reaching a hand out toward him. Closing her eyes, she erased the vision of Ryoga and replaced it with that of her true fiancé as she brushed her fingers across his cheek.
Nuzzling further into her warm bed, he rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into her pillows.
With a gentle smile, Akane pulled the covers over his shoulders, then paused. Dropping closer, she stared at the back of his neck.
There, scrawled in her handwriting, were the words, 'He's P-Chan, baka! Piggy piggy, oink oink!'
Stumbling as she backed away from the bed and the truth, her mouth fell open to gasp for air. Staring in horror, she continued to back across the room until she hit the wall, instantly sliding down into a crumpled heap on the floor.
"That wasn't a dream?" she whispered, her mind reeling as reality sank in. "What he was saying…Ryoga has a curse, too…and it's P-Chan?"
In a sick way it made sense, she realized, he was just a bit too clever to have been only a pig. He had always looked the other way when she'd gotten dressed, seemed to understand what she said a bit too clearly, and now she could see why Ranma hated him as much as he did. Why he always tried to get him away from her, out of her lap, her arms…
Then it began to hit harder, just as she was going to do once she saw Ryoga again! All the times he'd been in her room, in her bed, sleeping cuddled to her chest! She'd told him her secrets, kissed him, had intimate moments with him that she was far from ready to share with him! She'd been tricked, deceived, humiliated, and it hurt. More importantly, it made her mad.
Across the room Ranma stirred, causing her rage-filled eyes to fall on him. Rising from the floor she made her way to her bed, her fists balled and ready to unleash some of her vengeance on anything unfortunate enough to grab her attention. Looking down, she glared at her unsuspecting, loud-mouthed, insensitive jerk of a fiancé sleeping happily through all of her pain, the back of his neck taunting her repeatedly with her words.
She wanted to hit him, his present face doing nothing to stop her anger. It would be easy, it was always so easy to turn Ranma into a target, because he was always there when trouble arose. He was always there when the wrong person showed up or the wrong thing happened. He was always there.
"Baka," she whispered, falling onto the bed beside him, "…I'm such an idiot."
Feeling the bed move, Ranma knit his brows together as he began to wake up. Hearing several quiet sobs, he quickly rose to his elbows, pausing when he caught sight of Akane's back pressed against him.
"H-hey, what're ya doin'?" he asked gently, turning toward her. "It ain't that big of a deal that I'm in your bed, is it? I mean, if it is, I'll get out."
"Don't go," she whispered, sucking in a sharp, involuntary breath.
"You okay?" he asked, leaning closer.
With a barely noticeable shake of her head she whispered, "Don't be stupid, I'm fine."
He let out a snort, "Fine, huh? So all the sniffling's just your way of saying 'Hi'?"
"It's because I was under the house," she answered with a quiver in her voice, "it was all dusty down there."
Holding up his clothes, she turned to him, "See? I got these for…you…"
The moment their eyes met her defenses crumbled, immediately wracking her body with several sobs.
"Stupid dust," she choked out, "must have gotten in my eyes, too."
"Akane," he whispered. Reaching out and taking her by the shoulders, he wrapped her up in a self-conscious hug. Holding her tighter as the tears grew worse, he didn't let go until her breathing had mostly evened out once more, her hands dropping his clothes as they circled around his waist. After several minutes had passed, she pulled back slightly and ran her fingers over the spot on his chest where her face had been.
"I'm sorry you saw that, and now you're all wet...I'm sorry."
Taking her face in his hands, he swiped under her eyes with his thumbs, "Quit bein' sorry, what's a little dust between friends?"
Pausing, she looked away with a smile, "No worse than a little nudity, hmm?"
"Yeah," he grinned, dipping his head to catch her eyes, "but one's a lot more fun, don't you think?"
"Idiot!" she laughed, smacking him in the arm before beginning to brush her tears from his chest with her palm. Feeling his hand come to rest over hers, she looked back up to find him staring down with a nearly crippling intensity.
"Ry-Ryoga?" she stammered.
Sucking in a breath, Ranma slid her hand from his skin, giving it a small squeeze before releasing his hold on her. Swallowing the emotions her touch had caused in him, he took several more breaths to calm his hormones before he dared to speak.
"So, uh, aside from all that dust, somethin' else on your mind, by chance?"
She tried to smile, "Just not sure about some things after finding out a little secret."
"Didn't look like it was all that little."
She looked away, clenching her jaw as her anger rekindled.
"Didn't think so," he mumbled, wanting so badly to reach out to her again but worried about where it would lead. Instead, he leaned back and folded his arms across his chest before asking, "You wanna talk about it?"
"You already kind of know."
"I do?"
She nodded.
Slowly her eyes found his, a deep sigh escaping her before she continued, "I found something out about someone that I, I…I just feel so stupid!"
Seeing her begin to slip away once more, he leaned forward with a fierce expression, "Want me to kill 'em?"
"What?" she asked, her tears frozen in place.
"Kill 'em." He started to grin, pounding his fist into his palm and grinding it in, "Just say the word, you know I could."
His goofy grin breaking through her misery, she began to smile back. "Can't let you do that, this time it's something that I want to take care of personally."
"As long as it ain't me for a change, take care of it all ya want!" he chuckled, dropping onto his back beside her and completely missing the gleam that had lit in her eye.
"What do you mean," she asked as neutrally as she could muster, "I've never hit you, not even once."
"Yeah, right! Maybe if you mean you never stop at one, but-" he laughed, suddenly grinding to a halt. Stealing a look out of the corner of his eye, he saw her staring back.
"Were you confusing yourself with Ranma, again?" she said with a half-sincere smile, cocking her head to the side.
"It's, uh, just that we're so close, an all. Real good friends. Makes me feel like I'm him, sometimes."
"Is that so?"
"Yep."
She stared at him, his reluctance to tell her the truth dropping him from the good favor he'd just won.
"Say, Ryoga?"
He cleared his throat, "Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a few things?"
"About what?" Ranma replied, the hair on the back of his neck beginning to prickle.
"About you."
He shrugged, "Sure, whatever."
"What's your favorite color? This way, if I make you something, it'll be something you like."
"Don't make me anything, Akane san."
She gave him a level stare. "Why? Is there something wrong with what I make?"
Throwing his hand over his mouth, he held back his first reply. Clearing his throat, he muttered, "It's 'cause I gotta carry everything all the time. The more stuff you give me, the less room I have for souvenirs for you."
He flashed her a smile that she didn't return.
"What's your favorite color…unless you don't know."
"Of course I know! It's, uh," he coughed, "that gross orangey-yellow-brown I always wear."
"Gross? If it's gross, why wear it?" she smirked.
"It's for…camouflage."
"From what?"
"…Stuff."
"But you like it?"
He let out a small sigh, "Love it."
"Okay…so when's your birthday, Ryoga?"
"Pass."
She stifled a laugh, "What?"
"I choose ta pass on that question."
"You can't just pass in a conversation, Ra-yyyoga."
He eyed her cautiously, not missing her slip. "I don't like talking about myself, I'm a modest kinda guy."
"So, if you're so modest, why were you naked in my room?"
"Already told you," he said with a wink, "sometimes it's just more fun."
Feeling her face growing hot, she turned away, "Bet you say that to all the girls."
Rolling onto his back, he stretched out beside her, "Only got one."
"Yeah, right!" she scoffed, turning his way. "If that's true, maybe you should let her know!"
"…Thought I just did."
Her eyes locking on his, she watched with a small sense of satisfaction as his features lost their edge, his ego giving way to an air of uncertainty. Growing fidgety, he began to bounce his fingers off one another, "Uh, that is, I guess I'm tryin' ta say that I'm…I'm telling you now."
She lay down next to him, folding her hands over her stomach as her heart fluttered in her chest. "So the lucky girl, is me?"
"Do you really gotta make me say it twice?" he asked with a small whimper.
"Well, I need to be sure so that I can plan what I say next."
She swallowed a rising sense of dread at what she was about to do, at what she knew needed to be done to continue with Nabiki's plan. It was just that she enjoyed him like this, even if it couldn't lead anywhere because he wasn't supposed to be him…which was most likely why anything was happening between them in the first place.
Rolling his head to the side, he tried to read her features, "What're ya trying to say?"
"Ranma."
"Yeah?" he answered automatically. Catching himself, he added, "Uh, what about him?"
Blushing furiously, Akane stared at the ceiling while mentally pep talking her courage up. 'It's the plan, it's just the plan, not the truth! Say it fast and deny it later!'
"I, I love him."
Without a word he rose and began walking to the door. Sitting up, she stared for a moment before choking out, "What are you doing?"
"I'm gonna kill him."
Akane's mouth stumbled over itself as she attempted to find something to say, something that would soothe the fight out of him. Something simple and nice…
"Wait! I'm going to marry him soon!"
Turning slightly to glare at her over his shoulder, he yelled, "That's supposed to stop me?"
"Well, uh, don't go messing up his face! I need it for pictures!"
"That's what you're worried about?" he gawked, clenching a fist. "Besides, you said Shampoo already did a number on him!"
"I did?" she asked thoughtfully, pulling her lips to the side. "I DID!" she suddenly burst out before her smile dropped, "That ass, maybe I should just let you…"
Looking back up from her thoughts, she shook her head.
"No. I mean, don't kill him, and I'll, maybe, do something else with you?"
He was turned fully around, now, his arms folded below a smug grin, "You asking me on another date, Akane?"
Meeting his challenge, she straightened her posture to its fullest and pursed her lips. Staring hard into his eyes, she chose her words carefully, "Maybe I am. Would that be something you'd be interested in doing…if I was asking?"
His grin curled up tighter, "You sure you're allowed, Miss I'm-marrying-someone-who-doesn't-trust-anything-I-do?"
"Oh, oh please!" she scoffed back. "Just look at us! Here I am sneaking off and asking to do it again, and you mysteriously appear in my room naked! Honestly, maybe he shouldn't trust me!"
The two regarded one another for a long moment before Ranma stepped forward and grabbed a pillow, covering his midsection, "My clothes, please."
Rolling her eyes, Akane lifted the bundle of clothes from the bed and tossed it into his hands. Mid-flight, however, something small and yellow and soft broke free, fluttering conspicuously to the ground between them.
"What's…that?" she asked quietly, noting something familiar about the mysterious object that Ranma was now throwing the pillow over.
"What's what, now? Here's your pillow back, so why don't you just turn around and we can get dressed without looking!"
Slipping her legs over the edge of the bed, Akane dropped to one knee and snatched the object from its hiding place, despite Ranma's efforts to maneuver the pillow to block her. With a gasp she realized that she was now holding a pair of her underwear…in plain view of the pervert who had them in the first place.
Shoving them back under the pillow, she looked up through her bangs at the culpable boy floundering before her, "These… are my underwear. Ryoga, you've got some 'splaining to do!"
Having the good sense to grimace, Ranma closed his eyes and uttered a silent prayer. Moments later it was answered with a small knock at the door.
"Akane," sang out Kasumi's voice, "may I come in?"
"WAIT!" the younger girl nearly shouted as she leapt to her feet. Shoving Ryoga's clothes further into Ranma's arms she whispered, "We need to be dressed before she comes in…and this is far from finished!"
"Is everything all right?" Kasumi asked, a touch of concern lilting her voice.
"Yes, of course! Everything's fine," Akane rushed out, slipping on her pajama bottoms while still in her robe. Sneaking a peek over her shoulder, she saw Ranma fastening his pants closed, his back toward her. Taking in a deep breath, she dropped the robe and threw on her top, spinning around again to check that he'd kept his eyes averted while she did so. With satisfaction she watched him pull on his shirt, his eyes still pointed the opposite way. Letting out a small huff, she mentally denied that she was disappointed at his good behavior
Hearing the doorknob begin to turn, Akane sat on her bed and smiled sweetly, "You can come in, Neesan. Sorry for making you wait."
Stepping through the doorway, Kasumi pulled back as she saw Ranma, her eyes darting to her sister with concern. "Oh, Ryoga kun…was there something I was interrupting?"
"Please!" Akane scoffed. "Our good friend Ryoga, here, simply got lost and somehow managed to find himself in my room. Isn't that right, Ryoga?"
"Uh, yeah!" Ranma agreed enthusiastically. "I wasn't tryin' to break your rules, Kasumi san, I should probably just hurry up and leave, like you want."
"Not yet, you won't," Akane said with a menacing air.
Letting out a relieved breath, Kasumi threw a hand to her chest. "Oh good, you're only fighting."
"Lucky us," Ranma mumbled, trying hard to ignore the daggers Akane was currently staring into him.
"Well, if that's all, would you like something to eat before you run off?" the elder girl asked.
"I'd love it!" Ranma cheered, "I won't lie, I've been dreaming about your food, Kasumi san!"
She began to smile sweeter at the compliment, then she caught Akane's eye; ever so slightly she was shaking her head 'no'.
"Or we could…"
Akane gave her another look.
"I could go?" Checking with a quick glance at her younger sister, she was happy to see she'd understood correctly. Smiling a bit warily from her position between the two teens, she took an opposite rout of escape, bending to lift the pillow from the floor.
"I don't want to leave a mess, so before I leave…" Pausing, she lifted the yellow undergarment of contention from its hiding place, "Akane? Leaving things like this lying around, and with a boy in your room, no less!"
"Wait, no!" Akane struggled, attempting to keep her stone-cold exterior even as she was knocked back to being just a little sister. "That, that wasn't me!"
"Please, there's no need to lie," Kasumi sighed as she rose. Placing the pillow on the bed, she smiled, "After all, if it wasn't you, who else-"
She stopped as she realized the obvious conclusion to her half finished question. Turning slightly to face Ranma, she threw a hand to her chest.
"Again?" she gasped, "Really now!"
"Again?" Akane mumbled. "Again! That's why you got kicked out?!"
"It's…it's not what it looks like!" Ranma choked, "I'm innocent! Mostly innocent!"
"And what does that mean?" Akane exclaimed.
"He's just showing a healthy interest in girls!" Kasumi tried to defend, wishing she'd caught her tongue before it had gotten to this point.
"And I'm just showing a healthy reaction to his interest!" Akane shouted back, mallet-in-hand.
"Wait a sec! Just let me get a chance to explain what's goin' on here," Ranma yelled, gripping the head of the mallet to stop her attack. Not letting her guard down, Akane clenched her teeth, "I'm listening…"
"Okay," he started, slowly, "those are 'cause of Happosai. I got em back from him on the roof before coming in here so they were still in my stuff, but not because I was tryin' ta keep them!"
Looking at Kasumi, he took a deep breath. "I got caught lookin' through your stuff, Akane, but it wasn't supposed to be your underwear! I swear it was for something else!"
"How wonderful!" Kasumi smiled, clasping her hands beneath her chin, "It was all just a misunderstanding, what a relief!"
Flashing Akane an unsure smile, he loosened his hold on the mallet. With a level gaze, she pulled back and swung down just beside him.
"You missed?!" he squeaked.
"I avoided," she corrected him, "THIS TIME." The mallet popping back out of existence, she turned away, "Don't go through my underwear drawer, ever."
Unable to leave victory in her hands, he stepped up behind her and whispered, "Some of them ain't half bad, maybe you can wear them on the next date you owe me!"
Going pink, she began to choke before hissing back, "You already used your freebie! Don't push it!"
"Is everything all right?" Kasumi asked, her eyes darting between them as they whispered back and forth.
"We are just fine, Kasumi san," he grinned evilly, brushing over the nape of her neck with his fingertips. With a visible shiver, Akane spun to push a finger into his chest, "Hands to yourself, Ryoga, I'm still engaged to Ranma, you know!"
"Ryoga?" Nabiki drolled from the doorway, "Are we still playing that little game, Sis?"
"Oh, you're home!" Kasumi exclaimed in surprise.
"Afraid so," the middle Tendo answered, examining her fingernails, "but I'm not the only one."
As the three stared at her questioningly, she looked up with a smirk. "Hope you're good at slipping out of windows, Ryoga, because our Little Miss' True Love is back from school early…and he brought his Mother."
"Why's that idiot-" Ranma started, gritting his teeth as he tried with less irritation in his voice. "Ain't he supposed to be in class?"
"I don't know if he ever made it," Nabiki answered calmly, sitting on the end of Akane's bed. "Hope his grades don't slip."
Seeing Ranma fall into her sister's web, Akane tried to calm him with reason.
"I can just tutor him, he'll be fine. He likes to study with me!"
Ranma's jaw clenched tighter.
"Not with me alone, just…"
She heard him let out a sigh.
"There's always summer school?"
Moving toward the door, he shook his head, "I think I'll just let him know I'm here, that should help."
"No!" Akane cried out, grabbing his arm. Looking at her hands, she quickly released him and stepped back. "Let me deal with him. I don't believe my sisters have any problems letting you stay here, but he will, and so will our dads."
Leaning closer with a blush, she whispered, "I don't want you to go."
Looking up with a smirk, Nabiki folded her arms. "Are you proposing a little game of cat-and-mouse? Well there's something I've never done before, this could be interesting." Letting a smirk curl one corner of her mouth, she arched an eyebrow, "I'm in."
"Thanks?" Akane said warily, unsure of how to take her sister's offer of assistance.
"Kasumi and myself are both in," Nabiki continued, rising and moving toward the door, "and we'll start now. We'll stall Ranma and his mother for you, so do find yourself a nice little place to get cozy, Ryoga."
Watching Nabiki walk out, Kasumi spun to look back at the duo before following, "Just be sure it isn't in Akane's bedroom!"
"Neesan!" Akane gasped, waving her sister out of the room. Closing the door, she began to grow nervous at the thought of Nabiki alone with a plan and one of her future in-laws.
"Maybe I should go down there," she said as she spun around, "just to be safe."
"Could you do me a favor?" Ranma asked timidly, playing with the bandanna tie at the back of his head.
"What?" she asked slowly, wondering what he was thinking about. As of late, this was where he would say something embarrassing just to watch her squirm.
"Do you think you could, uh, make sure Ranma doesn't act stupid in front of his mom? I mean, he's been acting weird an all, and I know it's important to him, what she thinks and stuff. So-"
He stopped as Akane's finger pressed to his lips, "I'll be there, what could he possibly do? Don't worry so much."
Letting out a sigh of relief, he took her hand in his and gave it a small squeeze, "Thanks, Akane."
Leaving the room, Akane leveled off a look at him as she warned, "Disappear…but let me know where you go."
"As you wish," he bowed, flashing her a wide, thankful grin.
Closing the door, she took a moment to lean her back against it and catch her breath. On the other side, Ranma did the same.
…
Looking up as Akane walked into the room, Ryoga's heart skipped a beat. She looked so beautiful in her pajamas, so natural, it was like getting a glimpse of their future. Beginning to get starry-eyed as he envisioned intimate mornings as husband and wife, he frowned as Nabiki spoke and dispelled the illusion.
"So I was curious as to how you ran into your mother, Ranma? Seems she was rather far from school," Nabiki asked, then sipped her tea, "and so were you."
Scratching the back of his head nervously, he let out an irritated chuckle. "As I explained to my mother, I was busy with extracurricular activities at the time."
She took another sip, then placed the cup on the table, "What kind?"
"The kind that took me to where I was," he answered with less patience.
"Interesting."
"Am I interrupting?" Akane asked after a moment's hesitation, sitting across the table from her ersatz fiancé.
"Never!" Ryoga beamed at her. Giving him a leery glance, Akane turned to her sister, "Where's Kasumi and Auntie?"
"Waking up our dearest Daddy," Nabiki leaned toward Ryoga, "and yours, too. We have to tell them the big news together, after all."
Feeling a chill of panic creep up her spine, Akane looked at the lost boy, who was looking like he'd rather have been a bit more lost at the moment. Facing her sister once more, she cleared her throat and asked, "What news?"
"Oh Akane, didn't you hear?" Nabiki purred, "Ranma and I are in love."
A/N: So so sorry for my tremendous lag time on this one! Aside from the holidays and some birthday fun for my daughter and nephews, I sat down to look at this and decided to change it all! Yep, 19 pages down the tubes!
I like the rewrite better, obviously, it's smoother flowing and allows me to play with Akane and Ranma knowing/NOT knowing a bit longer. The first go at it revealed all a bit too fast, so I hope you like this version as much as I did!
Drop me a review and let me know!
NEXT TIME: COOKING FOR TROUBLE
XXX-THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS, EVERYBODY! HAPPY NEW YEAR!-XXX
